Agassi Outlasts #8 Seed

In a match that saw Agassi blow a 2-0 lead in sets and a 4-1 lead in set 4, he managed to outlast the cramping Marcos Baghdatis 7-5 in the 5th in one of those great U.S. Open moments that you just had to see to believe. Wow. Agassi now gets the advantage of taking the #8 seed in the draw from MB and Andre (if he can walk). Unfortunately, that matches him up with a suddenly rejuvenated Andy Roddick in two matches. No way he beats Roddick the way Roddick is playing right now. But I guess if an American legend is going to go out, it is just as well that he drops out to a young American player.

Eulogy For The Reds' Playoff Run

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury [the Reds], not to praise [them]. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones......................................For 10 years we Reds fans have suffered without a playoff team, the past 5 years being particularly dreadful. So, I guess you cannot really blame Reds' management for getting out the duct tape and super glue and making an effort to hold together a playoff run that was about as road-worthy as the burned out car driven by John Candy in "Planes Trains and Automobiles." But, unlike the radio in said car, the effort did not work........................ Loading up the roster with Kyle Lohse and every available middle reliever has not been enough to stay a few games above .500 or to hold off "runs" (more appropriately called "jogs" or "saunters") by the Phillies and the Padres (heck, even the FL, SF and Houston may blow by). So, Reds fans, go back to yearning for the days of Davey Johnson and Pete Schourek. Recall a time when you could drive across the bridge from Kentucky and pass a station selling gas for $1.45 a gallon and laugh when you heard Bob Dole consistently tell you why you should vote for..."Bob Dole." Dream another dream, this dream is over. Good-bye dear playoff run, I know I will miss you..........:-( HM.

Magic Quarter trick

Thoughts on how this is done?

FIBA to USA Basketball Fans -- "Screw You!"

A special "no thank you" goes out to FIBA for rescheduling the USA/Greece game to 3:30 AM Eastern tip time over here in the states. It appears that the 44,000,000 folks from the Kingdom of Spain (slightly more people than the State of California) REALLY must love basketball in order to shift a game involving Greece and the U.S. (300,000,000) into the MIDDLE OF THE FRIGGIN' NIGHT!!!...................................I am sure that the 38,000,000 people in the Argentine Republic would probably also prefer to not have their game re-scheduled for 4:30 A.M. in Buenos Aires. The reason given? That European viewers would prefer to see the Spain/Argentina game at a "more convenient time." Oh, would they then? Well God forbid that we make them watch a game at 9AM versus noon. I mean, the Europeans only shut down the entire continent's business and industry for World Cup soccer games, but I see your point. Guy in Madrid says to his wife: "Geez, honey, I would be willing to blow off 3 hours of work to see Pau Gasol if we were playing at 12:30 p.m., but I will be dog-goned if I will miss work from 9:30 to noon!!!!!!!!" I call only surmise that FIBA has come under fire for "favoring" the American team with late starts and they have made this scheduling change just to screw up the U.S.'s schedule, hoping to increase the chances of a U.S. defeat.

Gilbert Arenas -- Bitching About Team USA

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/30/AR2006083003244.html. And, thus, Arenas precludes himself from EVER again treading the boards with a "USA" jersey on. Is Gilbert really honestly this stupid? I mean, he insults Coach K ("he never talked to me....I didn't know what he wanted"), both assistant coaches, Jerry Colangelo, etc. Was that him I saw with an American flag and some gasoline walking out toward the Lincoln Memorial?.............................Look, Gilbert, you keep your mouth shut, take one for the team and you might even make the roster in 2008. Say, "Hey, I got a fair shake but I got hurt...I hope to do better next time." Instead you have to tell everyone what I already knew -- you weren't really that injured and the injury was just a way to save face. You then basically burn every bridge. How, in any way, does this help anyone? Answer, it doesn't. Good work (as Napoleon Dynamite would say) "Idiot!"

CNN Reporter Forgets To Turn off Microphone

A little insight into what goes on in women's bathrooms....

8 Worst TV Bosses

http://money.cnn.com/2006/08/21/news/newsmakers/bad_bosses/index.htm. Mr. Burns and Michael Scott both on the list, as is frequent "Hoops & OPC" commentator Al Swearengen!!! Al, say it isn't so!

Nelly to Coach Warriors -- Mike Montgomery Out

http://sports.aol.com/nba/story/_a/nelson-returns-to-revive-struggling/20060829125109990001?cid=562. I will take one from the "We Have No Idea What We Are Doing" column and one from the "You Have to Be Kidding" column. If I were the University of Minnesota, I would have someone on a plane right now with a check and a contract trying to sign Montgomery. As soon as the ink dries, I would give Dan Monson his walking papers and thank him for a job poorly done......

USA Basketball

Everything went wrong for Team USA today -- 10 of 40 from 3 point range, turned the ball over, allowed guard penetration. But they still beat Germany by 20 because, how to put this gently, Germany really sucks. Their strategy of "keep it close and let Dirk win it" doesn't work when Dirk shoots 25% from the floor and 0% from 3. My old "drop 100 basketballs" theory really came back to bite the unathletic Germans today -- outrebounded 48-29 and were beaten in steals+blocks 17-6. So, you are looking at a 65-35 hustle board. Even with Wade going 1-11 and Carmelo only 7-19 the U.S. was able to get enough from Joe Johnson and (egad) Chris Bosh to win. LeBron scored better (13 on 6 of 10) but he has to reduce the 7 turnovers versus 4 assists (although admittedly it is hard to chalk up assists when your mates are going 10-40 from 3. Next up -- Greece.

Katherine Harris -- 1st Amendment "A Lie"

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/28/senate.harris.ap/index.html. Well, just that pesky "no government religion" part thus far, although I am sure she will get to the rest soon. Maybe Ned Lamont can take advantage of her "you can't trust a non-Christian" sound bites up in Connecticut?

John Mark Karr -- Liar

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/prosecutors-wont-charge-karr-in-jonbenet/20060828160509990012

Quiz -- What Kind of Man Are You?

http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/08/manquiz/index_01.htm. I ended up, not surprisingly, as Group 4 -- "Dad."

Carolina Panthers -- "How to" on Steroid USe

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2563563. Panthers "Code of Conduct" -- rampant cheating on NFL drug policy -- that is fine; lesbian sex in a nightclub bathroom stall -- unforgiveable. No wonder New England struggled to defeat this East German-esque drug experiment. The key question, of course, is what would the NFL have done had the Panthers won the Super Bowl and then this would have come out? Sports organizations are all too willing to vacate losing finishes by clubs (Howard Porter's Villanova squad, Minnesota's Final 4 squad). They got Ben Johnson's gold back and they will probably get Floyd Landis's trophy back. But what if you have to go and retrieve the title in a team sport? I don't recall that ever happening.

Dwight Smith -- Good With the Ladies

http://www.kstp.com/article/stories/S18423.html?cat=1. Hey, come on, if I had a dollar for every time some chick attacked me in a stairwell at about 1-2AM........... OK, I would not have enough to buy a cookie at 7-11. But Dwight on the other hand.........

