Old Photo of John McCain With Sarah Palin

I KNEW I had seen them together before!

Katherine Harris, Michelle Bachmann, Condi Rice -- Oh, What Might Have Been!

McCain selects the hoops-playing, animal-killing, beauty queen Sarah Palin as his VP choice, leading me to ask -- why were at-least-equally-minimally-qualified GOP females passed over?

I mean, Katherine Harris, Michele Bachman and Condi Rice all hail from states with more electoral votes than Alaska. Why are they left out?

Let's analyze:

1) Harris -- OK, she pissed off a lot of GOP folk when she refused to back out of the Florida Senate race in 2006 (should have called Tim Pawlenty and learned how to be a proper Karl Rove lap dog), but folks SHE HELPED STEAL A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION FOR YOU!!!!!!! Where is the payback? Where is the loyalty? Only a small House of Reps reward?

She served as Florida Secretary of State, she served in Congress for goodness sake. AND, while I am sure that her 1984 picture would not rival Palin's, she has, well, taken not-inexpensive steps to improve her looks in recent years.

Proof She Can Go The Extra "Kook" Mile -- advised voters in 2006 that Christians could only vote for Christians and that only Christians should be allowed to win; prayed that God would convert all Jews to Christians.

2) Bachman -- she is equally as right-wing nutty as Palin. In fact, I doubt that there is any right-wing position that you could not get Bachman to defend. Her drawback is that she comes off as more of a "girly girl" than a jock and hunter, so she doesn't have that same draw that Palin does amongst 300 pound guys hunting on ATVs in South Carolina. But she smooched George Bush in public (much to Condi's chagrin -- pictured) for like 12 seconds and wanted a lot more. Doesn't that count for anything?

She is a Congress person from a key swing state and has been in office as long as Palin. While she somewhat lags Harris in "trashy" appeal (spending her money more frugally), she has been recently dressing in nicer outfits and appears on TV heavily made up and with extremely wide open eyes (suggesting either great energy and awareness or Botox, or both I guess).

Proof that She Can Go The Extra "Kook" Mile -- banned "Aladdin" from a school she was involved with because it encouraged paganism; hid behind a bush (not a typo, was a shrub, not "Shrub") to view an opposition rally; claimed to have been physically assaulted in a bathroom by political opponents.

Again -- where is the love?

3) Condoleezza Rice -- now it cannot be denied that Condi lacks the sort of "hot older woman" appeal (she is never married and has no kids) exhibited by Bachman and Harris, but once she fixed her hair style she has become OK looking and she is thinner and sleeker than the other two.

My research seems to indicate that she has never been actually elected to any office, but she has served in high-ranking White House positions for many years. And she is black (Obama received 98% of the black vote in some late primaries against Clinton, indicating to me that some percentage of those votes were cast saying, "Black candidate? Have to vote for him."), providing some alternative to Obama.

Proof That She Can Go The Extra "Kook" Mile -- She is a highly thought of academic who clearly knew better, but she STILL supported the Iraq War and continues to do so even today; she defends the position that wireless wiretaps on U.S. citizens as part of "data mining" are perfectly constitutional despite the fact that she is extremely well educated and must know better.

Rice, however, suffers from the fact that she is an academic (anyone who is smart is inherently bad to certain GOP voters) and that she hasn't yet stated that we should teach in science class that God reached down from a cloud and made everything one day at a time for 6 days.

Oh well. There is always 2012 ladies. Get a gun and a basketball and start shooting!!

Sarah Palin -- Thoughts

Look, I grew up in the sticks and I understand life there pretty well. So I certainly understand why McCain would want to shore up his base in the rural areas of Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Iowa, Missouri, etc. by selecting Palin.

If it is possible, she is to the right of Mike Huckabee on social issues. She has a kid going into the military, a new kid with Down's Syndrome who she refused to abort, a lifetime membership in the NRA, etc., etc., etc.

She has a wonderful back story to someone my age who grew up where I did: basketball player, outdoors person, beauty queen (almost winner of Miss Alaska), small town girl (when you play in the "small school" division of Alaska basketball, I imagine that is, in fact, quite a small school).


