We take a break from the 2021 Top 36 for this story. I was criticized today for putting Splenda in my coffee, and I remembered this story, taking me down a rabbit hole from 38 years ago.
The year was 1983. I was a 2nd year Honors Scholar at my college. The new class (20) of Honors Scholars had arrived at the school and we were supposed to be nice to them and tell them our experiences, etc. This, of course, caused me to try to find a good looking female to hit on and potentially date. There were two primary targets, one we will call Dani, though I am unsure what her actual name was - I think it was a unisex name. She was short and dark-haired and had some passing interest in talking to me. The other we will call Angry because she appeared angered by anything I said to her or the fact that I would give her any attention.
Dani asked me to review some poli sci classroom issues, and she even had breakfast with me to discuss them. It certainly didn't have the makings of a torrid love affair, but she smiled when we passed in the halls and she was pleasant. Angry - not so much. I tried to avoid her all I could.
We went to a reception one night at a professor's house. I hung with my sophomore friends. About 45 minutes from the end of the night, they served us coffee. Angry walked over to me and said, "What do you have there?" Coffee. "Can I have a sip?" Sure. "This is like CANDY! You drink CANDY COFFEE!?! I at least thought you'd be kind of manly. Geez. I didn't think I could think LESS of you, but I do." Um, OK. She walks away in disgust.
Now, we get about 1 month into the semester and I have almost achieved the courage to ask out Dani. I mean, why not try? I come home one day and the guy across the hall (Dave) is pouring bleach all over our shower stall. He is in this disgusting shower stall just scrubbing away. Me, "?" Dave, "I have a date with this girl tonight and she said she'd really like to take a shower with me." OK. "She is really excited." Now, Dave was a pretty terrible guy, basically imagine the stereotype of every bad movie's "college tool" guy. Me, "Well, good for you Dave, Good luck," Dave, "Her name is Dani. Complete freak."
Well, yeah... that was the end of that.
Anyway, I also remember about 2 months later that Angry one night at a party came up to me as I was sitting on a couch and said something to the effect of, "Hey, I hear you like me." Me, "What?" Her, "Look, it seems like you like me. Don't. I have a boyfriend." Me, "OK." Suffice to say, I did not hang out with that class thereafter if I could help it. The girl I had my eye on enjoyed wild shower sex with the biggest tool I knew, and the girl I had managed to avoid due to her anger issues had the belief that I secretly pined for her.
Anyway - all this comes back from just a similar coffee comment made 38 years later.
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