Monday, April 30, 2007
Current Notre Dame QB coach
Farewell to "The Happy Snapper"
http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=252524
You may ask, HM, why do you own land in LeSueur County? My reply? So I can occasionally dine at "The Happy Snapper," a place where you can get the ham and cheese sandwich special for $2.50 (not including any side or drink). A place where you can go on a Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. and watch 3-4 people at the bar downing mixed drinks. A place where bathroom doors are considered a luxury. Etc, etc. I have had 5 or 6 meals at The Happy Snapper. All mediocre, but all enjoyable.
But now, due to what appears to be "faulty wiring," the town of Kilkenny has lost the Snapper and more people will have to turn to "The Liquor Hole" for their morning mixed beverages. (Notice the double entendre name pattern for Kilkenny bars???) As a nearby landowner, I am crushed. Hopefully the insurance company will pay off quickly and we can get a new Snapper in the middle of downtown Kilkenny. Maybe a 20 story office building? Or at least a place with working doors on the bathroom stalls............
RIP......
HM
You may ask, HM, why do you own land in LeSueur County? My reply? So I can occasionally dine at "The Happy Snapper," a place where you can get the ham and cheese sandwich special for $2.50 (not including any side or drink). A place where you can go on a Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. and watch 3-4 people at the bar downing mixed drinks. A place where bathroom doors are considered a luxury. Etc, etc. I have had 5 or 6 meals at The Happy Snapper. All mediocre, but all enjoyable.
But now, due to what appears to be "faulty wiring," the town of Kilkenny has lost the Snapper and more people will have to turn to "The Liquor Hole" for their morning mixed beverages. (Notice the double entendre name pattern for Kilkenny bars???) As a nearby landowner, I am crushed. Hopefully the insurance company will pay off quickly and we can get a new Snapper in the middle of downtown Kilkenny. Maybe a 20 story office building? Or at least a place with working doors on the bathroom stalls............
RIP......
HM
NFL Draft -- A Negative Review of Each Pick
Since I really cannot say I am an expert in NFL Draft evaluation, let me be Simon Cowell and provide a negative review for each first-round pick:
1 Oakland JaMarcus Russell - QB -- Congrats Raiders fans! You just picked a fatter, less athletic Daunte Culpepper who will be playing behind a Swiss cheese line. A good pick -- if you are Andrew Walter or Josh McCown.
2 Detroit Calvin Johnson - WR -- Millen really knows how to pick quality receivers. Hopefully he holds his trade value as well as did Mike Williams.
3 Cleveland Joe Thomas - OT -- Joining the long line of great white left tackles from the Midwest.......that ended in about 1973. When he is playing guard in 3 years for Arizona, Browns fans will not be happy.
4 Tampa Bay Gaines Adams - DE -- undersized pass rusher, wow -- aren't any of those available in rounds 2-7.
5 Arizona Levi Brown - OT -- If Joe Thomas were black and sucked worse, he would be Levi Brown.
6 Washington LaRon Landry - S -- I guess the Skins just had no holes to fill. They must be a lot better than I thought if they can use the #6 pick on a backup safety.
7 Minnesota Adrian Peterson - RB -- great freshman year at OU, always injured thereafter, hey! the Vikes drafted Marcus Dupree!!!
8 Atlanta Jamaal Anderson - DE -- Gaines Adams with less ability. Maybe they thought they were re-acquiring their old RB??
9 Miami Ted Ginn Jr. - WR -- If he can actually run some day soon, he can demonstrate the fact that he will never be better than a #3 receiver in the NFL.
10 Houston Amobi Okoye - DT -- When he starts drinking at age 21 and balloons to 385 even his current minimal skills will suffer. Mario Williams, now this?
11 San Francisco Patrick Willis - ILB -- the black Mike Junkin.
12 Buffalo Marshawn Lynch - RB - never let it be said that the Bills are afraid to pick out of desperation.......a good day for Anthony Thomas!
13 St. Louis Adam Carriker - DE -- white guy who plays hard. Boy! Can't find those guys at a JC anywhere in the Northwest, a real good selection.................. in round 5.
14 NY Jets Darrelle Revis - CB -- On the plus side, their WRs will look better during practice and may gain confidence
15 Pittsburgh Lawrence Timmons - OLB -- a poor man's Patrick Willis (see above)
16 Green Bay Justin Harrell - DT -- didn't need any skill position players after their offensive juggernaut last year. Could have acquired a veteran player with similar skills for virtually nothing.
17 Denver Jarvis Moss - DE -- will be about the 5th best Moss in the league
18 Cincinnati Leon Hall - CB -- effeminate fashion designer also plays corner?
19 Tennessee Michael Griffin - S -- Rarely seen member of the "Family Guy" family. Titans didn't need a good offensive player, I am sure Vince Young can run for 1,500 yard this year (cuz he'll have to)
20 NY Giants Aaron Ross - CB - Mistakenly thought he was Aaron Glenn or Derek Ross.
21 Jacksonville Reggie Nelson - S -- when you get a chance to pick the 4th or 5th best safety in the draft, what real choice do you have?
22 Cleveland Brady Quinn - QB -- I am not sure if I recall -- did anyone give up a #1 and a #2 for Ron Powlus the FIRST time around?!?!?
23 Kansas City Dwayne Bowe - WR -- If the Chiefs decide to employ the "run out there for a while and try to get open while we wait for you for 6 seconds" offense, Bowe's play at LSU should come in handy.
24 New England Brandon Meriweather - S -- Have all NFL teams decided to employ a "4 safeties at a time" defensive philosophy?
25 Carolina Jon Beason - OLB -- because low first is where the great OLB's really come from. I mean, LT, Cornelius Bennett, they were low #1's right?
26 Dallas Anthony Spencer - DE -- can he hold for kicks? No? Then they don't need him.
27 New Orleans Robert Meachem - WR -- Take Alvin Harper and remove all of his skill and big-play ability -- you got Bobby Meachem, glad to see he landed on his feet after the Yankees!
28 San Francisco Joe Staley - OT -- who?
29 Baltimore Ben Grubbs - OG -- Because that was really the problem on offense last year, bad guard play. McNair might have actually scored some points in the playoffs with a little better guard play!
30 San Diego Craig Davis - WR -- Wasn't he on "The Guiding Light"? I guess getting 6 yards a punt return (instead of 5) is considered vital to the Chargers
31 Chicago Greg Olsen - TE -- Jeremy Shockey stoned, drunk, in a roid rage and with a serious injury is only slightly better than Greg Olson, so yeah, first round pick? Yep. Gotta do it. Wasn't Pete Metzelaars or Kyle Brady around to acquire?
32 Indianapolis Anthony Gonzalez - WR -- as the Super Bowl champs, they felt they needed to expand their fan base and acquire the best Hispanic wideout available. They may or may not have done so.
1 Oakland JaMarcus Russell - QB -- Congrats Raiders fans! You just picked a fatter, less athletic Daunte Culpepper who will be playing behind a Swiss cheese line. A good pick -- if you are Andrew Walter or Josh McCown.
2 Detroit Calvin Johnson - WR -- Millen really knows how to pick quality receivers. Hopefully he holds his trade value as well as did Mike Williams.
3 Cleveland Joe Thomas - OT -- Joining the long line of great white left tackles from the Midwest.......that ended in about 1973. When he is playing guard in 3 years for Arizona, Browns fans will not be happy.
4 Tampa Bay Gaines Adams - DE -- undersized pass rusher, wow -- aren't any of those available in rounds 2-7.
5 Arizona Levi Brown - OT -- If Joe Thomas were black and sucked worse, he would be Levi Brown.
6 Washington LaRon Landry - S -- I guess the Skins just had no holes to fill. They must be a lot better than I thought if they can use the #6 pick on a backup safety.
7 Minnesota Adrian Peterson - RB -- great freshman year at OU, always injured thereafter, hey! the Vikes drafted Marcus Dupree!!!
8 Atlanta Jamaal Anderson - DE -- Gaines Adams with less ability. Maybe they thought they were re-acquiring their old RB??
9 Miami Ted Ginn Jr. - WR -- If he can actually run some day soon, he can demonstrate the fact that he will never be better than a #3 receiver in the NFL.
10 Houston Amobi Okoye - DT -- When he starts drinking at age 21 and balloons to 385 even his current minimal skills will suffer. Mario Williams, now this?
11 San Francisco Patrick Willis - ILB -- the black Mike Junkin.
12 Buffalo Marshawn Lynch - RB - never let it be said that the Bills are afraid to pick out of desperation.......a good day for Anthony Thomas!
13 St. Louis Adam Carriker - DE -- white guy who plays hard. Boy! Can't find those guys at a JC anywhere in the Northwest, a real good selection.................. in round 5.
14 NY Jets Darrelle Revis - CB -- On the plus side, their WRs will look better during practice and may gain confidence
15 Pittsburgh Lawrence Timmons - OLB -- a poor man's Patrick Willis (see above)
16 Green Bay Justin Harrell - DT -- didn't need any skill position players after their offensive juggernaut last year. Could have acquired a veteran player with similar skills for virtually nothing.
17 Denver Jarvis Moss - DE -- will be about the 5th best Moss in the league
18 Cincinnati Leon Hall - CB -- effeminate fashion designer also plays corner?
19 Tennessee Michael Griffin - S -- Rarely seen member of the "Family Guy" family. Titans didn't need a good offensive player, I am sure Vince Young can run for 1,500 yard this year (cuz he'll have to)
20 NY Giants Aaron Ross - CB - Mistakenly thought he was Aaron Glenn or Derek Ross.
21 Jacksonville Reggie Nelson - S -- when you get a chance to pick the 4th or 5th best safety in the draft, what real choice do you have?
22 Cleveland Brady Quinn - QB -- I am not sure if I recall -- did anyone give up a #1 and a #2 for Ron Powlus the FIRST time around?!?!?
23 Kansas City Dwayne Bowe - WR -- If the Chiefs decide to employ the "run out there for a while and try to get open while we wait for you for 6 seconds" offense, Bowe's play at LSU should come in handy.
24 New England Brandon Meriweather - S -- Have all NFL teams decided to employ a "4 safeties at a time" defensive philosophy?
25 Carolina Jon Beason - OLB -- because low first is where the great OLB's really come from. I mean, LT, Cornelius Bennett, they were low #1's right?
26 Dallas Anthony Spencer - DE -- can he hold for kicks? No? Then they don't need him.
27 New Orleans Robert Meachem - WR -- Take Alvin Harper and remove all of his skill and big-play ability -- you got Bobby Meachem, glad to see he landed on his feet after the Yankees!
28 San Francisco Joe Staley - OT -- who?
29 Baltimore Ben Grubbs - OG -- Because that was really the problem on offense last year, bad guard play. McNair might have actually scored some points in the playoffs with a little better guard play!
30 San Diego Craig Davis - WR -- Wasn't he on "The Guiding Light"? I guess getting 6 yards a punt return (instead of 5) is considered vital to the Chargers
31 Chicago Greg Olsen - TE -- Jeremy Shockey stoned, drunk, in a roid rage and with a serious injury is only slightly better than Greg Olson, so yeah, first round pick? Yep. Gotta do it. Wasn't Pete Metzelaars or Kyle Brady around to acquire?
32 Indianapolis Anthony Gonzalez - WR -- as the Super Bowl champs, they felt they needed to expand their fan base and acquire the best Hispanic wideout available. They may or may not have done so.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Anderson Cooper -- Um, Cautious
http://www.styledash.com/2007/04/26/anderson-cooper-keeps-his-underpants-on/
Unrelated -- watched a funny "Family Guy" episode last night re: gay marriage. Quote:
Peter: Ah Jasper, where'd ya get these brownies?
Jasper: They're from a bakery in the West Quahog Gay District. I thought they'd help my depression.
Peter: Oh, I can see why, oh my god, they pack so much fudge into these. Look at this, there are even a couple of nuts lodged in there.
