Saturday Bloody Saturday for Top 25 In College Football

Losers over this week/weekend:

Oklahoma (#3, lost to Colorado)
Florida (#4, lost to Auburn)
West Virginia (#5, lost to South Florida)
Texas (#7, lost to Kansas State)
Rutgers (#10, lost to Maryland)
Clemson (#13, lost to Georgia Tech)
Penn State (#21, lost to Illinois)
Alabama (#22, lost to Florida State)
(#11 Oregon lost, but to a higher-ranked club (Cal), so we can hardly count that)

This weekend demonstrates (as if we really needed more proof) why there needs to be a playoff system. Where will all of these teams end up next week? Who knows, but if they suffer a similar drop, that means the pre-season ranking is the only thing keeping (say) Florida ahead of West Virginia.

I would hope that the voters are intelligent enough to give DISsimilar drops (for example, Florida lost at home to a mediocre Auburn team, so shouldn't they really plummet versus WVU, who lost on the road to a ranked opponent???).

But suppose that the voters are smart enough to figure out that a home loss to a team that lost to Mississipi State is a bad loss that should be penalized. What do we know from last year? Auburn was a 2-loss team LAST year and they beat Florida by 10. Florida also struggled with Vanderbilt. Didn't matter. The computer took over and Florida was in the national title game.

Florida so far this year has barely edged Mississippi and lost to Auburn (again, losers to Mississippi State). Yet if they win out the computer will put them in the national title game where they will again play a team unfamiliar with their style of play.

If college football has become a game where every year you are going to have six 1-loss team fighting it out at the end of the year, why keep up the charade that you can tell which two teams are the best of the 6?

And does there EVER reach a point where a team like Hawaii can run the table and reach the title game? Even if there is only 1 team in the top 6 with less than 2 losses? No? Didn't think so.

President's Cup Looks To Be A Slaughter

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=3042018



U.S. needs only 2 1/2 out of 12 matches on Sunday to be the International squad.



I felt a need to report this given the U.S.'s pathetic Ryder Cup play in recent years (particularly in the team portion).



HM

Oldie But a Goodie

Simmons' old column on the Atlanta strip club trial: http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?id=1237371

Youth Sports

Oh, it is once again that wonderful season of sports tryouts. The extreme randomness of the selection causes me many sleepless nights.

My 8th grade daughter (Daddy's Girl Maven -- DGM) tried out for basketball. She is "A" volleyball and "C1" soccer, but has never been above B for basketball (had one year playing C). She actually has more skill as a player than PM, but she is small and not real strong (whereas the 11 year old PM will don size 10 shoes this year and was last seen carrying around my 20 pound weights).

Anyway, by my evaluation, DGM is the 12th best player in her class, arguably as high as 11th or even 10th.

Sooooooooooooooo -- Results come out for the top 10. They pick the following players (per my rankings):

1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 11th, 20th. Where was Sesame Street when the evaluators/coach needed it? "One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong...." So, I expected to see DGM passed up by 10 out of 11 possible girls. I would be fine with that. But results of this type make people lose all faith in the tryout system (particularly if there kids should rank 9th or 10th).

Bill O'Reilly -- Surprised That Blacks Behave Well

Oh, Bill-O...........

My goodness. I am transported back to my dinner table in upstate NY in 1974 listening to my mom talk. The amazing thing is that he just goes on and on about how surprised he is. OK, I get it! I would also guess that no one was dribbling a basketball, rapping spontaneously, or wearing a Buckwheat hair style either..........Geez.

Prince Fielder - Cecil Fielder Feud

http://sports.aol.com/mlb/story/_a/fielder-wants-mvp-award-to-shut-him-up/20070926004309990001

Now, look, my dad is a great guy. Coached his kids, watched all of their games, tried to teach me some perspective on life (including the idea that sports were not the be-all and end-all of life -- a lesson I learned either barely or not at all).

But I will tell you what. From age 16 to age 25, I was pretty much mortified by my dad's actions and they embarrassed me to no end.

So, Cecil pissed away a bunch of money in the late 1990s and early 2000s? Note to Prince -- get over it. Here is a guy who, by all accounts, had a good relationship with you end until your first pro contract (so, what? 2002?). You look just like him, you have his same talents. One day you will have to accept that fact.

So, Prince Fielder, call your dad not real bright and tell people you hate him and that you want to do well to shut him up. It is a pretty safe guess that Cecil always wanted YOU to do well and always lived and died with everything you ever did on the baseball field.

When you become a dad, good, bad or indifferent, you will realize how much you love your kids and feel badly about how you treated your own dad -- warts and all.

Misled Again -- Awesome $53MM House Not KG's

As I feared, I have been misled. The house belongs to an ORWG (Old Rich White Guy):

http://www.twincities.com/ci_6941617?source=most_viewed&nclick_check=1

Note to all rich folk out there -- old HM and family would be proud to serve as Kato Kaelins at this estate. Orono High could probably use some young Mavens on their sports teams. I'd even agree to clean 4 of the 16 bathrooms.....


HM

Picture of Kathleen Decker

The Knicks intern that Stephon Marbury had sex with by using the awesome pick-up line: "Are you going to get into the truck?"

http://www.nypost.com/seven/09252007/news/columnists/ball_girl_in_slick_swap_of_cou.htm

Given the opinions on Ms. Decker seem to be strong, let's go with a "Rate A Celeb" here. Here is your scale:

1= truly awful, awful hideous, would murder myself before having relations with her;
25= if she was the last one in the bar at last call, I'd buy a magazine;
50= I am not proud of it, but yeah, I have made out with worse;
75= I'd be proud to date her;
100= if she appeared even moderately interested in having sex with me, I would ask her out right in front of my spouse or significant other.

HM

Come To Minneapolis, Buy KG's House

I am informed that this little cottage on the lake is the home Mr. Garnett is leaving behind as he seeks fame and fortune in Beantown.

http://www.edinarealty.com/Listing/ListingDetail.aspx?Search=c766c16b-1571-489e-9056-cccf4a3283a2&Listing=25274699&IRPAgentID=&Image=1&First=1&Last=1&pagesize=10&SearchType=&ListingDistrictTypeID=&FirstLetter=&Sort=6&Cookies=&UseColorBar=false

Even if I am misinformed, it is a darn nice house!

