Happy New Year

Jennifer England and I say "Happy New Year!!!"

Happy Effing New Year, Czar

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news;_ylt=AoLPLZGwNt182SI7UZvi5sg5nYcB?slug=ap-grizzlies-fratello&prov=ap&type=lgns. I think this may be one where Mike Fratello took a look at a picture of Mike Miller's girlish hairdo and went to Jerry West and just said, "Um, enough." The Grizzle trade Shane Battier (efficiency 13.38) to Houston for Rudy Gay (efficiency 7.87 -- place this under the category of "taking a flyer") and lose Gasol for 50-60% of the year. Surprise, surprise, they go 6-24. I guess The Czar wasn't getting enough out of Tarence Kinsey and Kyle Lowry for management's taste????

Gerald Ford -- RIP

The man born Leslie Lynch King, Jr. died at age 93, making him the ex-President who lived to the oldest age (defeating Ronald Reagan by 45 days or so). While today's reports are crediting him for overcoming a "constitutional crisis" by pardoning Richard Nixon of "any and all crimes he may have committed," I think that Ford's pardon actually resulted in the greatest legal coverup in history. Who knows what additional information may have been found about Nixon's illegal conduct while President? There was no constitutional crisis. Nixon and his crew broke criminal laws to gain political advantage, were caught, and Nixon was on his way to being removed from office (in exactly the manner the Constitution sets forth) when he resigned. Ford, as VP, took over. What Ford SHOULD have done was allow the Nixon trial(s) to take place and THEN pardon Nixon if he felt Nixon shouldn't do any time. The voters made Ford pay for this pardon (and his claim in a debate that Eastern Europe was not under Soviet control) in 1976 by electing Jimmy Carter. Ford is the only person ever to serve as President despite never being elected as either President or VP (he was appointed VP when Spiro Agnew resigned and became President when Nixon resigned). A great football player at Michigan who served his country in the military; a good solid Republican legislator for many years, he is entitled to receive a good and honorable obituary. But let's not pretend that he averted any great constitutional crisis while President.

Premier Magazine Lists 20 Most Overrated Movies

Premiere's Top 20 Most Overrated Films of All Time
American Beauty -- agree, although I only saw the TV version, I don't think that just being morbidly depressing is enough to make a "great" movie. Basically a better version of "The Weather Man".

Chicago -- agree, while it is a fairly well done musical, I never understood the Oscar buzz
Clerks. -- agree, I never understood the claims that the film was a work of genius, I think it was Roger Ebert who once said that critics crave anything that is new and different to keep them awake. I think "Clerks" fell into that category

Fantasia -- disagree, was far, far ahead of its time

Field of Dreams -- as a sports fan I have to disagree, I also don't know if "overrated" would apply since many critics when it came out were VERY negative
Chariots of Fire -- agree, maybe the most boring movie ever made

Good Will Hunting -- could not disagree more, one of my favorite 5 movies of all time

Forrest Gump -- when I watched it 10 years ago I would say agree, but I watched it last year -- as you get 40+ you start to understand the point of the movie. Now I am in the disagree camp.
Jules and Jim -- disagree, I have never heard of the movie, so it isn't overrated in my mind

A Beautiful Mind -- disagree, the movie is very well acted and gives a great insight into mental illness. Crowe and Jennifer Connolly are both great.

Monster's Ball -- agree, I think the whole Halle Berry nude deal just sent guys over the edge
Moonstruck -- agree, a nice pleasant screwball comedy, but Best Picture? Best Actress?
Mystic River -- disagree, brutal, brutal film, but not at all overrated...................................Nashville -- agree, not that good.........................................................The Wizard of Oz -- isn't this a bit like criticizing a Model T for not having great acceleration? In 1939 it was a marvel and it kept kids entertained for 60 years. The fact that the my kids now don't think much of it is irrelevant
An American in Paris -- agree

Easy Rider -- agree
The Red Shoes -- disagree, never heard of it.
2001: A Space Odyssey -- agree

Gone with the Wind -- disagree, a stupid choice, it was so well-received in its day that its inflation-adjusted U.S. box office is like $1.5 billion.

Yao-ut of Service

The Big Fella's injury would seem extremely painful even if it is "non-displaced" as reported by the Rockets.

The Rockets are hoping for a 6-week rest period to do the job. If not, at the left is a proposed surgical fix. I hate to be a pessimist, but I am not sure how the Rockets expect Yao to be back in 6 weeks. He was out 21 games with a bone infection in his toe. He is 7'5" and 300 pounds. I am skeptical that he will return at any performance level above 50% before March.

Toronto Raptors Fever -- Catch It!!!

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/teams/schedule?team=tor. Look, they may not ever be confused with the old Celtics dynasty, but I see no reason why the Raptors shouldn't be able to run away with the Atlantic: 1) They are already in 1st place; 2) They have 8 more home games left than road games (as I would say, they are +8); 3) Everyone in their division sucks. Philly gave up. The Knicks have Isiah; the Celts have Doc Rivers; New Jersey has Lawrence Frank and also just lost Krstic for the year. Sam Mitchell is a third-tier coach, but he may be the best coach in the division! So, why not? .500 could dominate this division and I really don't see any reason they couldn't crack .500.

AP Female Athlete of the Year

http://sports.aol.com/golf/story/_a/ochoa-soars-to-win-ap-female-athlete/20061226135009990002?cid=1690. Lorena Ochoa? OK, how many major titles did she win in 2006? That would be.......................ZERO.....................None. Karrie Webb, Se Ri Pak, Annika Sorenstam and Sherri Steinhauer won those titles. I think that we can confirm that we have officially reached a VERY VERY DARK PERIOD in women's sports. This is basically like awarding Rafael Nadal the AP Male Athlete of The Year because he played well on clay and played Roger Federer close most of the year. (That award, by the by, went to Tiger Woods.) Look at the list of other candidates -- none of them exactly sparkled all year long either. I think that the supporters of women's sports really have to take a hard look in the mirror and ask, "What the hell has happened?"