Unrelated -- watched a funny "Family Guy" episode last night re: gay marriage. Quote:
Peter: Ah Jasper, where'd ya get these brownies?
Jasper: They're from a bakery in the West Quahog Gay District. I thought they'd help my depression.
Peter: Oh, I can see why, oh my god, they pack so much fudge into these. Look at this, there are even a couple of nuts lodged in there.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Charles Grant to get $20MM Guaranteed from Saints
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2850322.
I can only describe this decision as "puzzling." In 80 games as a pro, Grant has 36 sacks (one sack every 2.2 games) but over the past 32 games he has 8.5 sacks (one every 3.76 games). I guess maybe the Saints just have a ton of money to spend. But I am not sure if it makes much sense to re-sign a player in decline who has become so desperate that he has hired a speed coach to try to regain his lost ability.
Al S., any thoughts?
I can only describe this decision as "puzzling." In 80 games as a pro, Grant has 36 sacks (one sack every 2.2 games) but over the past 32 games he has 8.5 sacks (one every 3.76 games). I guess maybe the Saints just have a ton of money to spend. But I am not sure if it makes much sense to re-sign a player in decline who has become so desperate that he has hired a speed coach to try to regain his lost ability.
Al S., any thoughts?
Congress to Send "End the War" Bill to Bush
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20070426/us-iraq
The bill is due to arrive on Bush's desk May 1 -- 4 years after Bush's storied "Mission Accomplished" banner flew on the aircraft carrier.
The vote in the Senate was 51-46. Lindsey Graham and Tim Johnson were absent, as was ................John McCain! Now, I suppose, if McCain wants to suddenly return to the sane-2000-election-McCain he can say, "I did not vote against that bill. I wasn't even there..."
Joe-mentum Lieberman and 45 of the remining 47 GOP Senators voted against the bill, including Minnesota's own Norm Coleman. Coleman's vote forever links him with the failed Bush policy in Iraq and, barring some extremely unforeseen improvement in Iraq, it will brings an end to his career as the senior Senator from Minnesota.
Coleman has always been masterful at avoiding votes that would mark him as a Bush whore -- for example, he always waits until the last second to vote on ANWR oil drilling to see if the GOP needs him to pass the bill. But I guess the truth is that old Norm's lips are still as firmly planted to GWB as Michelle Bachman wishes hers were.
Unless Coleman's 2008 opponent is a serial killer or child molester (or, I guess, Mike Hatch), all I think s/he will need to do is say, "I would vote to end the war, Norm wouldn't." Another Dem' pickup in the Senate.
The bill is due to arrive on Bush's desk May 1 -- 4 years after Bush's storied "Mission Accomplished" banner flew on the aircraft carrier.
The vote in the Senate was 51-46. Lindsey Graham and Tim Johnson were absent, as was ................John McCain! Now, I suppose, if McCain wants to suddenly return to the sane-2000-election-McCain he can say, "I did not vote against that bill. I wasn't even there..."
Joe-mentum Lieberman and 45 of the remining 47 GOP Senators voted against the bill, including Minnesota's own Norm Coleman. Coleman's vote forever links him with the failed Bush policy in Iraq and, barring some extremely unforeseen improvement in Iraq, it will brings an end to his career as the senior Senator from Minnesota.
Coleman has always been masterful at avoiding votes that would mark him as a Bush whore -- for example, he always waits until the last second to vote on ANWR oil drilling to see if the GOP needs him to pass the bill. But I guess the truth is that old Norm's lips are still as firmly planted to GWB as Michelle Bachman wishes hers were.
Unless Coleman's 2008 opponent is a serial killer or child molester (or, I guess, Mike Hatch), all I think s/he will need to do is say, "I would vote to end the war, Norm wouldn't." Another Dem' pickup in the Senate.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Rick Carlisle -- Quitter
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2848972
Now, explain to me how as a sportswriter you write ANY column about the 2006-07 Indiana Pacers and don't mention the disastrous trade for Mike Dunleavy and Troy Murphy??? The Pacers were 20-18 when they traded Al Harrington and Steven Jackson for the overpaid ultra-white duo. After the trade they went 15-29.
Rick Carlisle apparently won't be coaching next year, but Randy Wittman will???? And I also haven't seen Mike Woodson's name on the fired list yet........
Now, explain to me how as a sportswriter you write ANY column about the 2006-07 Indiana Pacers and don't mention the disastrous trade for Mike Dunleavy and Troy Murphy??? The Pacers were 20-18 when they traded Al Harrington and Steven Jackson for the overpaid ultra-white duo. After the trade they went 15-29.
Rick Carlisle apparently won't be coaching next year, but Randy Wittman will???? And I also haven't seen Mike Woodson's name on the fired list yet........
NFL Trade
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2848789
Subtitle -- {Your Favorite Team} Sits on Its Ass, Does Nothing
Subtitle -- {Your Favorite Team} Sits on Its Ass, Does Nothing
American Idol Haikus -- Final 6
1. Chris:
Clapton can't sing well
Neither can Chris, so...good choice
Sadly, he'll advance.
72 out of 100
2. Melinda
Didn't like the song
But she performed it nicely
Another good week
90 out of 100
3. Blake
Dictionary word:
"Listless" -- see Blake's "Imagine"
Wake me when he's done
65 out of 100
4. Phil
"People Like You, Phil"
I am not one of those folks
Garth Brooks is crying
70 out of 100
5. Lakisha
I greatly preferred
Fantasia Barrino's song,
Pack your bags, Kiki.
64 out of 100
6. Jordan
Very brave song choice
Could have been an awful mess
Instead she was best.
93 out of 100
Last -- Blake, Kiki, Phil
Boot goes to big Lakisha
I want Chris gone NOW!
Clapton can't sing well
Neither can Chris, so...good choice
Sadly, he'll advance.
72 out of 100
2. Melinda
Didn't like the song
But she performed it nicely
Another good week
90 out of 100
3. Blake
Dictionary word:
"Listless" -- see Blake's "Imagine"
Wake me when he's done
65 out of 100
4. Phil
"People Like You, Phil"
I am not one of those folks
Garth Brooks is crying
70 out of 100
5. Lakisha
I greatly preferred
Fantasia Barrino's song,
Pack your bags, Kiki.
64 out of 100
6. Jordan
Very brave song choice
Could have been an awful mess
Instead she was best.
93 out of 100
Last -- Blake, Kiki, Phil
Boot goes to big Lakisha
I want Chris gone NOW!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Coach of The Year -- Sam Mitchell
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2847536
Kind of a silly decision. I mean, what has happened in Toronto is that the new GM completely turned over the roster and made the team a lot better. But I guess Sam didn't screw it up, so he deserves credit for that.......
The guy who voted for Isiah as the 3rd best coach in the league should lose his voting rights...........immediately.
Kind of a silly decision. I mean, what has happened in Toronto is that the new GM completely turned over the roster and made the team a lot better. But I guess Sam didn't screw it up, so he deserves credit for that.......
The guy who voted for Isiah as the 3rd best coach in the league should lose his voting rights...........immediately.
Monday, April 23, 2007
NBA Police Blotter
Some more great work from the guys at I Heart Celtics: http://iheartceltics.blogspot.com/2007/04/while-2006-2007-regular-season-was_23.html
Michael Vick -- Kinda Maybe Gives $10,000
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2842466
OK, first of all, on a net worth equivalency, Vick giving $10,000 would be like me giving $1. And I would probably miss the $1 more.
That said, Vick isn't even giving the $10,000!! What the article says is that his Vick Foundation is collecting money from OTHER PEOPLE to give to the United Way!!
Here is how a charitable foundation works: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charitable_foundation. So, for example, assume that the Vick Foundation has a $4,000,000 endowment. Every year it MUST give out 5% of that endowment ($200,000 in my example). But wait! Administrative and operating expenses count toward the $200,000. In addition, you only need to distribute 5% of what you start the year with. Your gain may be greater than the 5% you need to distribute.
So, assume that the $4,000,000 earns 10% and that the Foundation must distribute $200,000. There is $200,000 in gain available to pay "expenses" like salaries for the head of the foundation and all his brothers, sisters, etc. In Vick's case, it looks like his mom and brother Marcus are involved: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Vick#Charity_work
Largesse to yourself and family members is a specific selling point for Foundations: http://www.savewealth.com/planning/estate/foundations/ Sometimes the head of the foundation takes a salary based upon a percentage of the money that is in the foundation (say 10% each year). So, assume the Vick Foundation gets $10,000 from others -- Michael Vick or his relatives may be getting a salary of $1,000 extra due to the increased funding.
So, in summary -- if this story is correct and I am correct, the headline should read, "Communities to pay Va Tech $10,000 and Michael Vick's family an extra $1,000."
1985 Draft Lottery Conspiracy?
Featured in Bill Simmons' blog today. Around the 4:26 remaining mark, look at the bent corner of the envelope that Stern eventually picks -- that is the Knicks' envelope.
Chevy Chase -- Rips His Dead Mom
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/movies/articles/_a/chevy-chase-claims-mom-beat-abused-him/20070423071609990001
As pathetic as "Funny Farm." You are 63, let it go!
JSH
As pathetic as "Funny Farm." You are 63, let it go!
JSH
Friday, April 20, 2007
Father of the Year Voting Closed -- Alec Baldwin Doesn't Win
http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/20/alecs-threatening-message/
Look, I know kids can push your buttons, but basically threatening an 11 year old? Maybe you need some anger management counseling.
HM
Look, I know kids can push your buttons, but basically threatening an 11 year old? Maybe you need some anger management counseling.
HM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Timberwolves Post-Mortem
What the stats say: http://aol.nba.com/timberwolves/stats/
To be a winning NBA team you have to have at least one significant statistical advantage over your opponent in some significant category. The Wolves have none.
On the flip side, there are three categories where the Wolves suffer: 1) they make almost two 3-point shots a game less than their opponents, 2) they don't offensive rebound, and 3) they foul more despite getting fewer steals+blocks.
What do the stats tell you as an opponent? A) The Wolves won't take many three-point shots (they actually make a higher percentage than do opponents, they just don't take them); B) When the Wolves miss their two-point shots, they won't ever get an offensive board; and C) the Wolves are not an athletic team and not a team that plays particularly solid defense (they foul) or exciting defense (they don't get steals or blocks).
The end result is that the Wolves go 32-50 and are the sixth worst team in the NBA.
Add in the fact that they are VERY poorly coached (so they tend to lose close games) and have guys under contract forever and there appears to be little hope on the horizon.
Gaping holes: athletic defensive players (I guess Ndudi Ebi didn't fit the bill, maybe Josh Howard would have?); Offensive rebounding and shotblocking; three-point shooting.
You can pick 3-point shooters off the trash heap for nothing (Jason Kapono anyone? Fred Hoiberg?). You probably need to address defense and shotblocking in the draft (Hibbert, UConn's guy). Then you need a decent GM to actually locate some athletic players who can be had for cheap.
Oh, and you need a new coach.
Good luck.
To be a winning NBA team you have to have at least one significant statistical advantage over your opponent in some significant category. The Wolves have none.
On the flip side, there are three categories where the Wolves suffer: 1) they make almost two 3-point shots a game less than their opponents, 2) they don't offensive rebound, and 3) they foul more despite getting fewer steals+blocks.
What do the stats tell you as an opponent? A) The Wolves won't take many three-point shots (they actually make a higher percentage than do opponents, they just don't take them); B) When the Wolves miss their two-point shots, they won't ever get an offensive board; and C) the Wolves are not an athletic team and not a team that plays particularly solid defense (they foul) or exciting defense (they don't get steals or blocks).
The end result is that the Wolves go 32-50 and are the sixth worst team in the NBA.
Add in the fact that they are VERY poorly coached (so they tend to lose close games) and have guys under contract forever and there appears to be little hope on the horizon.
Gaping holes: athletic defensive players (I guess Ndudi Ebi didn't fit the bill, maybe Josh Howard would have?); Offensive rebounding and shotblocking; three-point shooting.
