After Carter, We Needed Reagan -- After GWB, We Need This Guy

Going to Orlando for 6 days

If I don't post any more, Merry Christmas.

Enjoy:

Bill Simmons' Review of "The Wrestler"

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3773747


If you make sure that you read all of the way through until the end, you will see a very, very strong parallel to the words I used here , and a list entry of dead wrestlers that I included here.



Proof that great minds (and great writers) think alike, I guess.



HM

NBA Playoff Picture

No, this is not a typo, there is a Web site you can go to that will predict your NBA team's chance of making the playoffs at this point based upon the team's remaining schedule.

How shitty is the Western Conference? http://www.playoffstatus.com/nba/westernstandings.html Well, six of the 15 teams (8 make the playoffs) register at a 4% or less chance of making the playoffs. The Timberwolves with over 50 games left have a less than 1% chance of making the playoffs.

The Celtics have a 57% chance of winning the East and a 99% chance of finishing as a top 3 seed. LeBron has a 90% chance of finishing in the top 3. Only 1 team in the East (Washington) has a less than 8% chance of making the playoffs http://www.playoffstatus.com/nba/easternstandings.html

Oh and for football fans -- they will give you your percentages as well (Vikes 70% chance of finishing with the #3 seed and a 30% chance of being shut out of the playoffs altogether).

HM

Coleman Grasping at Anything -- Running Out of Challenges

Depicted: Norm appearing before the Minnesota Supreme Court yet again today. There is no sound, but I am told that he is yelling, "I already won! Hey, everybody! I already made it up to dry land. I already grabbed that vine and pulled myself up. I am, in no way, ever going to drown. What is WRONG with you people???"

Bears Poker Analogy...Continued

Recall that the Vikes are holding: Queen of hearts and one other queen

Bears are holding: 9-5 unsuited, no hearts



Flop -- 7H, 3H, 2H



Last night comes the turn -- ooh, it is a red 4, could it be the 4 of hearts!?!? Turn it over, please, Mr. Dealer Mason Crosby!!



Turn is the -- 4..........of diamonds.



So now Bears hold 2-3-4-5-7-9 and can win with a non-heart Ace or 6.


Vikes just need to see heart -- any heart at all. Again, I don't forsee that, so it will probably all come down to whether the Bears can finish their playoff suck out against Houston.




JSH

Franken Up About 48 Votes

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/12/franken-maintains-48-vote-lead.html

I had thought that Normie won this 5-6 times already -- I mean, that is what he says, right?

Perhaps if Norm wins all his remaining legal challenges he can force a coin flip. That would be both immensely stupid and ridiculously cool at the same time.

What Ya See Is What Ya Get

After Peter spent the family's train ticket money on shower curtain rings allegedly filled with helium:

Vikings and Bears Hoping To Reach "The Final Table"

Neither deserves to get there (as is also true with Denver and San Diego), but someone will make it.

With 3 cards on the board in a Texas Hold'Em game,

Vikes hold a pair of Queens and 4 cards to a heart flush (as usual, Vikes are short one heart).
QH, QS, 7H, 3H, 2H


Bears hold 9 high with no winning flush draw: 9 - 7 - 5 - 3 -2
9S, 7H, 5C, 3H, 2H


All the Bears can do tonight is hope to earn some card that gives them some chance to win it on the river. (A non-heart 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, or Ace).

As someone who has watched the Vikes for 20 years, let me say that if the Bears win tonight (50-50% shot) then I think that the Vikes don't improve their hand next week. So all that would be left is for the Bears to beat Houston and win the game on the river.

2008 Humanitarian of the Year

Now that Mother Teresa has passed away, we move on to...........Shakira.

She does a lot for her fellow man, as is exhibited below.


[Shakira video deleted, sorry guys, but it auto-played every time I went to the site].

Here is a link to a different video: http://music.aol.com/video/whenever-wherever-shakira/shakira/1426074

Norm Coleman Continues to Predict Easy Win -- Franken Lead "Temporary Blip"

"Team Coleman" e-mail:

Friend,

Our lead recount counsel, Fritz Knaak, just did a live interview on Fox News. Click here to watch Fritz's recount rundown live from the State Capitol. [link disabled]

The recount is still making steady progress in moving towards completion, and this has been a busy week for us here on the Coleman Recount Team. Fritz does a great job of cutting through a lot of the speculation and rumor-milling we are seeing in some of the news these days and giving an accurate assessment of where things really stand.

You may have noticed that according to news reports today, Franken has taken the lead. This is only a temporary blip due to the timing of the recount process at the state canvassing board.

Because of the timing of when we put in our challenges, the board is treating the Coleman withdrawn challenges on a different timetable from most of Franken's withdrawn challenges. Rather than taking the withdrawn challenges and allocating them behind closed doors and attributing them to the way the ballot was called by the election judge, the board is allocating our withdrawn challenges in this public setting.

The withdrawn Franken challenges - which will result in a surge of our numbers - will be done in the next week behind closed doors. So, for example during yesterday's proceedings alone, the board allocated 244 of our withdrawn challenges this resulted in 223 votes going to Franken and 23 to other or 3rd party. It's important to note that this is really nothing more than watching results come in on election night where you see shifts for one candidate or the other based on which areas have reported their results and which haven't.

So while the media will write what they will write to draw attention to their stories, just like on election night, what matters most is who is ahead when this is all said and done.

And we remain confident that at the end of this process, we will be sending a re-elected Senator Norm Coleman off to the U.S. Senate to continue working hard and getting things done for Minnesota.

Thanks,


Team Coleman

"Gone Country" -- How Have I Missed THIS Show!?!?

Per Wikipedia, two seasons already in the books and one more to start in January of 2009.

Look at these contestant names!!!! If this isn't scraping the bottom of the barrel, I don't know what is.

Sisqo?
Jermaine Jackson?
Chris Kirkpatrick?
Sean YOUNG!!!!! (perhaps she should start going with Sean OLD)?
Lorenzo Lamas?

And I know that no one can croon a good country offering like...........Richard Greico????? Whoa.

I put Guarini in as a heavy favorite, unless Miss USA drinks heavily and kisses other girls on the show (as is her wont).

The Casts for the three seasons:
Season 1 Contestants
Bobby Brown - an R&B star of the late 1980s and early 90's, member of boy band New Edition.[3]
Maureen McCormick - best known from her role as Marcia Brady from the hit television show The Brady Bunch.[4]
Diana DeGarmo - American Idol season 3 runner-up and a Broadway actress[5]
Julio Iglesias, Jr. - son of singer Julio Iglesias, and a soulful dance-pop singer.(Winner of Gone Country) [6]
Sisqó - Member of the R&B group Dru Hill. He is most widely known for his solo hit, the "Thong Song."[7]
Dee Snider - lead singer of the 80's metal band Twisted Sister.[8]
Carnie Wilson - daughter of Beach Boys front man Brian Wilson, Carnie Wilson was also a member of the pop band Wilson Phillips.[9]

[edit] Season 2 Contestants
Jermaine Jackson - a member of The Jackson 5 alongside brothers Michael, Marlon, Tito and Jackie.[10]
Chris Kirkpatrick - member of the boy band *NSYNC.[11]
Sean Young - Appeared in movies such as Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Fatal Instinct, Wall Street, No Way Out and Blade Runner.[12]
Mikalah Gordon - American Idol season 4 finalist[13]
Sebastian Bach - Former lead singer of Skid Row. (Winner)[14]
Lorenzo Lamas - played "Tom Chisum" in Grease and starred on Falcon Crest, Renegade and The Bold and the Beautiful.[14]
Irene Cara - played "Coco Hernandez" in the movie Fame in 1980 and also is best known for the theme songs for both "Fame" and Flashdance.[15] Left the show in episode 2 after Sean Young's drunken actions during the night.

[edit] Season 3 contestants
Tara Conner - Miss USA 2006[16]
Micky Dolenz - former Monkees drummer[16]
George Clinton - funk master[16]
Richard Grieco - 21 Jump Street actor[16]
Taylor Dayne - '80s pop star[16]
Sheila E - Prince protégé and drummer[16]
Justin Guarini - American Idol season 1 runner-up[16]

Friday Before Christmas -- Hangin' With "The With"

In my tradition of dusting off old stories from the 1980s (which I know K and TEG can't stand -- so you guys, stop reading now), I offer up one that occurred on a Friday before Christmas break related to my days at (current football power) SUNY at Buffalo.