Weekend Suckmen

1) The Aussie hoops squad (fell to U.S. by 40 -- pictured, Aussie former hoopster Lucien Longley); 2) Stewart Cink -- 8 feet for the win -- of course not; Tiger wins again -- THIS is a guy we want putting in the clutch at Rider Cup time? 3) A.J. Pierzynski -- teammate Jermaine Dye hits an incredibly clutch homer to tie an important game and you.......start yelling profanities at the opposing dugout?? You get plunked on the butt with a pitch and your hotheaded manager.......does nothing? Leading teammate Paul Konerko to say, "It would have been wrong for us to retaliate"?????? Wow. 4) Manny Ramirez -- gets what he sees as the raw end of a scoring decision and vows.....not to play for several games until he gets some justice???? Yikes.

Have A nice Weekend

I had to be out most of today to go check on whether my acreage down in the south part of the state had been tornadoed away. Answer -- no, no damage at all (the tornado did destroy a LOT of stuff about 8-10 miles west of my land though -- ever see an entire 50 acre corn field lying down flat? That was different.) Anyway, have a nice weekend -- go Twins, go USA Basketball.

Pluto -- Still A Cartoon Dog.....But No Longer A Planet

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/astronomers-give-pluto-the-boot-as/20060824050509990019. On the left -- yes. On the right -- no and no. My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets......um, no, My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Neptune. There ya go. Extra points for any good jokes about the 7th planet from the sun........HM

USA Demolishes Senegal

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/wbc2006/news/story?id=2559528. Coach K, "See, Chris, you are our African country specialist. If we play Angola, we go to you every time down..." Next up, Australia.

Judge Sentenced to 4 Years In the Slam For Pleasuring Himself During Court

http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1155892476327. 4 years. Rapists get less. Drunk drivers generally don't see ANY jail time. This is a 59 year old judge who they THINK probably was pleasuring himself. I would agree that he probably is not the most dedicated jurist, but come on (no pun intended)! 4 years? According to this summary I don't see any evidence that any person even actually saw the judge expose himself. Wow.

One of Gary Williams' Boys...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2558870

Movie Rental Reviews

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" -- 5 out of 10. To call Depp's performance "bizarre" would be an understatement. All I could think of is child-molester/real JonBenet killer. Yike-o smike-o. Whatever research Depp did to prepare for this role, he should have DEFINITELY taken it in another direction. The Oompa Loompa's are tribal warriors who love cocoa beans and they range on screen from 6 inches tall to about 3 feet tall (damn CGI anyway). The original wears very well as you grow older (Gene Wilder's lines become actually kinda clever in a Bugs Bunny sort of way), but this one I really can't imagine ever wanting to see again unless I could see it on a big screen where the compter effects are, no doubt, awesome..............................."The Benchwarmers" -- damn me to hell for saying it, but I liked the movie. You have to completely ignore reality (team has three guys, two of whom suck, but you never walk the third guy? there are several other obvious problems). But it is nice to see Jon Heder's redux of his Napoleon Dynamite nerd (here named "Clark") and to see Jon Lovitz under 300 pounds again. Certainly not a date movie and it has items probably inappropriate for family viewing (although they tended to go over the heads of my kids), but if you want something to watch on a Saturday morning or Sunday evening when nothing else is on, you will get a number of good laughs. 6.5 out of 10.

USA Basketball Edges Italy -- Earns #1 seed in Group D

http://usabasketball.com/seniormen/2006/06_mwc_box4.html. Some notes -- Chris Bosh DNP-CD, ouch. Message to Chris Bosh -- you suck. We missed 15 free throws (Carmelo Anthony missed little else, but missed 3 free throws, Wade missed 4, Brand missed 5. Far too many guys came close to putting up "trillions" (a trillion is where you post zeros in every category but minutes) -- Jamison almost 5 trillion, Howard almost 10 trillion, Joe Johnson almost 14 trillion, Battier almost 15 trillion. Hard to win when you play 10 guys and 4 almost put up trillions. So, how in the world did we survive an 11 point second quarter a 12 point 3rd quarter deficit and continued horrible defense against point guard penetration? Anthony went nuts (35 points, 29 in the second half) and Wade went only slightly less nuts, and the Italian coaching staff insisted on playing man-to-man even when up 12. The Italian coach learned what Flip Saunders and Avery Johnson learned the hard way -- Dwyane Wade cannot be guarded man-to-man. In the 4th quarter anytime he wanted Wade blew by his "defender" and was at the rim almost immediately. TEG's voice mail to me today called the defensive decison "um.......courageous...." Perhaps "hard-headed" would be a better euphemism? Anthony continues to dazzle in the international game, helped by the shorter 3 and the less physical nature of the game. A look at the box shows that K played Anthony/Wade/Brand/LeBron/Paul big minutes. Melo was actually seen fighting for loose balls and rebounds!!! A win is a win, but the U.S. 6-10th guys MUST play better in elimination play. Look for them to get bigger minutes against Senegal in a meaningless upcoming tilt.

Wisconsin Badgers -- No Longer Top Party Animals

The Princeton Review just ranked the Longhorns of Texas, the Nittany Lions of Penn State and the Mountaineers of West Virginia as better partiers than Bucky Badger. What gives? Is Bucky losing his edge? Are Madison police no longer looking the other way? Input?

Aaron Rowand/Chase Utley Collision

http://www.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/scripts/mediaplayer/mp_tpl.jsp?w_id=513047&w=/2006/open/tp/archive08/082106_phichn_rowand_collision_def_tp_350.wmv&pid=mlb_tp&gid=2006/08/21/phimlb-chnmlb-1&vid=1&mid=200608221622808&cid=mlb&fid=mlb_tp350&v=2&mType=w&urlstr=&murl= As Denny Green would say, "When two guys really want to [get the ball] only one of them can [get the ball]. [OK, maybe neither and one will end up with a broken ankle.]" VIOLENT collision!

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog on the Daily Show

Some old classic Triumph -- "I learned this from Bill Maher..."

White Sox and Twins Remaining Schedules

Crossing out games against one another and games against common opponents (for example, both have 3 with Tampa Bay), we see that Minnesota has 13 non-common games left: 6 with Baltimore, 4 with Kansas City and 3 with the Yankees. The White Sox have 12 non-common games left: 4 with Seattle, 3 with Los Angeles Angeles of Anaheim, 3 with Cleveland and 2 with Detroit. Slight edge to the Twins as they have 10 with suck-teams and the Sox have only 7 with suck-teams. Just FYI.

How to Defeat Team USA

Since I am sure that all foreign coaches are not complete morons, I don't think I am committing treason here, so here goes:

1) Try to get Dwight Howard in foul trouble. Once Howard hits the bench the U.S. must defend the basket with poor defender Brad Miller or the smallish power forwards of Elton Brand or Chris Bosh. If you can't score inside against these guys, you aren't much of a team anyway and you'll be down 30 in the first half.

2) Shade the shooters -- Joe Johnson has suddenly gone cold, but I think he still gets shaded out of the zone set. Carmelo MUST put the ball on the floor whenever he touches it; no catch and shoot for him. Same with Hinrich. Allow Chris Paul (one of the best layup finishers in the league, but still only 43% last year, well under 30% from 3) to have a wide open jump shot whenever he wants. Same with LeBron, same with Wade. If you can psychologically get to Wade and LeBron, while shading Hinrich and Anthony, the U.S. has nothing left in the halfcourt game. (And you are going to have to live with Shane Battier -- you can't guard everyone. If he continues to shoot the 3 at a 70% clip, the U.S. really can't be beaten).