You can pick 3-point shooters off the trash heap for nothing (Jason Kapono anyone? Fred Hoiberg?). You probably need to address defense and shotblocking in the draft (Hibbert, UConn's guy). Then you need a decent GM to actually locate some athletic players who can be had for cheap.
Oh, and you need a new coach.
Good luck.
Post Mortem on Sanjaya: Oh Why-uh?
What happened to Sanjaya's voting block? He wasn't even bottom 3 the previous week, but then plummeted to last. Some thoughts:
1) His sister's Hooter's pic and naked behind a guitar pic probably hurt him with the voters who voted for him b/c he was a "nice Indian boy."
2) The South is starting to rise again -- every singer in the Bottom 3 this week was a Blue Stater (Sanjaya, Lakisha, Blake -- WA, MD, WA). While Idol voters skew southern anyway, inagine what the voting pattern is on a "Country" night.!
3) There started to be a rift on "Vote For The Worst" regarding whether it was fair to vote for Sanjaya when Chris and Phil both sucked so bad. Some Sanjaya voters were left to ponder whether they had, in fact, actually voted for the worst singer.
4) He sucks.
HM
1) His sister's Hooter's pic and naked behind a guitar pic probably hurt him with the voters who voted for him b/c he was a "nice Indian boy."
2) The South is starting to rise again -- every singer in the Bottom 3 this week was a Blue Stater (Sanjaya, Lakisha, Blake -- WA, MD, WA). While Idol voters skew southern anyway, inagine what the voting pattern is on a "Country" night.!
3) There started to be a rift on "Vote For The Worst" regarding whether it was fair to vote for Sanjaya when Chris and Phil both sucked so bad. Some Sanjaya voters were left to ponder whether they had, in fact, actually voted for the worst singer.
4) He sucks.
HM
Sanjaya -- Good bye-a
Watch the video here. http://us.video.aol.com/video.full.adp?mode=0&pmmsid=1891132&referer=http%3A//television.aol.com/franchise/top5.adp.
Every day AOL posts its top 5 TV clips from the day before. You can vote for your favorite. Sanjaya booted off? 66% of the vote.
Every day AOL posts its top 5 TV clips from the day before. You can vote for your favorite. Sanjaya booted off? 66% of the vote.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Keith Clinkscales Rips Jason Whitlock
http://sports.aol.com/ncaabb/story/_a/whitlock-provides-diversion-from-imus/20070417114409990001
To Clinkscales' credit, he does stop (just) short of calling Whitlock an "Uncle Tom" (using the code of Whitlock "flowing with the currents").
Samples -- Whitlock is cowardly. Whitlock is as bad as Imus. Whitlock unfairly attacks hip hop. Whitlock is the opposite of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.
What is most distressing is Clinkscales' opinion that, no matter what flaws you might possibly find in hip hop, people need it because it gives black people jobs.............The same observation could be made about ANYTHING you can make money off that is otherwise undesirable. Example: Meth -- sure it is a bad industry, but it provides money and jobs for poor rural whites!
Clinkscales' argument is so poorly constructed that I almost suspect that there is no "Keith Clinkscales." Instead he is a straw man invented by Jason Whitlock to make Whitlock's arguments look even stronger.
To Clinkscales' credit, he does stop (just) short of calling Whitlock an "Uncle Tom" (using the code of Whitlock "flowing with the currents").
Samples -- Whitlock is cowardly. Whitlock is as bad as Imus. Whitlock unfairly attacks hip hop. Whitlock is the opposite of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.
What is most distressing is Clinkscales' opinion that, no matter what flaws you might possibly find in hip hop, people need it because it gives black people jobs.............The same observation could be made about ANYTHING you can make money off that is otherwise undesirable. Example: Meth -- sure it is a bad industry, but it provides money and jobs for poor rural whites!
Clinkscales' argument is so poorly constructed that I almost suspect that there is no "Keith Clinkscales." Instead he is a straw man invented by Jason Whitlock to make Whitlock's arguments look even stronger.
Iraq
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/iraq-war-violence/20070412050609990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001
On the plus side, John McCain is so happy at how things are going he may plan a vacation there next month.
On the plus side, John McCain is so happy at how things are going he may plan a vacation there next month.
American Idol -- Country Night
From Worst to Best
7) Chris -- "Mayberry" by Rascal Flatts -- so horribly off tune and full of his little senseless runs that even his own southern fans will have to concede he sucked. Chris actually defended his awful singing by telling Simon "Nasally is a type of singing; I do it every week." Perhaps realizing that he was digging his hole deeper with every word, he went to the Phil S. school of getting votes, offering his condolences to Virginia Tech "where I have a lot of friends." If he survives this woeful effort, Chris plans to give a shout out to the troops in Iraq after next week.
Grade -- F -- 55
6) Sanjaya -- "Something to Talk About" -- looking like Aunt Jemima in an awful do-rag, Sanjaya demonstrated a great ability to pick songs (small range of notes, song moves quickly, he can basically whisper it) but little ability to perform them. Still better than Chris.
Grade -- D minus -- 61
5) Phil -- "Where the Blacktop Ends" -- Not great, not awful. His past performances have been so lackluster that when he actually does a decent job everyone wants to annoit him the new star on the horizon. He is a sub-par performer with an OK voice.
Grade -- C minus -- 72
4) Lakisha -- "Jesus Take the Wheel" -- a favorite song of this Blog (having been featured at least 3 times in posts), I disagreed with the judges who said that it was a poor song choice. It was a GOOD song choice (name another country tune that Kiki could have done). It was just not performed up to her standard. If you go buy "Some Hearts" you will be amazed at the array of notes that they have Carrie Underwood hit on the album. Lakisha came close, but not close enough. Given the work by the other two ladies, she may be at risk.
Grade -- C minus -- 73
3) Blake -- "When the Stars Go Blue" -- Isn't this the exact same performance he gave on Latin Night and on Classics Night? I mean, come on. Nothing says country like sweater-vest. Good enough to advance.
Grade -- C -- 76
2) Melinda -- "Trouble Is a Woman" -- excellent, excellent work. There is really not much more to say. I liked that Simon demanded that she stop the "Who, Me, Good?" act.
Grade -- A -- 95
1) Jordin -- "With a Broken Wing" -- This is a very difficult song to sing. The verse is slow and can really drag and become boring. The chorus is extremely challenging and required that you be dead-on with the notes. Not only did she hit all of the notes, she seemed to understand the song and conveyed the story within the song. Best performance by anyone so far this year.
Grade -- A plus -- 99.
7) Chris -- "Mayberry" by Rascal Flatts -- so horribly off tune and full of his little senseless runs that even his own southern fans will have to concede he sucked. Chris actually defended his awful singing by telling Simon "Nasally is a type of singing; I do it every week." Perhaps realizing that he was digging his hole deeper with every word, he went to the Phil S. school of getting votes, offering his condolences to Virginia Tech "where I have a lot of friends." If he survives this woeful effort, Chris plans to give a shout out to the troops in Iraq after next week.
Grade -- F -- 55
6) Sanjaya -- "Something to Talk About" -- looking like Aunt Jemima in an awful do-rag, Sanjaya demonstrated a great ability to pick songs (small range of notes, song moves quickly, he can basically whisper it) but little ability to perform them. Still better than Chris.
Grade -- D minus -- 61
5) Phil -- "Where the Blacktop Ends" -- Not great, not awful. His past performances have been so lackluster that when he actually does a decent job everyone wants to annoit him the new star on the horizon. He is a sub-par performer with an OK voice.
Grade -- C minus -- 72
4) Lakisha -- "Jesus Take the Wheel" -- a favorite song of this Blog (having been featured at least 3 times in posts), I disagreed with the judges who said that it was a poor song choice. It was a GOOD song choice (name another country tune that Kiki could have done). It was just not performed up to her standard. If you go buy "Some Hearts" you will be amazed at the array of notes that they have Carrie Underwood hit on the album. Lakisha came close, but not close enough. Given the work by the other two ladies, she may be at risk.
Grade -- C minus -- 73
3) Blake -- "When the Stars Go Blue" -- Isn't this the exact same performance he gave on Latin Night and on Classics Night? I mean, come on. Nothing says country like sweater-vest. Good enough to advance.
Grade -- C -- 76
2) Melinda -- "Trouble Is a Woman" -- excellent, excellent work. There is really not much more to say. I liked that Simon demanded that she stop the "Who, Me, Good?" act.
Grade -- A -- 95
1) Jordin -- "With a Broken Wing" -- This is a very difficult song to sing. The verse is slow and can really drag and become boring. The chorus is extremely challenging and required that you be dead-on with the notes. Not only did she hit all of the notes, she seemed to understand the song and conveyed the story within the song. Best performance by anyone so far this year.
Grade -- A plus -- 99.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Richard Gere
http://www.aolvideoblog.com/2007/04/17/richard-gere-in-hot-water/
Um, bizarre on so many levels. At least he hadn't passed by a pet store on his way there!
Um, bizarre on so many levels. At least he hadn't passed by a pet store on his way there!
The Plays of a 23-year old School Shooter
http://news.aol.com/virginia-tech-shootings/cho-seung-hui/_a/richard-mcbeef-cover-page/20070417134109990001
http://news.aol.com/virginia-tech-shootings/cho-seung-hui/_a/mr-brownstone-title-page/20070417141309990001
While "Richard McBeef" is not in danger of winning a Tony award or Oscar, "Mr. Brownstone" may be the worst assignment ever handed in by a college student. It lacks even the originality of Uncle Rico's football video from "Napoleon Dynamite."
http://news.aol.com/virginia-tech-shootings/cho-seung-hui/_a/mr-brownstone-title-page/20070417141309990001
While "Richard McBeef" is not in danger of winning a Tony award or Oscar, "Mr. Brownstone" may be the worst assignment ever handed in by a college student. It lacks even the originality of Uncle Rico's football video from "Napoleon Dynamite."
Tommy Thompson -- the GOP Joe Biden
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thenewswire/comments/2007/04/16/46012
What exactly is it with people who live in Wisconsin? First Reggie White and then this guy?
At least Tommy stopped short of saying that Asians can "turn a television into a watch" ala White. But he is still in the race, so stay tuned!
What exactly is it with people who live in Wisconsin? First Reggie White and then this guy?
At least Tommy stopped short of saying that Asians can "turn a television into a watch" ala White. But he is still in the race, so stay tuned!
Baseball Tryouts Tonight -- PM At Home ill
After a year in which he got ripped off in the tryout process, the Playstation Maven was excited about making the final round of baseball tryouts tonight. Problem is..........he has a virus and is missing school today. He will give it a go, but there is nothing more pathetic as an evaluator than watching a lethargic baseball player. Yuck. Oh well, at least he moved up one team this year and if he stays on "B" he will probably get to play pitcher and catcher more often.
On a brighter note, PM's all-star AAU basketball squad won 60-25, 58-14, 68-22, and 50-28 for an AAU title this past weekend (a kid hit a 3 at the buzzer in the title game to bring his team within 22). Of the 9 guys, PM is the 8th best.
On a brighter note, PM's all-star AAU basketball squad won 60-25, 58-14, 68-22, and 50-28 for an AAU title this past weekend (a kid hit a 3 at the buzzer in the title game to bring his team within 22). Of the 9 guys, PM is the 8th best.