Marcus Williams Watch

http://aol.nba.com/playerfile/marcus_williams/game_by_game_stats.html. Backup getting about 15 minutes a night on mediocre squad. His Efficiency rating of 6.07 is roughly mid-way between that of Troy Hudson (high 5s) and teammate Antoine Wright (6.23). Nets GM Rod Thorn is now said to be looking for a big man to replace the injured Nenad Krstic (blown ACL, out for the season). Marcus probably has access to computers, maybe he could do an Internet search?

Updated AFC Playoff Picture

http://www.aolsportsblog.com/2006/12/26/afc-playoff-picture-week-17/. With the Jets playing Oakland, I think you just have to focus on Denver's current spot. They win they get in. They lose, there are a lot of teams that need Kansas City to win. I think with the Broncs taking on SF in Denver, we pretty much have Jets and Denver in the playoffs!

Updated NFC Playoff Picture

http://nfl.aolsportsblog.com/2006/12/26/nfc-playoff-picture-week-17. Giants win and they are probably in (barring something like 10 games turning out exactly right for GB and wrong for NYG). Packers need not to end up in a tie with the Giants or a two-way tie with the Rams.

Deaths in 2006

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/articles/_a/predict-the-2007-headlines/20061219165709990001. Ignore the main article and go to the lower right. RIP.

Phil Jackson -- Shaq is Slacker, Wade Traveler

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2708333. Rather than focus on the issue of whether Shaq used to work hard for him 3-4 years ago, maybe Phil ought to focus on how his team just got absolutely destroyed by the Heat on Christmas day. Anyone who saw Kobe's defensive effort in Minneapolis against the Timberwolves or his shredding at the hands of Dwyane Wade will recoil in horror this coming June when he makes yet another first-team all-defense squad. Other than possibly Karl Malone, Kobe is the most overrated defender in NBA history. His primary defensive skill is chasing the ball 40 feet from the hoop and reaching in for steals. Once the ball gets within 20 feet of the basket Kobe basically just surrenders.

NFL Playoff Picture

http://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/530765/detail.html. There are going to be a LOT of teams rooting for the Jets to lose on Christmas Day! I would really like to see Tennessee get in. Green BAY!!! stands a decent chance to make it in the NFC if the Giants will lose one more game.

I DON'T Feel Good!! -- James Brown Dead

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/12/25/james.brown.obit.ap/index.html. RIP to the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. With him around, it was great to be "living in America..."

For all those athletes suffering from a groin injury

http://cheers.tvheaven.com/sounds/groin_rap.wav

Duke Lacrosse -- Charges Dropped

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/news/story?id=2706267. Let the disbarment proceedings begin!

Bryant Gumbel's Play-by-Play Sucks

I am sorry, I know that this is like when I complained that Minneapolis had cold and dark winters, but sometimes you just have to vent. Here are the criteria that I use to judge play-by-play guys: 1) Good voice/easy to listen to; 2) seems knowledgeable about the game; 3) is having a good time related to the game (not just yucking it up with his fellow announcer); 4) keeps you abreast of what is actually occurring on the field. To continue with the Del Griffith holiday theme -- "Bryant Gumbel is AMAZING, his work in the booth has NONE OF THAT!" 1) Gumbel's high-pitched whine is awful (not helped at all by the NFL Network's audio which makes it sound like two guys in 1975 are calling a game from their basement while watching TV). 2) I started to write down a list of Gumbel's ridiculous statements and non sequiturs. I gave up about the time he started talking about how the Pack measured Favre's hands before the draft to see if he could play in cold weather. Now, when you start talking about a hand measurement from 1991 draft when the Pack did not even DRAFT Favre in that draft, well, you probably have a lost focus just a tad. 3) Gumbel sounds like a guy you sit next to at a game who doesn't want to be there, doesn't really seem to care or know much about the sport, and just wants to get through the night. His partner Collinsworth can be OK when teamed with a high-energy PBP guy, but placed next to Gumbel his S------L---------O-------W southern drawl just is far too much to bear. 4) Gumbel does not even do a good job of reporting the game. Best one of the night, Pack gets 4 yards on 3rd and 6. Gumbel, "Well, that will bring up 3rd and short." Collinsworth, "I think that WAS 3rd down." Bryant, [no reply]. Here is a guy who has ripped Gene Upshaw, and made statements negative to white athletes, AND he is incompetent. Yet he keeps his job????????????? Wow.

Christmas Gift Ideas

I would have posted a picture, but sometimes one pic is just too hard to choose. http://www.threewishes.com/Christmas.asp Wow.

Denver Snowed Under

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WEATHER/12/21/snowstorm.ap/index.html. If my experience in a Colorado Springs snowstorm a few years back is any indication of what is happening now, let me tell you what is going on in Denver. Growing up in Buffalo the general reaction was, "Get the plows and salt trucks on the roads!" The general reaction in Denver is, "Man, that is a lot of snow. Well, it will be 50 degrees in 2 or 3 days. It will melt." I was astounded by how the area has so little in resources dedicated to snow removal. It snowed 13 inches when I was there. It stopped snowing about 6AM. The roads as of 5PM were still unplowed and almost impassible. The good thing for Denver is that they do have good snow removal equipment AT THE AIRPORT so those runways will be darned nice. Problem -- getting to the airport. You are going to see a ton of Del Griffith/Neil Page stories coming out of this one!