3) Get some old Houston Rockets game film from 1994-96 -- Your point guard walks it up and feeds the post and three guys spot up outside the three-point line. The U.S.'s defensive patience is very thin. If you don't let your poor ball handlers touch the ball except to shoot, the U.S. defense breaks down.

4) Incite some jealousy -- ask Chris Bosh why he sucks so much and never plays; ask Hinrich why Paul plays so much more than Kirk does; ask Melo why Coach K doesn't go to him more and whether he really is better than LeBron and Wade. As a coach, go out in the press and say, "We're really worried about LeBron and Wade, but we don't think we even have to guard the other guys." Couldn't hurt.

One final note -- the U.S.'s primary advantage is that it has guys who can, simply put, play the entire game of basketball (Wade, LeBron, Hinrich, Paul and Joe Johnson are all triple double candidates). The more loose balls and rebounds that are available, the less chance your team has to win -- if you dropped 100 basketballs onto a court from the scoreboard when those 5 guys were on the court, your 5 guys might round up only 25-30 of the balls. You want to LIMIT loose balls/possessions as much as humanly possible.
HM

Triumph Gives the Hawaii Weather Forecast

http://www.videovat.com/videos/2368/triumph-insult-dog-weather.aspx. Oh, no, a cloud!

Taliban -- U.S. Style

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/church-fires-teacher-for-being-female/20060821083709990008?ncid=NWS00010000000001. Well, the good thing is that economic growth in Watertown, NY is such that women generally don't have jobs ANYWAY, so this church is definitely set up in the right place......

Yankees Take 5 Straight From Boston

While nothing may ever remove the stain of losing a playoff series after being up 3-0, this has to be a weapon for Yankees fans in the Yanks/Sox war of words. At least Boston held the Yanks to 2 runs today, thus dropping the Yankees' average for the series under 10 a game (barely). Bobby Abreu -- looks like he should have signed with BOSTON if he hits like this in Fenway (although then he wouldn't have had the chance to go after Sox pitching)........

"I Don't Care that You Were an All-Star in 1986!"

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/baseball/mlb/08/21/bc.bbo.barfieldassault.ap/index.html. Hey, son, come on, time for church. "Church THIS old man!"

Video Game Girls

For all you nerds out there (and the young guys who just love the PS2): http://videogames.aol.com/gallery/videogames-bikini-babes.

Is it any wonder that race relations are so poor?

http://us.video.aol.com/video.full.adp?mode=0&pmmsid=1695037&referer=http%3A//television.aol.com/franchise/top5.adp

Snakes on a Plane -- #1 or #2??

http://movies.yahoo.com. I think you would have to say that Ricky Bobby won again, but heck, having an R-rated movie at #1 or #2 during summer movie season says to me that this was a VERY poor weekend for moviegoing...

El Tigre at 15

Don't be surprised to see more commentary on how Tiger is now only 5 majors from tying Jack. Recall that Jack always counted his two U.S. amateur titles to give himself 20 "majors." Since Tiger has 3 such titles, add in his 12 pro majors and he has 15. The lessons learned this year: A) when you have the golf world in your hands and just have to hit a driver straight on 18, you better do it or move WAY back to the end of the line ; and B) Luke Donald and Sergio Garcia just don't have the fortitude to stand in there with Tiger. When it got right down to it they folded. I think that the one young guy who has some balls is Adam Scott. He at least shot a good round Sunday to move all of the way up to 3rd.

USA Basketball

I watched USA v. Puerto Rico live. Didn't see the destruction of China. Thoughts: 1) While Chris Paul at least TRIES on defense, he still cannot stop guard penetration. I think that against better opponents (Argentina for example) you will see a LOT of Kirk Hinrich (who committed an awful foul against a PR three-point shooter, but at least Kirk is an above-average defender and can hit the wide open three). 2) Guys who just aren't helping -- Jamison and Bosh. Jamison can't D up at all (which could hardly have come as a surprise to anyone). Bosh is rail thin and poor defensively and doesn't do much on the boards. 3) Coach K against PR started Anthony/Wade/LeBron/Howard/Paul. Dwight Howard has shown that he is a world class rebounder against any level of competition. My lord is he explosive. I take back all of the (many) bad things I said about his selection. 4) Bench guys playing well -- Battier, Hinrich, Joe Johnson. These three play very hard and can be an imposing defensive trio. While Battier and Hinrich have done a good job at filling up the stat sheet, Joe has basically taken over his two old Phoenix jobs -- defend and shoot the corner three. 5) Best guys so far -- Anthony (not even close for #1), Hinrich (does everything an international point guard must do, including shoot the wide open three), James (while LeBron is not a good standstill jump shooter, he was 13-6-6 against PR and 11-7-2 against China). 6) Dwyane Wade had 26 against China, but Dwyane's game is still not suited for international competition. He drives too much into trafiic and won't take the open three. He is getting a ton of points on run-out dunks off other people's steals. When the going gets tough, the U.S. is going to need to go to someone who will take the open 3 -- that means Hinrich or Melo. 7) Elton Brand -- struggling. The international game never fit Karl Malone's skill set very well and Brand is seeing that same problem. He likes to bang -- you don't bang in the international game b/c your defender will flop and you have a foul. He isn't comfortable with his facing game or going by his guy off the dribble. He is struggling. Right now he is the 2nd best Duke player on the team.....................................HM

S.K. Ho

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/players/profile?playerId=1091. Chritina Aguilera's favorite golfer? Until I learn his true name, I will refer to him as Skan Ky Ho.

Ha Seung Jin

http://aol.nba.com/playerfile/ha_seung-jin/index.html. I went through the "which player are you" quiz and put in what I saw as the worst possible answers for every answer (PG but can't shoot or pass or defend, too short, too fat, don't care to rebound, go to move is a three-pointer for myself despite the fact that I choke and can't shoot). I got Ha Seung Jin.

Kevin Brown -- Psycho?

http://sports.aol.com/mlb/story/_a/brown-accused-of-pulling-gun-on-neighbor/20060818074809990001. "Macon County Line" was apparently a documentary...

Quiz -- Which NBA Player Are You???

http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/testgen/4249/. You answer the questions provided and then they provide you with an NBA player who fits that description. HM? I am Gilbert Arenas!!!!!!!! (Bruce Bowen and I are still mad at Coach K).

Arrest Made In Jon Benet Ramsey Case

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/arrest-made-in-jonbenet-ramsey-case/20060816163809990004. Huh. What next? O.J. finally finds the real killer hiding behhind the bushes at an L.A. golf course?

George Will

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2006/08/foreign_policy_realists.html. I am not sure what has happened that has made George Will suddenly so realistic. For years he has done two things: 1) pine over "better days" when everyone was white and 100% of people played and/or watched baseball; and 2) act as an apologist for the GOP. Suddenly he is all about ripping poor old GWB. Perhaps when you turn 65, you start to feel bad about helping start a "revolution" that led to the worst ever 2-term President? Maybe when you have a Ph.D. from Princeton and have taught at Harvard you get tired of people consistently stating things you know aren't true? Who knows -- but I have certainly taken to reading his column more of late!