And I realize that she had to want this job and campaign behind the scenes for it.


But I cannot help but feel sorry for her. Everything she has ever done or said is going to be used against her. She has already been referred to on Blogs as "worse than Quayle" and "less qualified than anyone other than maybe Admiral Stockdale." In short, you can't help but feel that she is in way over her head.

Her hubby is apparently an oil guy, but otherwise this is sort of a big middle finger salute to the "rich" wing of the party.

(One wonders if Sarah got the nod only after McCain scared the living hell out of "The Base" with the Lieberman/Ridge gambit.)

I think a far more logical choice would have been Huckabee (believes the same things, but has more government experience).

Oh well -- at least he didn't pick the heavily-Botoxed Michelle Bachman!!


HM

Finding Sarah Palin Pics

So, VP Candidate Sarah Palin was runner up for Miss Alaska, so I figured I could find a swimsuit pic of her (Miss Alaska -- must have a swimsuit competition, right?).

So I found one promising link. Clicked on the link, here is a cut and paste of the screen I got:

You have been blocked from entering this site.
You have attempted a Scripting attack on this site.
All of the following information has been gathered to assist the webmaster should this need to be reported to local or federal law enforcement.
If you think this is a mistake you can contact the site webmaster at webmaster(at)encyclocentral(dot)com.
Be SURE to include the following information in any email!User Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; AOL 9.1; AOLBuild 4334.34; Windows NT 5.1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.30)Query String: name=News&file=article&sid=17310GET String: name=News&file=article&sid=17310POST String: Remote Address: 64.12.116.18Client IP: noneForwarded For: noneDate Blocked: 2008-08-07 @ 00:43:42 UTC GMT +0000Block expires: Permanent
PLEASE: bear in mind that even if you have done nothing wrong, you may be getting page due to someone's misuse of the site in your ip range

So, trying to find Sarah Palin in a one-piece? Violation of federal law. I guess that they don't WANT these pics out there? Why not? She looked like a babe from the head shot.

McCain-Pawlenty -- Thoughts of a Minnesota Democrat

Pawlenty has abruptly left Denver and canceled all his public appearances. So, he may be the one.

My thoughts on Tim Pawlenty:

1) From reports of people who knew him -- not overly impressive as a youngster. Hockey player, but not a particularly good one. http://www.citypages.com/2004-01-28/news/a-portrait-of-the-governor-as-a-young-weenie/ Is from South St. Paul (Democrat area, blue collar) but chose to move to Eagan (more suburban, less blue-collar).

2) When he was in the legislature, he was basically a moderate Republican for a long time. Then he wanted to seek higher office.

3) He thought about running for Senator, but then got a call from Dick Cheney saying "get out of the way, we want Norm Coleman for that spot." He complied.

4) He needed to beat a guy named Brian Sullivan for the GOP nomination for Governor. The rap on Pawlenty was that he was not very conservative. So to get the endorsement he had to sell his soul to the right wing and agree that when Governor he would be as right wing as possible. He got the endorsement. He has generally done whatever the right wing has instructed ever since that day.

5) Pawlenty has never received 50% of the vote for Governor. He has won because the good Independence Party candidates have drawn enough votes away from poor Democrat candidates that Pawlenty could get the most votes.

6) GOP suffered large losses in the 2006 legislative races while Pawlenty managed to squeak by.

7) Has cut the ridiculous mullet hair that he had for years upon learning that he was a VP candidate.

8) Was Catholic before he married his wife, but now claims to be basically Baptist.

If Tim Pawlenty becomes VP (and possibly President was McCain dies in office) it will be a remarkable event.

-- not from a wealthy or well-known family

-- no particularly stellar academic career

-- no evidence that his legal career was anything great

-- no military experience

-- not particularly well-known or impressive before his political career

-- not exactly a huge success as a legislator

-- the one large political campaign he ran (Jon Grunseth) ended in the candidate's withdrawal

-- never elected to statewide office by a majority of the vote

-- not regarded in his state as a particularly good Governor

-- in 2007 had a major Interstate bridge collapse due to insufficient maintenance -- a national story and embarrassment for Minnesota

Stop me when we reach a point where you would say, "Yep. Guy has to be at the top of the VP list."