HM

Minnesota Timberwolves v. Atlanta Hawks

I was at Target Center to watch Mo Evans and Vlad Rad and every crappy Laker benchman outscore Minnesota 34-7 in the 4th as Dwane Casey allowed Kevin Garnett to sit for the first 5 minutes of the 4th quarter, during which time a 12 point lead became a 1 point deficit. I also noticed that Atlanta was narrowly edged in the 4th by Utah last night 41-10. So, I thought I would examine the Hawks and the Wolves to see which organization gets the nod. Here goes:..........................................................................................
"Ownership" -- the Hawks' ownership situation is still uncertain. It became so bad that a judge actually enjoined the Hawks from signing long-term contract. The Wolves have Glen Taylor who blindly follows Kevin McHale's "lead" and once cost the franchise 5 #1 picks (later reduced to 3) through signing an illegal contract just before going into major surgery.

Points Out of 20 -- Minnesota 4; Atlanta 2

"Coaching" -- The Hawks have Mike Woodson who is the worst coach in the league. I plan to do a "rank the coaches" piece soon, but the easiest part is always placing Mike Woodson last and Bernie Bickerstaff next to last. Dwane Casey is a nice guy and I have no doubt that he tries hard, but he just really has no idea what his job as a head coach should be. He was running a double high-post set last night with his posts being Craig Smith and Mark Madsen. OK, so only one guy can pass or dribble and neither can hit a foul-line jumper, but OK....Asked after the games whether he maybe should have put Garnett back in after the first automatic timeout in the 4th (when the Wolves still led), Casey replied, "I can't play the starters 48 minutes." Um, OK. KG played 38 minutes last night, so even had he played the ENTIRE 4th he would have played nothing close to 48 minutes.

Points out of 20 -- Atlanta 1 (they have a coach who submits the pre-game lineup); Minnesota 4.

Players -- The Wolves have Kevin Garnett and basically no one else who would start for a 50-win team. The Hawks have Joe Johnson and Josh Smith and Marvin Williams, all of whom are better than Minnesota's second-best player. But they don't have Kevin. Overall, I would much rather have the Hawks' roster.

Points out of 20 -- Atlanta 12; Minnesota 9

Player Personnel Ability and Moves -- Everyone rips the Hawks for trading Diaw and 2 #1s for Joe Johnson. Look, you needed a star player. Mike Woodson didn't even know what position to play Boris Diaw at. You keep Diaw and he leaves after one year as a free agent. The first #1 was Rajon Rondo, who Phoenix didn't even keep. The second #1 may be the big deal, but it is protected through #3 this year, so Phoenix at least won't get Greg Oden with the pick. Say that the Hawks get Greg Oden and the 2nd #1 becomes a low #1, I say the Hawks win that trade. Now, the Al Harrington deal on the other hand? Getting a mid to low #1 for your best scorer isn't exactly great work. I mean, why do the Hawks need another middling young player struggling to learn the NBA?

Minnesota traded Sam Cassell and a #1 so that they could sign Marko Jaric for 6 years. They traded SG Brandon Roy and cash to get PG Randy Foye, then immediately signed a veteran point guard! They traded a #1 to Boston to get the "key" acquisition of Marcus Banks, not knowing that they did not have Marcus Banks' Larry Bird rights and basically could not re-sign him. They signed Joe Smith to an illegal $85MM deal, costing them 5 #1 picks (later reduced to 3). They have Mark Blount and Troy Hudson for 3.5 more years; Marko Jaric for 4.5 more years. They have committed to give away two of their next #1s (if they ever finish outside the bottom 10).

Out of 20 -- Atlanta 6; Minnesota 1

Team History -- Two of the worst franchises in recent NBA history. The Hawks have not reached the third round of a playoff format since 1961, have won no NBA titles in 48 years and have not reached the playoffs in 7 years.
The Timberwolves have not reached the playoffs in 2 years and have been to a 2nd or 3rd round series only once in their 18 year history. Their early suckiness as a franchise is the stuff of legends.

Out of 20 -- Atlanta 2; Minnesota 4. Final score -- Atlanta 23; Minnesota 22. Overall, Minnesota is worse than the Hawks.

Donald Trump On Rosie O'Donnell

Trump moves WAY up in my estimation this week: 1) keeps on the smoking Miss USA despite cocaine use; and 2) just completely rips apart Rosie O'Donnell: "Rosie O'Donnell is disgusting, I mean both inside and out," Trump shot back on the syndicated entertainment show "The Insider." "Take a look at her, she's a slob. She talks like a truck driver. ... Her show failed when it was a talk show, she failed on that. The ratings went very, very low and very bad and she got essentially thrown off television. Her magazine was a total catastrophe, she got sued."I never went bankrupt, but she said I went bankrupt. So probably I'll sue her because it would be fun. I'd like to take some money out of her fat-ass pockets," he said.

Worst 5 NFL Announcers

http://nfl.aolsportsblog.com/2006/12/19/five-worst-announcers-in-nfl-broadcast-booths-kornheiser-leads/?ncid=NWS00010000000001. While I certainly won't say anything favorable about Dan Dierdorf (GC Boy's fave), I have to ask exactly how much football this guy really watches. OK, Kornheiser -- easy cheap shot. But is he worse than say, Bill Maas???? I highly doubt it. http://nobillmaas.blogspot.com/. Siragusa? Well, he basically is asked to do nothing. If you were paid a salary and asked to do nothing, what would you do? You will see that they have a "best" list -- where is Troy Aikman on this list? Daryl Johnston? Neith one??? Look, I thought hiring Troy was a disaster. He is great. Not on the good list. Where is Bryant Gumbel on the bad list?