Justin Timberlake, "Taylor Hicks Can't Carry A Tune In A Bucket"

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/16/top-stories-for-08-16-06/. Um, OK, so a boy-band Michael Jackson wannabe feels it is his obligation to rip the OK-sounding Hicks? Why? Is JT STILL trying to overcome the blow to his image he suffered when he was Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher? "Mom, come quick, I need your help. They're taking all of my stuff."

Koren Robinson -- Have A Drink On Me

http://wcco.com/topstories/local_story_228065659.html. To show you how poorly-covered sports is in the Upper Midwest, Robinson checked into a rehab clinic earlier in the off season and his agent was able to convince local yokel media that alcoholic Koren was simply trying to PREVENT a relapse and had not actually been drinking again. With the 11PM curfew looming, Robinson gets stopped around 10:45 "just north of St. Peter." Based upon a mapquest from Traverse, MN (just NW of St. Peter), Koren had only about 18 miles to go -- He might have made it at a rate of 100 miles an hour.

Vikings' Top Pick -- Out for the Season

http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=132236. Just think, when he returns maybe he will run a 5.0+ time in the 40! Local boy makes, um, bad.

Paul Lo Duca -- Item 3

You have to say this -- he has better taste in women than our former President (it is "rip Dems day" here at the blog). Hooters/Playboy wife; great looking 19 year old in NYC; what appears to be a good looking 19 year old in Philly. Polls are expected to close in D.C., Miami, L.A. and Atlanta soon and I will have those results for you as soon as they come in! I enjoy the Post's references to Philly cheesecake, Philadelphia Freedom and the phrase "just a piece of ass for him." Per the latest girl, while Paul may be a three-time all-star on the diamond, he is a mediocre performer in the sack. http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/lo_duca_tries_some_philly_cheesecake_regionalnews_larry_celona.htm

Tom Cruise

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/15/help-me-tom-cruise/. Look, the guy might have some bizarre religious views (and he apparently once stalked Joe DiMaggio), but he has ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS helped out people in peril. How about we toss him a bone and not rip him for a week or so?

Al Gore -- "Ay, There's the Rub..."

http://autos.aol.com/article/general/v2/_a/how-green-is-he/20060814100109990001. So we come to the final problem of global warming. WE should all do what we can to prevent global warming. Oh, did I say "we"? I meant YOU! You know, the poor people who don't have the money to afford three huge houses. YOU ought to sacrifice. Gore's self-indulgent behavior is bad enough, but then follow it down to the just "kind of rich" in the suburbs who have two large homes and drive three SUVs and a speed boat. Then down to the guy in the sticks who doesn't like the sound of windmills on the hill behind his house. Conservation is great, but don't ask ME to conserve. Do you want Jimmy Carter standing there in a sweater telling us to keep the thermostat at 65 or Ronald Reagan firing up the speed boat and raising the speed limits back up to 65? I think we made that choice was back in 1980..................................

Drew Gooden -- 3 Years, $23MM

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2549112. This officially places the Cavaliers at #3 in the NBA for "Worst Unsolveable Salary Cap Dilemma." The Cavs trail only the Knicks and the Timberwolves on that list. http://www.hoopshype.com/salaries/cleveland.htm. Drew Gooden at $8MM per? Eric Snow for 3 more years? Damon Jones for three more years? Donyell Marshall for 3 more years? Larry Hughes for 4 more years? Stop me when you hear the name of a player who is not overpaid for his ability. Danny Ferry's decisions with respect to this team are more than a bit baffling. It would seem to me that Gooden should have been traded to someone for a point guard and/or shooter. If you look at Gooden's stats, he has good numbers for points and (especially) rebounds. He rebounds at a ridiculous rate, only fouls about 3 times a game, yet he has never averaged 31 minutes a game (even while playing under Paul Silas who just hated to sub). http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/g/goodedr01.html His career stats are very similar to and often better than to those of Udonis Haslem: http://www.basketball-reference.com/labs/comp.cgi?I=goodedr01%3ADrew+Gooden&y1=&C=hasleud01%3AUdonis+Haslem&y2=&s=r&t=g&submit=Compare. But I just don't think of Gooden as a guy I want playing at crunch time (and his coaches seem to agree). One reason may be that he has a very poor assist-to-turnover ratio (56-106 last year). Haslem (not exactly John Stockton) had more assists than turnovers last year (95-80). Summary -- bad signing, further caps out the Cavs, should have traded him for an area of need. But they still have LeBron, so all is not lost Cleveland fans..................................HM

Arenas Off World Championship Team

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/wbc2006/news/story?id=2549008. Now we just need Coach K to walk up to one other guy and explain to him exactly how he is "injured." I would choose Antawn Jamison or Chris Bosh. My suggestions: Jamison -- heart ailment (it already impacts his defense and rebounding ability); Bosh -- stroke (explains his lifelong inability to use his right hand on the court).

Another Competitor for My Readers

http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/060814/cracked_is_back.html?.v=2. Um, posting of hot chicks PLUS the legendary "Cracked" parodies? I am soon to be out of the blogging business........

Happy Birthday

to the author of www.k-line.blogspot.com -- my good friend The K. I thought, "hmmmmmmmmmm, celebrity who was born in 1964 and looks like the K?" Frankly I couldn't come up with one. So, I will refer you to two guys with Chicago connections -- in law school back in the day K resembled the young Chris Farley (not the bloated horrid Farley of his later years, think more "Tommy Boy"). Now, due to his keeping a FAR better fitness regiment than old HM, K's weight is down there around the Mark Grace level. Morph the two pics at left (using Grace's hair only) and you are getting close to a picture of The K. Sorry, K, that is the best I can do. Happy birthday.

Carmelo Anthony

NOT one of my favorite players. But you have to give the guy his due as a Team USA player. 4 games, has been the top scorer. We are up 16 against Brazil, Melo goes down, we win by 4. How to explain this? Well, first, the international 3-point line is in Melo's range. NBA 3? Um, how does 28% career (and declining) sound? Second -- when you have outstanding players who can force a double team, you need someone who will shoot and make open shots. That would be Melo. You also need athletic guys running the lanes on the break -- again, Melo shines there (at 6'8" or 6'9" he shot almost 51% from 2-point range last year -- he can really shoot and finish if he stays within his range). I guess my message is this -- on an all-star level team, you don't need 12 point guards or 12 slashers, you need some guys to hang around and take the opportunities created by the point guards and slashers. That appears to be Melo. So, I give him kudos for his good play thus far (and pray that he never has to actually defend a good player on the other team)................................HM