Growing up I made a friend in junior high school named Craig. He had a white guy afro and featured himself to be an athlete. He was the kind of guy who hit left-handed in gym class softball to show everyone he could be a "high end switch hitter" in baseball (which he never tried out for), regularly grounding out by a step to girls playing 2nd base in gym class (then arguing the gym teacher's call each time). Anyway, his last name started with "With" so we all took to calling him "The With" (or when we were pissed at him, "El Con" which was the literal Spanish wording for "The With"). He also shared his white guy afro look with a Napoleon Dynamite looking guy, last name Buck, so we would sometimes go with "Buck El Con".

Describing The With? Um, scrappy little annoying guy with a Napoleon complex. Absolutely loved himself. Had the biggest crush on what had to be the biggest white trash girl of all time (who was The With's neighbor). I would say, "With -- man (PM would say "dude" today, we said man) -- how can you possibly like her? She is so sleazy." With, "Look at those jugs, and she wears button down shirts!" When his attempts with the sister (our age) failed, he moved on to the 1 year younger sister, who was similarly built -- marginally better success.

ANYway.....after high school The With and I basically parted ways, but I found that he was going to the rival school to SUNY Buffalo -- Buffalo State. Now frankly, that was a pretty good move if you were a guy. SUNY is an engineering-heavy school, Buff State is a teacher's college. Many more dating oppotunities at Buff State.

So I tracked down The With and he said, "Man, come over here on the Friday before Christmas break. Bring your friends. Man, there are chicks everywhere at the bars over here!" Well, OK. I had a final Friday afternoon and all my friends were still in town, so we went to Buff State to hit their bars (and the nearby Mighty Taco restaurant -- hottest taco sauce of all time).

Now we get there and with is hanging with his roomie who is about 5'4" and 200 pounds, all flab. Guy is smoking weed and starts to lecture us on the various levels of importance of Jewish holidays (Hanukkah -- very low; Rosh Hoshannah - high). So that was bizarre enough. Then With took a hit and offered us SUNY guys some, we all passed and said, basically, "Uh, With? Where the women at?"

So we go to three different Buff State bars. We drank a great deal and had fun, but I have to say that the ratio of guys to girls was still about 2-1. But whatever, we were having fun. With is just wrecked. He says, finally, "Guys, I am so sorry. I love all you guys so much and I want to get you some chicks. Let's try this one last bar." (The words sounded more like this: "guysss, uh SSOOO surry. I nuv you guyss ssoooooo mush and uh wanna fin ya suh CH-iss. Es try....wuh mo-bah.")

Why he loved me was a matter of some concern/issue, but not as much as why he suddenly loved my 3 friends I was with whom he had never met. But at least he wants to find us ch-iss, so we went to the last bar. Now this was a meat market. Every desperate guy and girl at midnight on the Friday before Christmas break was at this place. So there was a lot of dancing going on.

Around 1:30 The With started dancing with this red-haired girl who may have been a very nice pleasant girl, but..........The With was about 5'6" and 145, she was about 5'9" and 195. But late night love knows no size limitations, so With was John Travlota-ing like mad. Now me and the SUNY guys just were enjoying this too much. With's stoned roomie says, "Wow. Look at Craig. Woo-hoo! Go Craig!" Having been to high school with the guy, I felt I owed him more than this level of "support" so I went up to him after a dance where he was slow dancing and grinding this girl and trading spit on the dance floor and said, "Come on With. Me and the guys are gonna go home now. I think you oughta come."

The With, "What are you, a fag? Can't ya see what I got going here?"
Yes, With, I do, and I suggest that you get her phone number and come back to your dorm with us instead.
"Sheesh so HAAAAAHT! How kin you try to duh-ny me, ya, ya, fag?"
So With, you want us to leave without you?
"Whadda YOU think?"

OK.

Now I was so drunk that my roommate made me let him drive home, but I knew that The With was headed for disaster. The stoned roomie walked us back to our car and even he said, "Ya, know, that chick wasn't really that hot, was she?"

Anyway, we made it back to UB and some time later I get a call from The With -- "Man, I can't believe you guys did that to me. My roommate locked me out of the room and I slept with the girl anyway, somewhere, and it has been two weeks and I can't get rid of her." With, I tried. "Not hard enough." So what ya gonna do with the girl? "No idea, but she keeps calling me all of the time."

Merry Christmas, With. Wherever you are.

Top Baby Names from 2008

I will recite the article in italics, with my comments in bold:


The top boy's name for the year remained

Aiden -- yeeeesh, no thanks -- HM rating -- 25 out of 100

Jayden -- 30 as a boy's name, I would say 75 for a girl

Ethan -- old sounding, but OK -- 60

and Jacob -- I like Jake, but Jacob is old -- 67

with classic names like Matthew -- 85

Jack -- 82, my wife wanted PM's name to be Jack, but for those who know how people mispronounce my last name........the kid's life would be hell...

Michael -- 98 -- anything you can tag to "Jordan" is pretty solid

Alexander -- yes, but I don't care for Alex -- 87,

Daniel -- traveling tonight on a plane, I can see the red tail lights, headin' for Spain -- 84

William -- 88

all featuring in a list of the top 50 most popular names.

The list, compiled from thousands of baby name entries on the specialist baby website Babycenter.com, found that

Emma -- good -- 90

replaced Sophia -- my niece's name, a pretty girl's name -- 93

as the top girl's name followed by

Isabella -- Queen who helped out Columbus, I guess, but not loving this -- 50

and Olivia -- not horrible, not great -- 70

with Sarah -- as long as you leave the H on, I can accept it -- 82

Elizabeth -- pretty name, gives the girl many nickname options -- 97

and Anna -- her kindness bangs a gong, it's moving me along, and Anna Begins...to grow on me as a name -- 82

also popular.

(Note -- the following portion of the article is silly -- no one names a kid "Madison" after James Madison -- the name comes from the movie Splash http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splash_(film)#Impact_on_popular_culture )

With the United States consumed by politics all year, presidential names also made a return, such as

Madison -- OK, though I don't care for "Maddy" -- 77

Taylor -- gotta say, this is solid -- 94

Kennedy -- girl in our neighborhood is named Kennedy -- nice girl, not loving the name -- 71

for girls

and Jackson -- I actually prefer this to "Jack" but it also was off the list for my family -- 90

and Tyler -- can't complain -- 85

for boys.

Sammy Baugh -- Dead At 94

http://www.startribune.com/sports/vikings/36351034.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aULPQL7PQLanchO7DiUss

For the sport of football, this is akin to Wilt Chamberlain or Babe Ruth dying. Baugh was in the first class of football players ever inducted into Canton. He was the guy most responsible for popularizing the forward pass and he also (oh by the way) had 31 career interceptions and once averaged 51 yards a punt for an entire season.

Noted John McCain, "I can recall taking my first wife to see Baugh play in college at TCU."


HM

Greg White Changes His Name to Honor "Teen Wolf"

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/sports/football/FANHO-Teen-Wolf-Fan-Greg-White-Changes-Name-to-Stylez-G.html

If you ask me, it is a transparent effort to get his lady to change her name to "Boof" so he can....well...never mind.

In basketball-related news, I have found some footage of LeBron against the Timberwolves last night (wearing #42 for some reason). I suggest that LBJ shave a little more, but otherwise his game looks solid. Wally (#55) is never going to hold on to his hot wife if he can't get in a little better shape!!

Little Victories

I have won a number of cases in my legal career. I have settled cases and won cases for total recoveries over my career of millions of dollars (maybe hundreds of millions if you want to count my days doing bank and insurance work -- which I prefer to forget).

Anyway, these victories are nice, but what are the victories that make me the happiest? "Wins" like I got today.