Georgia Youth Jailed 10 years for Consensual Sodomy

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/19/us/19georgia.html?_r=1&oref=slogin. He was 17, she was 15. Now, the part of me that has a 12 1/2 year old daughter says, "Good." But the high school football player part of me says, "When I was 17, I had a 15 year old girlfriend." One might ask, where is the Governor in all of this? I mean, isn't this why we have executive clemency and the power of the pardon? Right?

Wolves Once Again Screwed Over By Joe Smith -- Iverson Goes to Denver

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2702501. You get Andre Miller and Joe Smith for the #2 scorer in the NBA???? Plus what I can only assume are 2 pretty low #1 picks? Billy King's legacy lives on. Smith has now cost the Wolves 3 #1s and Allen Iverson. Thanks Joe. Kevin McHale was sleeping and could not be reached for comment.

Miss USA Keeps Crown

Noted Donald Trump -- "Look at these friggin' photos! The second-place chick in Miss USA is always the nice girl who is not as hot. So do you think I am getting rid of this girl just for doing coke and frenching Miss Teen USA in public? I think not." OK, so I am paraphrasing....

Doug Collins on TNT -- AI to Minnesota

Doug Collins on the possibility of Allen Iverson getting traded to the Minnesota Timberwolves: “I think (Minnesota is) where (Allen Iverson’s) going next. I think they are going to put together a package and I think one of the keys will be (rookie) Randy Foye, the terrific guard out of Villanova with Philadelphia ties. I think they’ll put some other pieces together with that and I think you might see that on Friday. My philosophies are sometimes wrong, but never in doubt.” HM says -- Hopefully this will be a time when Doug Collins is correct.

George Karl on Isiah

http://www.newsday.com/sports/basketball/knicks/ny-spkside195021750dec19,0,6098410.story?coll=ny-knicks-print. Say what you will about George Karl -- he sure knows how to evaluate someone's character!

T.O. -- Out $35,000 For Spitting Incident

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-cowboys-owensfined&prov=ap&type=lgns. Fortunately T.O. can probably make it back by agreeing to re-enact the stunt on the next edition of "Flava of Love"!

Knicks-Nuggets Suspensions

http://aol.nba.com/news/Nuggets_Knicks_Suspensions.html. Here they are. I think Robinson and JR Smith got too much. Collins' 6 games for being sucker-punched seems a bit much. I hope the Knicks enjoy paying for Isiah's $500,000 measure of revenge.

Scoring Gone Wild!

Arenas hits for 60, Kobe for 48. Wiz and Lakers put up 288. I guess there really were benefits to the NBA's new nerf-like mush ball! Oh well, sorry fellas, ya gotta go back to a ball that bounces hard off the iron starting Jan. 1......................... In other scoring news -- PM's team gets waxed 57-12 to start a tourney this weekend. The other 5th grade squad had 3 guys taller than me (5'8 1/2")! 5th graders! PM's squad turned it around with victories by 8 and 25 in pool play and a 30-point ass kicking to win 3rd place. So, why do I mention that here? In the 3rd place game PM pulled an Austin Carr/Bill Bradley and went for 21 points in 14 minutes of playing time. His career high in crappy house league play was only 12! Huge effort by PM.

And He Couldn't Even Get the Gold!

http://sports.aol.com/news/articles/_a/runner-reportedly-fails-gender-test/20061218000009990001

Lindsey Lohan on Learning to Be a Stripper

http://perezhilton.com/topics/lindsay_lohan/lohans_latest_letter_of_truth_20061218.php. Nice language, Linds....

Interesting Crime

http://celebrity.aol.com/people/ataol/articles/0,,20004387,00.html. A WOMAN threatened to sexually molest a dog? Uh, more facts please...

Mary Cheney and GWB

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/12/15/bush.cheney.reut/index.html. Now, I am confused. Do same-sex couples provide sufficiently loving and caring environments for their children? Are their children NOT horribly damaged by being raised that way? If Mary Cheney's kid will be perfectly fine, then exactly where are we on the whole "gay marriage is the end of our society" dealie? Aren't the statements made by GWB exactly 100% contrary to the GOP position paper on gay marriage? Shouldn't he either retract them or just come out and say, "OK, OK, I give up. It has all been a ruse to get poor people who hate gays to vote for me???" Again, a little confused here......

Mary Cheney and GWB

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/12/15/bush.cheney.reut/index.html. Now, I am confused. Do same-sex couples provide sufficiently loving and caring environments for their children? Are their children NOT horribly damaged by being raised that way? If Mary Cheney's kid will be perfectly fine, then exactly where are we on the whole "gay marriage is the end of our society" dealie? Aren't the statements made by GWB exactly 100% contrary to the GOP position paper on gay marriage? Shouldn't he either retract them or just come out and say, "OK, OK, I give up. It has all been a ruse to get poor people who hate gays to vote for me???" Again, a little confused here......

Steals + Blocks -- A Historical Perspective

http://www.nbcsports.com/nba/424876/detail.html. I honestly never had any idea that Terry Tyler was that good of a defender!

