Tuesday, November 15, 2011

NBA lockout analogies

1). Guy wants his kid to stop spending so much money at McDonald's. Kid spends 20 bucks a day there. But mom doesn't mind, so she gives kid 20 bucks. After 7 years the dad says "hey I can only afford 17 bucks a day". Kid - why? I always get 20. Dad - ok say 18.50. Kid - don't bully me. Dad - here is the deal, you take the 18.50 offer or you get 0 and I will beat the living shit out of you every day. Kid - no thanks. So the dad actually gives him 0 dollars and beats thr shit out of him every day. The kid tells his friends "Well, I took a stand". The dad is hated by everyone a a child abuser.

2). World economy goes all to hell. I have one skill - spinning dinner plates on a stick. I can make 10 million bucks a year working for Guy Liberte or 900000 a year working for a guy in Peru. Liberte loses 7 million playing poker, do he asks me to take a pay cut to 9 million. I say "hey that was your own fault you lost all that money". Liberte says "I know, but I need it back and I will get it back from you". I say - What!!! I am insulted. So I leave my job and fly to Peru. Liberte closes down for a year and says "I never made any money on that business anyway".

3). A very rich man owns an oceanfront property in Malibu. He rents it to me every July for 200 bucks a month. Every year he loses money on my deal but he likes having someone there and the property goes up in value 20 percent a year. So he doesn't care. Then the housing market collapses and he says "I now need 8000 dollars a month". I say "fuck you". He says "well, the place just declined in value and now I need the actual fair market value from you". Whose fault is THAT I ask? Owner guy says "take it or leave it". I offer 4000 dollars. He says 7000. I walk away. He rents the property to no one. I rent from no one. My family hate me and hates him. Some of my kids rent a shack three blocks off the beach in Maine for 7000 a month.

4). I am wildly overpaid my boss walks up to me one day and says "go empty the garbage since that is now a job duty for you.". Um, why? "Saves me money". But you are one of the 30 most wealthy men in the state? "empy the garbage". Look boas, be reasonable. "Ok - three days a week empty the garbage". Never. Empty the garbage by the end of the day or you are fired". I will think about it. End of day comes. He won't really make me empt the garbage, right? "you got 3 minutes to empty it or you are fired". Nope. "you are fired". Tomorrow I may get a job in Europe for 20 percent of my current pay...or I may be unemployed.

5). Venenzuelan gang kidnaps mr just for fun. Takes me to a pool and

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