Monday, April 16, 2007
NBA Draft Scenarios
1. Oden and Durant are both coming out, for some reason nbadraft.net has UNC's Wright going #3. The Hawks are currently the 4th worst team and could get Al Horford..................................................but...............they traded that pick to Phoenix for Joe Johnson. The pick is top 3 protected and the Hawks are currently set to pick #4. Ouch..................................................................................................................................2. Isiah made that brilliant Eddy Curry deal (Eddy, per Charley Rosen, a better inside player than Kevin Garnett). Anyway, as part of that deal, to get around the "you can't trade consecutive #1s" rule, Zeke allowed the Bulls the right to flip-flop picks this year. The Knicks have gone into free fall, the Bulls have soared to a #2 seed. Right now the Bulls would exercise the option and pick 6th (probably 7'2" Rob Hibbert or 7'3" Hasheem Thabeet). The Knicks? #24....................................................................3. The Pacers dealt for (and then traded) Al Harrington. Gave the Hawks a #1 but it is protected through #10 -- Pacers are probably going to pick about #12 -- Hawks will get that #12 pick..............................4. Yet another year of shameless Wolves tanking has the Timberwolves currently with 32 wins, tied for 6th, 7th and 8th worst overall with NY and Portland. as stated above, NY has reasons to win (they keep losing, Chicago gets a better pick.) The Knicks have a season ender at Charlotte (33 wins) a game I would think the Bobcats would want to lose! So, I believe the Wolves probably finish tied for 6th and 7th worst with Portland. That means the Wolves will keep their #1 and not give it to the Clippers. Even if the 14th, 13th and 12th teams win the Draft Lottery, the Wolves would still pick #10 and the pick is protected through #10.
Joey Crawford -- Ejects Tim Duncan, Challenges him to a fight
http://startelegram.typepad.com/mavs_fullcourt_press/2007/04/duncan_blasts_c.html. Let me say this -- if Joey Crawford really wants to fight Tim Duncan, I will voulnteer my services to spend every night and weekend the next 2 months trying to recruit sponsors to pay for a fight purse. I will then request that the match be more akin to a pro wrestling match so that if Crawford his the canvas Duncan can pick him up and pummel him some more.
Cedric Griffin -- Pull Your Pants Up!
http://www.aolsportsblog.com/2007/04/15/vikings-cornerbacks-saggy-pants-lead-to-jail/
If only Bill Cosby had visited Minnesota during his crusade against low-hanging pants, maybe Cedric Griffin wouldn't be headed toward an NFL suspension!!!
This leads us to the NFL's whole new "get tough" policy. OK, get arrested or questioned by police 10 times in a year -- you are an easy target. But look at Griffin -- goes somewhere and the bouncers say his trousers are hanging too low. He gets pissed, a scuffle ensues. He is arrested and charged. So....................isn't this an automatic triggering of the NFL's new policy? Right? The whole point, as I understand it, is "we don't have to wait until the courts find him guilty."
Move it down a peg, some months ago Vikings players were waiting in line at an after-hours greasy spoon dive when cops came in and told everyone to get out. The Vikings were in the back and didn't move fast enough for the cops' liking. They were arrested............but either never charged or the charges were dropped.................So, NFL discipline or not?
Warren Moon allegedly hits his wife -- suspended? What if we have a Duke Lacrosse or Juwan Howard type of incident where the accuser is ultimately deemed not at all credible? Suspension anyway? Do you at least get the wage $$$ back if you are found not guilty or charges or dropped?
Many folks in the U.S. believe that it is a poor reflection on your team if you even ENTER a strip joint. Seen in a strip joint -- suspended? Filmed going to a legal brothel in Nevada -- suspended?
The NFL has opened a huge can of worms here.
If only Bill Cosby had visited Minnesota during his crusade against low-hanging pants, maybe Cedric Griffin wouldn't be headed toward an NFL suspension!!!
This leads us to the NFL's whole new "get tough" policy. OK, get arrested or questioned by police 10 times in a year -- you are an easy target. But look at Griffin -- goes somewhere and the bouncers say his trousers are hanging too low. He gets pissed, a scuffle ensues. He is arrested and charged. So....................isn't this an automatic triggering of the NFL's new policy? Right? The whole point, as I understand it, is "we don't have to wait until the courts find him guilty."
Move it down a peg, some months ago Vikings players were waiting in line at an after-hours greasy spoon dive when cops came in and told everyone to get out. The Vikings were in the back and didn't move fast enough for the cops' liking. They were arrested............but either never charged or the charges were dropped.................So, NFL discipline or not?
Warren Moon allegedly hits his wife -- suspended? What if we have a Duke Lacrosse or Juwan Howard type of incident where the accuser is ultimately deemed not at all credible? Suspension anyway? Do you at least get the wage $$$ back if you are found not guilty or charges or dropped?
Many folks in the U.S. believe that it is a poor reflection on your team if you even ENTER a strip joint. Seen in a strip joint -- suspended? Filmed going to a legal brothel in Nevada -- suspended?
The NFL has opened a huge can of worms here.
Friday, April 13, 2007
New Jersey's Finest Accept Imus Apology
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/articles/_a/cbs-fires-don-imus-from-radio-show/20070411183809990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001.
OK, now that you lost your job, yeah, I accept your apology and hope everyone can move on.
This is the worst sort of self-dealing. Assume that someone I do not know comes up to co-workers while we are working at a large law firm and, trying to somehow be funny, says, "HM really is a fat, ugly MoFo. I bet he probably has to get sex from his pet dogs, don't you?" I don't hear the comment and then someone brings it to my attention. I go to upper management and make it clear that I was highly offended and want swift action taken against the offensive party. Management makes him apologize to me in person in my office. I don't say I forgive him. He gets fired.
Do I THEN come out the next day and say, "By the way, I am a big man, I accept his apology and I want to move on now"?? Not if I have any sense of decency. If I wanted to accept his apology I should have done so when it might have helped him keep his job!!!!
Rutgers ladies, you can't have it both ways. Either you accept the apology right away and try to save his job or you say what he did is unforgiveable and no, you do not accept his apology.
OK, now that you lost your job, yeah, I accept your apology and hope everyone can move on.
This is the worst sort of self-dealing. Assume that someone I do not know comes up to co-workers while we are working at a large law firm and, trying to somehow be funny, says, "HM really is a fat, ugly MoFo. I bet he probably has to get sex from his pet dogs, don't you?" I don't hear the comment and then someone brings it to my attention. I go to upper management and make it clear that I was highly offended and want swift action taken against the offensive party. Management makes him apologize to me in person in my office. I don't say I forgive him. He gets fired.
Do I THEN come out the next day and say, "By the way, I am a big man, I accept his apology and I want to move on now"?? Not if I have any sense of decency. If I wanted to accept his apology I should have done so when it might have helped him keep his job!!!!
Rutgers ladies, you can't have it both ways. Either you accept the apology right away and try to save his job or you say what he did is unforgiveable and no, you do not accept his apology.
Patridge Family Alum say "C'mon Get Di-vorced!!"
Danny Bonaduce, hyperactive and hyper-possessive sex addict, finally getting divorced from frigid, shrewish wife: http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/10/bonaduce-i-dont-want-a-divorce-this-sucks-a/
My comments? She is clearly not singing -- "I Think I Love You" (lyrics)?
Danny claimed, "I'll Meet You Halfway" but she replied "That is not bet-ter than no way."
"I Woke Up in Love This Morning" -- with someone else
"I Can Feel Your Heartbeat" when I lay the divorce papers on your che-eh-est.
Next step for Bonaduce? He was rumored to have said: "Point Meeeeee ----------------In The Direction Of Al-bu-quer-queeeeeee".
My comments? She is clearly not singing -- "I Think I Love You" (lyrics)?
Danny claimed, "I'll Meet You Halfway" but she replied "That is not bet-ter than no way."
"I Woke Up in Love This Morning" -- with someone else
"I Can Feel Your Heartbeat" when I lay the divorce papers on your che-eh-est.
Next step for Bonaduce? He was rumored to have said: "Point Meeeeee ----------------In The Direction Of Al-bu-quer-queeeeeee".
Why Can't Kobe Win?
Kobe gets 31 a game, has Lamar Odom (Odom is #30 in the league in Efficiency, Tracy McGrady is #31) and the #1 or #2 coach of all-time in Phil Jackson.
So........why can't Kobe's squad go more than 40-39 and on the verge of a one-and-done in the playoffs? (IF they make the playoffs -- which they may not.)
Well, I think you need to compare Kobe in 2006-07 with Michael Jordan in 1987-88. Jordan's team won 50 games and their first-round series. They were coached by Doug Collins (not Phil Jackson). The five starters were: Jordan, Sam Vincent, Dave Corzine, Charles Oakley, Brad Sellers. Assuming as I do that Lamar Odom is a better player than Charles Oakley, you certainly have to give the edge to Kobe's supporting cast and coach!
Why could Jordan's squad win 50 while Kobe limps in around .500? Here goes:
Jordan entered the league at 21, Kobe at 18. Taking Jordan's 8 seasons (one of which he barely played in due to a broken foot) and Kobe's 11 seasons, what do we see on a steals+blocks analysis:
Kobe (11 seasons through age 28 -- 781 games) -- 1,166 steals, 466 blocks
Jordan (8 seasons through age 28 -- 509 games) -- 1,594 steals, 623 blocks
Kobe -- 2.08 steals+blocks/game
Jordan -- 4.36 s+b/game
So, for the early part of his career, Kobe is less than half the defensive player that Michael was overall. Season vs. season? Things get far worse for Kobe -- Jordan in 1987-88: 380 steals+blocks; Kobe this year: 142. Kobe today is 37% the defensive player that Jordan was in 1987-88.
In addition, Michael in 1987-88 had a 1.9/1 assist-to-turnover ratio. Kobe's ratio this year -- 1.6 to 1. Close enough you say? Well, after 1987-88 Jordan proceeded to have a ratio of OVER 2 to 1 for 7 of the next 8 years!!!!!!!!! Kobe -- never. He has NEVER had 2 assists to 1 turnover in a full season, EVER. So, Jordan at age 24 was ALREADY a better ballhandler than Kobe and was soon to become a MUCH better ballhandler than Kobe likely ever will be.
Kobe (as a ballhandler) is currently 84% the player Jordan was in 1987-88.
So, why did Jordan's team win 20-25% more games in 1987-88 than the Lakers will win this year? Because Jordan's team had Jordan, and all Kobe's team has is Kobe.
Assume that an off guard is 1/3 scorer, 1/3 defender and 1/3 ballhandler. On an overall basis, Kobe is 90% the scorer that Michael was (31.5 to 35.0), 37% the defender and 84% the ballhandler. So, overall, Kobe gives you about 70% of what Michael did in 1987-88. You would then expect, all other things being equal, that you put today's Kobe on the 1987-88 Bulls and they win
only 35 games.
It is really a tribute to the coaching acumen of Phil Jackson that the team has somehow remained above .500 and may win 41-43 games!!
Take that, Jemele Hill!!
HM
So........why can't Kobe's squad go more than 40-39 and on the verge of a one-and-done in the playoffs? (IF they make the playoffs -- which they may not.)
Well, I think you need to compare Kobe in 2006-07 with Michael Jordan in 1987-88. Jordan's team won 50 games and their first-round series. They were coached by Doug Collins (not Phil Jackson). The five starters were: Jordan, Sam Vincent, Dave Corzine, Charles Oakley, Brad Sellers. Assuming as I do that Lamar Odom is a better player than Charles Oakley, you certainly have to give the edge to Kobe's supporting cast and coach!
Why could Jordan's squad win 50 while Kobe limps in around .500? Here goes:
Jordan entered the league at 21, Kobe at 18. Taking Jordan's 8 seasons (one of which he barely played in due to a broken foot) and Kobe's 11 seasons, what do we see on a steals+blocks analysis:
Kobe (11 seasons through age 28 -- 781 games) -- 1,166 steals, 466 blocks
Jordan (8 seasons through age 28 -- 509 games) -- 1,594 steals, 623 blocks
Kobe -- 2.08 steals+blocks/game
Jordan -- 4.36 s+b/game
So, for the early part of his career, Kobe is less than half the defensive player that Michael was overall. Season vs. season? Things get far worse for Kobe -- Jordan in 1987-88: 380 steals+blocks; Kobe this year: 142. Kobe today is 37% the defensive player that Jordan was in 1987-88.