Iverson Trade Rumors

http://www.insidehoops.com/nba_rumors.shtml. The only things that shine through in these rumors are: 1) Iverson wants to go play with KG in Minnesota; and 2) no one other than the Denver Nuggets is working very hard to get Allen Iverson. The list of names that people "absolutely won't give up" is getting to be laughable -- Delonte West? Shaun Livingston? J.R. Smith? Untouchable. Al Jefferson untouchable? OK -- all of these guys have decent upside. One day they could POSSIBLY be all-star players. But right now they are all inconsistent players on teams hovering around .500. It will be interesting to see how "invaluable" these guys are when their contracts come up for renewal. I'd love to be Shaun Livingston's agent and say, "Hey, ya thought Shaun had more value than a 7-time NBA all-star and former MVP; time to pony up the cash!" Sac Kings just absolutely WON'T give up Kevin Martin.............for Allen Iverson?? Really? Let's see, Kevin is shooting about 60% from every spot on the floor, playing with Ron Artest and Mike Bibby, yet still the Kings languish around .500 and appear to be headed nowhere. Do you think he will start playing BETTER in Philly? Scoring say 30 ppg and shooting 80% from the field? Let's gain some perspective here -- this isn't a Hall of Fame player who is going to challenging for the MVP. He is going to be a nice starting player for 10 years, maybe make the all-star game for 2-4 of those years. But he isn't going to elevate your club or the club you send him to. Final analysis -- teams are trying to low-ball Philly, knowing that Billy King is such a terrible GM. "Billy, um, how about guys who don't even start for us and a couple low #1s for AI?" So, the $800,000 house that may need some extra maintenance sits there for sale while guys offer $300,000 or $400,000. We shall see who blinks first.

New Timberwolf?

http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/worlds-tallest-man-saves-two-dolphins/20061214105209990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001. If the Iverson deal doesn't get done, I anticipate that the Wolves call on this guy.

Penis Pumping Judge Denied Parol

http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1165413313082. The word "vindictive" certainly comes to mind. As noted in an earlier Blog entry, I don't know how they even convicted the guy (testimony was that one employee "thought" she heard some suspicious noises eminating from under the judge's bench). But assuming he did everything he was accused of -- 4 years? How much is it costing the State of Oklahoma to house him in an "undisclosed location"? Lesson -- if you are accused of um, "playing ball" you better "play ball" with Oklahoma prosecutors........

Jim Souhan Column on Mark McGwire

http://www.startribune.com/150/story/871962.html. Um, OK. Souhan's theory here is that we HAVE to vote McGwire into the Hall of Fame because it will embarrass him. Using this same theory, I request that any rich reader provide me with $10,000,000 so that I will be embarrassed by my new riches. Now, I will have all of the money I ever wanted and will never have to work again, but BOY will I be embarrassed by people asking me questions.......................! Jim Sohan's Mount Rushmore of sports greats: Ben Johnson (hey, he won a lot of races where he didn't test positive), O.J. Simpson (not guilty), Kornelia Ender (hey, she was the VICTIM in those doping scandals) and, of course, Mark McGwire (Souhan says MM had to face black pitchers and Babe Ruth didn't, implying, I guess, that MM was better). Pete Rose finishes a close 5th ("rules schmules"). Rose will get a bust and pedestal in the Souhan household entryway.

"Mallard Fillmore" Cartoonist Arrested for DWI

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061211/LOCAL/61211035/-1/topstoriesrecache My favorite description of this VERY unfunny comic strip is the blogger who described the strip as being about the 'miseries of an alcoholic, reactionary version of Donald Duck." http://gorenfeld.net/john/ I believe that a strip which posted nothing else each day other than "[name of different Democrat] sucks the big one" would be funnier and more informative than Mallard Fillmore.

One Iverson Note

Just one note on AI -- so Ric Bucher says on ESPN last night that Denver is a top candidate because they can trade Joe Smith and Nene for AI and "they can get rid of Nene's contract" (or some such wording). So all morning I have to listen to sports talk radio guys say, "Well, Nene has an expiring contract." Nene is owed $60MM for this year and the next 4. He does NOT have an expiring contract! What the Sixers want to do is get Nene and send him to Portland for Jamal Magloire (who, in fact, does have an expiring contract). There are times when I really wonder why sportscasters get paid at all....

Strip Club Shooting Kills 3

http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/three-killed-in-strip-club-shooting/20061212124209990001?cid=2194. Fell in love with a bartender at a strip club....such is life in New Bedford.........

Blog Has A New Look

It is still a work in progress, so feel free to rip away until you feel it is acceptable. To help the Blog's appearance, I offer up Janie Lane's former girlfriend and wife............Bobbie Brown.

Brain Scalabrine Feature

http://www.iheartceltics.blogspot.com/. Go to the youtube video 9which right now is at the top). My favorite line, "It is like having a McRib sandwich right there for you and instead eating a salad."

Rating the NFL Coaches

http://proxy.espn.go.com/nfl/sportsnation/ratings. Look at the guy who ranks between Rod Marinelli and Art Shell in the group of three least-favorite coaches!!! Wow. I tried to vote B Chiliwhack down to below 50%, but my vote wasn't enough.......

Stern Caves In -- "New Ball" Done on December 31

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2694335. I would have to put this embarrassing episode right up there with the New Coke fiasco from 1985. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Coke#Backlash. I am never surprised by how far the NBA will go to whore itself out for the almighty dollar (recall that they basically abandoned broadcast TV for the early rounds of the playoffs, rendering them , in my opinion, one step below baseball and football......and NASCAR). But I think that David Stern finally reached the point of "whacked-out egomaniac" when he tried to jam this new ball down the players' throats. People who complained about the old ball??????????? That would be no one. Marketing advantages of the new ball other than "it's new"? That would be none. If you are going to go all crazy and whacky, why pick a puke-colored ball that feels like a 1982 Mikasa-issued indoor-outdoor ball? The theory was that young NBA fans (read "black kids in the city") would buy the new ball because it was an indoor-outdoor ball. Well, there are already a million indoor-outdoor balls. Are you going to pay $100 for one that is covered 35% by logos and doesn't bounce reliably? The amazing thing about this story is that you could go on and on and on and on with criticisms and basically no one would take the other side. The players filed an "unfair labor practices" complaint that the league unilaterally changed their work conditions. Guided, no doubt, by counsel, the players figured out that they needed to put away some true and valid criticisms ("it gets slippery when wet, bounces unevenly, can be incredibly sticky when dry") and haul out some magic NLRB words ("it is a DANGEROUS ball, it causes us hand INJURIES, we get CUT by using the ball"). Once the change in work rules was challenged on safety grounds, that was all she wrote for Mr. Stern's experiment. The league could not afford to risk an adverse ruling on this issue that might impact their rights to act unilaterally on other issues (dress code, on-court conduct). Chalk up one for the players' union.