The Following Events Occurred Between 1:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m. PDT

http://www.tmz.com/2007/09/25/kiefer-sutherland-popped-for-dui/

What do you expect out of a guy with 5 middle names??

Buckeye QB Likes Hookers

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/09/25/henton.prostitute.ap/index.html

I have lost all respect for Ohio State as a football school. This is your [STARTING] QB! [Note -- wrong -- as K points out, he is third-string -- but still, COME ON!] Come on OSU co-eds! He shouldn't have to be out on the streets soliciting hookers. At SMU they had an entire sorority dedicated to........er........entertaining football recruits. A Buckeye QB can't find free sex on campus?

Sad.

What the Deuce? McAllister Blows Out ACL...Maybe?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3035134

On a more important note -- New Orleans is starting three white linebackers!!!!!!!!!! Now, I realize that Andy Russell, Jack Lambert and Jack Ham were members of the Steel Curtain in the mid-1970s, but is starting three white LB's really a good idea? Is there any other current team starting three white linebackers?

This guy (who scares me a bit, I will concede) says that the key to winning NFL games may be having more white players..............on the bench! http://www.vdare.com/sailer/051016_football.htm

Monks Riot in Myanmar -- J. Peterman in Danger?

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/protesting-monks-defy-myanmar-junta/20070925101709990001

J. Peterman: What about you?
Elaine: Me? Why me?
J. Peterman: Why, indeed.
Elaine: Mr. Peterman, you can't leave.
J. Peterman: I've already left, Elaine. I'm in Burma.
Elaine: Burma?
J. Peterman: You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me. Bonne chance, Elaine. (to a passerby) You there on the motorbike! Sell me one of your melons!
Elaine: Mr. Peterman?

[New scene, Jerry's apartment.]
Jerry: Where?
Elaine: Burma.
Jerry: Isn't it Myanmar now?

Bud Black Tears Milton Bradley's ACL -- Out for the Year

In what can only be described as a bizarre, bizarre situation, Milton Bradley gets in an argument with the first base umpire, starts to confront him, and has his manager blow out Milton's ACL by restraining him.

http://sandiego.padres.mlb.com/media/player/mp_tpl.jsp?w_id=601434&w=mms%3A//a1503.v108692.c10869.g.vm.akamaistream.net/7/1503/10869/v0001/mlb.download.akamai.com/10869/2007/open/tp/archive09/092307_colsdn_bradley_ejection_tp_350.wmv&pid=mlb_tp&gid=2007/09/23/colmlb-sdnmlb-1&vid=7758&mid=200709232226558&cid=mlb&fid=mlb_tp400&v=2&mType=w&urlstr=&mUrl=&type=v_free&_mp=1

For Milton's side of the story, go here: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=3033679

Let me say this about baseball umpires -- I used to umpire in the summers. I met a bunch of guys who umpired at higher levels of play. I never met a high-level umpire who wasn't a complete prick. Every guy felt everything he did was 100% correct and that he walked on water. I imagine the guy working 1st base in this game was no exception to the rule.

Basketball referees, on the other hand, can actually be pretty nice guys. Now you have your Steve Javie and Joey Crawford type of meglomaniac, but you also have very successful guys like Danny Crawford (professional but not unreasonable) and even Dick Bavetta (nice guy, not much of a ref). I think this may be because the basketball refs are out there running up and down and sweating and interacting a lot with the guys. If you are reasonable, you can make the game a lot more enjoyable for everyone. Baseball umpires basically stand around and wait to make the few calls that win or lose a game. They probably don't want to be too involved with the players and need to cast a tougher exterior.

Cavalier-Related International Hoops Notes

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18845002&BRD=1699&PAG=461&dept_id=46370&rfi=6


I enjoy the note regarding Pavlovic that if he goes to Europe he is still a restricted free agent. So, not much a a threat. Same deal with Anderson Verajao it appears.


Add Saruna Jasikevicius to the foreign stars who have failed to impress in limited NBA stints: Andrew Gaze, Sasha Volkov, Shane Heal, etc. SJ is fleeing back to Europe to regain some of his lost star power -- like a failed actress fleeing Hollywood for local dinner theatre back in her hometown of Wichita.

I still am surprised whenever I read that Danny Ferry is LeBron's GM. I mean, wow. Here is a guy who wasn't exactly regarded as a scholar at Duke (here is a good rule of thumb for you; if you want to find good basketball players at Duke who are also good students -- look for the black kids -- Hill, Battier, Williams...). At his interview with the Cavs he stated he didn't know anything about the organization or even why he was interviewing: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/basketball/nba/2005-12-01-ferry-family_x.htm


He did NOT sign Mike Brown or LeBron, so the only two things the Cavs have going for them, Ferry had nothing to do with. What has Danny Ferry actually accomplished? Signed very limited players to very ridiculous contracts. Deals Ferry inked still have the following amounts to pay:

Larry Hughes -- 3 years, $38MM
Ilgauskas -- 3 and $32.5MM
Damon Jones -- 2 and $9MM
Donyell Marshall -- 2 and $11.5MM

So, Ferry still has to pay $90MM to guys who have almost no trade value. Great.
Now Ferry is taking a hard line on his only 2 non-LeBron players with upside potential? Why?

HM

Marlins Home Game With the Nationals

Go see the picture Andy has posted at www.theputdown.com

http://www.theputdown.com/theputdown/2007/09/more-of-the-sam.html

There may not have been 200 people in attendance for this game!! I am put in mind of the NFL films feature on one bad team in the NFL or AFL where the coach decided that there were so few peopel in the stands that he would forego pre-game announcements, and he had the players go into the crowd and introduce themselves and shake hands with every fan.

HM

Salma Hayek Has Baby

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/movies/movie-news-story/ar/_a/salma-hayek-baby-girl/20070923174609990001

And I am pretty sure this picture was taking BEFORE she was pregnant!

