Monday, December 06, 2010

Pic of Katy Perry In a Vinyl Simpsons Dress

Um, probably why she is leading the Blog Poll...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

My New Mike Beasley Nickname -- "The Predator"

Big ugly dude. Tough. Physical. Hunts alone (i.e., Mike almost never gets an assist). Hard to figure out. Different guy. Very dangerous.
The Predator.

100 Worst NFL Players of All-Time

Certainly not TRULY the worst 100 of all-time, but some great stories here. Not sure how Wasswa Serwanga missed the list or how Spurgeon Wynn is not far closer to #1.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Nikola Pekovic Fouling Pace -- Still Terrible, But Now Not The Worst Ever

Thank you Dillard Crocker, Al Beard and Danny Fortson for moving to the forefront.

Averaging Over 7 Three Point Attempts Per Game

Baron Davis -- #1. George McCloud. Gilbert Arenas. How about a million Ray Allen and Tim Hardaway seasons???

I Will Take THAT!! Guys With 2.3 Steals or More, Playing Under 30 Minutes a Game

Slick Watts -- always great to see his name.

Michael Phelps -- you thought his long arms helped in SWIMMING!

Milt Williams -- ABA guards must have been terrified that someone was actually trying on defense.

Assist Me! Guys With Under 30 Minutes a Night but Getting 9+ assists a Night

Lucas and Johnny Moore were teammates one year!!!


True Rebounders -- Guys Who Played Less Than 24 Minutes a Night And Still Averaged 10 Rebounds a Game

I wonder if the Knicks ever had Ray Felix and Johnny Green at the same time!?!?! No opponent would ever get a board!

True Microwaves -- Guys With Over 20 Points a Game Playing 28 or Fewer Minutes a night

John Brisker anyone?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Best of HM #1 -- An HM Christmas Story

I always feel really good around the Christmas season, or when I am talking about the Christmas season, so if you want items that feature the word Christmas:
you cannot really go wrong.

But for my all-time favorite, I turn to a nice, pleasant non-train-wreck Christmas dating story that I repeated in a local bar one night. It led the 30 year old female bartender to eavesdrop and, when I paused, say, "Come on, let's hear more of that story...that is a great story."

The story is actually a rare feel good post, so it may play better at the holidays, but we shall see, I guess.

Since the "girl" in the story is +7 on me, that would make her now 53 years old. Wow.

Enjoy again, or for the first time:

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Best of HM #2: Four Part Article On April or May 1982

There are really only two items I have ever written that have evoked very positive verbal and written comments from readers -- one of them is this 4-part story from my youth.

It was, at one point in time, stolen from the blog and posted on an "ex-girlfriend revenge site" -- I don't know why, and I don't advise you to visit said site. But if you want to go back into the day and recall what 2008 reader Andy described as "all feeling and memory" this is for you.
The featured player is the guy in the red and white shirt.




Monday, October 18, 2010

Best of HM #8 -- Marcus Williams

You must read the comments to enjoy. For those of you (like me) who doubted Williams' prowess as a player, we can eat our words. He is super, as is evidenced by his recent signing in the Russian "SUPER LEAGUE"!!

Best of HM -- #9

My first ever Blog post.

The "Best of" HM -- #10

Figured I would do what Howard Stern does when he is on vacation (I actually WAS just on vacation, so I kinda missed out on the idea) and recycle old stuff.

Just saw on Facebook not one but two of these girls mentioned here:


Monday, September 27, 2010

Underrated #8 -- Aly Michalka

Phil of the Future, Hellcats, Bandslam.....

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Carrie Underwood Concert

Having attended her State Fair show last night, I agree with this guy's assessment. I have never been to a concert where someone sang so well for the entire show. In the era of AutoTune, it is nice to know that there is actually at least one person who can actually sing the song, for real, in person, and with a lot of power.

Voice -- 10
Looks -- 10
Overall Show -- 9.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Stephen Strasburg -- Blown Out Arm

How can a guy so thin and lanky throw 103 with a 92 mile per hour slider and a 90 mile per hour changeup? Answer == he can't for very long.

Stephen -- look up "Tommy John" and "Frank Tanana" and see how hard you will be throwing when and if you ever return to the majors.

Mila Kunis Kissing Natalie Portman

Not a huge fan of either, but it looks like a bizarre twisted sex movie, so maybe worth a look.

Monday, August 23, 2010

USA 86, Spain 85

Some observations --

1) This is a really bad USA team. You have Durant and Rose and then your third best player is..........Billups? Odom? Would this team win the NBA title? No.

Andre Iguodala for 3!!!!!!!!!! Air.

2) We are so bad against the pick and roll, we have to go 2-3 zone with the game on the line. Durant blocks Rubio and then block Fernandez as time expires.