Now, in hindsight, the Dems probably opened the door for a Pawlenty VP deal when they chose Biden. Biden is not particularly bright and he has never done anything particularly well outside of politics. He is a bland, unimpressive speaker (as we saw in Denver) and he is basically a mediocre white guy.

Pawlenty is a poor speaker and very dull to listen to. He matches up well with Biden. I think that had Obama selected Clinton, Pawlenty's hopes die very quickly.

Pawlenty's greatest strength is that he is a ball of clay that can be molded any way you want. Need a born-again? He will be one. Need someone raised Catholic? He will be one. Need a working class guy? Sure. Need a suburban guy? Sure. Need someone to slash and burn Democrats? Will do that (vetoed every bonding bill proposed for the districts of St. Paul Democrats when they crossed him, irrespective of merit). Need someone to sit, smile and say nothing? His greatest skill.

So we shall see, but I wanted to get ahead of the curve on this.

Team USA Prospects for 2010 and 2012

Assume that Kidd is gone and that Boozer has tired of playing not at all and that Michael Redd realizes that he is no longer star material, that leaves Team USA with:

Paul, Deron Williams
Kobe, Wade
LeBron, Carmelo, Tayshaun Prince
Bosh
Howard

I would assume that Tayshaun might question how "worth it" it is to be called into spot duty. So, let's toss him off 2010 as well.

So you have 8 guys back. Gotta add 4.

Size -- need size. Your two most likely big guys are Andrew Bynum and Greg Oden. Oden would be the far superior choice if he could ever get healthy. He is leaner, quicker and more able to chase foreign bigs. Tyson Chandler is an alternative.

Another PG -- primary choices: all the rookie guards -- so Mayo, Rose, Bayless, Westbrook have to show whether they can handle the ball. All are decent sized, which is a must on the international level.

Someone to take Prince's place -- might be Prince. Might be Battier, though he isn't getting any younger. Might be someone we have never heard of. Anthony Randolph?

Shooter -- the inside track currently appears to be held by Kevin Durant. I would appreciate this pick more if he would shoot a higher percentage and get the OCCASIONAL assist! Kevin Martin also mentioned.

PF -- Now how about this? The next set of games is in 2010. By then Garnett and Duncan should be staring their limited futures dead in the face. Could we get Garnett or Timmy to play as a last hurrah? That would be pretty sweet.
Al Horford has also been mentioned -- 'cept Al is not a U.S. citizen as we speak (Dominican born).

If I could get them all healthy, I would like to add Oden, Garnett, Durant and the best point guard.

That would give you:

Paul, Williams, rookie
Kobe, Wade
LeBron, Durant, Carmelo
Garnett, Bosh
Howard, Oden

I think you could win some games with that squad.


HM

Summer Olympics 1984 -- Part II

(look below for Part I).

In late July I began getting calls from my high school friends. Do you want to come and play doubles tennis with us at night? Now life on the farm as a hired hand is more than a tad boring, so sure, tennis is great. But I can't play until after 7 -- fine.

Now I had added 90 minutes of tennis to my daily schedule.

I was fast becoming a physical monster, 190 was long gone (I apologize 190 -- will you come back and see me some day?). I was looking squarely at 180 and I was basically nothing but muscle (some background -- I was 5'2" 138 as a 12 year old my last year in Little League, 180 as a high school senior playing 3 sports and working in the farm).

Then came the Olympics -- I moved my household chores around so I could watch the Olympics. I watched the Olympics (or had them on) every hour I was in the house. I ditched the aerobics show for Olympic viewing. I watched equestrian. I watched team handball. I watched anything they would show. I watched volleyball live at night. I stayed up late. I would get up early if necessary (generally was not). I watched the Olympics, I would guess, 87% of the time it was on.