I got hired by an existing client to do a conciliation ("small claims") court matter. It is scheduled for my vacation time in late December -- so I call the person at the plaintiff who signed the Complaint and brought the case. "Hey, I am on vacation in Florida then, would you just agree to a postponement?" Of course it is a woman. Now I know that there is probably some sociological reason for this, but 99% of guys would bitch for 30 seconds and then say "OK, sure, no problem." Women? About 35% would say/do that and 65% would say what this nice lady said. To-wit: "Your client hasn't paid us since April 2006 and now you want ANOTHER postponement of me getting my money!?!?" (note the pronoun shift there) "I work for a living and it is hard for me to get time off and I have other cases I am collecting on that day."

HM -- So is that a "No"?

Kind Woman -- "What do you think?"

HM -- I would say that is a no.

Kind Woman -- "I guess you figured that one out."

Go I to the frigging court Web site -- I get one free delay so long as I can give any reason and am more than 5 days out from the scheduled hearing.

I wrote up the letter and walked it to the court myself. Stood there while they granted the continuance and got my piece of paper showing I won against that...........kind woman.

The thoughts and words racing through my head as I returned with my win were not healthy or appropriate, but let's just say I didn't mind sending out the letter advising my friend that she had lost and I had won.


The Very Vindictive
HM

December 17 in Minnesota

As I have said before, I hate December in Minnesota because 1) it is so cold, but more importantly, 2) it is so damn dark.

Today the sun rose at 7:46 a.m. and will set at 4:32 p.m. That means less than 9 hours of sunlight.

But in a way, this week marked a turnabout of sorts. The sunset has already reached its earliest point (4:31 PM) and now the end of the day gets to get slightly brighter. By December 21 the total daylight will actually start to increase by a few seconds a day and by January 7, both sunrise and sunset (can't stop thinking of Zero Mostel) will move toward the good.

The point here being, I guess, that December 17 provides a smidgen of hope for us up here on the desolate wasteland that is Minnesota in the winter.

That said, we could see as much as 10 inches of snow this week if things break bad (ala Bryan Cranston) for us. Hopefully we won't see a return of 1995-96 where I blew out my back shoveling snow in 40 below wind chill and carrying my 18 month old to and from Timberwolves games.

Jane Fonda Unloads With "See You Next Tuesday"

http://television.aol.com/tvtop5/four-letter-fonda-today/2070377/AWARDS

Let me defend Hanoi Jane here. We have a breakdown in the U.S. of A. about people who are offended by "Vagina" and/or "cunt" roughly as follows:

Not Offended by use of either on TV -- 40%
Offended by use of both V and C on TV -- 40%
Offended only by use of C by anyone -- 10%
Offended only by use of C when it is used by a man -- 9%
Offended by use of V only because it isn't plain talkin' -- 1%


So Jane's appearance to discuss The Vagina Monologues already offended 41% of the population. Her use of C only offended an additional 10%. And those people probably hate Jane Fonda anyway.

HM

Kings Fire Reggie Theus -- Soon to Hire Dick Butkus?

Stealing from K's "Hang Time" love today, I have to say that now that the Kings are rid of old Deering High coach Bill Fuller, don't they have an obligation to fans of Saturday morning TV to turn to Coach Mike Katowinski (Butkus)?


28 voters on "Jump the Shark" stated that "Hang Time" jumped the shark when Reggie Theus departed: http://www.jumptheshark.com/topic/Hang-Time/Hang-Time-General-Comments/849

One commenter noted that Butkus wasn't a good character because he yelled at his guys -- something Theus would have never done.

Funny note on Theus firing -- they also fired assistant............Chuck Person. "Theus, you are gone....and why in the HELL did you hire Chuck Person to assist you!?!? What about his playing career led you to believe he could coach?"

The Kings turn to 50 year old Kenny Natt, once described as a "teammate of Reggie Theus." Um, OK. They appeared together for 4 games in 1984-85: http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/n/nattke01.html

Maybe his work for the Cape Breton Breakers got him the job? http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Kenny-Natt Or it could have been the fact that he was a low-level assistant for Mike Brown and Jerry Sloan? His brother is the great Calvin Natt (for those who never saw Calvin Natt play, he was damn good -- 17/7/2 in the regular season and 18/7/2 in the playoffs).

George Bush -- Agile

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=11107285&ch=4226716&src=news

The first shoe throw was a good one; hard to believe GWB moved so quickly. The second one was too high.

Coaching Note: When you are throwing shoes at a person who is not on a pogo stick or otherwise being mechanically raised up at that exact time (for example, a performer coming up from underneath the stage at a concert), you don't want to miss too high. Unless the guy inexplicably jumps up in the air when he sees the shoe coming, there is no way you hit him. Missing right or left, at least there is a chance he will react incorrectly one way or the other and run into the shoe. The better choice, of course, is to go for the body shot (which is also the better choice when at a warm weather bar with hot chicks).

Good luck finding a judge or juror in Iraq willing to convict a guy for assaulting GWB. They might do so only upon learning that no damage was done by the attack.

When I was at my first ever law firm, a bankruptcy department partner (white guy, not Middle Eastern) used to take off his shoe and pound it on the wall to get the neighboring associate to come to his office for a work assignment. If the partner was not at the time sitting by the correct wall, he would take off his shoe and throw it at the correct wall. I didn't need to know anything about Middle Eastern culture to know that this was an obvious sign of disrespect.

HM

Brad Childress -- Coach of the Year? Future Champion?

I heard on the radio several times today how the Vikings are almost an identical team to the 2007-08 Giants and how they are on their way to an almost certain Super Bowl victory.

Since we know this is true, then where are the calls for Chilly/B-Chill/B-Chilliwack to be declared NFL Coach of the Year? Here is a man who took a team with no QB and virtually no talent to an almost-inevitable Super Bowl victory, and yet we hear no clamor for his COY award.

Come on Al S.!! Get out there and promote the hell out of Major Dad.

Can a head coaching job for Darrell Bevell be far off?


HM

Review of Judge Magnuson's NFL Decision

Judge Magnuson's Decision: http://assets.espn.go.com/media/pdf/081211/nfl.pdf



As a plaintiff's attorney, I just wish that federal judges were as willing to grant injunctions to my franchise and dealer clients as Judge Magnuson was willing to grant an injunction to players who had already arbitrated their dispute and lost at arbitration.



A few observations:



1) Judge Magnuson basically concedes that the Williamses own claim is baseless. All of their state law claims are barred by federal labor law, so he will consider them as a labor law claim.............and he concludes that they aren't good labor law claims either....



but



2) The Williamses may in the future decide to bring Minnesota state statutory claims stating that they cannot be suspended from work for taking legal drugs and Magnuson believes that these state law claims may not be pre-empted by federal labor law.



If this is true, imagine the impact of this ruling on profession leagues' drug policies!



I am in Texas and I think my squad needs better players. I pass a law stating that if you want to do business in my state you may never suspend a guy for taking a drug prescribed by a doctor. Then all my linemen (ala the WWE performers) will all rush out and get steroid prescriptions to help them with "injuries." My guys are roided up and ready to go and the NFL can, frankly, suck it.





3) Magnuson addresses the NFLPA's best argument first -- that the lawyer for the NFL who served as the arbitrator was biased. Magnuson ignores the argument that he was specifically requested by the players (which I find odd) but the Judge does point out a key fact:



at the arbitration hearing, the players asked if the arbitrator had been contacted about the StarCaps issue -- the witness refused to answer and the arbitrator upheld the objection.



That is awfully scummy. So the witness may have asked his lawyer what he should do, the lawyer advised him not to tell the players anything about StarCaps.........and then the lawyer as the arbitrator says, "Yeah, we made the right choice." Ewww, doesn't smell good.





4) Magnuson rules that the arbitrator made a well-reasoned opinion consistent with the collective bargaining agreement, but then he finds that the opinion may be challenged because the NFL employees breached their "fiduciary duties" to the players.



This is a terrible, terrible decision and one that he didn't need to make. When people have contractual duties to one another, these are generally NOT fiduciary in nature. The claim by the players was basically "breach of contract." The arbitrator ruled "no breach of contract" and then the court says "good ruling, but the breach of contract was also a breach of fiduciary duty." Whoa!