Happy Birthday

..........to The Playstation Maven!!!!!!!!!! PM turns 11 today, which I guess is good since the older he gets the less I will be embarrassed when he inevitably passes me in height. The doctor predicts a height in excess of 6 feet for PM, meaning he will have 3.5 inches+ on old dad. Eleven years ago at 5AM, I was in an operating room in a Minneapolis hospital waiting for the premature little man to get born. They were fairly certain that at 34 weeks he would be tiny and would not breath on his own. Turns out he was 5 pounds, 3 ounces, decent length (17" maybe) and did just fine. When they asked me to diaper him, he peed on me -- sign of things to come I guess........................................... PM takes after his mom quite a bit. He is tall and lean. He takes things very seriously and worries a fair amount. He has her hair color. But every once in a while, I see a little bit of old HM in the boy. As Bobby Goldsboro said, "what a handsome lad; that's my boy."

Mariah Carey Threatens Suit Against Mary Carey

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/articles/_a/mariah-carey-battles-porn-star-over-name/20061208195809990001. Frankly, I myself have been confused. I went in to a video store one time wanting to rent "Glitter" and by mistake rented "Pok-Her Throwdown (where all of the bets are all in)." To be honest, I had hoped that Mariah would do something to INCREASE the confusion, but this is at least a step toward uniting the four, er, I mean two.

Timberwolves???

The Wolves' win over the Bulls should be disturbing to Bulls fans: 1) Mike James scored whenever he wanted to score; 2) Kevin Garnett appeared to be an 8th grader playing against 5th graders. He simply reached over the top of Chicago players any time he wanted to get the ball; 3) The Bulls never really threatened the Wolves -- cutting a lead to 7 in the NBA at home is almost a given, not a run. 4) Ben Wallace looks awfully thin and old. 1.8 blocks and 9 rebounds a game isn't worth $10MM a year. Sorry. Andres Biedrins is getting 2.4 blocks and 9.5 rebounds a game and he is shooting 64% (not 46% Ben). Conclusion from watching Bulls/Wolves -- Bulls BADLY need to balance their roster. They have all small forwards and shooting guards and basically no top-flight interior players (again, sorry Ben, getting badly outplayed by Biedrins renders you a second-tier player). Frankly, they really need someone like Tyson Chandler (12.1 RPG in 31 MPG)!!! The good thing is that the Bulls have a ton of assets to use in trades. Is Troy Murphy an option?

Iverson Trade Rumors

http://www.hoopshype.com/rumors.htm. Let's make the start of this whole thing easy -- first, not even Billy King (great college defender at Duke when I was there, so I regret that he has become such a laughingstock as an NBA GM) is going to be so stupid as to trade Iverson to an Eastern Conference rival. Do you really think he wants to see AI come into Philly twice a year and torch his former mates? To see AI turn a mediocre Eastern Conference team into a playoff contender? I don't. So, look West young man. Golden State has plenty of guys and plenty of salary to move (Troy Murphy, Baron Davis, Jason Richardson, Mike Dunleavy, Adonal Foyle). Sacramento is said to have some interest. Lakers also, Timberwolves also. I would say that Golden State make the most sense. They can offer up over $20MM very easily. Minnesota? Do you want Randy Foye and a load of crap? That is about all the Wolves have to offer.

Ahead of the Curve

I notice that Toronto lost last night. I also notice that both the Knicks and Nets play tonight. The Knicks have a winnable game (home with Celts) and the Nets, as we have seen all year, can lose to anyone, including Memphis. So, let me try to be proactive and ahead of the curve here -- THE NEW YORK KNICKS MAY BE IN FIRST PLACE AFTER TONIGHT!!!!!!!!! That is right, the Knickerbockers!! First place!! For those of you who haven't noticed the Knicks' surge over the past 10 games (4-6, a blistering .400 winning percentage), this may come as some surprise. But behind Isiah Thomas's non-sexually-harassing leadership, the Knicks have become a force in the Atlantic Division. Of course, it is a division where (if everything falls correctly tonight) we could have a 3-way tie at the top at 7-13, a .350 winning percentage. It is also a division where every single team has a worse record than every other NBA club other than Charlotte, Memphis and Portland. And a division where the division winner would be the 10th seed if the playoffs started today!!! But since I just KNOW that Isiah is readying his self-congratulatory postgame speech, I thought I would get ahead of the curve and say -- "WOW, the KNICKS might be in first place tomorrow morning!!"

Tomlinson

The Young LT raised his TD # to 29 this weekend, breaking Shaun Alexander's one-year-old mark of 28. So, the question becomes, is LT the greatest running back ever to play in the NFL? The greatest player? http://www.profootballreference.com/players/TomlLa00.htm. Well, I have always said that the three greatest NFL players of all time are: 1) Jim Brown; 2) Lawrence Taylor; and 3) Jerry Rice. Can I say right now that Tomlinson is a better player than any of these three? No. Is he a better player than Barry Sanders? Yes. Marshall Faulk? Yes. Thurman Thomas? Yes. So he right now ranks WAY up there in the pantheon of great running backs -- about where I would put Eric Dickerson. If he enjoys some playoff success (and I don't mean 80 yards in a loss to the Jets) and longevity, he starts approaching Emmitt Smith and Walter Payton on the list of greatest running backs. I think he has more physical talent than either man. Will he ever crack the ranks of Jim Brown, Lawrence Taylor or Jerry Rice? I'd say he'd have to put in 5 more great years and perform well in at least 5 playoff games. If he did that, he may well break into my top 3.