Weekend Note on Kayfabe

It took we a long while in my life to realize that professional wrestling was fake. I was very hurt by the realization. "Kayfabe" is a variation on the word "fake." Example -- George the Animal Steele -- not crazed halfwit with a green tongue, but Detroit area teacher. Baron Von Raschke -- not bizarre Nazi sympathizer, but tour guide at a local zoo. Anyway, I have come to realize that suburban sports tryouts are the ultimate in kayfabe (and no, for once this is not a story intended to bitch about PM getting screwed by evaluators -- this process, believe it or not, actually BENEFITS my daughter whom I will call "DGM" for Daddy's Girl Maven).................................................................................................... Yesterday we had 60 girls show up for a soccer "tryout." It rained hard, so only half of the tryout could take place. The half the coaches chose to run was mini-games (basically 3-on-3 work in short fields). These minigames will count as 75% of the total score. So, you have a "tryout," allegedly to pick the best girls for the best teams. What occurred was like having a basketball tryout where you ask the players to play 2 on 2 on one basket. If you watched the matchups, the A girls got matched against the A girls, B against B, C against C, etc. There was never any mixing throughout the tryout. How, in any way, does this allow you to evaluate who are the best soccer players? It doesn't. That is the whole point. The teams are already 98% set before tryouts. Tryouts are run in a manner designed to accomplish the coaches' pre-set goals. So, if I want to select, say, Kevin Garnett over Jermaine O'Neal (and I do), I have Garnett play against the players I want to keep and O'Neal play against the players I want to cut. Even if O'Neal dominates, I say, "Well, he was good against lesser players." What REALLY happens (I am breaking kayfabe here) is the A coach identifes his two weakest players and looks around to find two stronger players from the B ranks. What they ought to do is just have the players in these categories show up: barely A, excels at B, barely B, excels at C, barely C, not on a team. That would be far more honest. Unfortunately, it would not be consistent with the suburban kayfabe of "we have open tryouts." There are some days that I yearn for a return to rural NY (but then I remember that I wouldn't have a job).

Talk Show Host Mike Douglas -- Dead at 81

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/08/11/obit.douglas.ap/index.html. In my opinion, not long on talent, but came across as a pleasant enough fellow on TV.

AOL Poll Results

http://parenting.aol.com/parenting/onlyonaol/0,19766,1221799_733149_1,00.html. I welcome any and all comments, from married men in particular...

Muskegon Heights -- We Do It By Contract!

First, a little background: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskegon_Heights,_Michigan. Western Michigan town of 12,000. 30%+ of Muskegon Heights families run by single women, 42% of children under 18 under the poverty line.................................................................... Although I am a lawyer, I think that perhaps this is one deal that really didn't need to be in writing....End of story seems to indicate a business opp' for a MI criminal practitioner...

Police: Mother gives daughter to boyfriend for sex

MUSKEGON HEIGHTS, Michigan (AP) -- A woman who feared she would lose her boyfriend while she recuperated from surgery arranged for her 15-year-old daughter to have sex with him, authorities said.

Police said the three signed an agreement specifying the sexual services the girl would perform and the compensation she would receive, including clothing and body piercings. The 37-year-old man and the girl had sex about 20 times over two months, police said.

"It's incredible that any parent would be involved in such a blatant case of abuse against her own daughter," prosecutor Tony Tague told The Muskegon Chronicle for a story published Thursday.

Authorities investigated after the girl talked to another adult, said police Detective Calvin Mahan.
The woman was freed on $25,000 bond after being arraigned on three counts of third-degree criminal sexual conduct.
The boyfriend, Michael J. Fitzgibbon, was being held without bail. He was arraigned last week on six counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct.
It was unclear Thursday whether Fitzgibbon had an attorney.

Francisco Liriano, Sliders and Arm Problems

Between the time I was 9 and the time I turned 16, I was a pitcher. From 9-12 I threw hard enough to get guys out with 100% fastballs. Then they moved the mound back to 60'6" and I stopped growing. So I learned the slider. I could really throw a slider. It broke 2 feet and broke late. It was a great pitch (actually threw it for strikes better than I threw my fastball for strikes). Problem -- as I got older, I still wasn't growing and it got harder and harder to throw the ball by guys. More sliders. In 9th grade I threw a 2-hitter and struck out 15 JV opponents. In April of 1980, I was pitching JV ball and threw 5 innings in a 35 degree drizzle, winning 4-2 when the drizzle became a steady sleet and the game got called. The coach came up to me to give me the game ball and I could barely hold my arm out stright to take it. It hurt that bad. My overall record as a JV pitcher was probably 6-3. I was wild with the fastball and the slider just tore up my arm. Unless Francisco Liriano has serious structural problems or bone chips, I can tell you exactly why he is on the DL. He throws too many sliders. How does he feel? His shoulder hurts some and feels kinda "dead" or numb. Starting at his elbow, the inside part throbs constantly and forms a muscle cramp diagonally all of the way up to his wrist. The outside of his elbow hurts some too, but only if he throws a baseball. He generally just hurts; he can pitch through the pain, but that just makes it worse. He would give anything to feel normal. Fortunately, I stopped pitching in April of 1980 when I got called up to varsity to play (are you sitting down?) center field. I never pitched again. My arm felt good after about 2 months and I was fine until I started having to throw fly balls to my son when I turned 38-39. Liriano must learn to either A) improve his mechanics so he does not torque his body so badly on the slider; B) get guys out more with other pitches; or C) take care of his arm with bizarre exercises and treatments like Steve Carlton used to. If he can't, he better learn how to gut it out and play in pain.

Longest Home Runs of All-Times

http://www.baseball-almanac.com/feats/art_hr.shtml. I don't know if I have already posted this article, but I enjoy it. Post-1996, I think you have to add Adam Dunn for pure power.

Pictures of Paul Lo Duca's Wife

http://hotfoot.metsblog.com/blog/_archives/2006/8/7/2206592.html. Former Playboy on-line model and Hooter's model. Warning -- this next item is not suitable for work. I am only posting it (in violation of my PG-13 policy) since the story is so fresh. http://img16.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc142&image=90a_Sonia_Flores_1.jpg

Paul Lo Duca -- Cheater

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/

Knicks Sign Jared Jeffries to $33MM deal

OK, we all know Isiah has no idea what the f he is doing (etc.). Jeffries' agent apparently turned down a 6-year deal with Washington for $33MM. Rumor is that Jeffries prefers to be in NY for the endorsement deals. Jared Jeffries, endorsement deals. Um, OK, I guess there is SO much money in NYC that you have to have SOMEONE endorse your products, but my goodness gracious.....Which bring me more to my more salient point -- Jared Jeffries sucks. He is a 6 point a game scorer who struggles to shoot 58% from the line. Yes, he can catch the ball on the break and lay it in the basket. But he isn't teamed with Steve Nash, he is teamed with Marbury/Francis/Crawford for the foreseeable future. He won't be seeing the ball. I have seen NYC blogs where (obviously desperate) Knicks fans tout this as the signing of a great defender who guarded LeBron James one-on-one in the playoffs. A) Jeffries' defensive stats in his career are about equal to those of Mike Dunleavy, Jr.; B) Recall that the Cavs WON the Wizards series b/c the Wiz absolutely could not guard LeBron and he went off for something like 35 a night! Being assigned to a good player in close games does not make you a good defender, it says a lot about either your coach or other available options (Arenas/Jamison anyone?). Jeffries' 2006 stats compare unfavorably to the 2006 stats of Kwame Brown and Mike Dunleavy has had a FAR better career (see below). If you want a crappy, overpaid player, why not go out and get one of those (clearly available) guys? Another just ridiculous Isiah signing.
http://www.basketball-reference.com/labs/comp.cgi?I=jeffrja01%3AJared+Jeffries&y1=2006&C=brownkw01%3AKwame+Brown&y2=2006&s=r&t=g&submit=Compare

http://www.basketball-reference.com/labs/comp.cgi?I=jeffrja01%3AJared+Jeffries&y1=&C=dunlemi02%3AMike+Dunleavy&y2=&s=r&t=g&submit=Compare