But I still had my wood pile and I was going back to school in September and although I split an ungodly amount of wood (often barefoot -- yikes was that dumb) it seemed I would never get to the end of the damned pile.

Then I got a girlfriend. Girl I played tennis with admitted that though she had always hated me, she now thought I wasn't so bad. Now I am all messed up. What do I do now? Good lord. From my most loser-ish summer ever to the busiest possible one ever.
Fortunately she liked the Olympics and I could double-dip there at times, going to her house to watch the Olympics after tennis.

My workout plan was achieving unbelievable results -- by the end of August I was 169 pounds. I bought some new pants for a fancy date -- size 30 waist. 30. (OK, I also bought a size 31 at the same time, but I had to buy the 30 as well just so I could tell you guys 24 years later that I once wore a size 30 waist).

Did my house work around the TV schedule for the Olympics, split wood for 4 hours every day, went to play tennis, then I would sneak in a quick date of some sort after tennis and get home to watch volleyball. I was such a nice guy that by the end of the summer I even admitted to my parents that I was, in fact, dating the girl I played tennis with. Even brought her to the house a couple times.
I even took her out in public to the County Fair!!

As Labor Day weekend arrived, that Saturday I put on the gloves and headed out to the wood pile. I split for 3+ hours until my dad came out and looked at me and said, "You can stop." I said, "Dad, you said I needed to split the whole pile, I think I can make more progress." He said, "Hey. No one I know could have split that whole pile in an entire summer. You did a fine job. We have enough split wood now for 3 winters. Go on in and call your girlfriend. Tell her we are going to go swimming and invite her."

And I did. And we did.

Thus ended my summer of 1984. Almost 50 pounds and 24 years ago in a world of network-only TV, wooden tennis rackets, drive-in movie theaters and a person dumb enough to split wood with a sledgehammer and an axe while barefoot.

Just a story for your consideration.......

HM

Summer Olympics -- 1984

I love watching the Summer Olympics, always have. So I thought I would bore you with my favorite Summer Olympics year -- 1984.

In 1984, I had just turned 20. I came home from my 2nd year of college to find that I had no job. My father was the high school guidance counselor, but he took the position with his middle child (i.e. me) that I was to receive no help from him in getting a job. I had to get a job on my own.

Well, it isn't easy getting a job in the sticks if you have no adult helping you out, so I had no luck (not that I tried real hard). So around mid-June I talked to my mom and asked if I could help her around the house. Sure, says my mom (who worked in the summer as did my dad). Every morning I will leave you a list of household chores and I will get some outside chores from your dad. When I get home around 5 I will expect that dinner will be ready and all the chores will be done.

Hey, good enough. My mom had hired a 190 pound maid. (Weight will become important later).

So every day during the week I would wake up and get my list. I decided that I would split my day into three parts -- 10-12, 2-4, 4:45-end of dinner. Generally I would do the inside work in the morning, my dad's farm assignments in the afternoon and then make dinner.

After the 4th of July my dad determined that I was still not doing enough work (my mom was ecstatic that she never had to clean or make dinner) so he assigned me to work the wood pile. We had a wood burning stove that we heated most of the house with in the winter (oil furnace was kept at 60 degrees max). In 1983 we had cut down 100 trees or so and cut them into logs and brought them to a pile beside the barn. It was enormous. Now dad had decided that my goal for the summer was to split (by hand) all of that wood. My tools were a sledgehammer, 4 metal spikes, an axe, gloves, and if I was smart (so 25% of the time) boots.

At 190, I was not exactly in A1 shape (I drank a fair amount at college and played zero sports). So the thought of splitting around 2,000 24" logs (varying from 18 to 36 inches across) into burnable wood was somewhat daunting.

But OK. If I got up at 9 instead of 10, I could finish my mom's work and get in an hour of wood splitting in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. I would still be ready to make dinner.

As I undertook this task, I realized that if I could actually do this that I would become quite a physical monster. I mean, not many people born after 1895 swing a sledgehammer 3 hours a day. Basically John Henry and me. So I set out on my quest.