In addition, Michael in 1987-88 had a 1.9/1 assist-to-turnover ratio. Kobe's ratio this year -- 1.6 to 1. Close enough you say? Well, after 1987-88 Jordan proceeded to have a ratio of OVER 2 to 1 for 7 of the next 8 years!!!!!!!!! Kobe -- never. He has NEVER had 2 assists to 1 turnover in a full season, EVER. So, Jordan at age 24 was ALREADY a better ballhandler than Kobe and was soon to become a MUCH better ballhandler than Kobe likely ever will be.
Kobe (as a ballhandler) is currently 84% the player Jordan was in 1987-88.
So, why did Jordan's team win 20-25% more games in 1987-88 than the Lakers will win this year? Because Jordan's team had Jordan, and all Kobe's team has is Kobe.
Assume that an off guard is 1/3 scorer, 1/3 defender and 1/3 ballhandler. On an overall basis, Kobe is 90% the scorer that Michael was (31.5 to 35.0), 37% the defender and 84% the ballhandler. So, overall, Kobe gives you about 70% of what Michael did in 1987-88. You would then expect, all other things being equal, that you put today's Kobe on the 1987-88 Bulls and they win
only 35 games.
It is really a tribute to the coaching acumen of Phil Jackson that the team has somehow remained above .500 and may win 41-43 games!!
Take that, Jemele Hill!!
HM
Whitlock on Don Imus
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Greg Oden
For those commentators who say, "He enjoys college. He'll stay in school." Well, they got part one right!
Giuliani -- Milk is $1.50 a gallon
http://news.aol.com/elections/president/story/_a/giuliani-off-on-price-of-milk-bread/20070411104509990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001.
Wow.
When asked about his mistake, rumor is that Giuliani replied: "First -- fuck you. Second -- I think that Republican voters care a whole lot more about my strong pro-gay, pro-abortion stance than they do about the price of milk..........oh wait.........Third -- see #1."
Wow.
When asked about his mistake, rumor is that Giuliani replied: "First -- fuck you. Second -- I think that Republican voters care a whole lot more about my strong pro-gay, pro-abortion stance than they do about the price of milk..........oh wait.........Third -- see #1."
Robert Traylor -- Headed For the Slam
Missed this one, but iheartceltics.blogspot.com has it.
Tractor, um, naive: http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070407/SPORTS0201/704070381/1004/SPORTS
Remedy for Gloria Estefan, Rob Thomas and Marc Anthony
I suggest that, to express their disdain for last night's Idol performances, they follow the lead of Stewie Griifin in this "Family Guy" clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmqm_2a_vAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmqm_2a_vAI
Katie Couric -- Rocking the Cradle of Love w/33 year old
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/tv/articles/_a/couric-dating-man-17-years-her-junior/20070411071709990002. Inspired by the Billy Idol video no doubt....
My legal advice to Katie:
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup,
WE WANT PRENUP!,
Yeaah It's something that you need to have
Cause when [he] leave yo ass [he] gone leave with half.
Word.
My legal advice to Katie:
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup,
WE WANT PRENUP!,
Yeaah It's something that you need to have
Cause when [he] leave yo ass [he] gone leave with half.
Word.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Sanjaya Gives Best Performance on Idol's Latin Night
Amazingly, I do not believe that we saw one camera shot of JLo's ass. How can you have JLo as a guest star and not show her ass? Basically Pam Anderson in a parka.
OK, back to my point. 8 performances, no A's, no B's, 2 C's, 4 D's and 2 F's. Sanajay Malakar was the best. Again, Sanjaya -- best. Here goes:
1. Sanjaya Malakar (“Besame Mucho”) - Sure he whispered the song and sure his attempts at low notes sounded like a guy who sits behind me at church who can't sing at all. But here is a fact: of the 8 contestants, he was the only one who seemed to actually understand the point of his chosen number, understand the sexy Latin theme of the night and then actually do his best job of interpreting the song.
Grade -- 72 out of 100, C minus
2- Melinda Doolittle (“Sway”) — You can now see why she is a background singer. As always, nearly perfect on the notes, but you felt like your 63 year old female relative was up there trying to convince you she was sexy. A common problem for both Melinda, LaKisha and Jordin was that they (much like Elaine Benes -- pictured) appeared to have absolutely no feel for the needed syncopation in a Latin song. All songs are not gospel songs with runs and notes held 5+ seconds.
Grade -- 71, C minus
3- Blake Lewis (Marc Anthony’s “I Need to Know”) - The song is about a guy who DESPERATELY needs to know if a girl is interested in him and is PLEADING with her to tell/show him. Blake's song was so emotionless and monotone that I could have sworn it was being performed by Data or Mr. Spock from Star Trek. And as far as a Latin feel??? I am hard-pressed to think of anything more white-bread than Blake Lewis's performance. OK, I will try -- If Eric Montross, Vern Lundquist, Pat Robertson and a polar bear teamed up to make me a Miracle Whip and fluffernutter sandwich on Wonder Bread (no crust) during a snowstorm in the Yukon using only a white plastic knife or a spork --- that sandwich-making effort would have only SLIGHTLY less Latin feel than Blake Lewis's performance.
Yet Lewis PROBABLY had the best sense of rhythm of any of the 8...........yikes.
Grade --- 67, D
4 -- LaKisha Jones (Miami Sound Machine’s “Conga”) - This effort is "irreparable harm #1" in Gloria Estafan's civil Complaint for an injunction prohibiting this group of 8 from ever again doing one of her songs. The fast parts were adequate, but the "dancing" was abysmal (Fred Barry (RIP) would have been appalled for fat dancers everywhere -- heck, so would Shirley Hemphill -- again RIP) and the slow parts of the song sounded as if they were being sung by an out of shape woman struggling to catch her breath.............oh, wait...............WHITE GUYS are famous for having no rhythm!! Are Melinda, LaKisha and Jordin (see below) all actually white guys?
I call upon all 8 contestants to review this wikipedia entry and cited resources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhythm
Grade -- 66 out of 100, D
5 - Jordin Sparks (Gloria Estefan’s “Rhythm’s Gonna Get Ya”) - Young girl, dad's a former pro athlete, probably can really dance and shake up a storm, right? Well.....no.
If the Rhythm's intent upon "get"ting Jordin she must have seen it coming and hidden herself far, far away, because I saw absolutely NO sign that she and Rhythm had ever been in the same vicinity. Irreparable harm #2 in Estefan's Complaint. Awful.
Grade -- 61 out of 100 D minus
6 - Phil Stacey (Santana’s “Maria Maria”) - What the f was with the hat? I am sorry, but looking like a buffoon is not endearing. When your voice cracks as audibly as Phil's cracked at the end of the song, I think you ought to pack your bags..............most weeks.......but amazingly there were even worse efforts on the night.
Grade -- 60 out of 100, low D minus
7 - Haley Scarnato (Gloria Estefan’s version of “Turn the Beat Around”) - Part #3 of Estafan's Complaint and almost a shoo-in to get her the injunctive relief she should seek. Haley has great legs and she tries really hard. But she is not sultry. She isn't Shakira (note to Haley, you goal here is to be kinda slutty, wear things that make your small ass look BIGGER not black shorts that make it look smaller -- Shakira, JLo, big butts). She tries, she just isn't a good singer.
Grade 40 out of 100, F.
8 - Chris Richardson (Santana’s “Smooth”) - It was as if the judges who praised him had never heard the song. Richardson's voice was all over the place -- flat, sharp, Savol-ian nonsensical runs. I was rolling on the floor, ears about to bleed, begging for it to please, please stop. I would have gladly accepted a sudden Antonella Barba wildcard entry instead.
Jimmy Fallon on SNL used to do a hilarious mock of Kevin Pollak's stint as the host of "Celebrity Poker." Fallon, dressed as Pollak, would say things like: "What would Sly Stallone say if he were here?..(starts doing bad Stallone imitation).....Yo! Adrian, get me some chips....poker chips!.........(now back as Pollak).........That was Sly Stallone...from Rocky..."
That was what it was like watching Richardson. Before commencing, Chris should have grabbed a mic' and said:
"Hey, folks at home, what if Justin Timberlake had absolutely no rhythm and couldn't sing very well and decided to try to sing "Smooth" in his sort of style........"
Almost down there with certain Bucky Covington efforts. One of the worst things I have ever encountered.
20 out of 100. F minus
OK, back to my point. 8 performances, no A's, no B's, 2 C's, 4 D's and 2 F's. Sanajay Malakar was the best. Again, Sanjaya -- best. Here goes:
1. Sanjaya Malakar (“Besame Mucho”) - Sure he whispered the song and sure his attempts at low notes sounded like a guy who sits behind me at church who can't sing at all. But here is a fact: of the 8 contestants, he was the only one who seemed to actually understand the point of his chosen number, understand the sexy Latin theme of the night and then actually do his best job of interpreting the song.
Grade -- 72 out of 100, C minus
2- Melinda Doolittle (“Sway”) — You can now see why she is a background singer. As always, nearly perfect on the notes, but you felt like your 63 year old female relative was up there trying to convince you she was sexy. A common problem for both Melinda, LaKisha and Jordin was that they (much like Elaine Benes -- pictured) appeared to have absolutely no feel for the needed syncopation in a Latin song. All songs are not gospel songs with runs and notes held 5+ seconds.
Grade -- 71, C minus
3- Blake Lewis (Marc Anthony’s “I Need to Know”) - The song is about a guy who DESPERATELY needs to know if a girl is interested in him and is PLEADING with her to tell/show him. Blake's song was so emotionless and monotone that I could have sworn it was being performed by Data or Mr. Spock from Star Trek. And as far as a Latin feel??? I am hard-pressed to think of anything more white-bread than Blake Lewis's performance. OK, I will try -- If Eric Montross, Vern Lundquist, Pat Robertson and a polar bear teamed up to make me a Miracle Whip and fluffernutter sandwich on Wonder Bread (no crust) during a snowstorm in the Yukon using only a white plastic knife or a spork --- that sandwich-making effort would have only SLIGHTLY less Latin feel than Blake Lewis's performance.
Yet Lewis PROBABLY had the best sense of rhythm of any of the 8...........yikes.
Grade --- 67, D
4 -- LaKisha Jones (Miami Sound Machine’s “Conga”) - This effort is "irreparable harm #1" in Gloria Estafan's civil Complaint for an injunction prohibiting this group of 8 from ever again doing one of her songs. The fast parts were adequate, but the "dancing" was abysmal (Fred Barry (RIP) would have been appalled for fat dancers everywhere -- heck, so would Shirley Hemphill -- again RIP) and the slow parts of the song sounded as if they were being sung by an out of shape woman struggling to catch her breath.............oh, wait...............WHITE GUYS are famous for having no rhythm!! Are Melinda, LaKisha and Jordin (see below) all actually white guys?
I call upon all 8 contestants to review this wikipedia entry and cited resources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhythm
Grade -- 66 out of 100, D
5 - Jordin Sparks (Gloria Estefan’s “Rhythm’s Gonna Get Ya”) - Young girl, dad's a former pro athlete, probably can really dance and shake up a storm, right? Well.....no.
If the Rhythm's intent upon "get"ting Jordin she must have seen it coming and hidden herself far, far away, because I saw absolutely NO sign that she and Rhythm had ever been in the same vicinity. Irreparable harm #2 in Estefan's Complaint. Awful.
Grade -- 61 out of 100 D minus
6 - Phil Stacey (Santana’s “Maria Maria”) - What the f was with the hat? I am sorry, but looking like a buffoon is not endearing. When your voice cracks as audibly as Phil's cracked at the end of the song, I think you ought to pack your bags..............most weeks.......but amazingly there were even worse efforts on the night.
Grade -- 60 out of 100, low D minus
7 - Haley Scarnato (Gloria Estefan’s version of “Turn the Beat Around”) - Part #3 of Estafan's Complaint and almost a shoo-in to get her the injunctive relief she should seek. Haley has great legs and she tries really hard. But she is not sultry. She isn't Shakira (note to Haley, you goal here is to be kinda slutty, wear things that make your small ass look BIGGER not black shorts that make it look smaller -- Shakira, JLo, big butts). She tries, she just isn't a good singer.