The Fertile Kenny Anderson -- Deadbeat Dad

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08062006/news/regionalnews/ex_crying_foul_on_hoopster_regionalnews_janon_fisher.htm

USA Basketball Struggles Horribly With Brazil -- Anthony Injured

From and insidehoops.com report (looks like more struggles internationally for the U.S.).................................................................................................................Ticker reports: Team USA found the going much tougher against Brazil on Tuesday than it did a day earlier against China. LeBron James, Elton Brand and Joe Johnson came up with huge plays in the final minute as the United States basketball team edged Brazil, 90-86, in a warmup for the World Championships in Japan later this month. The exhibition victory did not come without a price, however, as Denver Nuggets forward Carmelo Anthony hyperextended his right knee chasing a loose ball in the second quarter. Anthony, whose 16 points led the U.S., did not return.Ticker reports: On Monday, Team USA rolled past China, 119-73, and it appeared it was on its way to an impressive victory in this one after opening a 52-38 lead at the break. But Brazil scored the first 16 points of the second half and hung tough thereafter. The U.S. held just an 87-86 lead before Cleveland Cavaliers superstar James drove the left baseline and banked in a shot with 34 seconds left, and Los Angeles Clippers forward Brand blocked a shot on the other end. Chris Paul of the New Orleans Hornets grabbed the rebound and was fouled with 20 seconds to go but missed both free throws, giving Brazil a chance to tie. But Atlanta Hawks guard Johnson stole the ball from Marcelinho Machado and was fouled with 3.4 seconds left, then split two free throws to ice the contest.

Mark Murphy's NBA Column

Summary -- Al Harrington unhappy, fires agent. Atlanta possibly interested in trade with Minnesota!?!? Drew Gooden and Chris Wilcox still seeking sign-and-trade deals, not finding any takers.................Nene overpaid. Nowitski may seek new deal. Jamison hoping for Paul Pierce-like money. Vince Carter not worried. If you need more than that summary, read on:..............................By Mark Murphy/ NBA NotesBlame is one of the primary hazards assumed by an agent. Emotions can get a little arbitrary when athletes enter free agency, and the middle man has to pray that there isn't a lot of crossfire. But that's where agent Andy Miller found himself last week - dead center in Al Harrington's frustration. Harrington, the most desirable free agent left on the market, fired Miller when a long-anticipated sign-and-trade deal between his most recent team, Atlanta, and his original team, Indiana, failed to materialize. Hawks general manager Billy Knight, in keeping a disciplined eye on the salary cap, is asking for draft picks instead of veteran contracts in any Harrington deal, and the Pacers haven't been able to offer the right package - all of this despite the allure of a $7.5 million trade exception that would make most deals work. Other teams - with Minnesota reportedly showing renewed interest - have re-entered the mix, guaranteeing a prolonged drama. Miller, replaced by the high-powered Arn Tellem, will survive just fine, even if he had every right to get hot when his client decided to shoot the messenger...................."You can't blame (Knight)," one league general manager said. "He can't be expected to take on other people's garbage just to make a deal work, and that's what always happens in these situations - you get offered everyone's garbage. Why should he take on a bad contract like (Indiana center) Jeff Foster's? He's doing the right thing here." Harrington's disappointment is certainly palpable. Like fellow power forwards Drew Gooden and Chris Wilcox, who are depending on Cleveland and Seattle, respectively, to co-operate in sign-and-trade deals, Knight started July with the notion that a long-term deal with a first-year salary of $10 million was available. At the moment Harrington may be a lot closer to starting in the neighborhood of that $7.5 million trade exception, which may be why he's digging in his heels. Knight doesn't want to take on much more than that space. In the meantime, Pacers CEO Donnie Walsh is trying to come up with Plan B, though it won't come close to filling the need that Harrington, a high-scoring and rebounding small forward, would probably fill. "We'll spend the rest of the summer developing something that we think will be good," said Walsh, who is clearly prepared to wait this situation out. "If we lose him, we still have the trade exception."...........................................................That said, most NBA types still expect Harrington to return to Indiana once Tellem gives the market a fresh test. But it ultimately may be Harrington who has to lower his expectations. "Normally, I don't think Al Harrington is a guy who should be getting more than the mid-level," said the anonymous general manager. "How do you explain what a guy like Nene ($60 million over five years from Denver) is getting? There's no rhyme or reason to it. Some guys luck out, and some guys don't." The Truth is expensive Vince Carter, like Paul Pierce, will make $15.1 million this season. Also like Pierce, before the Celtics forward signed a three-year extension worth $54 million after next season, the Nets guard could opt out of his $16.3 million option two years down the road. Though Carter told the New Jersey media last week that he was unaware of Pierce's new bonanza, the die has been cast. Pierce, by signing his extension, has set the new standard for a very interesting group of players. Dallas' Dirk Nowitzski and Wizards forward Antawn Jamison are in the same club, with $15.1 million seasons on tap followed by $16.3 option years. Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is probably already counting his Nowitzski money along the lines of the Pierce deal. Jamison, who can thank Cuban for the fact he's in this category, may have a tougher call in Washington. But Carter doesn't seem to be worried. "I just let it be, and when the time comes, we'll deal with it," he said. "Summertime is for relaxation. If I worried about that now, I'd be a miserable man."

10,000 Maniacs

The Blog counter hit 10,000 today. My thanks to all readers. HM.

Bengals -- Yet Another Arrest

http://sports.aol.com/nfl/story/_a/bengals-guard-charged-with-drunk-boating/20060808013309990001. No wonder this team actually was finally good last year! They have guys who fit the general profile of NFL players. My favorite related quote was from an NFL coach who stated pre-draft (I am paraphrasing), "Virtually everyone you are looking at in the draft has some substantial off-the-field issues. You just need to evaluate whether they will continue or not." I guess the Bengals just guess consistently wrong................

Cindy Crawford Lap Dance

At Pam Anderson's wedding reception -- never let it be said that Cindy has lost a step at age 40. http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1684674

Joe Lieberman and Ned Lamont

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14228498. I think Lamont probably wins the primary. My overall impression? Connecticut is a Dem. stronghold. I think that ultimately Lamont or Lieberman wins the seat anyway, so if Lieberman is telling the truth about still caucusing with the Democrats and hasn't switched to full-time GWB-kiss-ass, it probably is much ado about nothing. Lieberman, however, should be criticized for stating how great the Bush policy in Iraq has been, how things are "getting better" over there, and how Joe wouldn't do anything different if he had it to do all over again. These are foolish nonsensical statements. Iraq is moving toward civil war and non-secular Islamic rule; U.S. reinforcements are being called back into Baghdad, and hundreds of thousands of people just took to the streets to honor Hezbollah's attacks on Israel. Saying ridiculous things and then sticking by them when confronted with contrary facts is unacceptable whether you are pro-Bush or anti-Bush. But Lieberman is going to go with the newly-popular political strategy of telling people that it is OK to drive the bus over the cliff so long as you once believed there really wasn't a cliff there. It worked for his kissing buddy in 2004; let's see if it works for Joe in 2006.