Doctors stated, "Thank GOD it wasn't a boy. I am not sure any mom can withstand 10 years of constant breast feeding!"

HM

Good-Bye Aunt S.

My aunt had a head-on collision with a large construction truck this afternoon in upstate NY. The head-on was like a Spurs/Wolves contest -- decidedly one-sided. She was so badly crushed that she will have to be formally identified by dental records. The truck driver walked out of the truck and, after talking to police, waited for a ride home.

I am going to go with the belief that, at heart, my aunt wasn't a bad person. She almost certainly suffered from mental health issues (though I am sure they were never properly treated), and she arguably reached the point where she fell into the part of society that we middle-class suburbanites call "poor white trash." I mean, if you are over 60 and you live with your mom in a trailer and sponge off her financially.......You get the picture.

A fatalist would say that, ultimately, we can only be what the world or our maker requires us to be. Someone else might say that we choose to be whomever we become. (You can just watch "Forrest Gump" for a similar thought to what I am trying to say here.)

I would like to think that my aunt really had no choice on what she would become, but I never really got the feeling that she made the most of what her options may have been either. In the lingo of Texas Hold'em, I can safely say she was dealt "7-2 off-suit" at points during her life, but even when she raked in few large pots, she quickly pissed away what she won.
Today she ran put of chips.

So there you have it. Classic "Hoop Ramblings" item -- family, death, basketball, movie reference, and poker.......all in an item about upstate NY.

RIP, S.

Lee Greenwood -- "God Bless The USA"......um, once I get Paid

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/music-news-story/ar/_a/usa-singer-points-blame-in-no-show/20070921094109990001

I guess I have always heard the song differently than the actual lyrics. Here are some lyrics with some important clarifying parentheticals.

If tomorrow all the things were gone,I’d worked for all my life.

And I had to start again,with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars,to be livin here today.

‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,and they can’t take that away.

(And that bastard in Denver can't make me take a $2,000 Knights of Columbus check either!)

And I’m proud to be an American,where at least I know I’m free. (Not literally "free." I require $20,000 up front, straight cash homey.)

And I won't forget the men who died,who gave that right to me. (But to hell with them if they want me to wait 3 business days for a $2,000 check to clear!)

And I gladly stand up,next to you and defend her still today. (Again, not literally. No reported military service on Lee's resume. He appears to have been a singer and blackjack dealer during Viet Nam: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Greenwood).

‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,God bless the USA.

(so long as everyone pays cash)

From the lakes of Minnesota (Swedes always have cash), to the hills of Tennessee (few have checking accounts). Across the plains of Texas, From sea to shining sea. (not friggin' cheap-ass Denver though!)
From Detroit down to Houston,and New York to L.A.

Well there's pride in every American heart, (and hopefully cash in every promoter's hand) and its time we stand and say.....(repeat above).

I saw Lee out on the coast of NC in 1988 or 1989. He makes me look like Shaq. Probably 5'4", 135 pounds. His hair (what there was) looked as if it had been cut strand by strand -- immaculate. Those $300 haircuts and 30 inch waist jeans don't pay for themselves Mr. Denver promoter!!

Canadian Dollar Equals U.S. Dollar

I am not sure that I could be any more embarrassed if I tried. Good lord. Growing up the Canadian dollar was viewed as a joke and you always tried to pass off your crappy Canadian quarters wherever you could. You felt magnanimous if you put American money into a Canadian pop machine!!!

Not now. Read this article: http://money.aol.com/news/articles/_a/after-31-years-canadian-dollar-equals-us/20070921101409990001

Our currency -- worth Canadian dollar; worth about 70% of a Euro, dropping against......the Indian rupee. We now have CANADIANS trash talking us (see guy's quote in article)! And our President now comes on TV and says, well, thinks are tough -- chin up. This is in a WAR economy where we are pumping out government spending on the War at a level of $100 billion a year!!

When I was in college in Buffalo, they used to attract Canadians to the bars on some nights by saying "Canadian money accepted at par!!" Soon they will use that pitch to drive Canadians away!!

Arg.

Missing John Candy

A tribute is scheduled for November of 2007 in Toronto to honor the great John Candy -- one of the greatest comedic actors of all-time (I don't care what anyone says):
http://www.cflgreycup.ca/toronto/news_052807.php

Here are a couple clips of John Candy. Candy died on March 4, 1994 at age 43 years, 4 months, 4 days. On September 4, I was 43 years, 5 months, so I made it past Big John.

Public Service Message

Baseball playoffs and Halloween are bothing arriving soon. Think about a costume in keeping with the season.

Blog On Best High School Players Since 1992

http://www.fromcourtside.com/2007/09/past-15-years-high-school-all-american.html

I don't see how you put anyone even in the same class as LeBron. LeBron was a national phenomenon when he was a sophomore. His junior and senior year teams basically took on all-star teams from around the nation and usually defeated them.

If you read the link, you will note the commenters' support for Randy Livingston. I would agree 100%. Livingston won 3 state titles and was 2-time Player of the Year winner (tied with Jason Kidd one year and Sheed the next).

The amazing thing to me about Randy is that he suffered horrendous knee injuries in college and everyone thought he was done back in 1994. He played in the NBA LAST YEAR!! He was also 1st Team All-NBDL (as voted by draftexpress) and got some consideration for D League MVP.

And yes, I will toss a bone to Damon Bailey as well.

Jim Caple On the NFL's Concussion Policy

While I VERY rarely enjoy his columns, I do agree with this thought:

Oh, and speaking of the NFL, it's nice to see that the league's new concussion policy is working so well. Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna leaves the game with a concussion but is allowed to return when he says he's OK, that God has healed him. "If they want someone to play it safe," Kitna told reporters after the game, "that's just not me." And that attitude is precisely why players can't be allowed to make such decisions on their health.

Let's be clear on one thing -- the Lions put Jon Kitna back into the game NOT because they thought God had healed him, but rather because God had cursed J.T. O'Sullivan with skills insufficient to win an NFL football game. Lesson -- NFL takes concussions seriously.......unless it would require you to use a crappy backup QB, then we will look the other way.

