So fellas, if you see a girl walking around your college with 20 extra pounds, just print out this Internet item and say, "More of me means less of you!"
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Personal Note on Memorial Day
I have a couple friends whose families are battling cancer. I wish them the best (one family is battling Stage 3 breast cancer and the other is battling Stage 4 colon cancer).
All of my life I have tried to put something away for retirement and maybe something for the kids' college expenses. Try not to get into too much debt -- be responsible. As I have reached age 45 and I am seeing all of this pain and hurt, making plans primarily for the future becomes a tougher and tougher sell. Because, you see, I love being alive. I love life, and I do, in fact, fear whatever happens to you when you die. I sure hope that there is a better world for us after this one, but it seems so hard for me to believe that. After all, what experience can possibly beat watching your boy play ball and fly around second as he tries to leg out a triple? Or hearing one of your girls make a joke that you would have never thought of? The thought of others possibly losing the chance to experience ever again the things I love so much about this world makes me profoundly sad.
But fortunately these folks have a great deal more religious faith than I. Which I am sure comforts them in their darker moments.
And what HM blog post would be complete without some corny quote from a TV show or movie?
Theoden: I know your face... Eowyn. My eyes darken.
Eowyn: No. No. I'm going to save you.
Theoden: You already did... Eowyn. My body is broken. You have to let me go. I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed. Eowyn...
So today on Memorial Day, I will think about those who have gone before me, like my friend Jeff W., who never had a chance to see his boy play ball, and thank whatever force it is that allows me to be around every day so I can embrace and enjoy being around to see my kids grow up.
Another favorite clip:
All of my life I have tried to put something away for retirement and maybe something for the kids' college expenses. Try not to get into too much debt -- be responsible. As I have reached age 45 and I am seeing all of this pain and hurt, making plans primarily for the future becomes a tougher and tougher sell. Because, you see, I love being alive. I love life, and I do, in fact, fear whatever happens to you when you die. I sure hope that there is a better world for us after this one, but it seems so hard for me to believe that. After all, what experience can possibly beat watching your boy play ball and fly around second as he tries to leg out a triple? Or hearing one of your girls make a joke that you would have never thought of? The thought of others possibly losing the chance to experience ever again the things I love so much about this world makes me profoundly sad.
But fortunately these folks have a great deal more religious faith than I. Which I am sure comforts them in their darker moments.
And what HM blog post would be complete without some corny quote from a TV show or movie?
Theoden: I know your face... Eowyn. My eyes darken.
Eowyn: No. No. I'm going to save you.
Theoden: You already did... Eowyn. My body is broken. You have to let me go. I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed. Eowyn...
So today on Memorial Day, I will think about those who have gone before me, like my friend Jeff W., who never had a chance to see his boy play ball, and thank whatever force it is that allows me to be around every day so I can embrace and enjoy being around to see my kids grow up.
Another favorite clip:
Watch more MySpace videos on AOL Video
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Michael Scott -- How To Apologize for a Mistake
With appropriate person-specific revisions, this is how I will apologize to the next person who is upset at a mistake I have made:
"Hello, I am Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. By now you're probably sick of hearing about Dunder Mifflin and our embarrassing watermark boner (pictured).
I have literally apologized an infinite number of times over this, and still there are calls for me to resign, calls from an annoying woman and possibly even the media alike. Well, let me tell you something. Something from the heart. I will not resign.
I am not leaving this office. It will take a SWAT team to remove me from this office, and maybe not even then. There is no way I will resign. It wouldn't be fair, not to the good workers I work with, not to my clients. And especially not to me. Let's not forget who this resigning business is really all about.
I need this job. My mortgage is hundreds of dollars a month. With this job I can barely cover that. I have a company car, but I still have to pay for the gas. Gas prices are high and I have no savings whatsoever. And it wasn't even me.
It is so not fair that they want me to resign. If I could leave you with one thought: remember, it wasn't me. They are trying to make me an escapegoat.
If I am fired, I swear to God that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F word on it. The F word.........You have one day."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