So.........suppose I am the mayor of a town and promise to paint your house for $400 and don't do a good job, and as a result your house is ugly and hurts the image of the town. You arbitrate with me and the arbitrator says, "No, HM did a good job." You can then go to court and say, "Yeah, but the award is void as against public policy, because now I have an ugly house and HM breached his fiduciary duty to me (as part of the town)."



This is a terrible decision, made worse by the fact that the Court says that the NFL never denied that it was a fiduciary. Um, the NFL said that it had NO duty to the players AT ALL and the arbitrator said that the NFL was correct. Judge Magnuson praised the thoughtful nature of the arbitration decision. How is that an admission of the NFL that it had a fiduciary duty?



Wow.



5) The biggest game changer for the NFL may be the belief that players need to be told each and every fact that the NFL knows, and if the NFL fails to tell them each and every banned drug and exactly what it has in it, then the NFL has not done its "fiduciary duty" for the players.



This is an enormous pardigm shift. Imagine the number of calls and letters and e-mails that the NFL will be flooded with. Imagine Troy Williamson e-mails and asks, "I want to take Catch the Ball For Once Tablets. Can I?" The league then has to get the tablets, test them, and respond to Williamson. He then can forward their responsive e-mail to every player in the league. If CTBFOT changes its formula the next week to include every known steroid including The Cream and The Clear, every player in the league can still take the tablets until the NFL specifically tells them they can't. And if you want to just specifically just take The Cream and The Clear and get caught? "Shit, I was just taking CTBFOT just like you told Troy Williamson he could."




The whole thing is an absolute mess. The biased arbitrator issue has some merit, but if the players union and the NFL want to avoid Congressional legislation on steroids (which would be necessary to pre-empt the state laws Williams and Williams now want to apply), they better try to negotiate some resolution of this dispute.



HM

Suns-Bobcats Trade -- Who Wins?

Suns Trade Raja Bell and Boris Diaw and Sean Singletary for Jason Richardson and Jared Dudley and a seond round pick.

JRich is due about $40MM over the next three years. Diaw is due about $30MM. Bell was basically Phoenix's Bruce Bowen (defend, hit the 3, do nothing else). Dudley, I think, has some upside as a bench player. Singletary is worth about a 2nd round pick.

Suns -- B -- they rid themselves of the cancerous Diaw who has basically stopped playing once he got his big contract, retreating almost to his Atlanta-level play. Richardson is the best player in the deal and they need a scorer at 2 guard to relieve some pressure off Nash and the two big fellas.

Bobcats -- D -- you are a shit team and you give up your #1 guy for..........two role players? Good role players, I grant you, but role players nonetheless. GM Rod Higgins' statement? "We need to get bigger." Uh, why? You have Okafor. You have the 400 pound Sean May. Hoopshype still shows you with Dwayne Jones and Nazr Mohammed. Bell doesn't make you bigger. So you did the deal so you could acquire $30MM worth of Boris Diaw?

MJ needs to resign quickly before he becomes the new Isiah/Elgin Baylor/Kevin McHale.


HM

Jennifer Aniston in GQ -- Gee Whiz!

http://www.popeater.com/movies/article/aniston-bares-all-literally-for-gq/274508?icid=200100397x1215146522x1200962071

She turns 40 on Feb. 11. I guess she is taking David Lee Roth's advice of "Better use it up before it gets old."

If you have always thought, "Jennifer Aniston? Meh." 1) you are a fool; and 2) you will change your tune after a run through of these pics.

As Diamond Dave also noted -- I told the fellas out behind the bar; so let me tell you honey just how fine you are.

New Blog Link

Since my second-recommended blogger Andy (aka Hugo Starburst) has disappeared from sight, I have removed his link for now and replaced it with The Big Picture which is a blog I stumbled across that resembles a cross between K's blog and my blog........if K and I were 27.

Enjoy.


HM

PM's Birthday

December 11 isn't exactly a hotbed of birthdays on Wikipedia:

Rita Moreno
Ron Carey (Levitt from Barney Miller)
Teri Garr
Nikki Sixx
Willie McGinest

Sam Cooke died on this day in 1964 -- my wedding first dance was "Stand By Me."

Indiana became a state on this date.

And we declared War on Germany and Italy after they declared war on us on this date in 1941.

And it is Pampanga Day in the Phillipines (kinda, I think it is a 10-day celebration).

But anyway, happy 13th birthday to the Playstation Maven who is now 5'10" and 130 pounds. His standing reach is now about 4 inches higher than mine, which is kind of embarrassing.

He is a good kid -- all A's and one A minus on his report card. So I hope he has a great birthday...except for the hell of basketball practice which I am going to run him through tonight.

Carmelo Ties NBA Record -- 33 In a Quarter -- During Defeat of Wolves

http://www.denverpost.com/mobile/ci_11190821

Having watched the game, let me tell you a couple items that most stories do not point out:

1) Anthony had 31 in the quarter with about 1 minute left when he let fly a 3 pointer that rattled in and out. He could have easily had 34 or 36 in the quarter.

2) The Wolves had the ball with about 28 second left on the game clock in the quarter. So they could basically hold for the last shot. Point guard Randy Foye, instead, decided to panic and toss the ball in to Al Jefferson with about 14 on the game clock. Jefferson was fouled and went to the line, allowing Anthony another possession where he scored on a difficult runner to get his 33.

So things could easily have gone either way for Melo -- 31 and no record (not even the Denver record, 32, held by David Thompson) or as many as 36, which would have probably stood for a long, long time since it is a pace of 144 points in a game.

HM

She Had Style, She Had Flair, She Was There. That's How She Became......The Senator!

http://www.startribune.com/politics/national/senate/35872899.html?elr=KArks8c7PaP3E77K_3c::D3aDhUxWoW_oD:EaDUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

She does have some qualifications -- she raised Madeline Zima on the show...........

Whuh!?!?

On "The Simpsons" whenever something surprises Moe he always gives us the exaggerated "Whuh!?!?" It actually sounds more like "Wha?"

Here are some NBA Individual Stat entries that made me go "Whuh?"

Three-Point Shooting Percentage:
Travis Outlaw #4 in the league
Yi Jianlian #17
Ryan Anderson #20


Double-Doubles (144 players this year have a double-double):
Paul Milsap #11 in the league
Greg Oden (has rarely played) #19 in the league -- 7 in 17 games
Kobe -- has 1. 1. Tied for #98 in the league with 46 guys, including Sean May


Rebounding
Andrew Bogut is #8 in the league in rebounding despite playing only 31 minutes a game.

Steals
Kenyon Martin is #11 in the league in steals and #21 in blocks!!!
Nene -- #22
Mike Bibby -- #24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a "wow" stat for you -- Utah's Ronnie Brewer gets 1.82 steals per every foul. Of players who have played 20 games, Brewer's next closest competitor is Jason Terry at 1.14 steals per every foul. Brewer is winning a positive category by roughly a 40% margin over his nearest competitor.

Assists
Stephen Jackson is the top #11 in the league -- not in strip bar related incidents (where he ranks #1) but in assists

Blocks
Bargnani is #18

Scoring
Ben Gordon (whom everyone has given up on) is #20 in the league in points per game

Turnovers Per 48 Minutes
Well, only crappy guys are going to turn it over very much. Guys like:
3. Dwyane Wade
2. Carmelo Anthony
1. Steve Nash


On the "no surprise" side of things -- #10 in TO per 48: Our friend from the last stat entry -- Louis Williams

HM

He Wasn't Much Good At Stickin' Around, But, That Guy Could Score

Less than 20 minutes a game, best overall rank in scoring

10. Chris Quinn -- #156 in the league in scoring, plays 19.1 minutes per game (Miami)

9. Matt Bonner -- #156 (tie) 17.7 minutes per game (Spurs)

8. Eddie House -- #155, 17.0 MPG (Celtics)

7. Ryan Anderson -- #153, 17.2 (Nets)

6. Brandon Bass -- #149, 18.3 (Mavs)

5. JaVale McGee -- #146, 18.3 (Wiz)

4. Brandan Wright -- #145, 17.0 (GState)

3. Craig Smith -- #140, 17.8 (Minnesota)

2. Andray Blatche -- #132, 18.5 (Wiz)

And their Hero:

1. Louis Williams -- #118, 17.6 MPG, 9 points and 9 shots per game, shooting an abysmal percentage both from the floor and from 3. The good thing for Louis is that the Sixers decided his shameless gunning ways were worth 5 years and $25MM over the off season, so I guess he really has little motivation to improve for 4 or 5 more years.