At noon every day I would come in and watch the news and eat lunch. Eventually the news just sucked too bad and I flipped over to UHF. The 20-minute Workout show. I decided, what the hell? If I was gonna sweat 4 hours a day, might as well toss in some aerobics.

Now I had a new schedule:

9-11 -- house work
11-12 -- split wood
1210-1230 -- workout
1230 - 1 -- lunch
130-330 -- split wood
330-4 -- lift my brother's weights
rest
4:40 - 5 -- make dinner
6-7 -- do the dishes.

I kept this schedule through about July 20.

More to come.

Kevin Duckworth -- Dead at 44

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2008/08/former_trail_blazer_kevin_duck.html

On April 4, 1964, a chubby little white kid was born in a Catholic hospital in Urbana, Illinois. Three days earlier a chubby little black kid was born in Harvey, Illinois.

So when the chubby little white kid hears that someone 3 days older than he just suddenly up and died, it is more than a little disconcerting.

I know nothing about Kevin Duckworth the person. But I do know this about Kevin Duckworth the player. He has given dozens of big player the opportunity to make an NBA roster. After all, a second round pick in 1986 named Kevin Duckworth went from almost being cut to being a two-time Western Conference all-star and starting on some great Western Conference teams.

RIP Big Fella



Quiz: Since Kevin Duckworth was a 2nd round pick of the Spurs in the 1986, I have located only 4 guys who have made the NBA all-star team as a center despite the fact that they were not drafted in the 1st round of the NBA draft.

Name the 4 guys: clue -- two guys made it once each, one guy made it twice (once in each conference) and one guy made it 4 times in the Eastern Conference.

Norm Coleman v. Al Franken -- Is This Really The Best The Dems Can Do?

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2008/senate/mn/minnesota_senate-257.html

Norm Coleman is a former-Democrat opportunist who makes Mitt Romney look like a man of strong political principles.

So, should be easy win for Dems in Minnesota this year because we have...............um..................Al Franken. The guy who got sodomized by the gorilla in "Trading Places." That guy. Stuart Smalley.

This raises an even bigger issue -- do the Minnesota Democrats just have absolutely no decent candidates for statewide office? I mean, Tim Pawlenty would have been destroyed in his last run for governor, except the Dems nominated Mike Hatch -- a recycled politician who does not enjoy a great deal of love, even inside the Democratic Party. Hatch lost because 6.4% of voters effectively checked "none of the above" by voting for the Independence Party candidate (the same way Pawlenty won 4 years earlier when he got 44.4% of the popular vote and still won against DFL juggernaut Roger Moe as 16.4% of voters chose 3rd party candidate Tim Penny).

But how do we get Al Franken? How do we reach the point when a guy who basically has never served in government at any level can be the best available candidate for what should be an easy win?

Arg.


HM

I Tried To Call My Mom, But She Was Watching This Ad For the 40th Time

It makes me sad some times to be a Democrat. I mean, my whole life I have concentrated my attention on sports. I like my side to win.

The Democrats, however, cannot seem to even make the simplest, easiest decision and feel the need to give away their clear advantage. What does that get them? This ad reminding my mom that Obama is a bad guy and passed over Hillary Clinton for VP. From 1,000 miles away, I can hear my mom muttering, "You are damned right. That is 100% true."

Clinton Women For McCain

Um, ouch.

That is OK. Barack has Joe Biden and Joe will.........um..............well Delaware is a pretty sure bet now.

HM

Joe Biden's Past

As I anticipated in an earlier Blog item, his history of borrowing speeches and making false statements took about............0 minutes to come to the forefront: http://www.slate.com/id/2198543/

Coach K to Leave Team USA?

I heard a rumor that Coach K might end his days of coaching Team USA.

I call upon patriotic Americans such as Al Swearengen to write an e-mail to Coach K similar to the one described here and see if he won't change his mind.

Remember Al: acting together, 5 people are a fist; acting apart, they are each just one finger.....

HM

Redeem Team Would Kill Dream Team

Chris Mannix returns from hiding to say that he was wrong to say the 2008 Team would struggle to get bronze, but he also continues to say that the 2008 Team would beat the 1992 Team.