South Dakota Road Signs -- Gotta Love'em

From "News of the Weird":

Verle Dills, 60, was arrested in Sioux Falls, S.D., in July after police found numerous homemade videos of Dills having sex in public with "traffic signs." [Sioux Falls Argus Leader, 8-1-07]

If You Like The Name "Jennifer"..........

you will be loving this site, good lord almighty! http://www.xarj.net/2007/hot-jennifer-pictures-jenifer-alba-jennifer-aniston-jeniffer-lopez-love-hewitt/

Why It Is Hard For Me to Support Soccer

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/report?id=216524&cc=5901

So the U.S. women win a World Cup game 1-0 and are ecstatic about their "fast start" and the fact that one of their "set pieces" (we US Americans generally call them "out of bounds plays") resulted in a goal.

But read the story closely. What happened was that the U.S. managed a good throw-in and a good pass and THEN THE ONLY GOAL OF THE GAME DEFLECTED IN OFF A DEFENDER!!!

Now, this is the world playoffs for soccer. Soccer fans say, "Well, there aren't many TDs in football either." Imagine if the Colts beat the Bears 7-0 because the Colts had a pass bounce off someone's helmet to a wide receiver. Now imagine if that kind of 7-0 win was a COMMON result of an NFL playoff game. Goals by players into their own net are so common they are given a name for box score purposes in soccer -- "own goal." Kids draw pictures of scoring in their own goal (see pic).

Imagine if we had a basketball box score area for "scored in own basket" or a football box score category "scored TD for the wrong team." People would say there was something horribly wrong with that sport. Nuf said.

Hey Isiah Thomas -- Ain't Video Depositions a "Bitch"?

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/knicks/2007/09/18/2007-09-18_isiah_explains_double_standard_on_slurs_.html

Summary -- Isiah testifies at deposition: black men may call black women bitches, but white men can't.

I know I have said this before, but "HOW DOES FRIGGIN' ISIAH THOMAS KEEP HIS JOB!?!?!?" He is a very mediocre coach, and he is a terrible GM. So, scale of 1 to 10 on actual job performance? No higher than a 3.

So, you take a 3 out of 10 employee and add in these facts: 1) he has no respect for your white customers and tells other employees that; 2) he sexually harasses employees and causes them to sue the organization for $10MM; and 3) his position on gender relations is that you can call a black woman a "bitch" in the workplace, so long as you are a black man.

STILL has a job?? Now, as I am a lawyer, on to the video deposition issue:

When you have a civil case, you get to take "discovery" where you can see what the documents the other side has and what testimony they will be able to give.

But a key element of discovery is also getting opposing witnesses to say something stupid that you can use against them at trial. For that you need to take sworn testimony called a deposition. The old method (still used in smaller matters) is to take the deposition and have it typed into a transcript. But attorneys discovered long ago that juries don't care what you say on paper if you show up live and say something else.

Enter video depositions, which juries like a lot more. So, when you know you have a defendant who is particularly slimy (Isiah Thomas) and will try to say stupid things in deposition b/c he thinks he is protecting himself (Isiah again) you want him recorded on videotape because you can play the video at trial.

So, Isiah is asked if it is OK to call a black woman a "bitch." He knows that the facts will show that someone was, in fact, called a bitch, so he comes up with the bizarre explanation that he did.

This case looks REALLY bad for the Knicks. They need to haul the plaintiff into a conference room and make a big confidential settlement offer.

New Mouse Pad

Microsoft Loses European Court Appeal

http://money.aol.com/news/articles/_a/microsoft-suffers-stunning-antitrust/20070917064609990001

"Stunning" defeat? Um, well, they have been on a little losing skid for some time now. Stunning in the sense that it be a big blow to their bottom line? Well, the judgment is well shy of $1 billion. As of June 30, MSFT was holding $23 billion in cash: http://www.thomsoninvestortools.com/component/firm/aol/view.asp?uid=stocks/financials&view=balanceSheet&country=US&tier=default&symbol=MSFT

That's right, cash. So basically this would be like me suffering a crushing defeat on a judgment for $300. I wouldn't like it, but if it happened 15 times it still wouldn't have much impact on my ability to move forward in life.

HM

Russia Takes Euro Title -- Black Russian Intoxicates Spain

Russia defeats Spain 60-59 (IN MADRID!!) for the Euro title. Winning basket scored by that great Russian..........J.R. Holden of Bucknell University http://www.cskabasket.com/team/?a=player&p=7357&season=54&lang=en

Holden born..........."Pittsburgh (USA)." He became a Russian citizen in a process that can best be described as "wink, wink, nudge, nudge, yeah, you are a citizen": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Robert_Holden

Well, one rather faux Russian aside, the Russians surely must have benefited from the old-school Russian coaching of..............David Blatt: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Blatt. Born 1959 -- Boston, Massachusetts.

HM

PM's Fall Baseball

Of course it broke my heart when the 11 year old PM decided not to play football this year (top 4 player in the entire league as a 10 year old and clearly the best quarterback), but then he decided to play fall baseball.....so at least he was doing something.

This is fine with me because if he has a sports future beyond high school, it will be as a baseball catcher (kid is eventually gonna be about 6'2" and 195 pounds, bats left-handed and he has an absolute cannon for an arm).

Yesterday they played a double header and his batting line was: line-out, single, single, double, double, triple, sac fly, walk. The best moment of the day was when he hit the triple and passed first base. To see the boy heading for a triple was like watching a deer in full stride.

Anyway, forgive me for this post, but when you are middle-aged, short and chunky, it does your heart good to see your tall, slim son excel at sports.....

When I See Notre Dame, I See.......

a complete void of talent. I think Clausen has the skill to be a starting QB in college, but he certainly doesn't impress me as much as a young Brady Quinn.