Derrick Rose -- How You Like THEM Apples?

http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/fullcourtpress/2008/12/rose-injured.html

This story makes absolutely no sense. OK. Let's start with the timing -- guy is like 19 years old. He works at night. Is he awake at 7 in the morning? No.

He gets up to get a water? Again, you wake up at 7AM (he was at the hospital by 8) and cut yourself up some food? And then eat the food and lay the knife in bed? And then go get your water and then, what? Jump into bed (not what he says, he says he rolled over in bed onto the knife)?

OK -- you ever cut yourself with a sharp object? I have. Grew up on a farm with a ton of sharp objects around. Cut several times. Did I EVER have anything close to 10 stitches? Nope. Most times you put a band-aid on it and you are fine. 10 stitches is a ton of stitches. Unless you were using an unbelievably sharp knife, you wouldn't even break the skin of your forearm. and if you did, it would be a flesh wound.

Wouldn't it have been better for Rose to say, "Irving Fryar excuse" and just leave it at that?

PROPOSED EXPERIMENT: Go home tonight and cut an apple with a decent-sized knife (not a giant butcher knife or a razor sharp filet knife -- use a steak knife or paring knife as any normal person would). And then randomly drop the knife on a bed. The knife will 99% of the time fall down flat on its own. After this happens 10 times, turn the knife up on its side. Now, plop down on the bed. See if when you sit on the bed the knife EVER stays upright.

Now, I predict that 100% of the time in our experiment that the knife will never be in a cutting position. But if it is -- ask yourself, "Could I ever imagine rolling over onto a knife so hard that it ripped me 10 stitches in the forearm?

Then ask yourself, "Where did Derrick Rose's lady friend go after she stabbed him?"

Larry Craig -- Still Guilty

Here is the text of the unreported opinion: http://www.mncourts.gov/opinions/coa/current/opa071949-1209.pdf


I find it difficult to believe, but the rumor is that Senator
Craig reportedly started singing this Barbra Streisand/Barry Gibb duet immediately after hearing of the lost appeal:


Shadows falling , baby , we stand alone

Out on the street anybody you meet got a heartache of their own

(it oughta be illegal)

Make it a crime to be lonely or sad

(it oughta be illegal)

You got a reason for livin

You battle on

with the love youre livin on

You gotta be mine

We take it away

Its gotta be night and say

Just a matter of time

And we got nothing to be guilty of

Our love will climb any mountain near or far

we are

And we never let it end

We are devotion

Ron Santo? Um, No.

Ron gets left out again as the Veteran's Committee (post-1942 players) elects no one.

Santo's career numbers are great for a catcher, mediocre for an outfielder: http://www.baseball-reference.com/friv/scomp.cgi?I=santoro01:Ron+Santo&st=career

Of course the issue would be, how good are the numbers for a 3rd baseman? Well, the problem with that analysis is that there are so few third basemen in the Hall. Guys who do get in (Brett, Boggs, Brooks Robinson) are generally regarded as some of the greatest players of all-time. Marginal 3rd base prospects for the HOF really need not apply.

Santo has diabetes, so I guess that for my daughter's sake I should root for his induction, but I have to say -- the first year he was up for the ballot he got almost no votes (indicating that the press who followed him at the time didn't think he was a good candidate). I think you have to give great weight to the opinions of those closer to the situation and less weight to people who want a guy in the HOF 30 years after he stopped playing.

Movie NEVER to Watch

I rented "Mr. Woodcock" with Seann William Scott and Billy Bob Thornton and Susan Sarandon.

It is arguably the worst comedy movie ever made. Thornton is a sadistic gym teacher in a small town who ruined Scott's childhood and who now dates Scott's mother -- Sarandon.

There is so much wrong with Mr. Woodcock the movie that I cannot even explain everything in less than 500 words, so I just leave you with this warning -- never watch it. If it is on TV, turn the channel. If someone rents it, go downstairs and do some exercises. It is horrible, horrible writing and directing and editing and acting.

Marginally better than "Elektra" and "Catwoman" but only because it is a comedy, so you might happen to see 20 seconds of funny entertainment if you are lucky enough to miss the surrounding 30 minutes of nothing.

2.1 out of 10 stars

Illinois Governor -- One Corrupt SOB

http://dig.abclocal.go.com/wls/documents/blago_complaint.pdf

The Affidavit of all of his wrongdoing is extremely long, so start around paragraph 100. That is where he starts talking about selling the Illinois Senate seat. He at one point indicates that Obama wants a specific candidate appointed but, all that "motherfucker Obama will offer" him is "appreciation." Rod's reply? "Fuck that."

What a corrupt piece of shit.

I did enjoy the one paragraph about him rehabilitating his image so in 2016 he could run.............for President of the United States!!!!

Visanthe Shiancoe -- Future In Porn?

http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2008/12/08/visanthe-shiancoe-not-upset-his-penis-was-on-tv-just-glad-there/

As one commenter on this story has already said, "What is Brad Childress looking at?????????" Yikes.

Did the blue blockage need to go down 2/3 of his thigh!! Wow.

HM

Kevin McHale Coaching Salary Negotiation

McHale: I want a bonus of $50,000.

Taylor: $50,000!!! My goodness, can I just pay you in Canadian dollars?

McHale: OK fine, just, if that’s a route you're interested in traveling down, it’s $50,000 American, it’d be $70,000 roughly Canadian.

Taylor: Damn, how am I gonna get $120,000????


(I apologize for this entry, but I just saw this old set of quotes from Dodgeball and had to use this one somehow.)

Letter From Glen Taylor Regarding Wittman Firing

Dear {HM}:

As a valued member of our Timberwolves family, I want to inform you of a decision that I reached regarding the future of our team.

Earlier this morning I relieved Randy Wittman of his coaching duties. I hold Randy in the highest personal regard but believe that a change was needed to get our team back on track.

To replace Randy on the bench, I have decided to name Kevin McHale as our new head coach. Kevin will relinquish his role in basketball operations so he can devote his full time and energy to his head coaching responsibilities.

No one knows this team better than Kevin and this new opportunity allows us our best chance to develop our young group of players.I know many fans have been frustrated at the pace of our rebuilding and our challenges in the win and loss column.

As a fan first and foremost, I share this frustration. But I also know that our young team is incredibly talented.

I continue to have high hopes for this group of players and believe that this coaching change is our best opportunity to accelerate the rebuilding process and make significant gains for the remainder of this season.

Know that I continue to be passionate about Timberwolves basketball and remain committed to building a franchise that we can all be proud of.

Thank you for your continued support and I look forward to seeing you at Target Center.

Regards,

[Glen Taylor Signature]

Timberwolves Career Coaching Records While Coaching Kevin Garnett

1. Kevin McHale -- 19-12 -- 61.3% winning percentage

2. Flip Saunders -- 443-326 -- 57.6% winning percentage

3. Dwane Casey -- 53-69 -- 43.8%

4. Bill Blair -- 6-14 -- 30% (coached KG for 20 games as a rookie)

5. Randy Wittman -- 12-30 -- 28.6%.


Side Note -- Doc Rivers career mark while coaching KG? 86-18. 82.7% winning percentage.

His record while NOT coaching KG? 273 and 312. 46.7% winning percentage.

Randy Wittman -- Fired

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3754151

I guess taking over a team that is 20-20 under Dwayne Casey and then going 12-30, 22-60 and 4-15 is probably enough to get you fired.

I also guess that a 26.6% winning percentage is not sufficient to keep you going as an NBA head coach.

Now Kevin McHale takes over. McHale is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE GM, but he is actually a pretty good coach. So........why doesn't he coach? Because he is unbelievably lazy and he hates to work. But forced into the job by his boss ("I ain't paying anyone more money to take over for Wittman") he is a good coach.

Why? He has a strong no-nonsense style with players. He isn't going to get fired, and he is their boss, so it is either pay well or get benched...forever.

