Thursday, February 26, 2009

Death By Sex

The Russian mechanic -- name "Tuganov", English equivalent "Tuggin'-off" -- felt the need to win a $4,300 bet by trying to pleasure two women non-stop for 12 hours.

While I appreciate his dedication to the bet, I think that if two women are willing to bet you that you can't have sex with them for 12 straight hours, you maybe ought to decline the bet and just, well, have sex with them for some amount of time that won't make your heart explode. Alternatively, you tell them you want a warm-up try that "doesn't count" to see if you want to make the bet. Then you do the best you can and say, "Nope, you were right."

And of course, no mention of Russian women would be complete without a few words from Yakov Smirnoff:

“I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.”

"In the Soviet Union, we have no prostitution. Russian women have trouble giving it away."

"Russian women: At 20, they look 40. At 40, they look 60. At 60—don't look."

"In the US, you can catch a cold. In Soviet Russia, cold catches you!" (not related to women, but pure Yakov gold)

"I read the employment announcement of "Part-Time Woman Wanted"; what a country! Even transvestites can get work!"

"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to."

No comments: