Monday, September 15, 2014

Adrian Peterson and Beating Your Kid

My wife's parents never spanked her.  My parents sometimes spanked me when I misbehaved.  So we are talking about 1970-75 level discipline.  I can recall once finding a book to shove down my pants so that when I got spanked it wouldn't hurt so much.

My dad once backhanded me across my face so hard I saw stars.  I was being annoying on a long car trip, and I probably deserved it.  My dad is the absolute nicest guy in the world.  I was probably 10-12.

I have never hit my kids.  Never.  God knows I wanted to, and God knows that they deserved it.  But I never hit my kids with a hand, a belt or a stick, or anything else.  They got "time outs."  I also gave them all of the psychological pain I could inflict - telling them how dumb their decisions were and how I was most hurt by the fact that they would misbehave, lie to me, and then think I was so stupid that I wouldn't catch them.

Anyway, in this country we have laws against child abuse.  Those laws against child abuse, however, do not include hitting your kid to discipline them.  We generally leave that up to the parent.  Now imagine this -- imagine if there were specific laws that said that if your wife or girlfriend pissed you off that you could hit them.  You are the husband, you may strike them with a stick no bigger in diameter than your thumb (the Rule of Thumb).  There used to be such laws.  Today, the rule is basically you cannot ever hit a woman unless she is actually beating the living hell out of you....and even then, you are better off to just take the beating.

But we do not have the same legal or societal rule for hitting your kid.  In Texas, for example, you can authorize OTHER people to hit your kid (the school system allows you to send in a note saying "if my child misbehaves, you may paddle them" - in a weird twist, you may also only allow same sex paddling.....think about that a little).  So we obviously do not treat kids the same as women (imagine, "hey, waiter, if my wife comes to your place of business and gives you a hard time, you may strike her").

We could make it illegal to spank or paddle or whip kids.  We generally have not done so.  Why?  Well, one reason is that society as a whole says that it is an acceptable practice.  I got spanked, I didn't expect my parents would end up in jail.  The other reason -- one I think is probably becoming the bigger policy reason that the rule hasn't changed -- is that we don't want the government involved in parenting every kid in the state.  I don't think you would find any psychologist who would deny that a parent being mean to a kid and playing psychological games with the kid can be a lot more devastating and do a lot more long lasting harm to the child than hitting them with a stick.  So, if that is true, then how many calls are county prosecutors going to be taking from young kids complaining, "My mom is mean to me." or "My dad sent me to bed without dinner."  or "My dad said I was stupid."   Are these actions CRIMES???  Will there need to be a 7-month grand jury prosecution where I will need to come and testify about exactly HOW mean I was to my kid?  Can I say, "I am concerned about your weight" but not "You could stand to lose a few...."?   Do we sit in a courtroom for a week and decide whether I am going to be convicted by a jury of my peers?

Peterson hit his kid and he says he hit the kid too hard.  Isn't that a child custody matter or a child protective services matter?  Take the kid away from him.  But if we allow the parents to discipline kids through corporal punishment, I think we gotta start drawing the line a little more clearly.  You can only use your hand, you can only hit the butt, you gotta leave their clothes on, you can never leave a mark.  If you do that, then your average parent has notice of what is and is not proper and a criminal prosecution is justified.  But I do not believe that society can have it both ways.  In Texas, you cannot allow paddling in school and then turn around and say, "You accidentally hit your own kid too hard - that is a crime."  Decide, Texas.  And I think if you put it to a vote in Texas, they would decide that they will give the parents more leeway. 

Friday, September 12, 2014

Sorry Ms. Rousey - I Really Doubt It;_ylt=A0LEVyEhOhNUWS8Aw4lXNyoA

I used to be pretty tough (I know it is almost impossible to believe looking at me now).  I grew up on a farm.  I got run over by a hay wagon and fell 10 feet into shit and then got trampled by a startled cow.  I got run over by a 240 pound pig.  I played 4 years of football, and I was actually pretty good.  But I got blindsided in practice by a 300 pound guy one day.  I wasn't so tough.  I went down like I was shot.  Then he just laid on me with his enormous heft.  I could do nothing except beg to be let up.