Grade 40 out of 100, F.
8 - Chris Richardson (Santana’s “Smooth”) - It was as if the judges who praised him had never heard the song. Richardson's voice was all over the place -- flat, sharp, Savol-ian nonsensical runs. I was rolling on the floor, ears about to bleed, begging for it to please, please stop. I would have gladly accepted a sudden Antonella Barba wildcard entry instead.
Jimmy Fallon on SNL used to do a hilarious mock of Kevin Pollak's stint as the host of "Celebrity Poker." Fallon, dressed as Pollak, would say things like: "What would Sly Stallone say if he were here?..(starts doing bad Stallone imitation).....Yo! Adrian, get me some chips....poker chips!.........(now back as Pollak).........That was Sly Stallone...from Rocky..."
That was what it was like watching Richardson. Before commencing, Chris should have grabbed a mic' and said:
"Hey, folks at home, what if Justin Timberlake had absolutely no rhythm and couldn't sing very well and decided to try to sing "Smooth" in his sort of style........"
Almost down there with certain Bucky Covington efforts. One of the worst things I have ever encountered.
20 out of 100. F minus
Tiger Woods -- Play Was "Bored and Sloppy"?
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/sportsline/main10116383.shtml. I welcome all comments.
P.S. -- We have all been waiting for a young upstart to challenge Tiger, maybe ZJ's youth (57 days younger than Tiger) can do the trick!!?
golf.com's 16 best golfers under 30: http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1597041-0,00.html
That sound you just heard was Tiger chuckling.
P.S. -- We have all been waiting for a young upstart to challenge Tiger, maybe ZJ's youth (57 days younger than Tiger) can do the trick!!?
golf.com's 16 best golfers under 30: http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1597041-0,00.html
That sound you just heard was Tiger chuckling.
Warren Moon -- Drunk Driver?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2831653. Possibly explaining why he couldn't hold that 35-3 lead all those years back. (Look at THAT, a GOOD Bills memory surfaces!).
To mix things up, I will skip the Skynyrd and AC/DC lyrics and go with Chumbawumba:
He drinks a whisky drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink He sings the songs that remind him Of the good times He sings the songs that remind him Of the better times
To mix things up, I will skip the Skynyrd and AC/DC lyrics and go with Chumbawumba:
He drinks a whisky drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink He sings the songs that remind him Of the good times He sings the songs that remind him Of the better times
Larry Birkhead -- Father
http://www.k-line.blogspot.com/. As K notes, my claim to being the father necessarily fails.
What remains to be seen is how hard Birkhead (on behalf of the child, sole heir to Smith) will push the $66MM to $474MM tortious interference case Smith has against the heirs of Mr. Marshall.
Howard K. Stern now seems a defeated man. His bogus assertions of paternity/fatherhood in tatters; his hopes of receiving the tortious interference proceeds fading by the moment; his link to celebrity more tenuous than ever. I believe that these are times when the friends and family of Howard K. Stern should be very concerned and supportive.
HM (not the father)
What remains to be seen is how hard Birkhead (on behalf of the child, sole heir to Smith) will push the $66MM to $474MM tortious interference case Smith has against the heirs of Mr. Marshall.
Howard K. Stern now seems a defeated man. His bogus assertions of paternity/fatherhood in tatters; his hopes of receiving the tortious interference proceeds fading by the moment; his link to celebrity more tenuous than ever. I believe that these are times when the friends and family of Howard K. Stern should be very concerned and supportive.
HM (not the father)
Judicial Assistance in Settlement
As a guy who does a lot of plaintiff's work, I would say that I could REALLY use a judge with this sort of strategy for settlement:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/04/10/girls.gonewild.ap/index.html
Settle or go to jail.
Note to Mr. Francis (and if you are reading, send my work address some free tapes): it is NEVER a good idea to sign a document and then say "Well, they will just void it for duress." 99% of the time they will NOT. If the judge had the right to send you to jail for contempt, he may very well be within his right to say, "But I won't send you to jail if you can settle the case in ______ days." You don't HAVE to settle the case, you just have to settle the case if you want no jail time. It is up to you. If you trade $20MM for a week in jail, that is a choice you make...............
HM
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/04/10/girls.gonewild.ap/index.html
Settle or go to jail.
Note to Mr. Francis (and if you are reading, send my work address some free tapes): it is NEVER a good idea to sign a document and then say "Well, they will just void it for duress." 99% of the time they will NOT. If the judge had the right to send you to jail for contempt, he may very well be within his right to say, "But I won't send you to jail if you can settle the case in ______ days." You don't HAVE to settle the case, you just have to settle the case if you want no jail time. It is up to you. If you trade $20MM for a week in jail, that is a choice you make...............
HM
Larry Bird and Ron Harper -- Players are Wussies
http://www.aolsportsblog.com/2007/04/09/old-school-players-todays-ballers-arent-very-tough/.
Ron Harper played FOREVER for a shooting guard -- counting all positions, he played the 75th most games in NBA history http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/harpero01.html. There are only 15 shooting guards who played more games in the history of the NBA. So the blogger's claim that injuries ended Harper's career is like saying that Bob Hope died of heart disease.......OK, he was also 100+ at the time..........
Ron Harper played FOREVER for a shooting guard -- counting all positions, he played the 75th most games in NBA history http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/harpero01.html. There are only 15 shooting guards who played more games in the history of the NBA. So the blogger's claim that injuries ended Harper's career is like saying that Bob Hope died of heart disease.......OK, he was also 100+ at the time..........
Monday, April 09, 2007
Blades of Glory
Saw "Blades of Glory" -- 8 out of 10. If you liked "Anchorman" you will like Blades of Glory.
Extra plus -- Jenna Fischer in a miniskirt and Jenna Fischer in a bustier. Well executed (as Jim Ross would say).
I wish I could find the recap of the exchange where the uber-innocent characters played by Jon Heder and Jenna Fischer are on the phone and being fed sexy lines by Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell. THAT was worth the price of admission. (Last exchange was something like: Heder, "Wanna get a sno cone?" Ferrell -- NO!!! Don't say that!! Jenna Fischer, "Sure." Amy Peohler -- Sno CONE! How about a sno BONE! Tell him you're up for that!
HM
Extra plus -- Jenna Fischer in a miniskirt and Jenna Fischer in a bustier. Well executed (as Jim Ross would say).
I wish I could find the recap of the exchange where the uber-innocent characters played by Jon Heder and Jenna Fischer are on the phone and being fed sexy lines by Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell. THAT was worth the price of admission. (Last exchange was something like: Heder, "Wanna get a sno cone?" Ferrell -- NO!!! Don't say that!! Jenna Fischer, "Sure." Amy Peohler -- Sno CONE! How about a sno BONE! Tell him you're up for that!
HM
"B.C." Creator Dies
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/articles/_a/cartoonist-johnny-hart-creator-of-bc/20070408182909990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001.
Ordinarily I would let this one go without comment, but there just aren't that many famous people a) from upstate NY and b) who actually STAY famous while still living in upstate NY.
I could claim that I enjoyed "B.C." as a comic strip, but, honestly, it stopped being good 10 years ago and became a platform for Hart to seek a return to the "good-old-days" when we still had school prayer and everyone who wasn't white or Christian was fair game for parody/criticism.
That said, the man enjoyed great success in his chosen field and, I'm sure, led a very fulfilling life.
RIP.
Ordinarily I would let this one go without comment, but there just aren't that many famous people a) from upstate NY and b) who actually STAY famous while still living in upstate NY.
I could claim that I enjoyed "B.C." as a comic strip, but, honestly, it stopped being good 10 years ago and became a platform for Hart to seek a return to the "good-old-days" when we still had school prayer and everyone who wasn't white or Christian was fair game for parody/criticism.
That said, the man enjoyed great success in his chosen field and, I'm sure, led a very fulfilling life.
RIP.
Hollywood Madame Book Out Thursday
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article2311305.ece. Read the linked article -- the undercover officer who hired her escorts greeted them in his room stripped naked and then accepted all services offered by the young ladies. That evidence got excluded by the trial judge. Replied the officer, "Um, so?"
Rumored to be a great tipper -- Ben Affleck.
Rumored to be a great tipper -- Ben Affleck.
Don Imus, Um, Colorful
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/articles/_a/imus-wants-to-apologize-to-basketball/20070409070209990001.
This would concern me if I thought that Imus was at all enjoyable to listen to. I have tried at various times to listen to Imus -- can't do it. I guess I secretly must have recognized his Archie Bunkerish mentality.
Let's see, need a clever quip for on-air, how about I call some college basketball players "nappy-headed hos"? Yeah, we'll go with that.
This would concern me if I thought that Imus was at all enjoyable to listen to. I have tried at various times to listen to Imus -- can't do it. I guess I secretly must have recognized his Archie Bunkerish mentality.
Let's see, need a clever quip for on-air, how about I call some college basketball players "nappy-headed hos"? Yeah, we'll go with that.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Tiger rendered impotent by Augusta -- Zach Johnson too much
Despite playing against a field that seemed intent on giving him his 5th green jacket, Tiger Woods could only reach +3 overall and lost to the mighty Iowa-born talent of Zach Johnson (+1).
Johnson seemed like a great story (1st major, newborn baby), until he reached the interview room and immediately thanked his lord and savior Jesus Christ for the victory.............(Jesus -- anti-Tiger).............then he stated that having a baby gave him a "newfound respect" for women and mothers..........uh, cuz before he didn't think much of them..........then he noted that he was just Zach Johnson and needed to be the best Zach Johnson he could be...........Herschel Walker was seen cringing at the third-person self-reference.
Note to CBS and Jim Nantz -- when you see the young fella drowning, don't throw him a brick.
HM
Friday, April 06, 2007
Charles Barkley -- Old School Footage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I87edutABG8&mode=related&search=. For those of you who believe that the NBA started with Kobe Bryant, here is some footage of the frightening physical specimen that was Charles Barkley.
Moviefone's Top 10 Sports Movies
10. The Hustler -- pool is a game, not a sport. No.
9. Remember the Titans -- very good, probably not top 10, but close.
8. Hoop Dreams -- perhaps the best depicition of what it is like to be a high-end high school basketball player from the city. Truly disturbing and disillusioning at times. Top 10.
7. Field of Dreams -- a personal fave, top 10.
6. Caddyshack -- I may be the only male in America who doesn't care for this movie
5. The Natural -- I don't think it is a top 10 sports movie
4. Hoosiers -- #1 or #2 on my list
3. Bull Durham -- I don't think it approaches top 10 status, but a decent movie
2. Raging Bull -- definitely top 10
1. Rocky -- #1 or #2
So, I have 5 to replace. I will go with: Slapshot, Bad News Bears, Miracle, Brian's Song and Major League. Leaving me with:
10. Miracle
9. Bad News Bears
8. Slap Shot
7. Brian's Song
6. Major League
5. Hoop Dreams
4. Field of Dreams
3. Raging Bull
2. Rocky
1. Hoosiers
9. Remember the Titans -- very good, probably not top 10, but close.
8. Hoop Dreams -- perhaps the best depicition of what it is like to be a high-end high school basketball player from the city. Truly disturbing and disillusioning at times. Top 10.
7. Field of Dreams -- a personal fave, top 10.
6. Caddyshack -- I may be the only male in America who doesn't care for this movie
5. The Natural -- I don't think it is a top 10 sports movie
4. Hoosiers -- #1 or #2 on my list
3. Bull Durham -- I don't think it approaches top 10 status, but a decent movie
2. Raging Bull -- definitely top 10
1. Rocky -- #1 or #2
So, I have 5 to replace. I will go with: Slapshot, Bad News Bears, Miracle, Brian's Song and Major League. Leaving me with:
10. Miracle
9. Bad News Bears
8. Slap Shot
7. Brian's Song
6. Major League
5. Hoop Dreams
4. Field of Dreams
3. Raging Bull
2. Rocky
1. Hoosiers
Fixing the Wolves
Garnett recently said to Marc Stein of ESPN that he wants to stay in Minnesota, but Minnesota has to make some moves to improve the team around him.