They have no quality D-1 receivers, their running back(s) look like they are running in molasses. Their offensive captain is a kid from tiny Litchfield, Minnesota!!! He might be a 3rd round NFL pick, maybe.........that's ND's offensive captain. The offensive line can neither pass block nor run block. This despite the fact that the pre=season comments were that ND was "Loaded" on the o-line and at wide receiver!!!!!!! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17051890/

Now, let's compare the paucity of talent at ND with what they have going on at USC. St. Paul, Minnesota's Michael Floyd (Cretin-Durham Hall HS) is rated the #7 prospect among high school receivers. He would start immediately for ND and they would have no choice but to throw him the ball 37 times a game. The report I heard on the radio is that when Floyd sent his information to USC, they told him that they MIGHT offer him a scholarship IF he attended a USC football prospects camp and did well!!!!!!

That tell you about all you need to know about the talent pipelines at ND and USC. Let's make a "can you get a hot girl and have sex with her" comparison -- in such a comparison USC is Tom Brady; Notre Dame? Mike Brady.

Orenthal -- Arrested

http://news.aol.com/story/ar/_a/simpson-faces-charges-in-robbery-case/20070914101509990001

My opinion -- I think O.J. probably did hire people to steal back what he viewed to be "his" property, but I think the prosecutor will have a hard time proving the case based upon testimony of low-life Vegas witnesses.

In an unusal move, Nevada authorities have agreed to give O.J. the same fair playing field he had in his criminal murder trial: the case will be tried in East St. Louis with Marcia Clark and Chris Darden prosecuting; Clark and Darden will consult with Kobe's bulldog-like prosecutors from Eagle, Colorado on how to be most effective and aggressive prosecuting the matter.

Wade Wilson -- Roger Goodell Went Too Easy on Patriots' Coach

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3019472

Not often that you see someone come out and basically call Roger Goodell too lenient. So, basically, Wade is calling out Roger Goodell as a wuss, a wimp, a wussy little fraidy cat.

John Clayton (the Chicken Little lookalike) agrees: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?id=3018407

So, Roger Goodell, are you willing to admit that you are a wussy little fraidy cat? Or are you going to give Bill Belichick some REAL punishment? Or has King Roger now turned into King Puss?

(Legal Advice on a side note to Wade Wilson -- better bone up on your legal analysis. If you waive your right to appeal, you can't later turn around and say, "Well this guy got less punishment, now I want to appeal." What you do is you appeal, then if something like this happens while you are appealing, you use it to support your appeal!)

O.J. Simpson -- Thief?

http://news.aol.com/story/ar/_a/police-call-oj-a-suspect-in-break-in/20070914101509990001

I am a bit concerned that such rumors about Orenthal may tarnish his otherwise-sterling image. Watch for supportive comments soon to come from Donavan McNabb and Stephon Marbury.

I Missed This One -- Bill Maas Arrested Again

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/09/06/bill-maas-arrested-again/

Grabbed a bag that LOOKED like his carry-on bag, but it happened to have a gun in it. Airport security apparently let him still catch a plane that day!?!?!

1) Maas perhaps was inspired by Ron Paul's debate claim (both re-affirmed and disavowed) that people packing heat on planes is the key to avoiding another 9/11.

2) Maas was once thought of as a great football announcer??? Source??? "Dr. Z" article from 7 years ago where he thinks Maas is a great announcer???? I once thought Olden Polynice would make a better pro than Scottie Pippen. Can someone write an article and say, "Once considered a better pro than Scottie Pippen..."???

Dr. Z -- the same guy who is forever barring Ray Guy from the Hall of Fame b/c Dr. Z is pissed that no one thinks Tommy Davis was/is a Hall of Fame punter. When Guy's name comes up yet again for HOF induction, someone should get up and say, "Dr. Z says we can't put Ray in until Bill Maas gets in as an announcer!"

For an opinion contrary to that held by Dr. Z, please see any NFL fan or http://nobillmaas.blogspot.com/


3) I am VERY disappointed that this arrest doesn't include a hot young woman and a sex drug. http://www.hoinews.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=40095 Maas's life is spiraling out of control, but not in the correct direction! What's his next arrest? A serious zoning law violation????

Introductions, "Sam Bowie, Meet Greg Oden; Greg Oden: Sam Bowie"

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3017538

Oh......my..........God.

Oden out for the season after having microfracture surgery to repair torn cartilage in his knee.

Look, I have discussed microfracture surgery here before. http://hoopramblings.blogspot.com/2006/11/microfracture-surgery.html But riddle me this -- back in the day, you used to have the cartilage removed and you were back playing in a month or two. Now you are out a year??? Even if the reports start coming back more favorably on how much explosion a player loses due to microfracture surgery (and there are some positive reports to go with a number of negative reports) is it really worth the 11 month extra recovery time for a player?

Congrats Blazers fans, your first round pick in 2007 will net you exactly 0 points, 0 rebounds and 0 blocks this year.

Bad Day

I Like Flat Buns.....But Not On Teachers?

Carl's Jr. has decided to pull their version of "Hot For Teacher." So, summary in U.S. -- hot but mentally unstable female teachers bang their students every day, but running an ad showing a sexy female teacher? Can't do that. As a public service (to show readers how improper the ad is) I will run it here.

Isiah Hates White Knicks Fans

It WOULD explain his motivation for being such a shitty coach and GM..........!!

Dressed in a baby-blue suit jacket and dark slacks, and wearing simple pearl earrings, Browne Sanders said Thomas bristled at her efforts to get players to turn out for corporate events scheduled long before he took over the team in December 2003.

“Bitch, I don’t give a f–k about the sponsors …” Browne Sanders testified Thomas told her. “I don’t give a f–k about ticket sales.”

She also said Thomas rebuffed her March 2004 request that he sign renewal-request letters sent out to past season ticket holders with a pointed shot at loyal Knick fans.

“Bitch, I don’t give a f–k about these white people,” Browne Sanders said Thomas told her.

Browne Sanders, like Thomas an African-American, said she urged Thomas to give it a second thought, considering the Knick fan base.“I said I think you’re going to have a problem because 80% of the season subscriber base is white,” Browne Sanders testified in a strong, confident voice.