I have come around to his way of thinking. Here is my new review:

Oldest 2008 team member -- Jason Kidd: 35 1/2
Oldest 1992 team Member -- Larry Bird: 51

Current status of 1992 team members:

In OK shape: Robinson, Stockton, Malone, Drexler, Pippen
20-50 pounds above best playing weight: Bird, Magic, Ewing, Barkley, Jordan, Mullin
Never was that good as a pro: Laettner

The YOUNGEST 1992 player is Laettner at 37, and we know he can't get a 2008 NBA job as is.


So I have to think that Kobe and LeBron would eventually wear down the 5 1992 starters (picked by default since they are the only ones near playing shape). I can't imagine that Bird and Barkley could get up and down even 7 times, so Magic would have to be 6th man, followed by Ewing and Mullin, Laettner being used for foul trouble situations.

1.Paul v. Stockton -- edge to Paul. John is 46 years old and has probably lost a little quickness.

2. Kobe v. Drexler -- edge to Kobe, Clyde is also 46 and looked awfully stiff on "Dancing With the Stars."

3. LeBron v. Pippen -- this is "power against power" here. Pippen is only gonna be 43 in September and in 2007 he ALMOST registered double-doubles in two games in the Finnish league.
But, after some thought I give the edge to LeBron. Pippen always struggled to guard heavier, more powerful players, and LeBron is the best overall player in the game and he is only in his early 20s.

4. Carmelo v. Karl Malone -- Karl is 45 and he struggled to rehab that bad knee he got at age 41. But I gotta tell you, after seeing Carmelo struggle against Luis Scola, I gotta call this even.
Tie.

5. Dwight Howard v. David Robinson -- David only just turned 43 and he has had years to recover from his bad back. I know Dwight is younger and stronger and that David is old and hasn't played in a long time. But David's last game was a win in the NBA Finals and he went for 13 points and 17 boards. Dwight's last game was against Spain and he got 8 points and 5 rebounds playing a lot against Mark Gasol -- also got dunked on/posterized by Rudy Fernandez.

I gotta go with David on this one.

Bench -- When you have 1992 guys pushing 50 and/or 300 pounds on their bench, you gotta say that the bench strongly favors 2008.

So, 2008 defeats 1992. I will go so far as to say that I think they would kill them (perhaps literally if Barkley were forced into too much action).

We Badly Need Rain

And we badly need the return of great rock ballads/videos as well:

More On Coach K's Dominance

When USA Basketball needed to return to glory -- to whom did they turn?

Duke's coach (top right).

That is all you need to know.

HM

Coach K -- Great Job

As a Duke guy, I have to date managed to avoid excessive praise of Coach K as coach of Team USA.

And I am sure that he got a ton of help from his assistants.

But "uneasy lies the head that wears the crown" and at the end of the day if Team USA lost, the assistants weren't taking the blame.

Here is what I saw from Coach K:

1) Recognized that Wade needed a scorer's role to be at all successful; so if Dwyane was going to be on the team he needed to be given a lot of discretion to make dumb plays as well as great ones. Wade came in, played unbelievably hard, and when Kobe and LeBron were out of the game in the finals, he kept us in the game (and won it with a huge three).

2) Managed the strengths and weaknesses of Carmelo and Dwight Howard. Both guys go through stretches where they really hurt you. Both also go through stretches where they really help you and can be your best guy. K did a great job of recognizing when they were going well and he could play them and when they were falling apart and he had to sit them and play Wade and Bosh.

3) Saw that the U.S. needed all 3 point guards. Larry Brown would have just named Chris Paul his starter and played him 30+ minutes no matter what. K realized that you can play Chris Paul........to a point. You can't allow 6'5" foreign guards to play 35 minutes against a guy who is five inches shorter. K did a great job of mixing and matching Paul, Williams and Kidd.

4) Knew what guys he really should play and what guys he really couldn't. Boozer -- no. Michael Redd -- no. Kidd -- only when we really need you.

Tayshaun Prince? Ummm, sometimes.