And more importantly, he has a very strong coaching philosophy -- he believes in exploiting individual mismatches and in playing a very basic brand of slow down/post-up basketball.

In Randy Wittman's 143 game Reign of Error, you never knew exactly what he was trying to do on either end of the court. It may take McHale 4 or 5 games, but after that, you will know how the Wolves will play each and every game. They still may not win (he has acquired basically no talent) but at least you won't show up one night and have Kevin Ollie starting and then the next night he doesn't play at all.

HM

Grag Maddux -- Quitter

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3748249.

His mediocre 11-12 post-season mark aside, many of Maddux's accomplishments are simply breathtaking.

Let me give you examples:

Of pitchers who started their careers after World War I, he is #2 on the all-time wins list (trailing only Warren Spahn).

Since Spahn pitched games in 1942 (before going to war) Maddux is #1 in wins amongst any pitcher in the history of the game who started his career after World War II.

From 1988 through 2006, he never had one single year where his ERA was higher than the league's average ERA. Not one.

From 1992 to 1998, his highest season ERA was 2.70., second highest 2.36 and the other 5 years were 2.22 or below.

Players who started their careers after 1970 who are within 500 innings of Maddux's career total? One -- Roger Clemens.

Within 1,000 innings? 4 -- Clemens, Glavine, Tanana, Randy Johnson.

Most Gold Gloves by any player -- Greg Maddux: 18.

Of pitchers who started their careers after 1970, his 3.16 ERA ranks him behind only these starters: J.R. Richard, Roy Oswalt, Johan Santana, Pedro Martinez. (To show you how the game has changed -- Maddux ranks #229 overall in ERA, but that does include about 40 relief pitchers).

He was also twice the youngest player in his league and once the oldest player in his league.

And as we know, the Cubs didn't need him.

I guess that he has earned the right to quit.

My Conclusion -- Enjoy Delay While It Lasts, Cuz These Guys Are Getting Suspended

The judge says is that he hasn't got time to read the stuff before Sunday, so he is gonna give an injunction so they can play on Sunday.

I initially thought that the biased arbitrator issue was a pretty good argument. Then I read the NFL's brief which says that the individual players' attorney REQUESTED THAT GUY AS AN ARBITRATOR!!!! I guess that is probably a waiver, say, 100% of the time.

I think the Court's power is extremely limited here, and if you toss out the "biased arbitrator" issue then all you have left is "breach of fiduciary duty" which is a 10-90% proposition at the arbitration and a 0.0000000000000001% winner when asking the court to vacate the arbitration.

These guys are gonna get suspended either when Judge Magnuson decides that he can't delay it any more or when the 8th Circuit reverses any injunction that may issue.
HM

Judge Magnuson -- Williams and Willaims Can Play Sunday

I am Just Glad Jim Braxton Didn't Have to Be Around to See This

Today's Lesson: "Kill your wife and you will go to jail.........14 years later."

http://news.aol.com/article/oj-simpson-sentenced-to-prison/266018?icid=200100397x1214309148x1200961214


From Bills fullback Jim Braxton's Wikipedia entry:

Jim Braxton died on July 28, 1986 due to cancer, at the age of 37.
O.J. Simpson offered these goodbye words to Braxton: "I've lost a teammate; I've lost a dear friend. Bubby was my protector on the field, my companion off it. What he meant to my career is impossible to calculate, but I know many of the things I achieved wouldn't have been possible without him."

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Braxton"

HM -- Dead

I don't think this is me: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/05/us/05hm.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss

But I guess I wouldn't remember if it were...........

RIP Paul Benedict -- Mr. Bentley From "The Jeffersons"

Played an Englishman -- born in...............Silver City, Nevada:

Rumor -- Randy Wittman to Be Fired

Sources close to this Blog have provided me with some third-hand information that Randy Wittman will be fired when the Wolves return from their road trip.

This rumor would confirm "Witt"'s status as one of 4 NBA coaches "on the hot seat": http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/pgStory?contentId=8882792&MSNHPHMA#sport=NBA&photo=8883062

I don't think it is any secret that I have a very low opinion of Wittman as a head coach. But the writing has been on the wall for some time for Witt:

1) When Kevin McHale announced that this year's Wolves would go 40-42, Wittman immediately replied (pre-season) basically, "Oh good lord, no. No way we win nearly that many games."

2) Wittman has always had a ridiculous war of wills with Randy Foye. Hey look. If your alternative is Sebastian Telfair and Kevin Ollie, you play Randy Foye. And you get along.

3) Wittman has never demonstrated either an offensive or defensive philosophy.

4) Kevin McHale just absolutely LOVES Kevin Love. Wittman plays him about 18 minutes a night. He does this so he can get more clock out of.........................Ryan Gomes? Um, Jason Collins? Er, I mean, really. It is hard to understand what players need to play more so Love (the 5th pick in the draft) plays less.

Fighting with Foye and making fans inquire (ala Ann Wilson) "What About Love?" is basically a huge "fuck you" to McHale. Probably best not to do this to your boss.


Last night the Wolves were facing Orlando. You know, Dwight Howard's team. Guy is like 6'11" and 275 pounds of sinew and muscle? Wittman sits his only moderately qualified center (Jason Collins) and has Howard guarded by...............Al Jefferson. Three fouls later, Jefferson is out of the game for the half.

This is just per se coaching malpractice. Witt's reason for his decision? "I didn't want Al having to guard Rashard Lewis out on the perimeter." So dunks and layups against you and immediate foul trouble for your star? Yes. Having a guy jack up bad threes against you all night? No.

The Wolves could have canned him last night and sent him back on AirTran for $129 plus tax. I would have preferred that.

Williams Case Update

1. The state court action was moved to federal court this morning, not on diversity grounds, but instead on the basis that the action was removable as raising a "federal question" under 28 U.S.C. Section 1441. The theory is that the matter is governed by federal labor statutes and cannot be filed in state court. They cite a couple cases involving sports teams, so I assume they must have some valid authority here.

2. The NFLPA filed a MUCH better set of injunction papers along with a Complaint in federal court today arguing that the NFL owed a fiduciary duty to disclose what it knew to the players (which I don't think is a great argument) but adding that the arbitration award should be vacated entirely because it was issued by the NFL's chief legal officer -- a guy who was involved in the non-disclosure and who said in his decision "me and my people did nothing wrong."

I think that the argument that the arbitrator was too biased to make the decision is the better argument.

To win the "fiduciary duty" argument, the players would need to prove that a) there was such a duty, b) it was breached, c) that breach was extremely obvious, d) the arbitrator knew the law was clear that he needed to find a breach of duty, and e) despite knowing that the law and facts were so one-sided, the arbitrator went the other way (basically out of spite or just to screw the players). Being wrong about the facts or the law is not generally proper grounds to overturn an arbitrator award, particularly where no statutory claim is involved.


HM

Rodney Rogers -- Paralyzed in ATV Accident

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3744237

Not a good break for a 37 year old man.

It sounds like Rodney has done a good job of staying productive after basketball. I hope that continues.

NFL's Response to Initial Loss

The NFL issued a statement Wednesday stating the lawsuit held no merit and the league will seek to have the order reversed.


"The NFL Policy on Steroids and Related Substances is a collectively bargained program between the league and the NFL Players Association," said league spokesman Greg Aiello. "The program and the Collective Bargaining Agreement expressly bar precisely this kind of lawsuit. All of the steroid program's rules and procedures are established in agreement with the players' union. In other words, the players have agreed to the rules and the procedures that they are now challenging."


Larson said he would make himself available to reconsider the issue "as quickly as you'd like me to hear it." He also said he expected lawyers for the NFL, who participated in the hearing by phone, would take the issue to federal court in Minneapolis to get the suspensions reinstated.

A Copy of the Legal Papers of Kevin Williams and Pat Williams

First -- this case is going to be removed to federal court. It may already have been removed. There is complete diversity of citizenship between the parties and the claim is for over $75,000. Judge Larson will lose all control over this case in the next few hours.

But here are the state court papers (filed late in the day, no doubt, to avoid removal to federal court today).

http://espn.go.com/media/pdf/081203/williams_suit3.pdf

Given the enormity of the proceedings, to call these papers "skimpy" is kind. But they were enough to get a late day temporary restraining order from the state court judge (Gary Larson, generally regarded as a good judge).