New Sexual Harassment Defense For Zeke -- "Plaintiff Is Too Tall to Harass"

Move over Larry Craig, we may have a new winner for best new defense. Did Isiah Thomas sexually harass a female employee? Her side of the story:

Thomas, a former Detroit Pistons guard who in 1996 was voted one of the NBA's top 50 players of all-time, has acknowledged that in December 2005 he tried to kiss Browne Sanders on the cheek at a Knicks game and asked "No love today?" when she pulled away, according to court papers. But the Knicks coach has disputed her allegations that he asked her to "go off site" with him for private time.

Isiah's Attorney Replies In Opening Statement:

In her opening statement, Bogas told the jury of five men and three women that Thomas never cursed at the plaintiff or propositioned her in any way.

******Bogas described Browne Sanders, a former Northwestern basketball star, as a physically imposing woman who was savvy enough to navigate the trash-talking world of professional basketball. "She's a tall woman -- with heels on, taller than Isiah Thomas," she said.

Um, OK. So, boss tries to kiss you and asks if you want to meet him "off site" -- rule of law: 1) OK if you are taller than the boss while wearing heels;; and 2) not OK if you are shorter while wearing heels.

At 5'8" or 5'9", I think the time has come for me to start considering hiring some tall help!!

This is either an unbelievably stupid defense (which should be mentioned repeatedly by the plaintiff throughout the trial) or it is code for "Jury, look, she is a frigging Amazon! Who would want to sexually harass her!?!?!?"). Either way, in my opinion it isn't exactly the level of lawyering that the Knicks should be paying $1,000 an hour for (or whatever the NYC going rate is now).

K.O.B.E.

Found this VERY unfortunate link in an article on iheartceltics.blogspot.com

Um, well, maybe Britney wasn't that bad after all.........

Patriots -- Cheaters

or I guess I should say, "chee-taaaahs" so they understand me.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3014677

It would seem to me that the FIRST penalty should be forfeiture of the win. I mean, isn't that the quickest penalty you can impose?

Second -- "multiple draft picks" -- these have to be in the first or second round in order to have any real impact on a team that routinely drafts 25-32 in round 1.

Finally, I believe that a direct fine should be levied upon the home of the Patriots, i.e., "New England." Look, Maine, NH, VT, CT, RI, if you want to share the MA glory when the Pats win, you ought to have to pay something when they lose. Perhaps here is a fair punishment: all New Englanders should be required to travel to NYC (city near the home of the Jets) and purchase Maple Syrup at a NYC grocery store (labeled "NYC syrup," but actually made elsewhere) for $12 a quart. They then should be required to rent a small room in a Queens home for $400 a night, which would also get them a small continental breakfast in the morning.

I would say that this last suggestion is a joke, but Roger Goodell is so power crazed that he may choose to impose that penalty just so he can test what he currently views to be a "sorta questionable" area of his divine power.

Shawne Williams -- Busted

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3013965

Traveling with a front seat passenger who was carrying a stolen gun, S-Will told officers that he was "unaware" of the presence of the "cigar-sized" marijuana joint being smoked by his passenger (see pic). Next up -- claiming a "wide stance" was somehow to blame.

Larry Bird, "I am disappointed." Pacers fans probably hear those words and pray, "Please, God, don't let Bird trade for another overpaid white player!! We don't need Brian Scalabrine!"

Some recent song lyrics offer up a few words of advice to S-Will:

He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.
Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded, waiting,
to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by......Wasted

Kid Rock Punches Tommy Lee

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20070910/mtv-awards-fight/

I wonder if, while throttling Tommy Lee, Kid offered up his own immortal words:

Cause chaos, rock like Amadeus
Find West Coast p**sy for my Detroit players
Mack like mayors, ball like Lakers
They told us to leave, but bet they can't make us
Why they wanna pick on me...lock me up and snort away my key
I ain't no G, I'm just a regular failure I ain't straight outta Compton I'm straight out the trailer
Cuss like a sailor...drink like a mick My only words of wisdom are just, "Radio Edit." (unedited version -- "Suck My ***k")

Britney Spears -- Um, Well, She Tried

Imagine ladies -- you have had two kids and you are still 20 pounds over your best weight and you have practiced the dance routine for one hour versus the required 10............and you have given up on the idea of making people actually believe you can sing.

You would do the following performance:

"MY Bad....."

There is perhaps no phrase less dear to my heart than "MY bad..." Attributed by some to Manute Bol (I think incorrectly): http://www.bookofjoe.com/2006/02/the_origin_of_m.html

The phrase makes sense when it is in a situation where others watching might have blamed one party for another's mistake (for example, guy runs an out pattern and you throw a fly pattern -- if he is at fault, he might say (with accompanying gesture) "my bad" to let the crowd know that you are not an idiot for throwing the pattern he should have run.

That said, the phrase and gesture is now used any time a guy makes an obvious mistake (traveling on a wide open dunk, missing a guy by 10 feet with a pass). No need to say "MY bad" buddy, everyone knows it was your fault and/or there was no one else there!!! Well, I think that last night in Oregon, we may have heard "MY bad" uttered after this slight issue of burning down your neighbor's house.....................because you thought they stole your keys.......................which were hanging from your pocket the whole time......................

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20687668/

Howard Porter -- Killed When Seeking Out a Crack Whore

http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/42-09052007-1402308.html. Toxicology reports came back negative for drugs in Porter's system, but one expert in the field indicated that crack has such a short half-life that there is no way to know.

Ultimately, it does not matter. The final result is that the married Porter at age 58 had a fairly comfortable life and he drove his nice car into a rough area of town. He carried some money and some crack cocaine so he could make a deal with a local prostitute for sex in return for drugs and/or money.

Either A) someone saw his car and just followed the hooker to her apartment without her knowledge to rob Porter; or B) the hooker was in on it. But again, who cares? A man is dead because he desperately sought out a St. Paul hooker. Unlike the white middle-aged guys who sought out a St. Paul hooker on craigslist.com (getting instead a police sting), Porter actually found a real hooker and got beaten to death.

Someone once said that "baseball is a metaphor for life, football is a metaphor for war, and basketball is a metaphor for struggle." Howard Porter, great basketball player.....but his life was an awful struggle that did not end well....RIP.