Ray Rice outweighs Ms. Rousey by 100 pounds.  If he sucker punched her with that short left hook, she also goes down like she was shot.  That is just the truth.  We don't have "open class" boxing.  We don't let 130 pound women fight 230 pound men.  There is a reason for that. 


Whose Butt?

All I can say is - thank goodness for spray tanning.  Clue - wants to think she is young, but she is not.

And.....This Was Almost Our Vice President

Family is brawling at a kegger and then she is yelling out "You know who we are, don't you!?!?!?"   Fox News then immediately has her on as some sort of foreign policy expert. 

She was a failed sportscaster who banged Glen Rice while on the job.
She managed to become mayor of a tiny town in Alaska
She miraculously became Governor of Alaska and quit before her term was out because it didn't pay enough and she had to sometimes justify her personal vendettas and graft.

Stop me when you determine what qualifies her to comment on U.S. foreign policy.

She does, however, have a nice body.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Is Chauncey Billups a Sure Fire Hall of Famer? Certainly.

[My apologies for the Font issues below.....]

I don't mean "Hall of Famer" as in Calvin Murphy-Mitch Richmond level HOF player, I mean, is he a legitimate Hall of Fame player.

The answer is "Clearly, yes."  And it isn't even a close question.

Arguments Against:

1) He was never First-Team all-NBA.

2) His teams were generally teams that could be described as "ensembles" - he never had to carry a team to the point where if he did poorly the team sank.

3) The start and end of his career are not exactly what you would consider typical for a HOF player.

4) When you say "all-time greatest players" you generally do not immediately think of Chauncey Billups.

These arguments, however, are far outweighed by the arguments in favor:

Arguments in Favor:

1) Five time all-star, once 2nd team all-NBA, twice third-team all-NBA.

2) MVP of the 2003-04 Finals where Detroit won the title.

3) Clearly a top 3 player on a team that had a little mini-dynasty 2003-2008.

4)  His advanced stats are just ridiculous.  His best 5 WS seasons are better than the best 5 WS seasons of Gervin, Nash, Ray Allen or Iverson.  If you compare his best 6 seasons to Dwyane Wade's best 6 seasons, Chauncey wins 3 of 6 years, and he has been WAY more consistent in the other remaining years than has Wade.

If you want to discuss sustained excellence, Chauncey had 8 seasons with 9 or more Win Shares.  This places him above Clyde Drexler and Walt Frazier, both of whom had only seven such NBA seasons.

He ranks in the top 40 in Career Win Shares, above Nique, Bob Lanier and Elvin Hayes.

His Playoff stats are ridiculous.  Of players 6'5" and under, there are 3 guys who had over 20 Playoff Win Shares and over .150 WS/48 -- Jerry West, John Stockton, and Chauncey.  Stockton played 1,000 more playoff minutes and had 0.8 more Win Shares.  Only Jerry West was clearly better in the playoffs.  (For those of you who are wondering, if you expand it to 6'6", you get Kobe, who has a worse WS/48 than Chauncey, and Jordan.  If you expand it to 6'8" you get Magic and LeBron.

So of players even 6'8" and under, Chauncey's playoff production is only clearly worse than Jordan, LeBron, Magic and Jerry West. 


Key cog on a team that won a title, reached consecutive finals, and reached the Eastern Conference Finals 6 straight times.
Has All-Star and All-NBA recognition sufficient to be a low-end HOF inductee. (virtually the same honors as Joe Dumars)
Has the advanced stats to be a high-end HOF inductee.

Clearly in.  In fact, depending upon who else is up, maybe a first-ballot guy.

Monday, September 08, 2014

Hawks Owner - Where Is the Line?

Now, I agree that you probably ought not get caught saying that the Kiss Cam footage is "too black" but let's assume that this happens:

1) Owner is not white, but black.
2) Hawks draw shitty crowds.
3) Owner hires third party to ask people in the area with money why they don't attend Hawks games.
4) Third party conducts a survey and accurately reports back that the people they have interviewed who have money are mostly white and say they don't go to Hawks games because the fans are 50% black, and they, as sons of the Confederacy, don't hang out with black people and/or watch black cheerleaders.

Let's stop there.  Can the fictional Hawks owner, whom we will assume is not racist against his own race, do ANYTHING to attract those racist white fans? 