The giant gaping hole in the case, of course, is the difficulty in establishing "likelihood of success on the merits." Notice that the Memorandum of Law contains about half a page and no case citations on why the Williamses should/will prevail. It just basically says "hey, like we said in general, they screwed us and we did nothing wrong, so we will eventually win."

A review of the pleadings reveals a few interesting points/arguments:

1) That the NFL and its employees owe a "fiduciary duty" to the players of the NFLPA. If you are a "fiduciary" you owe the person at issue a duty to protect their interests over and above any interests you may have. If the NFL and the people who run its anti-doping program are "fiduciaries" to individual NFL players, then the program is over. A fiduciary would have a duty to tell you when you would be drug tested and the problems with the test and how you could beat the test. There would be no "random" drug testing because a fiduciary would owe you a duty to schedule the test on the date you thought you would most likely be clean.

The worst thing about this "fiduciary" claim is that will completely collapse when it is pointed out that the relationship between the players and the NFL is governed by a contract -- the collective bargaining agreement ("CBA") between the NFL and the NFLPA (who represents the players). I find it difficult to imagine that the Williamses' lawyers could not find SOME provision of the CBA that arguably provided some support for their position.

Here is the FAR better argument: we have a contract, the contract requires the NFL to do __________X, part of doing X is to act in good faith and give the players full and accurate information. They didn't. They breached their contract.

There is none of that in these pleadings. Is the CBA so AWFUL for the players that they dare not even speak its name? Or is the contract claim going to be raised in the federal action that the NFLPA says it will now file in Minneapolis?

2) There are a few stray references to how the players know that the NFL call-in hotline for banned supplements is worthless. I think that this means that the NFL is going to argue, "Hey, if you called the hotline and said you wanted to take StarCaps, we would have told you no."

There really is no other reason to put that "worthless" reference in the pleadings except to rebut a future argument.

3) The Williamses desperately want to play in the Pro Bowl. Hey, no one wants to play in the Pro Bowl. That will be proved quickly once the Pro Bowl teams are named.

4) They have really worked hard to find a supposed league motivation for the suspensions. They assert that the NFL wants to show the public that it is cracking down on steroid cheats, so it basically set a trap for these unwary "pillars of the community" so the NFL could pretend that it cracks down on steroid cheats by telling the public that the league caught a bunch of guys.

Whoa. That is really going a long way around the barn (I assume this claim is made because the plaintiffs will need to prove "bad faith" conduct by the NFL).

The NFL's true interest, of course, is to have no one test positive so it can say its league is completely clean. Ask Vince McMahon circa 1988 what his motivation in running a testing program was.

Why didn't the NFL assume a duty to tell every single player what was in StarCaps? Two reasons -- a) if they say "hey, product A has _______ in it" then you will have guys saying "OK, you didn't warn about product B." and b) if you tell players "product A has been found to have crap in it" the NFL fears that all of the players would say "Ya know, I took product A before you told me that. I guess that is why I can't get it out of my system during these roid tests."


5) The most senior attorney of plaintiffs' Minnesota lawyers???? Mr. Pat Williams.


This case does serve as a textbook example of how to ambush a defendant and get a state court TRO before they can remove to federal court. The advantage of this tactic? The state court order once entered becomes binding upon the parties, even after the case is removed to federal court (see here for a summary of TRO practice and the difference between a TRO and a temporary injunction). The NFL will now have to move to dissolve the TRO and the federal judge may give some slight weight to the Order granted by his fellow state resident (especially if he knows that state court judge).

Conclusion -- procedurally brilliant, but the case has so many substantive holes that the named Plaintiffs could walk through them in full pads side by side. If the Williamses can't make some stronger substantive arguments (complete with, say, two or (egad) three case citations) all they are doing is postponing the inevitable.

HM

Man "Accidentally" Shoots Wife During Sex

http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/strange/offbeat_wdtn_ohio_man_says_he_shot_wife_during_sex_2008120211592113498

When asked by the police what item he was reaching for on the night stand, the man replied, "The .38 caliber revolver....I mean......some baby oil."

HM

More Minnesota Public "Relations"

From the Minnesota zoo. Pic is a little dark, you may have to click on. But it explains why we still have a turtle species.

Given the apparent impact of Minnesota public areas in early December, I must be even more hideous appearing than I imagine, cuz I am not getting any wild Metrodome bathroom/MN Zoo cage public sex (or reasonable facsimile thereof).

HM

Kevin and Pat Williams -- Cheaters -- Suspended for 4 Games

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7985451&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1

The defense was never going to work. If you allow the "it wasn't on the label" defense to work, you need to allow guys to just take injections from any non-labeled needle that they are offered. "Hey, nothing on the label; thought it was B-12."

Could the Lions win a game? After all, maybe they can send their 310 pound QB on sneaks up the middle all game??????????

Iowans Gone Wild Police Report

K has the background on the story at his site.

Here is the police report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1126081stall1.html

If you search the woman's name for pictures, she is pretty good looking, especially for a 38 year old Iowa woman.

Summary -- 26 year old Iowa guy gets horny, drunk 38 year old woman in handicapped stall of Metrodome Gate H men's bathroom.

HM

For the Love of God -- Please Quit Turning It Over! (Update of Old Item)

Guys in the top 100 in turnovers per game and who get less than .75 assists per turnover:

10 -- Kendrick Perkins -- 2.3 turnovers, .56 assists per turnover
9 -- Marc Gasol -- 2.4/.51

8. -- Dwight Howard -- 2.7/.60
7. Amare -- 2.7/.67

6. Kaman -- 2.7/.68
5. Yao -- 2.8/.45

4. Elton Brand -- 2.8/.53


Top 3 are all wing players

3. Rudy Gay -- 3.1/.58
2. Kevin Durant 3.1/.55

1. Danny Granger -- 3.3/.72


HM

Look Out Cleveland Opponents

If Cleveland can get by playing LeBron only the 39th most minutes in the league, there will be hell to pay come playoff time.

Chris Bosh and Steve Jackson playing 42 minutes a night? My lord. Has Paul Silas returned to coaching? When you are playing 2+ minutes more than Joe Johnson (who seemingly never comes off the floor), you know you are logging a ton of minutes.

Kevin Garnett plays fewer minutes per game than Raja Bell, Roger Mason and T.J. Ford.

He does manage to edge out Troy Murphy, Beno Udrih and Ronnie Brewer.

Minnesota Timberwolves -- Behind the Numbers

Currently the Wolves are 4-12. So, roughly 20% of the way through the season.

There are 4 teams with worse records (OKC, Wash, Clippers, Memphis).

Pace: 20-62. (As I have noted in the past, even the shittiest teams pick up their win pace in the later part of the year when other teams quit trying. So let's make a new stat "Pace Adjusted for Others Tanking")

PAOT -- 26-56

So if the Wolves are the 26th worst team in the league, why is that? What stats stand out as saying, "Egad, no wonder that team sucks!"???

Frankly, let me be honest here. This is not a team whose stats indicate that it should be the 26th best team in the league. By the stats, the team should be around 23rd or 24th best. To reach that level, the Wolves would have needed to win 2 additional games 20% of the way through the schedule. That says to me that those lost 2 games are coaching losses. Multiply 2 times 5 (we are only 1/5 of the way through the schedule) and the Wolves will lose 10 games due to poor coaching. This is consistent with my belief that Randy Wittman is a "Negative 10" coach -- his teams will lose 10 more games with him than would a team with an average NBA coach (say Nate McMillan).

Anyway, looking at some of the stats is actually kind of funny given Randy Wittman's positions taken in the media.

Randy Wittman and Randy Foye:
Wittman is extremely critical of Randy Foye and has implied that Foye's point guard play has cost the team wins. Well, the Wolves are 3rd in the entire league in Assists Per Game!! They are 5th in the league in assist differential (meaning they get a lot more assists per game than their opponents and only 4 teams in the league are better at this -- Utah, Indiana, Boston, Dallas).