The Next University of Minnesota Coaching Hire?

"The U" needs a guy who is young, has led teams to the NCAA tourney, is not afraid to bend some NCAA rules, has experience with Midwestern fans and alums, and has been around a great coach in his coaching and playing past. Fortunately he sent a video with his resume! His motivational skills may seal the deal: http://www.ifilm.com/video/2699391

Sheed's Car For Sale

http://www.autoblog.com/2006/12/06/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-sheeds-maybach/

Suns 161, Nets 157 (DOT)

http://aol.nba.com/games/20061207/PHXNJN/boxscore.html. Now, maybe the voters who vote for the all-defense team will go back and review this box score and game footage before naming Jason Kidd 1st team all-defense again!!! OK, Phoenix took 117 shots. 117 shots! (Miami had 83 in beating Sac in OT last night). The Nets in defending those 117 shots had 2 steals and 3 blocks. So, the stifling Nets defense was able to get its hand on the ball roughly 4% of the time or once for every 23.4 times the Suns put up a shot. Kidd was lit up by Nash. They moved him onto Diaw -- lit up by Diaw. I believe I saw Mike D'Antoni and Dick Van Arsdale score a basket on Kidd. Richard Jefferson and Vince Carter played almost 87 total minutes -- 0 steals, 0 blocks. Vinny had 4 total rebounds in a game where the teams missed a total of 103 shots. So, 200+ possessions, 103 missed shots (plus missed back-end free throws if any), Vince got possession for his team a total of 4 times. I will tell you this for all of you young'uns -- if you want to see how the NBA played games in the 1970s and early 1980s, this is the game to watch. Guys come down make one pass and shoot. Opponent plays a shaky man-to-man and hopes you miss so they can get the ball back and shoot quickly at the other end. From the highlights alone, I thought I was watching McAdoo and Randy Smith again. I was wondering why Jack Ramsey wasn't calling more plays for Jim McMillan!

Heidi Klum Video

http://journals.aol.com/aolvideo/AOLVideoBlog/entries/2006/11/28/have-a-holly-jolly-heidi-klum-christmas/565. Um, O......KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY........................

Mystery Athlete

When wondering whether the Twins might want to make a play for Pat Burrell, I ran across this guy's name as a player comparable to Pat Burrell -- initials "PP" -- my immediate reaction was "oh my lord, I haven't heard his name for 10 years" but here he is. Bill James named him the player most likely to lead the majors in home runs during the decade of the 1990s...............................

Larry Bird Turns 50 -- A Tribute

Let me say this about Larry Bird (since it is his birthday). In my days of watching basketball, there has never been a player who came into the NBA and turned his team around immediately from sucky to great like Bird did. The 1979 Celts won 29 games and were 19th in team offense and team defense. The 1980 Celtics (with all the same guys plus Bird) were 61-21 and were 1st in offense and 5th in defense. That is really all you need to know. Duncan as a rookie had David Robinson in his late prime. Magic had Kareem with several more good years to go. Bird as a rookie had.............Cedric Maxwell, ooh, and Pete Maravich and Dave Cowens in the fading twilight of their careers. http://www.basketball-reference.com/teams/BOS/1980.html.

If you do not count ABA statistics for other players, Bird is in the top 42 in career points, rebounds and assists. He is joined in the top 42 of all three categories by Kareem and Karl Malone. That is it. Dr. J. qualifies if you throw in his ABA stats. The best all-around forward of present day(Kevin Garnett) can reach the top 42 in all 3 career lists if he gets roughly 1,300 more points and 1,300 more assists, meaning that Garnett would need to average 4 assists a game for his next 325 games (roughly 4.5 years assuming some injury time off).

Happy Birthday to a top 10 all-time player, the great Larry Bird.

NBA Scheduling Quirks

The NBA's Pacific Division squads have put up some surprisingly good records early on. However, all that glitters is not necessarily gold. Many of the squads out west have been playing a ton of home tilts, and they will all eventually have to even out their home and road games. The Lakers have played 8 more home games than road games, Phoenix 4, Clippers 5, Golden State 7. Sacramento has played only one more home game than road game, so (if they didn't have Eric Musselman as their coach) their fans would have reason to be optimistic. Teams who are due to cool off from their current pace: Lakers (-8, which means 8 more road games than home games left), GState (-7), Clips (-5), Suns (-4), Utah (-3). Teams who will be getting more home games soon: Indiana (+6), Philly (+5), Raptors, Chicago, Milwaukee, Orlando (all +4). And don't forget about Memphis, not only are they +4, but they will get Gasol back some time in January. Now, they will never get back the two AWFUL losses to the Knicks (money in the bank to all of their Western Conference rivals) but there is still some hope there.

This Week in Pop Culture

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/articles/_a/idol-mcphee-eyes-january-for-album/20061207070209990001. OK, what you want to do is click on the link and ignore the Kat McPhee story. In the lower right is a great list of 24 Pop Culture events that occurred this week in history. Eagles release "Hotel California," John Lennon shot, Teri Hatcher born. Great stuff.

Hitler's Car For Sale

http://money.aol.com/news/articles/_a/hitler-race-car-could-fetch-12-million/20061206064009990001?cid=2194 As always, this reminds me of a line from "The Simpsons": I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world: Doggie heaven...Bart: Is there a doggie hell? Homer: Well... Of course, there couldn't be a heaven if there weren't a hell. Bart: Who's in there? Homer: Oh, uh... Hitler's dog... and that dog Nixon had, what's his name, um, Chester... Lisa: [annoyed] Checkers.