Can he write a memo even repeating what has been told to him?  Can he say, "hey, a lot of potential fans say....."?  Can he do ANYTHING to appeal to those fans?  What if they say they would attend five games a year if he hired 3 more white cheerleaders?  Probably legally not OK.  But what if they said they wanted thinner cheerleaders with smaller butts?  Probably OK. 

Is the only remedy the owner has for this situation to sell or move the team?  I mean, my lord, it is the South, so any white male above the age of 25 is 75% likely to hate black people.  If that is your target audience, and you basically cannot do what they are asking you to do, maybe the Hawks owner is getting a great deal by selling now.

Some Early Thoughts on Gopher Football


1)      The Gophers have an excellent offensive line and they have guys signed up for next year.  They can go two-deep on the O line and that is what they need since that is the strength of their team.

2)      They have one great RB in Cobb, then Edwards (who is they can figure out how to use him could be explosive) Kirkwood is OK as is Roderick Williams, and they have a guy coming next year who is also very good.  And MAYBE Jeff Jones if he can academically qualify.  They are set at RB, again, which is good since running the ball is their team identity.     They are set for 4-6 years at the positions they will need to run the ball.

3)      Saturday in the 2nd half was the only time I have ever seen Claeys get out-schemed by an offensive coordinator.  He generally has his guys in a position to make plays, they just sometimes don’t.  So the fact that the Gophers have a very good defensive coordinator is a big positive.  I will assume he just had one bad half.

4)      Damien Wilson is awesome – best Gopher LB I have ever seen.  And Jack Lynn looks to be only about 1 step behind in ability. 

5)      Defensive backs are generally not allowing guys to be 5-10 yards open – bucking Gopher tradition.


A)     QB play is awful.

B)      Passing offense has no one getting open and doesn’t use Maxx Williams (targeted once Saturday) and doesn’t throw basic short passes (swing pass, screen pass, bubble screen, dump to TE, 6 yard outs, slants).  I would hold a party at my house just to see a really basic 12 yard pattern where two guys cross paths in an effort to confuse the D.  Norv Turner is in town guys - make an appointment and have him draw up 6 passing plays for you to use.

C)      Defensive line is playing guys who are true freshman and who were not even very highly recruited as true freshmen.  So yeah, maybe you play the 4 or 5 star recruit if you get one, but if you are taking the red shirt of Andrew Stelter that says you need immediate playing time from a mid-level recruit who last played against 170 pound linemen at Owatonna.

D)     You are short one linebacker.  DeVondre Campbell is afraid of contact.  He is huge, and fast, but he cannot tackle.  They actually played Jon Celestine for a couple series.  He is a freshman who weighs about 210 pounds.  But he was willing to at least hit someone.  They also took the redshirt off another small freshman.  I would anticipate that Campbell gets dumped from the first team soon, especially since they are pushing the Poock kid so hard to come back from a blown knee. 

E)      D-backs still are always in position but regularly get outfought for the ball.  Doesn’t do any good to be there if the pass is still complete.

The biggest panic I would have is that your offense may score 10 points a game against good teams and your 4 true freshman that you are playing on the D line will not hold up to Big Ten competition.   So you may play Wisconsin and they may beat you 45-6 and never pass the ball.

To be optimistic – MTSU scored 61 points in its first game and has beaten teams like GTech and Maryland in the past, so they are not terrible.  Two of the hurt D linemen may possibly return after the bye, and if they do, that means you will have like 10 D linemen to rotate.   If you get that third good linebacker you are looking for, you may have a pretty good defense.  And maybe Kill is hiding all of his good pass plays so they don’t show up on tape??????

Ray RIce Punches His Now-Wife

Pluses -
1) Rice shows great form.  His left hook is very short and direct.  He obviously has hit people before;

2) Rice's acting skills are on display as the elevator stops and the doors open -- he lifts the then-fiancĂ©e to her feet in a "Weekend at Bernie's" effort.  Then drops her back down.

3) He COULD have left her prone body blocking the elevator door, but he did not, showing concern for others who might want to use the elevator on a different floor.


A) Hit the woman so hard that he could have killed her;

B) Does not really seem to show a great deal of concern for her, even as she is lying flat on her face, skirt hiked up to her ass, blocking an elevator door at a hotel.