How?
The Wolves have Kevin McHale as their GM. He has already traded away 2 future #1 picks for 9th man Marko Jaric and current Sun Marcus Banks. So, you don't have those blocks to build from.
But even a great GM would have no way of fixing this team. Despite being awful, the Wolves have a $65MM payroll this year, 12th in the league: http://www.hoopshype.com/salaries/minnesota.htm. WITHOUT GARNETT's SALARY, the Wolves have $47MM committed for next year, then $34MM, then $31MM. To make matters worse, the Wolves' second most talented player (Ricky Davis) is only under contract for one more year, so if he is renewed/extended at $7MM per, those numbers go to $47/41/38MM.
So, what would I do if McHale were fired and I was made GM of the Timberwolves?
Step 1 -- cry a lot. There is no team in the league in a worse contract situation than yours. The Knicks? Well, that is close, but I could get some nibbles for Jared Jeffries or Jamal Crawford or maybe even Steve Francis (two years left). What exactly am I gonna get for Mark Blount or Marko Jaric or Troy Hudson? I will tell you -- nothing.
Step 2 -- Slog Through for 1 year -- KG's $22MM salary makes moving him almost impossible. You will have to wait until his option comes up to do a sign-and-trade. By retaining Randy Wittman as coach and making no player moves, you will almost assure yourself a high pick next year.
Step 3 -- Package KG for all you can get plus all you can give away.
I have examined all of the scenarios for keeping KG and building a team. None of them work. You just have too much money dedicated to 7th-8th-9th men (or worse) who are signed through 2010. (Blount/Hudson/Jaric/James/Hassell are owed $32MM in 2009/2010). So, you wait until KG opts out, then you do a sign-and-trade to a team with a high draft pick who has something to gain by getting Garnett. You get their high #1, plus a future #1, plus three or four guys, and you deal Garnett and some of your crappy contracts to the other team.
You then end up with 3 young starters, 2 prospects, Randy Foye and Rashad McCants. You bite the bullet and cut the guys you can't move with KG (Jaric and Hudson -- I mean, who are you fooling?). You try to find some gold either in round #2 or in Europe.
Best case scenario -- you have Foye, McCants, 3 guys you acquired for KG (Selalosha, Hinrich, Nocioni), 2 big guys picked with high #1 picks, and one or two surprise guys from Europe.
At least then you have hope.
How?
The Wolves have Kevin McHale as their GM. He has already traded away 2 future #1 picks for 9th man Marko Jaric and current Sun Marcus Banks. So, you don't have those blocks to build from.
But even a great GM would have no way of fixing this team. Despite being awful, the Wolves have a $65MM payroll this year, 12th in the league: http://www.hoopshype.com/salaries/minnesota.htm. WITHOUT GARNETT's SALARY, the Wolves have $47MM committed for next year, then $34MM, then $31MM. To make matters worse, the Wolves' second most talented player (Ricky Davis) is only under contract for one more year, so if he is renewed/extended at $7MM per, those numbers go to $47/41/38MM.
So, what would I do if McHale were fired and I was made GM of the Timberwolves?
Step 1 -- cry a lot. There is no team in the league in a worse contract situation than yours. The Knicks? Well, that is close, but I could get some nibbles for Jared Jeffries or Jamal Crawford or maybe even Steve Francis (two years left). What exactly am I gonna get for Mark Blount or Marko Jaric or Troy Hudson? I will tell you -- nothing.
Step 2 -- Slog Through for 1 year -- KG's $22MM salary makes moving him almost impossible. You will have to wait until his option comes up to do a sign-and-trade. By retaining Randy Wittman as coach and making no player moves, you will almost assure yourself a high pick next year.
Step 3 -- Package KG for all you can get plus all you can give away.
I have examined all of the scenarios for keeping KG and building a team. None of them work. You just have too much money dedicated to 7th-8th-9th men (or worse) who are signed through 2010. (Blount/Hudson/Jaric/James/Hassell are owed $32MM in 2009/2010). So, you wait until KG opts out, then you do a sign-and-trade to a team with a high draft pick who has something to gain by getting Garnett. You get their high #1, plus a future #1, plus three or four guys, and you deal Garnett and some of your crappy contracts to the other team.
You then end up with 3 young starters, 2 prospects, Randy Foye and Rashad McCants. You bite the bullet and cut the guys you can't move with KG (Jaric and Hudson -- I mean, who are you fooling?). You try to find some gold either in round #2 or in Europe.
Best case scenario -- you have Foye, McCants, 3 guys you acquired for KG (Selalosha, Hinrich, Nocioni), 2 big guys picked with high #1 picks, and one or two surprise guys from Europe.
At least then you have hope.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Arenas, Done
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2826854
Lucy Pinder -- undone: http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=2743
Lucy Pinder -- undone: http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=2743
Bob Huggins -- 1 and Done at Kansas State
There is NO WAY that KState can afford to release Huggins' recruiting class for next year (ranked as a top 5 class in the nation) and allow all of those guys to go to West Virginia.
And how about the great negotiating skills of KState on Huggy's contract? Buy out ----- $100,000. Yuck. Huggy's players see more cash than that..........
Adrian Dantley -- Snubbed Again
http://www.denverpost.com/sports/ci_5567460. I was on vacation when this occurred, but I cannot let it pass. To steal a phrase from GC Boy -- "Who does Adrian Dantley have to blow to make the Hall of Fame?"
Dantley not being in the Hall of Fame is a travesty.
Of the 14 guys with a higher career PPG than Dantley's 24.3, all but 3 are in the Hall. Those 3? Jordan, Malone and Iverson (all not currently eligible). http://www.basketball-reference.com/leaders/PPG_career.html. In the Hall ahead of Dantley -- Alex English, Billy Cunningham, Clyde Drexler -- all guys with worse scoring stats than AD. Similarly, AD is #18 in total career points. Guys ahead of him not in the Hall -- again, all not eligible yet -- Malone, Jordan, Hakeem, Shaq, Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing.
Calvin Murphy is in the HOF, Gail Goodrich, Bailey Howell, Dave Bing, Pete Maravich (16,000 career points to Dantley's 23,000+). Where exactly is Dantley lacking??? Played in the NBA Finals in 1988 -- is it his fault Isiah got hurt for Game 7? Twice the league scoring champ. For the first 11 years of his career he never averaged under 5.7 rebounds a game.
The linked article says that the Hall has informed Dantley that he will "likely" be a finalist in 2008. If I were Dantley, I might reply, "So Effing what?"
The people who know basketball know that Dantley's omission (while inducting two foreign coaches and a WNBA coach) says more about the 24 idiots who vote for the Basketball Hall than it does about Dantley's greatness as a player.
Dantley not being in the Hall of Fame is a travesty.
Of the 14 guys with a higher career PPG than Dantley's 24.3, all but 3 are in the Hall. Those 3? Jordan, Malone and Iverson (all not currently eligible). http://www.basketball-reference.com/leaders/PPG_career.html. In the Hall ahead of Dantley -- Alex English, Billy Cunningham, Clyde Drexler -- all guys with worse scoring stats than AD. Similarly, AD is #18 in total career points. Guys ahead of him not in the Hall -- again, all not eligible yet -- Malone, Jordan, Hakeem, Shaq, Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing.
Calvin Murphy is in the HOF, Gail Goodrich, Bailey Howell, Dave Bing, Pete Maravich (16,000 career points to Dantley's 23,000+). Where exactly is Dantley lacking??? Played in the NBA Finals in 1988 -- is it his fault Isiah got hurt for Game 7? Twice the league scoring champ. For the first 11 years of his career he never averaged under 5.7 rebounds a game.
The linked article says that the Hall has informed Dantley that he will "likely" be a finalist in 2008. If I were Dantley, I might reply, "So Effing what?"
The people who know basketball know that Dantley's omission (while inducting two foreign coaches and a WNBA coach) says more about the 24 idiots who vote for the Basketball Hall than it does about Dantley's greatness as a player.
Mitt Romney -- Continues to Mislead Public
http://news.aol.com/elections/president/story/_a/longtime-hunter-romney-went-on-two-trips/20070405034409990001.
Summary -- hunted twice in his life, once as a 15 year old and once last year. Result, "I am a long-time hunter." Perhaps a long-time LIAR might be more correct.
So what does the GOP have to offer up for 2008?
Option A -- Romney -- a Mormon from Mass. who as recently as 1994 stated that he was more liberal than Ted Kennedy on a variety of issues.
Option B -- John McCain -- used to be beloved for his "straight talk" but now he bills himself as basically George J.M. Bush. Is having trouble raising funds.
Option C -- Rudy Guliani -- pro-abortion, anti-gun, divorced twice, kids won't speak to him, from New York
Boy, where does a good-old boy from Atlanta sign up to support THESE guys? Answer: nowhere.
If the Dem nominee is Hillary and the GOP puts up, say, Romney, wouldn't this be the perfect time for a moderate southerner to swoop in and win the Presidency as a third-party candidate?
HM
Summary -- hunted twice in his life, once as a 15 year old and once last year. Result, "I am a long-time hunter." Perhaps a long-time LIAR might be more correct.
So what does the GOP have to offer up for 2008?
Option A -- Romney -- a Mormon from Mass. who as recently as 1994 stated that he was more liberal than Ted Kennedy on a variety of issues.
Option B -- John McCain -- used to be beloved for his "straight talk" but now he bills himself as basically George J.M. Bush. Is having trouble raising funds.
Option C -- Rudy Guliani -- pro-abortion, anti-gun, divorced twice, kids won't speak to him, from New York
Boy, where does a good-old boy from Atlanta sign up to support THESE guys? Answer: nowhere.
If the Dem nominee is Hillary and the GOP puts up, say, Romney, wouldn't this be the perfect time for a moderate southerner to swoop in and win the Presidency as a third-party candidate?
HM
Billy Packer -- Charlie Rose Will Always "Fag Out"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aefXpjJ6AE.
I guess I am glad that no one monitored my language from 1974-1989. But a plus might be that we finally get rid of Packer!
I guess I am glad that no one monitored my language from 1974-1989. But a plus might be that we finally get rid of Packer!
Dodgeball Reference
To quote Pepper Brooks, "He's ball-less........He doesn't have any balls, Cotton!"
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/vet-claims-doctors-removed-wrong/20070404233709990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/vet-claims-doctors-removed-wrong/20070404233709990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001
Arenas Hurts Knee
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/recap?gameId=270404027. Everyone now wants to know where the Wiz will finish in the playoff seeding so that they can play the Wiz in Round 1!!
Currently, it would be Toronto/Wiz. http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/standings
Other standings stories: Can Golden State make it up to 41 wins and try to catch the Clips or Denver for a playoff spot? Assuming the answer is no, who will get that 6 spot in the West and avoid Dallas and Phoenix? The Lakers and the Devil seem intent on pissing that spot away, but can the Nuggets or the surging Clips (8-2 in the last 10) take it?
Out East -- can the awful coaching of Brian Hill be bad enough to deny Orlando a spot when the only way to lose the spot would be to Isiah and the Knicks or Indiana and Mike Dunleavy, Jr.???? Totally resistable force/totally movable object query there!!
Can the Hawks (losers of 7 straight and 9 of 10) get enough ping pong balls to save their pick this year? (They keep it if it is top 3 -- if it is 4 or below it goes to the Suns.)
Can the Wolves stay at #10 or worse in the draft order, assuring themselves that they don't have to give the Clips that pick??