In turnovers per game the Wolves are not awful -- they turn it over more than most teams, ranking 19th best. But where they suck is forcing opponent turnovers -- they are 27th. This still only leads to a TO differential rank of 23rd.

Scoring and Getting Scored On:

19th in scoring, 21st in opponent scoring, 24th in point differential. All of these indicate that they should have a better record.

Shooting is a problem, but not to the extent you would think. The Wolves are 24th in FG%, and rank 23rd in opponents' field goal percentage. They are 21st in 3 point percentage (not helped by Rashad McCants' 24% and Kevin Love's 10%) and 21st in opponents' 3PT%. The Wolves, in an odd twist, are 3rd in the league in free throw percentage and "hold" opponents to the 6th worst FT% in the league.

And the Wolves are a pretty good rebounding club -- 14th in rebounding, 16th in opponents' rebounding, 17th in rebound differential.

The Primary Deficiency -- Lack of Athletic Wing and Post Players

When you lack athletic wing and post players, you end up low in blocks, get your shots blocked a lot, don't get many steals, commit a lot of fouls and draw very few fouls.

And the verdict is?

Steals -- 29th
blocks -- 20th
Getting shot blocked -- 23rd
Block differential -- 25th
Fouls -- 24th
Foul Differential -- 27th
Forced turnovers -- 27th
Turnover differential -- 23rd

Opponents have shot 60 more free throws than Minnesota over 16 games.

You are playing Mike Miller 35 minutes a night and he is getting .62 steals + blocks a game. Let's imagine a super crappy defender -- say, Wally Szczerbiak -- in 19 minutes a game he is averaging .62 steals a game and .12 blocks a game. In about half of Mike Miller's floor time, Wally is more productive defensively.

Point guard Randy Foye has more blocks (6) than any of the following: Miller, Ryan Gomes, Craig Smith, Corey Brewer, Rashad McCants. Foye ranks third on the Wolves in blocks, trailing only Al Jefferson (29) and 6'8" Kevin Love (12).

So to address this issue the Wolves have drafted.........well.........a terrible defender in McCants, a point guard in Foye, a painfully thin and not explosive player in Brewer and a chunky undersized power forward in Kevin Love. None of these players provides explosive and agressive defense on the perimeter or in the paint.

And the #1 trade recruit this off season? Mike Miller -- one of the least productive defenders in the league (competing hard with Steve Nash and Peja for that award).

Verdict -- Wolves = Bad, But Should Be 36-46 rather than 26-56 if they had good coaching.

Side note -- after writing this, I recalled that basketball-reference.com has a "projected wins" number based upon stats (they try to evaluate where a team should be based upon their existing stats). Their verdict? Wolves should be 6-10. http://www.basketball-reference.com/teams/MIN/2009.html

Corey Brewer -- Blown ACL

Out for the season. He blew out his ACL trying to make a crossover move in the open court. Tripped himself up, blew out his pencil thin knee, and ended up sprawled out on the court. To his credit he got the phantom foul call and he returned to the game.

What is saddest about the injury is that when Brewer returned to the game you could not notice any decline in his explosiveness (i.e., he had none before and he had none after).

Amazing.

Last 4 Wolves #1s:

Rashad McCants (rather than Danny Granger),

Randy Foye (we had Brandon Roy drafted and traded him for Foye),

Corey Brewer (which I thought was an OK pick at the time, what we see from the 2007 draft is that you had Oden, Durant and Horford and then just an enormous talent vacuum), and

Kevin Love (plays same position as your best player Al Jefferson and has similar deficiencies as a player).


Thankfully Randy Wittman has decided to start playing Randy Foye, so the Wolves no longer have 4 consecutive first round picks in the top 14 riding the bench.

Possibly A Bears Fan Chatting With Katherine Heigl?

I am not sure where this footage comes from, but I believe that it may be secret footage of a Bears fan discussing the movie "Brokeback Mountain" with Katherine Heigl (who recently turned 30).

She proves to be a good sport about the whole thing.

By the way -- Bears/Vikes last night? Ass kicking.

Michael Phelps's New Girlfriend

http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/phelps_and_girl#30602



Mom Phelps must be SO proud of her boy. After all, when you are the #1 celebrity endorser in the U.S. for a period of time and that gives you the chance to attract the eye of...........a strip bar waitress and contributor to http://www.beverlyhillspimpsandhos.com/.



So proud, so proud.

University of Buffalo Bulls -- Bowl Bound, Baby!

My undergrad alma mater is poised to make a bowl appearance!

This guy predicts a birth in the "International Bowl" against UConn. But a win in the MAC championship game would lead the mighty Bulls to a game against NC State in the Motor City Bowl.

How weird is it that Buffalo is going to any bowl game? Well, they have never been. They have never, to my knowledge, had a winning season while in D-I. They have committed for 2009......................2 2-star recruits. In 2008 they had no recruit above 2 stars (5 is the max).

On the plus side, the Bulls feature 4-year starter Drew Willy at QB. Willy has thrown 22 TDs and only 5 INTs this year, and he has had 9 games in which he has completed a pass of over 30 yards.

Another plus for the Bulls is that they are one of the few remaining NON-racist clubs in the nation, being led by former Nebraska QB turned head coach Turner Gill!! He is one of three remaining D-I black football coaches. (The link mentions Sylvester Croom -- he just resigned).

Go Bulls!!! Maybe some day we get a 3-star recruit????????

HM

Why Charlie Weis Should Keep His Job

Since everyone wants to lynch the guy, here is my defense of him:

1) He is playing a ton of freshman and sophomores against high division I opponents. He should at least get a chance to play juniors and seniors that he recruited.

2) He has missed Michael Floyd for about 3 games. Floyd is a future pro receiver. He had managed to catch almost 50 balls and get 7 TDs even with the woeful Jimmy Clausen throwing to him.

3) He has finally recruited a high-end running back. There are only 28 high school recruits rated 5 star by rivals.com. Weis has Cierre Wood -- the #18 recruit in the country. The Irish running game is non-existent currently. You would think you would allow Weis one year with a legit 5 star recruit to see if that might turn around (Weis also has a top 60 lineman and a top 60 receiver coming in).

4) If you are the administration, and you let Weis keep his job, you need to say, "Jimmy Clausen sucks donkey schlong. Charlie, how could you turn our program over to this drunken piece of crap?" Then you demand that he find a replacement, whether it is in high school, or the JC ranks, or running the single wing, whatever. You CANNOT play a guy who has thrown 27 TDs and 23 INTs in his career.

Watching Clausen play is like watching a good 7th grade QB play in a high school state title game. He is so horribly overmatched athletically (negative rushing yards on the season, has taken 20 sacks and innumerable "run out of the pocket and throw it away" plays) that unless he is completely untouched in the pocket, he cannot perform. You are playing D-I level football. You MUST have a QB throwing 2 TDs for every pick. If he is not throwing 2 TDs for every pick, he must be gaining 50+ yards a game on the ground. To steal from Neal Page, "Clausen is a MIRACLE, his play has NONE OF THAT! Honey, let me show you some clips of Jimmy Clausen playing QB.....Oh, and here is a gun to blow your brains out....you will thank me."


5) Who are you going to turn to?

Let's face it. Urban Meyer had a chance to come to Notre Dame. He basically fled to Florida as fast as he could and stopped taking calls from ND. Your last high profile hire at Notre Dame??? Um, Lou Holtz? Let's be blunt here. Toss out Holtz's run (which was fueled by some....um, non_traditional recruiting practices) and what do you have from 1981 to 2008?

Gerry Faust
Bob Davie
Ty Willingham
Charlie Weis

Not only did these guys all have almost no success at ND, other than Weis, none of them are currently coaching anywhere!!

Taking out Lou Holtz's 100-30 mark, since 1981, Notre Dame football is 28 games over .500. Total. So a typical year for Notre Dame is 7-6. Who wants to go to ND? Answer -- no one.

So you fire Weis and hire..............who?

So there. I just wanted to give people SOME search result when they searched for this headline on Google.

HM

Super Bowl Prediction After Week 13

Giants 41 Titans 10


NFC Title Game
Giants 32 Tampa Bay 7


AFC Title Game
Tennessee 11 Pittsburgh 9