Buster Olney -- Rick Ankiel Is Drug Man?

http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=3008467&name=olney_buster&univLogin02=stateChanged&action=login&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fespn%2fblog%2findex%3fentryID%3d3008467%26name%3dolney_buster%26univLogin02%3dstateChanged

Pretty harsh commentary with pretty scant evidence.

Troy Glaus is also mentioned on espn.com today as getting HGH mailed to him. Big heavy-muscled guy, always hurt, a steroid user???? Hall and Oates ask you to "Say It Isn't So."

Novak Djokovic's Tennis Impersonations

Roddick, Agassi, Nadal, Sharapova and Federer. Given how few distinguishing characteristics Federer has, the Federer impersonation is quite good.

The kid Djokovic is 20 (and his mom looks 30) and earlier this year he beat both Nadal and Federer in the same tourney. So, he has some future!

Southwest Says Girl's Outfit "Too Sexy" To Fly

Now, no doubt that the skirt is very short, but her breasts are covered.

Haven't seen yet whether she was "going commando." If not, I am not really sure what the objection was -- sitting on the plane you can't see her butt, so unless guys were getting a clear shot (as Carrie Fisher once said) "all of the way to Florida" then I think Southwest overreacted here....

See also: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/braun/20070905-9999-1m5braun.html

Eddie Griffin (the living one) Censored for Using the N word

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,295898,00.html

This is so reminiscent of the PC craze of the early 1990s when no one could say "hurtful" words like "fat" or "ugly." Black comedian, can't do his routine. I somehow doubt that he was trying to harm his race or express his approval for racist attitude toward black people. Wow.

Darko Milicic -- Um, Angry

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/09/05/darkos-venemous-tirade/

per the "Stop Mike Lupica" web site, here is the translation of Darko's tirade against the refs in the Serbia/Greece tilt:

Serbian curses are extreme and cannot be literally translated, because we say stuff that doesn't make sense in English. But if you were to do a literal translation, it would go like:

Darko: "These 3 $hithead referees robbed us, that's what happened, I'm gonna fuk em up all 3 of them, mothafukas all 3 of them, fuk your mom conceded Italian biatch, that's all I have to say...

Reporter: "Darko, relax, impressions of the game...

Darko: "He's a $hithead man, $uck my *ick a little, write that down, all 3 of them, the first, second and the third, I don't give a fuk who they are, write that down."

Reporter: "you guys really fought in there..."

Darko: "Fought? Those muthafukas didn't whistle anything they $hitted their pants, I'm gonna fuk his wife... if he has a daughter her too... they didn't make any calls..."

Conway Twitty and Sam Brownback

GOP Lookalikes Debate

Few of the GOP hopefuls could attend the FoxNews debate tonight so many, instead, sent living celebrities or celebrity impersonators:

1) Mitt Romney -- Sent George Hamilton. My lord, the guy claiming to be "Romney" must work on his tan 24/7. Here is an idea, Romney campaign, we already have a guy who spends like 26 weeks a year on vacation, maybe you want to project a more studious image. I was waiting all night for a quote from "Love At First Bite." Best line (explaining his Massachusetts fee increases), "And it wasn't $500MM, it was $262MM." Basically similar to telling your girlfriend's dad: "Sir, her bra was still mostly on her right breast."

2) Rudy Guliani -- Sent a Mr. Magoo impersonator. When you wear glasses and look directly into the camera and you don't appear to have any eyeballs, that is somewhat off-putting. Favorite line, "I moved NYC to #191 in violent crime.....better than 189 small cities." If ya can't see, math becomes harder.

3) Sam Brownback -- Sent Conway Twitty impersonator. I would have sworn he was gonna break into "Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man." If only Ann Coulter would dye her hair black and cast a less masculine look, she could serve as Loretta Lynn for the legendary duet (which, I am told, was featured in 2004's Grand Theft Auto San Andreas). Best line (when asked about Larry Craig's decision NOT to resign), "He already made his decision." Um, which one, Conway?

4) Duncan Hunter -- Sent a Grandpa Munster impersonator. I heard someone on the radio on the drive home state his support for Duncan Hunter. Percentage of non-blind female vote going for Duncan Hunter? Maybe 4%. Best line: none. Sorry, I just couldn't listen I was so transfixed by the eyebrows and his decision to look randomly to the side, as far away from the camera as possible.

5) Mike Huckabee -- Sent a Mr. Haney impersonator from Green Acres -- To his credit Haney/Huckabee had my favorite line of the night. When asked how he could replace the income tax with his 23% sales tax if the Bush Tax Study Group found that you would need a 34% sales tax to replcae the current income tax, Haney/Huckabee said, basically, "Well, they didn't actually consider my plan.......which is 23%." I swear I could hear Spinal Tap's Nigel Tufnel saying, "..........These go to 11!"

6) Ron Paul -- lacking money, Paul sent an old crotchety guy off the street who looks like any general discontented 65 year old you might hear complaining about life. The old guy was asked if "Ron Paul" really meant it when he said that 9/11 would not have occurred if passengers had been allowed to carry guns onto the planes. Old crotchety guy responded by saying that he, "Ron Paul," was misquoted and that the problem was airlines should be responsible for private security on the planes........and (noting that he was losing the audience) if folks were packing heat then 9/11 would not have occurred!!!! The old crotchety guy thus disavowed a statement and re-made the same exact statement all within 30 seconds!! You get what you pay for, I guess....

7) John McCain -- lacking even Paul's funds, he was forced to come himself, which he enjoyed because he is rarely invited to GOP functions anymore. Best line -- use of the dictionary definition of "amnesty" to defend his pro-illegal immigrant stance. See, if Noah Webster were alive today, he would support what I proposed (as does Ted Kennedy).

8) Tom Tancredo -- Sent the Invisible Man -- I basically never saw him on the screen. Best line: again, no idea. I would guess something like, "White skin good, brown skin baaaaad" or something like that. But to be clear, that is just a guess.

Old News -- Wade Wilson, Coach, Suspended For HGH Use

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/printedition/cs-haugh-onbear02sep02,1,5361652.story?page=1&coll=cs-sports-print

Um, OK. He has such bad problems from his diabetes that he cannot see properly...........so he buys HGH off the Internet?

