Monday, October 05, 2009

My Favorite Office Quotes from "The Deposition"

Just saw it again a couple weeks ago. Great episode in which Michael is trying (and not succeeding) to help his girlfriend Jan's case by giving a deposition:


Jan's lawyer: How long have you known the plantiff?
Michael Scott: I haven't actually seen it. But I have seen The Firm and I am planning on renting The Pelican Brief.


Jan's lawyer: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael Scott: Six years and two months.
Jan's lawyer: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Jan's lawyer: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: [slowly] That's what she said.

Jan's lawyer: Now Mr. Scott, what did you say Ms. Levinson said, regarding your employment status, with respect to her corporate position?

Jan: If I may, he was just telling a joke before, so can we move on to a different question?
Jan's lawyer: Are you sure?
Jan: Uh, yes.
Jan's lawyer: Can you go back to where this digression began?
Court reporter: [reading] Mr. Schneider. And you were directly under her the entire time? Mr. Scott. That's what she said.
Michael Scott: Well. Delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.

Jan's lawyer: [reading from Michael's journal] I quote from an entry dated January four of this past year. 'Just got back from Jamaica. Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee. Oh diary, what a week. I had sex with my boss. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere, that it was a one-time mistake. But we had sex six times so you tell me.


Michael Scott (to Jan's lawyer): Hey, Schneider, real quick. What do you call a buttload of lawyers driving off a cliff.
Jan's lawyer: A good start. And I think it's busload.
Michael Scott: Yeah. A bunch of rich lawyers took the bus. [to Jan] Where'd you find this guy?

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