Monday, May 01, 2006

Flirting -- Part II

See below for Part I. Now, my six pieces of advice for single women -- 1) be extremely obvious -- single men are often very dense and/or suffer from low self-esteem, if you like them, make it so obvious that anyone can tell; 2) try to know something about sports or other interests men generally have -- look, you don't have to like all sports, just pick one you can stomach and try to become moderately fluent in its lingo, for some reason hockey seems to be a female fave; 3) try to get past first impressions -- the available guys often make a poor first impression, try to see if there is something beyond the obnoxious outer shell; 4) emphasize the positive in your appearance -- hey, different strokes for different folks, five guys may not like your large chest, but five may; 5) move along -- a corollary of #3, if you give the guy a shot and he is a loser, move along, you are missing out on other opportunities -- far too many women say, "Well, he really isn't SO bad." Um, if you are offering that assessment up after 3-4 dates, he really is. 6) repeat #1 -- I don't think women truly get how obvious they have to be for guys to pick up on the fact that the woman is interested. After a very short attempt at subtlety say, "Hey, I like you and would like to go out some time. You?" You may get crushed, but at least then you can do #5 and waste no more time.

Flirting Advice Um, I don't think anyone could give more mediocre advice than stated there, so I will offer up 6 more basic tips for single guys: 1) talk -- sitting silently provides no hope; 2) don't be clueless -- if a woman talks to you more than one sentence, she may be interested; 3) be aggressive -- much like in Texas Hold'Em poker, aggression is often rewarded; if you are holding 7-2 offsuit, maybe you have to bluff a lot more than the guy holding a pair of aces, but the woman might say, "Well, he asked me out and at least HE thinks he has something to offer, maybe I am missing something"; 4) be shameless about touting your job -- if you have a good job in any way, shape or form, inform the woman of that fact; this puts you a small step ahead of the many guys without good jobs; 5) be funny -- easier said than done, but even the stupidest joke shows you are at least trying; 6) dress well -- outside of the top 15% of men, women generally know we are all pretty hideous anyway, so dress up -- at least the woman will feel that you look good with clothes on.

Vicky Marshall (Anna Nicole Smith) Wins One

2006 WL 1131904 is your citation for you lawyers out there. The interesting thing about the opinion is that Pierce Marshall may have a legal malpractice claim if and when he has to hand over $89MM to Anna Nicole. 1) Anna Nicole files for bankruptcy protection -- she makes no claim at all against the old dead guy's estate; 2) Pierce screws up and files a defamation claim against Anna Nicole in her bankruptcy; 3) OOOPS, by filing a claim, Pierce subjects himself to a counterclaim in federal court -- Anna Nicole sues him for $44MM saying that the old dead guy would have given that to her had Pierce not interfered (which certain facts show that he did); 4) Federal court awards her $44MM compensatory and $44MM punitive for Pierce's wrongful acts; 5) state court rules that old dead guy's will is valid and Pierce gets it all; 6) Pierce argues that the federal judgment against him is invalid; 7) Ninth Circuit agrees with Pierce; 8) Supreme Court agrees with Anna Nicole and sends the case back to the federal courts (who have already ruled for her) for further legal proceedings on different issues. If Pierce does not file the spiteful claim in bankruptcy court, he is home right now spending all of his dad's money! He did, however, file a meaningless claim against a bankrupt woman just to mess with her. So, in my opinion, he deserves what he got. And his lawyer (if the lawyer made the decision to file the bankruptcy claim) better alert its insurer...