R-Rated Anti-GWB Commentary

http://www.glumbert.com/media/roleplay. Forwarded to me by a conservative. Not fit for open-door work listening.

Eagles Win as Jeff Garcia Says "In Your Face"

In a completely unrelated item, I found this old article from 2004 that is humorous. http://www.outsports.com/nfl/2004/0207garciakonigsberg.htm Eagles move to 6 and 6.

Michigan Football Blog

http://mgoblog.blogspot.com/. If you want to read someone who is super pissed that the Wolverines will not be playing for the National Title -- click the link.....

The Search For Size

Washington head coach Marv Harshman (sp?) used to say, "You can't teach height" and "Small guys get tired and slow down; big guys don't shrink." Quotes of this type may help explain why the Minnesota Timberwolves and other clubs cannot find decent big men and carry 7-8 guards on their 12-man active list. So, in search of undiscovered gems, I went to hoopshype.com and found the following list of available free agents: http://www.hoopshype.com/free_agency.htm. No wonder Mike Olowokandi still has a job!!! Need a center, well, um, Zendon Hamilton (#2 on list) is still available. Ervin Johnson (#5) may have an age discrimination claim if you interview him and DON'T hire him! I think I'd start looking at NBDL star Marcus Douthit: http://aol.nba.com/dleague/playerfile/marcus_douthit/index.html?nav=page. I mean, 54%, 19 PPG and 11 RPG, almost 4 steals+blocks a night, 26 years old. Now he has a SLIGHT turnover problem (5.2 a night -- an absurdly high number for any player at any level of basketball), but ya take the good with the bad I guess. Alternatively the Wolves could give a second tour of duty to Paul Grant (still on the hoopshype list -- http://www.hoopshype.com/players/paul_grant.htm), if they can find him............

Some Weekend Thoughts

1) It was a Norm Snead weekend! Wake Forest wins the ACC football title and Wake Forest alum Norm Snead's awful 0.0 Qb rating in a 12-9 victory 30+ years ago kept Rex Grossman's 1.3 quarterback rating from being the worst winning QB rating of any winning QB. Brad "B.J." Johnson was at 10.3 for the Vikings.

2) I mean, tell the truth, if you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY had to win a football game or you would be executed -- wouldn't you pick Vince Young over Peyton Manning as your QB? Right? I mean, one always wins key games, the other always loses them. Right? Vince beat Peyton on Sunday. Is there a valid Robert Horry/Dominique Wilkins comparison to be made here?

3) Florida loses another basketball game. Billy's boys lose to FSU who was powered by Al Thornton's 28 points. I would have predicted no more than 5 losses by the Gators all year. They already have 2.

4) Greg Paulus played a good game for Duke. That is such a rare event that it deserves mention. It was interesting that Danny Ferry was at the game. Ferry was a disappointment as a freshman and going into Christmas break as a sophomore at Duke we fans were ready to lynch him and/or force Duke to revoke his scholarship. He came back from break and was just awesome and spent the next 2.5 years just lighting up the ACC. Could Paulus do the same? Could some super-hot chick hit on me at lunch? Anything is possible.

5) Jay Cutler??? Um, no. I will be interested to see if anyone calls for Jake Plummer's return. I was in the Detroit area in the early 1990s when the Lions dropped a game 41-0 to Washington. A radio caller called in to complain how much the Lions' QB sucked. The host's response, "Do you call for Andre Ware as the starter?" Caller -- "Oh God, no." I think that may be the reaction in Denver today. Hint for Cutler -- probably a good idea to actually set your feet while throwing.

6) Wolves win a Game -- They defeat Philly after being waxed by Denver at Target Center. At 7-9 the Wolves would lead the Atlantic Division, but they are headed for 35-47 and a lottery run in the West.

HM

Florida Selected to Play Ohio State

http://sports.aol.com/ncaafb/story/_a/gators-pass-michigan-for-bcs-title-spot/20061203201609990001. Well, thank GOODNESS that Florida won or the BCS people may have had to keep looking even further down the list to.........um, Boise State? What was extremely clear to me when USC leapfrogged Michigan was that the TV networks badly wanted something other than an Ohio State-Michigan rematch. In addition, say you are the BCS and Michigan wins against Ohio State in 4 OTs. Also assume that Florida drills USC by 50. NOW what are people bitching about? Ohio State says that their Michigan win was the better win. Florida says that they deserve the title over the other 1-loss teams because they had a better strength of schedule and a more impressive bowl win. In any event, I call upon the NCAA to reverse the clear inequity of the 1985 and 1988 NCAA Basketball Championship results. In each instance, the team allowed to claim itself as alleged "champion" (Villanova and Kansas) was a team from the same conference as the REAL winner (Georgetown and Oklahoma). Both faux champions had failed to win their conference titles and had failed to beat the REAL champion in previous key head-to-head encounters. In short, both Villanova and Kansas had "had their chance." Once the title game playoff came down to those choices, the NCAA should have intervened and awarded the forfeit to the true champion -- or at least appointed some more worthy opponent as the other finalist.

Give the Devil His Due

Kobe puts up 52 last night against the Jazz, 30 in the 3rd quarter. You play pretty good fiddle, Jerry Sloan, but give The Devil his due. By tossing in 30 in a quarter, The Devil (I believe) became the first player ever to do so twice (George Gervin (33), David Thompson (32) and Wilt (31) all did so once). Noted The Devil, "It felt pretty good. You know, like playing Playstation...." Say what you will about, for example, his decision to settle an allegation of rape by a young hotel employee and his telling Frank Hamblin basically to f-off, you can't deny that the guy can score and has numerous supporters....Cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolae_Carpathia