This makes no sense.
If you are a diabetic, you should realize what a life and death struggle you are in with that disease. If your vision starts to go, you damn well better get some serious medical attention from a real-life doctor, not Dr. Nick's On-Line Roid Sales, Inc.

Let me throw out a wild theory. Wilson was pushing toward 50 and his body just wasn't holding muscle in the manner he liked. His two choices were 1) slim down and lose muscle; or 2) keep trying to maintain muscle but get heavier. He chose Door #3 -- buy HGH over the Internet.

Hard to believe this gets him suspended (he gained no advantage, neither did his team), but King Roger Goodell has blindfolded himself and started swinging the sword, he won't stop anytime soon.

By the way, good question on the radio today. Travis Henry gets his ass hauled in before a judge who says, "Stop buying cars and start paying child support." Is this grounds for a suspension based upon "conduct detrimental to the league"? How about just the whole 9 kids, 9 ladies, no wife? At SOME point have we finally reached the point where that is outside of King Roger's domain? If so, why? I mean, Travis Henry certainly subjects the league to far more ridicule than does Wade Wilson's situation...........Right?

Shaq's Divorce Claim -- Wife Misappropriating Assets

http://www.tmz.com/2007/09/05/oneal-calls-foul-on-wife-files-for-divorce

Gotta say, pretty clever. Serves The Diesel right for going only with 2 mothers for 5 kids. Travis Henry has to be chuckling and saying, "My women can't get at MY money!"

Nada-L? No, it is Nada-W

"Rafa" (as he likes to be called) was more like "Awfa" in losing to countryman David Ferrer last night. Congrats, however, to Rafa in keeping expectations/disappointment low due to "injury" -- not since Michael Johnson grabbed his hammy in his 150 meter match race has we seen such a clear sign of "I know I can't win, I guess I better be really injured."

This leads one to inquire -- exactly how many majors has old Rafa won off-a the clay of Roland Garros?

That would be.....................nada. So, in the all-time pantheon of major tournament winners off the clay, Rafa ranks below the following greats: Roscoe Tanner, Yevgeni Kafelnikov, Pter Korda, and Thomas Johansson. All have one title.

Nadal -- a slightly better Gustavo Kuerten??????

Michigan Falls Out of the Top 25

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/rankingsindex

How does anyone actually give them votes? They lost AT HOME to a 1-AA club. Lost, home, 1-AA.

They have no other game results to balance out the most embarrassing college football upset of my lifetime, yet they get enough votes to place #27?

Is there any clearer indicator of how worthless college football polls are? Worst loss of the past 43 years, no other wins..............um, 27th best. Does this mean that Appalachian State should be given an honorary #26 spot or higher for a week? Actually, make that much higher. You lost a home game to a club and you stayed at #27. That means that the voters felt it wasn't a big deal that you lost and the club that won basically was expected to beat you. So, ASU??? #15-20???

HM

Mickelson Over Tiger

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3555208

Perhaps this gives Andy Roddick some hope as he tries to bring his record against Roger Federer all of the way up to a lofty 2-13????????

Since I know someone somewhere is saying it, I guess I will ask -- is Phil now just simply a better golfer than Tiger?

:-)

Larry Craig -- "Wrong Place, Wrong Time"

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3555208

I have not actually watched the interview, but given how naive his kids are, where is their criticism of the people who placed the toilet paper roll? I mean, after all, the Senator was just reaching down repeatedly to pick up a stray piece of toilet paper (once it was called toilet paper, twice just paper).
Had he not had to chase the stray "paper" all this doesn't happen.

Summary of the defense -- "I asked my dad (step-dad, but ignore that for a hot tick), have you cheated on my mom? He said no. So I asked again sternly, and he STILL said no. End of story."

Sigh. Then his old ranching buddy came for a fishing trip so he had to go.

Argentina Embarrassed 118-91, Team USA takes first at FIBA Americas

http://www.usabasketball.com/news.php?news_page=07_mtoa_game_10

After a rather unimpressive semi-final win against Brazil, an Argentine player crowed, "Why do people talk about the guys who AREN'T here when they should be talking about the guys who ARE here?"

Why? Because you absolutely got your asses kicked by Team USA by 37 in the final. Because you allowed LeBron to go for 31 (coaching clue for the Argentina staff -- LeBron, best player in the world, perhaps you want to guard him? When he goes for 2, 3, 4 three-pointers made, maybe get up on him before he goes 8 for 11).

But you really cannot totally blame the coaching. When you allow 5 consecutive dunks, that is a sign that your team lacks both defensive toughness and heart.

Verdict on Team USA -- the guys who I gave high marks to (Kidd/Melo/LeBron/The Devil) did an awesome job. Michael Redd had a two game slump, but started and ended well from 3.

If LeBron is gonna shoot 65% from 3, you are NEVER EVER going to beat Team USA because Melo is having an unusual night if he isn't going 55-70% from 3. So, you got 2 guys going 10 of 14 from 3? Maybe 15 of 20? It is all over for the other team. The addition of Jason Kidd give the U.S. a guy who can push the ball and who will push the ball no matter what. So, with Kidd on the floor the U.S. is going to push the ball even after made baskets, so they will get 10-12 dunks or layups a game.

How to beat team USA? Slow the game down when you have the ball, limit possessions, force the "US Americans" (copyright pending) to toss the ball down low to Stoudamire and Howard, use your fouls up on those guys and make them shoot free throws, punish the U.S. with pick-and-roll and aggressive drives to the hoop, jack a ton of 3s and hit the offensive glass, when you get an offensive board, take it out and use the whole shot clock again.

Of course by 2008, LeBron will be even better, so will Melo, Kidd is getting old, but Deron Williams will learn a lot about the proper way to play from Kidd and they should get more even playing time in 2008, and..................Durant and Oden might take over for Chandler and Stoudamire. If we can get two big young mobile 7 footers inside to control dribble drives and sweep the glass (even on longer rebounds) it is all over for international clubs....

HM