C) When he knocks her out, it really isn't an "Oh my God" freak out moment for Ray.  I mean, you just absolutely destroyed a woman who is 100 pounds lighter than you.  You would think that there would be at least a little emotional recoil.  Um, no.

Per the story, Roger Goodell saw this tape.  Net result -- two game suspension.

Friday, September 05, 2014

The Sad State of The Minnesota Timberwolves Since Kevin Garnett's Departure

Garnett's last year in Minnesota was 2006-07, a year in which he put up 10.7 Win Shares.

Since that trade (7 full seasons) the Wolves have had only 5 guys who have put up 10.7 career Win Shares as a Wolf.

Love, Pek, Al Jefferson, Luke Ridnour and Ricky Rubio. 

How bad have the Wolves been?  The 10th most productive Wolf as a Wolf the past 7 years?  Dante Cunningham.

1 Kevin Love 2009 2014    47.0 Win Shares

2 Nikola Pekovic 2011 2014   17.7 Win Shares
3 Al Jefferson 2008 2010    17.2 Win Shares

4 Luke Ridnour 2011 2013   11.6 Win Shares
5 Ricky Rubio 2012 2014    10.9 Win Shares
Garnett' Win Shares since leaving the Wolves?  50.1.
During this 7 year stretch, there have been 274 guys who have registered at least 10.7 WS.  Love ranks 28th of players playing at some time during these 7 years.  LeBron leads with 119.2, 23 more than Chris Paul, who is, in turn, 7.5WS above Durant.

Thursday, September 04, 2014

What Does It Take to Get Into the Basketball-Reference Top 100 Games for Certain Stats

Now - huge caveat:  the rebounding stat and certain other stats only go back to 1985-86 and even points only goes back to 1963-64, so the database is far from complete, but hey, if you want into the top 100, here is what you have to do.  (I have chosen not to go with a stat level if the number of ties leads to a number well over 100.  For example, going with 55 minutes played leads to over 130 such games, so I went with 56 minutes played as the threshold).

Minutes Played -- you would need at least a double OT game, since 56 MP has been done 84 times.

Total rebounds - 26 Rebounds (done 72X)

Points -- 52 points (95X)

Blocks - 10 blocks (100X)

Assists - 21 assists (60X)

Turnovers -  10 turnovers (100X)

Game Score - 43.9 (done 98 times).

So - next time you see a guy having big numbers, you will know that the can get in the BBR database top 100 if he can get at least:

56 MP
26 rebounds
52 points
10 blocks
21 assists
10 turnovers
43.9 Game Score.

Steals is a very difficult one for me.  8 steals in a game has happened 157 times, so I really do not want to use that number of steals as the criteria.  However, 9 steals in a game has only happened 38 times!!   But I cannot accept becoming part of a 120 way tie for 39th place as a "top 100" effort.

So I go with:

9 steals.


Wow.  Up until her throat surgery, she seemed to be doing so well.  As a devotee of "Fashion Police", I can tell you that I greatly enjoyed her off color and bawdy humor.  I am not sure there is anyone else out there who will be able to take over that spot and deliver such offensive material in such a hilarious manner.


Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Celebrity Photo Hacking - The Background Story

Apparently there are a lot of people out there in the world who steal images of naked women and then just hold them in their personal collection with no intent to distribute them or make any money off of them.   I guess this makes some sense, when you consider the number of people caught every year doing weird shit like using a shoe camera or a hidden bathroom camera. 

The story of the guy who stole huge amounts of music and who asked that it all be destroyed when he died is another interesting tale.

I guess the lesson is that if you take a naked picture or video of yourself and put it on a computer somewhere, you should basically assume that, every day after you store that picture until the death of the thief, said thief will have the opportunity to jerk off to that photo or video.  As Bruce Hornsby once said, "That's just the way it is."

Wes Welker Wins Money, Takes Drugs, Suspended 4 Games

La-di-la-ta-di, he likes to par-ty, dancing with Molly, doin' whatever he wants.  This is his Derby, these are his rules.  No he can't stop (unless the league says so) and he won't stop (for more than 4 games).

I hate to racially profile, but when you hear, "Won money at the Kentucky Derby and got caught doing MDMA cut with uppers" you really do think - spoiled rich white guy.