O.J. Mayo

Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo blurb out of a "Stern wants hoops academy" article --------------The latest prodigy, a senior named O. J. Mayo, plays for the high school that his adviser picked for him, North College Hill in suburban Cincinnati. But he has struggled socially and athletically at times. He has been suspended three times, reportedly for fighting and missing class, and some college coaches say that his game has not fully developed. He is expected to sign with Southern California or Kansas State to fill the year before he is eligible for the N.B.A. draft. Under the N.B.A.’s new collective-bargaining agreement, players must be at least 19 and one year removed from their high school class’s graduation to play in the league.------------Ovinton Mayo, meet Dajuan Wagner.........................

World Series of Poker

Main Event is down from 8,700 entrants to 45 remaining players. Jeffrey Lisandro and Allen Cunningham still in: http://www.cardplayer.com/tournaments/chip_counts/3229.

O.J. Simpson New Web Site

http://www.judgeoj.com/. Um, I fear that this will turn out like the Michael Jackson video -- supposed to help O.J., only makes him look worse.

Oh -- Side Note

If you like this picture, you can also thank Will Ferrell for a small mention of Yasmine Bleeth in "Talladega Nights."

Movie Review: Talladega Nights

There is about 15 minutes in the middle of this movie that does not work very well, and Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen (playing the evil Frenchman) have no chemistry whatsoever. But if you throw out the Ferrell/Cohen scenes, you have yourself an extremely funny movie. I would estimate 15 good hard laughs during the film (which made $47MM to destroy Barnyard's $16MM). Leslie Bibb -- hot. Amy Adams - hot. (And Ricky Bobby makes out with both -- Mrs. Ferrell didn't raise no fool.) Gary Cole as the dad -- great. Cougar -- great. Debate about Jesus at grace -- A+. I had to pay $9 to see this movie aqnd it was worth it, but just barely. The Ferrell/Cohen scenes were sub-par and it is too bad the movie could not have been re-written to delete the French character altogether. Still, overall, we see so few good comedies (I am looking at you "Nacho Libre") -- 8 out of 10 stars......where else can you hear Don Shula and Rue McClanahan mentioned in the same breath?

Movie Review -- Barnyard

If you throw out straight-to-video releases, "Barnyard" may be the worst animated children's movie that I have ever seen. Animation for the sake of animation was good, but half-hearted voice work (Courtney Cox's strength as an actress is not her voice, it is her ability to play nervous/obsessive bitchy parts with her tense body language; Kevin James sounds like he may fall asleep at any time), a plot stolen horribly from "Toy Story" and "The Lion King" and, well, some awfully lazy work by the writers/producers. In reality, bulls have large testicles and male genitalia. They do not have udders. So, why do all of the male cattle (and there are a lot -- pity the poor female cattle on that farm since your normal bull can service 40 females) have udders? (The male genitalia could have been glossed over if the producer had simply allowed the talking cows (and other talking animals) to stand on 4 legs -- I mean, is it not enough that they talk? They have to stand on two legs? Is this "Animal Farm"?). Another attempt at humor -- the "Jersey" cows are tough and streetwise. OK, ha ha, a play on the jersey breed and New Jersey. I get it. So why aren't the pictured cows all the jersey breed? http://www.gotpetsonline.com/pictures/gallery/farm-animals/cattle/jersey-cows/jersey-cow-0003/. I mean, good lord, did the writer even understand his own joke? Draw three brown cows -- there, now you have a joke. The main female character is pregnant because her "husband" got killed in a storm. Um, OK, heifers have husbands..........I guess being a bull isn't all that it is cracked up to be. I am still baffled by why Otis has to state that he is not Ben's son. Is this because Ben has an udder and couldn't have fathered anything? If Ben was the bull on a real farm....oh stop...the movie just sucked. I laughed 4 times in what seemed like 4 hours of watching. It was only about 85 minutes. Awful -- 2 out of 10 stars.

Clay Aiken's New Album

Much as I hate to admit it, I just don't see how this thing isn't going to be a massive seller. The songs on it are almost entirely covers and the sort of stuff that drippy teenage girls will just eat up (given the fact that they have never heard the original). But frankly, if I have a choice of listening to Clay or the awful rap that is being sold to my girls ("I'm so promiscuous..."), I go with Clay every day and twice on Sundays. The reported song list:

RIGHT HERE WAITING Originally recorded by: Richard Marx
WHEN I SEE YOU SMILE Originally recorded by: John Waite
WITHOUT YOU Originally recorded by: Badfinger and Then Harry Nilsson
LONELY NO MORE(NEW SONG)

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD Originally recorded by: Elton John
EVERYTIME YOU GO AWAY Originally recorded by: Paul YoungWritten by: Daryl Hall
EVERYTHING I DO (I DO IT FOR YOU) Originally recorded by: Bryan Adams

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS – Originally recorded by: Foreigner..................THESE OPEN ARMS(NEW SONG)Written by: Jon Bon Jovi !!! & Desmond Childs
BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME Originally recorded by: Celine Dion
HERE YOU COME AGAIN Originally recorded by: Dolly Parton..............................EVERYTHING I HAVE – Featuring William Joseph on Piano(NEW SONG)
A THOUSAND DAYS(NEW SONG)

BROKEN WINGS Originally recorded by: Mr. Mister

Chase Utley Hitting Streak

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitting_streak. Seems that old Chase really has to hit 42 before he breaks into the all-time pantheon of great hitting streaks. (I refuse to recognize the pre-1897 streaks which involved the old baseball rule of walks counting as hits, sorry.) I watched Rose go to 44 games in 1978. The pressure to get a hit as he was approaching Keeler's 44-game NL record was unbearable, even for a meglomaniac like Rose. Advantages for Utley -- 1) Citizen's Bank Park is small. A deep fly ball to either alley is either a double or a homer. You never hit a fly ball in Philly and curse the park for being too big. 2) The weather is warm and will stay warm for the next 22 games. I believe that warm air favors a hitter (if for no other reason than the pitchers and fielders aren't feeling as well or moving as well). 3) As we saw the other night, Utley is fast and can get infield hits. Rose extended his streak at least a couple times by bunting for a hit. JRo -- fast; Luis Castillo -- at that time fast. Molitor -- fairly fast. It is hard to rip the ball hard into the outfield for a hit every single game. 4) Phillies aren't the Yankees or the Dodgers, while Utley's story is a nice story, he won't have to suffer the NY or LA-level press assault until he gets nearer to 44. Good luck, Chase.

USA National Team

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/wbc2006/news/story?id=2539080. I saw the 2nd quarter of this tilt last night. What I was happy to see is that most of the guys they have selected are willing to play defense all-out. Hinrich plays hard, so does Battier, so does Bowen, so does Joe Johnson, so does Brand. When those guys were on the floor you knew you were going to get 100% effort (it sort of reminded me of the days when Duke actually recruited guys who could play defense -- so that would be the teams of 1987-1994 and 2000-01). Two bad signs -- relying upon Jamison and Anthony to score (combined for 32) is a bad sign. That means you need to see them actually on the floor........not what you want. Puerto Rico's big men (who suck) had some success inside against the undersized U.S.

Freddy Fender -- Next Teardrop About To Fall

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/articles/_a/singer-freddy-fender-has-incurable/20060803084009990001?cid=525. And why should I call your name, Freddy, when you're to blame, for making me blue..............:-(.