Doesn't Mike Conley, Jr. HAVE to come out of Ohio State when the next true PG on the NBA draft board is ranked #32. I mean, isn't Conley virtually assured of a top 6 selection by a team that already has 2 or 3 good forwards? http://www.nbadraft.net/
Currently, it would be Toronto/Wiz. http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/standings
Other standings stories: Can Golden State make it up to 41 wins and try to catch the Clips or Denver for a playoff spot? Assuming the answer is no, who will get that 6 spot in the West and avoid Dallas and Phoenix? The Lakers and the Devil seem intent on pissing that spot away, but can the Nuggets or the surging Clips (8-2 in the last 10) take it?
Out East -- can the awful coaching of Brian Hill be bad enough to deny Orlando a spot when the only way to lose the spot would be to Isiah and the Knicks or Indiana and Mike Dunleavy, Jr.???? Totally resistable force/totally movable object query there!!
Can the Hawks (losers of 7 straight and 9 of 10) get enough ping pong balls to save their pick this year? (They keep it if it is top 3 -- if it is 4 or below it goes to the Suns.)
Can the Wolves stay at #10 or worse in the draft order, assuring themselves that they don't have to give the Clips that pick??
Doesn't Mike Conley, Jr. HAVE to come out of Ohio State when the next true PG on the NBA draft board is ranked #32. I mean, isn't Conley virtually assured of a top 6 selection by a team that already has 2 or 3 good forwards? http://www.nbadraft.net/
Idol -- Haley Stays!
Justice was served when my daughter's 3 votes for Haley put her over the top and eliminated Gina. Gina got to learn how ridiculous the song "Smile" was when she had to sing the "chin up" tune after getting the boot. Note that singing the song did not make her feel any better and actually made her feel worse -- the same impact it has on any listener/viewer.
So, with Phil, Haley and Sanjaya in the final 8, does this necessarily mean that we will have the worst ever singer in the top 2/3/4/5????
Well, here is what some research revealed:
Worst eliminated at 6: Carmen Rasmussen (sounded like a goat); John Stevens (flat on every song and a remarkably boring performer)
Worst Eliminated at 5: Scott Savol (domestic assault perpetrator, unintentionally hilarious to watch; not much of a singer); R.J. Helton (it was season 1, talent pool was pretty shallow).
Worst Eliminated at 4: Anthony Federov (is hard to diss him since he spoke broken English and was, um, friendly with Carrie Underwood -- when eliminated he looked at CU and she mouthed "I love you." But he wasn't an appreciably better singer than Savol.)
Worst Eliminated at 3: Nikki McKibbin (basically a worse version of Gina Glockstein); Jasmine Trias (if Sanjaya was a good-looking female, he would be Jasmine Trias).
Worst Eliminated at 2: Diana DiGarmo (an adequate singer, but no more, finished a distant 2nd to Fantasia. No one was at all surprised.)
Worst Winner: Rating the 5 winners from best to worst: 1) Kelly Clarkson -- best ever on the show, tied with Carrie for off-the-show performance; 2) Carrie Underwood (almost lost, but her first album is the equal of any Idol's album); 3) Ruben Studdard (great on the show, not so much off the show); 4) Fantasia (sounded like Daffy Duck and tended to scream a lot -- a winner against poor competition -- hasn't done much off the show either); 5) Taylor Hicks (a glorified bar singer whose appeal was not necessarily his vocal talent).
So, with Phil, Haley and Sanjaya in the final 8, does this necessarily mean that we will have the worst ever singer in the top 2/3/4/5????
Well, here is what some research revealed:
Worst eliminated at 6: Carmen Rasmussen (sounded like a goat); John Stevens (flat on every song and a remarkably boring performer)
Worst Eliminated at 5: Scott Savol (domestic assault perpetrator, unintentionally hilarious to watch; not much of a singer); R.J. Helton (it was season 1, talent pool was pretty shallow).
Worst Eliminated at 4: Anthony Federov (is hard to diss him since he spoke broken English and was, um, friendly with Carrie Underwood -- when eliminated he looked at CU and she mouthed "I love you." But he wasn't an appreciably better singer than Savol.)
Worst Eliminated at 3: Nikki McKibbin (basically a worse version of Gina Glockstein); Jasmine Trias (if Sanjaya was a good-looking female, he would be Jasmine Trias).
Worst Eliminated at 2: Diana DiGarmo (an adequate singer, but no more, finished a distant 2nd to Fantasia. No one was at all surprised.)
Worst Winner: Rating the 5 winners from best to worst: 1) Kelly Clarkson -- best ever on the show, tied with Carrie for off-the-show performance; 2) Carrie Underwood (almost lost, but her first album is the equal of any Idol's album); 3) Ruben Studdard (great on the show, not so much off the show); 4) Fantasia (sounded like Daffy Duck and tended to scream a lot -- a winner against poor competition -- hasn't done much off the show either); 5) Taylor Hicks (a glorified bar singer whose appeal was not necessarily his vocal talent).
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Pinky & the Brain
Q: Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?
A: I think so Brain, but.............http://www.sph.umich.edu/~rwatt/ponderin.htm
a couple favorites: But what if the chicken won't WEAR the nylons? and But I don't think Kaye Ballard is IN the union.....
Any show that featured a Kaye Ballard joke is OK with me!
A: I think so Brain, but.............http://www.sph.umich.edu/~rwatt/ponderin.htm
a couple favorites: But what if the chicken won't WEAR the nylons? and But I don't think Kaye Ballard is IN the union.....
Any show that featured a Kaye Ballard joke is OK with me!
Idol -- Classics Night
Oh, when it is classics night you just cringe because you know the contestants aren't going to come through. They did slightly better than I feared.......................................................................Blake Lewis -- "Mack the Knife" -- His voice is just SO tinny. He makes Bo Bice sound like Otis Redding. He is an Ok singer and has above average entertainment value for his target audience.
I agree with Simon -- 70 out of 100
Phil Stacy -- Night and Day -- he was 1/2 a note off the entire song. It was remarkable how bad it was. Yet he almost certainly saved himself this week by saying that he crooned the song "to my wife." Pulling out the big guns there. Next week? Great-grandma and one of his kids' puppies both die......... 48 out of 100
Melinda Doolittle -- "I’ve Got Rhythm" -- she is clearly the one to beat based upon a talent gap from 1st to 2nd place comparable to the LeBron James/Trenton Hassell talent gap witnessed at Target Center last night. 94 out of 100
Chris Richardson -- "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" -- I do not care much for Fake Timberlake, but play his voice next to Blake Lewis's voice and there is just no comparison. While Chris has some tone and grit, Blake sounds like the treble is on 10 and the bass is turned off. 83 out of 100.
Jordin Sparks -- "On A Clear Day" -- Simon's criticism was that the song was too "old-fashioned." I disagree. What he MEANT to say is that the song SUCKS! It is a terrible song loaded with unusual sharps and flats and it just isn't enjoyable to listen to. Wretched, wretched song. Jordin sang it well, but that may not be enough to save her from a bottom 3. Performance -- 90; song 20.
Gina Glockstein -- "Smile" -- Explain to me why you would ever sing the song "Smile" unless you just took an overdose of barbituates and were on your way to dying? I have always thought the song was meant to be ironical -- sort of a "Hey, house burned down and whole family died????? Keep on grinning and you'll feel better........not!" Ultra-mediocre at best. 65 out of 100
Sanjaya Malakar -- Dancing Cheek to Cheek -- If you think about it, Washington state must be filled with mediocre pretty-boy singers with almost no range or tone. I mean, my lord, they have BOTH Blake Lewis (reduced to wearing 10 layers of clothes and beat boxing to impress teen girls) and Sanjaya (10 layers of hair and wearing odd styles) in their state!!!
I would compare Sanjaya to a John Stevens with a bit more charisma. 50 out of 100
Haley Scarnato -- I don't recall what she sang, liked the green dress though -- 100 out of 100
Lakisha -- "Stormy Weather" -- it just wasn't that compelling. Good, not great. Hard to be 220+ and not sing great and win a televised popularity contest. 79 out of 100
I agree with Simon -- 70 out of 100
Phil Stacy -- Night and Day -- he was 1/2 a note off the entire song. It was remarkable how bad it was. Yet he almost certainly saved himself this week by saying that he crooned the song "to my wife." Pulling out the big guns there. Next week? Great-grandma and one of his kids' puppies both die......... 48 out of 100
Melinda Doolittle -- "I’ve Got Rhythm" -- she is clearly the one to beat based upon a talent gap from 1st to 2nd place comparable to the LeBron James/Trenton Hassell talent gap witnessed at Target Center last night. 94 out of 100
Chris Richardson -- "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" -- I do not care much for Fake Timberlake, but play his voice next to Blake Lewis's voice and there is just no comparison. While Chris has some tone and grit, Blake sounds like the treble is on 10 and the bass is turned off. 83 out of 100.
Jordin Sparks -- "On A Clear Day" -- Simon's criticism was that the song was too "old-fashioned." I disagree. What he MEANT to say is that the song SUCKS! It is a terrible song loaded with unusual sharps and flats and it just isn't enjoyable to listen to. Wretched, wretched song. Jordin sang it well, but that may not be enough to save her from a bottom 3. Performance -- 90; song 20.
Gina Glockstein -- "Smile" -- Explain to me why you would ever sing the song "Smile" unless you just took an overdose of barbituates and were on your way to dying? I have always thought the song was meant to be ironical -- sort of a "Hey, house burned down and whole family died????? Keep on grinning and you'll feel better........not!" Ultra-mediocre at best. 65 out of 100
Sanjaya Malakar -- Dancing Cheek to Cheek -- If you think about it, Washington state must be filled with mediocre pretty-boy singers with almost no range or tone. I mean, my lord, they have BOTH Blake Lewis (reduced to wearing 10 layers of clothes and beat boxing to impress teen girls) and Sanjaya (10 layers of hair and wearing odd styles) in their state!!!
I would compare Sanjaya to a John Stevens with a bit more charisma. 50 out of 100
Haley Scarnato -- I don't recall what she sang, liked the green dress though -- 100 out of 100
Lakisha -- "Stormy Weather" -- it just wasn't that compelling. Good, not great. Hard to be 220+ and not sing great and win a televised popularity contest. 79 out of 100
Dial Idol
http://www.dialidol.com/asp/predictions/Predictions.asp. Could it actually be the end for Haley? Good lord, I hope not. I allowed my 8 year old daughter to vote for Haley 3 times last night.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
April 4 -- A Super-Colossal Great Day!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_4
Non HM-Births Include -- actor Heath Ledger, Tris Speaker, Gil Hodges, Jack Del Rio, Robert Downey, Jr., Nancy McKeon (Jo from "The Facts of Life"), "magician" David Blaine, Scott Rolen and Zoe 101's Jamie Lynn Spears!!
Also Thin Lizzy guitarist Gary Moore's birthday. I strongly recommend his "We Want Moore" album for those who love great guitar solos: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Want_Moore
Important Historical Events -- MLK shot and killed in Memphis, Microsoft founded, WTC dedicated, Napoleon abdicates for the first time, Lincoln tours recently captured Richmond.
Most Fitting Holiday -- In Lesotho it is "Heroes' Day"
Non HM-Births Include -- actor Heath Ledger, Tris Speaker, Gil Hodges, Jack Del Rio, Robert Downey, Jr., Nancy McKeon (Jo from "The Facts of Life"), "magician" David Blaine, Scott Rolen and Zoe 101's Jamie Lynn Spears!!
Also Thin Lizzy guitarist Gary Moore's birthday. I strongly recommend his "We Want Moore" album for those who love great guitar solos: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Want_Moore
Important Historical Events -- MLK shot and killed in Memphis, Microsoft founded, WTC dedicated, Napoleon abdicates for the first time, Lincoln tours recently captured Richmond.
Most Fitting Holiday -- In Lesotho it is "Heroes' Day"
Alanis Morissette Does "My Humps"
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/articles/_a/alanis-morissette-takes-on-my-humps/20070403110009990001
Click on the Alanis video -- it is very funny.
Click on the Alanis video -- it is very funny.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