3) The ESPN 2 feed doesn't have the game clock on it? Was it inoperable? Or in Spain do they just kinda play a couple hours, allow one final possession and then go eat tapas all night, washed down with Sangria?!?!?


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

League Perhaps to Save Knicks From Isiah Hire

In other news, the other 29 NBA teams petitioned Commissioner Stern and demanded that the Knicks be REQUIRED to hire Isiah again. A similar petition was received from every lawyer in the Tri-State Metro Area who specializes in sexual harassment cases.

The NBA likely will rule today on Thomas' consultant contract and several NBA executives believe the move will be blocked because of the conflict of interest in having a college coach work for an NBA team. Whether that means Thomas chooses to remain at Florida International is unclear. However, it is becoming more and more clear that Thomas has been in Knicks owner James Dolan's ear for the past two years.

Read more:

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Ted Stevens -- Dead

One commenter notes that Stevens "got screwed in 2006, but ur with god now...." Um, OK. We will go with that.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Why Tax Cuts Do Not Create Jobs

Larry Summers on CNN this weekend was asked what would create jobs. His response, "Businesses will add jobs when they cannot serve their current or likely customers with the work force that they have. I get a kick out of people complaining that the Fortune 500 are sitting on $1.5 trillion in cash. A business is not a charity. I don't hire workers just because I am sitting on a bunch of money. I hire workers because I don't have enough workers to make products at the level I need." So much for the whole, "Cut taxes on businesses and increase jobs" line spouted by the Tom Emmers and Tim Pawlenty's of the world.

I have long said that the real way to increase jobs is to cut the PERSONAL taxes of any CEO who creates good-paying jobs -- quid pro quo -- you hire X people to work for you, you get a personal tax reduction. You would see that $1.5T put to use VERY quickly under those circumstances.

Friday, August 06, 2010

What Do You Get When You Pay Amare Stoudemire $100 Million???

I sorted for guys who are under 30 and over 23 (in their primes), 6'9" or more, more than 21 points a game, less than 9.5 boards a game and less than 2.2 assists per game.

The answer to the question posed is.....

Not as much as you would think......

Patrick Ewing -- good, I would take that. Charles Smith?? Wayman Tisdale?? Peja? Well, there is the Patrick Ewing hope, I guess.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

More Mel Gibson Re: the value of Oral

As he loses control he yells at her: “I’m not giving you my house and you can rot unless you crawl back, s*ck my cock and say you’re sorry, in that order! Do you understand me? You f*cking offend my f*cking maleness, my masculinity, my being, my soul!”

No saying you are sorry first -- crawl, suck, THEN apologize.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Eddy Curry -- On His Way to the Poor House

I used to do some work with a lawyer from Seattle who knew an NBA player from when they grew up together. He said that when the player would come to town he would take the attorney to dinner and spend $1,100 on wine and champagne. The lawyer always said, "Why do you do this?" The player's repsonse -- "The way I figure it, I came from nothing and I can always go back to nothing. So what is my risk? That I spend all of my money and go back to where I grew up? I will spend my money while I have it."

So there ya go.

By the way -- if you want to draft DeMarcus Cousins (6'9 1/2 in bare feet, 292 pounds, 16.5% body fat), why not upgrade and get the real thing -- Eddy Curry!?!?

Monday, May 17, 2010

MDLF -- Gloria James

Mom Delonte'd Like to Fuck.

And, in fact, there was no "like to" about it -- he did.


MDADF -- Mom Delonte Actually Did Fuck.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Bikini-Shaving Driving Rear Ends Vehicle

OK, I thought it was weird enough before I heard the part abouit how she had her ex-husband take the wheel so she could shave down there. Um............what exactly do you say there? "Honey, Jimmy hates it when I am not shaved enough. Could you just take the wheel while I clean up some?"

Thursday, January 21, 2010

ALL-WHITE Basketball League Provides My Son Some Hope

The All-American Basketball League will limit its rosters to children born in American to two "caucasian" parents.

So, Kevin Love and David Lee will now become the LeBron James and Kobe Bryant of said league. Chris Kaman is its Shaq. Guards? Hmmm. J.J. Redick and Steve Blake? Wait a minute -- wasn't Kaman born in Germany? Wally Szczerbiak could make a comeback, but he was born in Spain!

We will have to work these things out.

The guy is NOT racist by the way (he says so). If the key to his league is that he does not want "street ball" then why is he banning foreign-born players?

One final note -- the decision to ban part-white players cost the league a lot of really good players (Kris Humphries, Jason Kidd, Shane Battier, I think Carlos Boozer, Deron Williams).

Will we see guys trying to "pass" to get into the league? Welcome back to 1954.