Sue Bird Is a Babe

Having watched a WNBA game the other night from up close, I can safely say that Sue Bird is not only a great player, but quite the babe as well. While she is a downstater and I am an upstater, we both are from NY. We both love basketball. Other similarities -- well, I used to have dark hair... Sue Bird -- 91.

Mike Tirico -- His Sexual Harassment Past

Harold Reynolds was fired for incidents of sexual harassment. Is what he did WORSE than Mike Tirico's past acts??? http://deadspin.com/sports/top/here-are-those-tirico-stories-we-hinted-at-last-week-191242.php. But I can't just post the link. Here is the text, enjoy:

The first Tirico story involves him hitting on a woman and stalking her after a house party in fall 1992. The woman was a production assistant and 'considered an up-and-coming talent,' and Tirico went up to her at the party and said 'you're the most beautiful woman in here.' She walked away, but he kept following her around the party until she finally snapped, 'Why don't you fuck off? Get away from me.' As she and friends hopped in their car and pulled out of the party, Tirico stepped in front of the car and made the woman stop. 'You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and I think I'm in love with you,' Tirico said. She tried to roll up her window and take off, but Tirico stuck his hand in and tried to wedge it between her thighs. She got away, and the next morning, when they saw each other in the ESPN parking lot, he walked up to her, and she expected him to apologize. Instead, he said, "all I did all day was think about you."

"In another story, one female producer -- who had been to dinner with Tirico and his fiancee -- was startled to receive an email from him saying that he wanted to sleep with her. Later, when the staff went to a bar after a late night covering the NCAA tournament, Tirico approached her and said, 'I wish I was single. If I were, I'd throw you on the table right here and fuck your brains out.' After she tried to excuse him as drunk, he persisted: 'I know you want to screw me. So let's leave.' Later, he followed her on the highway and tried to get her to pull over, unsuccessfully.

"Tirico was ultimately suspended for three months and is interviewed in the book, where he, like Reynolds, calls the incidents 'misunderstandings.'"

NBA Rule Changes

http://www.insidehoops.com/rule-changes-080206.shtml. 15 guys on the playoff roster. Shorter timeouts at the end of games. Good changes.

NBA Changes Seeding Format

http://sports.aol.com/news/articles/_a/nba-changes-seeding-format-for-playoffs/20060802154609990001?cid=1690. Oh, and to clean up some unfinished business, Portland clearly won the Magloire trade. You don't want Steve Blake on your NBA team, he will only take time away from more talented players that you could be playing. By rule doesn't Juan Dixon HAVE to be traded WITH Blake!?!? Anyway, if Magloire sucks, he is on a one-year deal. You can move him and get a better player or you can just reduce your salary structure by $8.3MM. Brian Skinner is listed in the NBA dictionary definition of "mediocre big forward" (right next to the picture of Joe Smith - also a Buck).........Unless the 7'3" Korean is the key to this deal, I have no idea why Milwaukee is doing it.......

Katherine Harris -- Under Fire

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_politics/katherine_harris/index.html Now, one would think that helping to rig a Presidential election would earn you so many chits with your party that they should owe you at least the right to lose one measly Senate campaign, right? Wrong. Old Katherine Harris (actual age only 49) has learned that blind loyalty to the cause and blind obedience to every position ever taken by the Bush Administration is simply not enough. The FL GOP has abandoned her Senate campaign. The Department of Justice is issuing subpoenas to her. Her staffers are leaving (no doubt due to some pressure to do so). Yet it looks like she may still prevail in the GOP primary (so long as she does not wake up to find a horse's head in her bed). But worry not, Kathy, once you do what you are told and withdraw, everyone will love you. Just don't ever go off the reservation again...

Kansas

Kansans just voted out 2 anti-evolution school board members, and Kansas has a Democrat governor!!!!!!!!!!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathleen_Sebelius. Let that sink in a little.....................shows anything can happen...

Heat

I, like David Lee Roth, was going crazy from the heat. Thank goodness it finally broke out here with the 1-4 inches of rain we got! As I have some East Coast readers, I want you to know that I feel your pain -- but hopefully if you have to be outside Anna K. (or some reasonable facsimile) will be somewhere nearby.

Reds

Not the 4-hour movie, but my boyhood fave club the Cincinnati Reds. Hey, when you have stunk for ages and you are finally in the hunt, I see why you try to "win now." But come on!! Trading a young pitcher for Kyle Lohse? Unless the minor league guy is a replicant and you know he will die in 4 years, why trade him for a guy who A) sucks, and B) the Twins don't let pitch in any games of import? Good luck hurling at Great American Ballpark, Kyle. At least outfield fans will get some souvenirs....

Drunken Words -- Not What I Really Feel

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/movies/articles/_a/mel-gibson-says-hes-not-an-anti-semite/20060728161309990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001. In keeping with this trend of disavowing drunken comments, I note the following: 1) Kevin McHale does not suck the big one as a GM and should not be fired; 2) That "chick over there in the short skirt" was not "smoking hot;" 3) I did not wish that I "had me some of that;" and 4) Mighty Taco's fire sauce does not "kick f-ing ass." I look forward to meeting with McHale, a panel of young good-looking women, and Mighty Taco management to see how I can heal the pain my drunken remarks have caused....

Creationism Museum

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/museum-depicts-creationist-history/20060731140109990004?ncid=NWS00010000000001. Um, why do we need a "museum" if the word of God is what is in the Bible? What further "proof" or demonstrations are necessary? Can't you just read the Bible? As H.L. Mencken said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."

Hagel Says Israeli Actions "Hurting U.S."

And, although pro-Israel sentiment runs deep in Congress , Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., broke with the president on Monday and said Israel's pounding of Lebanon was hurting, not helping, America's image in the Middle East.
"The sickening slaughter on both sides must end now," Hagel said. "This madness must stop." Hagel has also been critical of the administration's Iraq policy.
Former British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw condemned Israel's response to Hezbollah rocket strikes as "disproportionate," suggesting a split between Prime Minister Tony Blair and other members of his Cabinet.
Straw, who was removed from his post in May, is the Leader of the Commons, a senior Cabinet position.
Blair denies a Cabinet rift, but has said the U.S. must work faster to stop the violence...........................................(HM starts here): Now, explain to me how the U.S. has any grounds to criticize anything Israel does here. Israel had actual soldiers kidnapped at its border and has responded primarily with airstrikes. The U.S. had some bad intelligence that Iraq might possibly still have weapons left over from 1990 that they might, possibly, someday, allow a terrorist to use against us. U.S. has responded by invading an entire country and occupying the country with troops for almost 4 years. Which response is "disproportionate" to the actual threat?

A Few Problems for Old Floyd

http://sports.aol.com/tourdefrance/story/_a/some-of-landis-testosterone-said-not/20060731211909990001. Well, he just naturally has a high level of non-human testosterone also. No biggie....Then you get the lawyer comparing him to bodybuilders -- yeah, no sport cleaner than bodybuilding.......These items plus the fact that U.S. sprinter Justin Gatlin has also recently failed a drug test due to excessive testosterone says to me that the newest blood-doping regimen somehow involves synthetic testosterone and that someone at the drug testing facilities just figured that out.....Oh what a tangled web we weave.......Landis's mom has stated, basically: "If he cheated, I have no sympathy for him."