So you really saw a 8+ man rotation from the U.S. When you get 32-32-25 from LeBron, Kobe, and Wade in big games, you have 89 of your 200 minutes taken up and you can share the other 111 among 5 or 6 guys. Great job.

So, let me put on the Duke hat: Duke is so great that our coach was able to will an undermanned U.S. club to the gold against superior competition.

(sorry, I also was channeling Leo Rautins there for a second).

And In The End -- No Sympathy From The Devil

Struggling to play anything approaching acceptable defense, victimized by their mediocre front line, facing a Spain team shooting 55%, the USA was on the verge of an embarrassing and humiliating loss to Spain. Up only 91-89 early in the fourth.

Time out.

Where could we go for a bucket? Well, when things look their bleakest you go with your talent. Not your nicest guy. Not someone you are proud of as a person. You go with the guy you know can get a shot. You sell your soul to The Devil.

Devil -- bucket. Devil - assist on a 3. Devil -- assist on a dunk. Devil 3. Devil free throw.

This gave enough breathing room until Spain scrapped back within 4. LeBron to Wade -- 3. Game over.

It wasn't pretty and everything went as poorly as possible and USA Basketball's inexplicable decision to go with a paltry front line of Howard/Bosh/Boozer finally came back to bite them in the ass. And LeBron and Kobe were both sitting early with 2 fouls.

But in the end, the U.S. is #1 in basketball once again. And it really does not matter how we got there.

What a great year -- KG gets his title, USA reclaims the gold. Am I a little embarrassed that we struggled to beat Spain without their best point guard? Sure.

Was I happy to hear "USA" again at the end of a basketball gold medal game? More than I can say.

Chris Sheridan Warns -- "U.S. Men Could Lose!" Chris Mannix -- Where Art Thou?

Oh, sorry, the first sentence was a headline for an old Blog item that I was going to post a month ago! Fortunately both the pre-game and post-game periods of all Team USA games still provide Chris Sheridan with an opportunity to restate his same column, over and over again.

Summary: Watch out! Team USA has weaknesses! I am certainly NOT saying they WILL lose, but you know what? They COULD. And if they do? You heard it here first.

It has reached the point where Sheridan should return his pay (if he gets any). Cutting and pasting the same words time and time again is not "writing."

Well, at least this time Mr. Sheridan has come up with a couple new thoughts -- U.S. only won because of a bad decision by Carlos Delfino and two bad referee calls in the U.S.'s favor.

First -- to chastise a foreign guard for taking a bad three while closely guarded is akin to chastising Shaq for lowering his shoulder and committing an offensive foul. It is a basic part of his game. It is going to happen. You have to take the good with the bad.

So Sheridan's point here is that if Carlos Delfino had shot 15 for 17 and handled the ball like Steve Nash, Argentina wins. OK. You know what, I will agree. Problem -- he is Carlos Delfino. He will have such a game against NBA competition once every 100 or so games.


Second -- Team USA has played, what? 7 games now. They have received............um.......7 favorable referee calls???? Maybe??? So they win only because they get favorable calls? Here is an idea -- when a 6'9" player is bombing a rushed three before the half, don't try to block his shot. And Sheridan's alleged second "home cooking" call (Communist China apparently now serves as Team USA's home)? A technical that was called with the U.S. up double digits. Yeah, uh huh. 2 extra points in a double-digits game that ended with us up 20 -- that made all the difference. Yep. Kings/Lakers redux. Was that Dick Bavetta out there?

CM:
I could locate no recent articles by that awesome basketball prognosticator Chris Mannix. I think (though Chris Sheridan may find some way to raise doubt on this issue) that the U.S. is now assured at least SILVER and Mannix's beloved Argentina can only possibly get bronze. (His late-adopted Greeks, Australians and Lithuanians are already eliminated as well).

Here is some analysis from Chris Mannix, July 25, 2008:

5. So ... after five days with the team, what's your prediction?

Gold: Argentina
Silver: Spain
Bronze: USA

I think {Leo} Rautins said it best Friday night: gone are the days when the U.S. can just assemble an All-Star team and expect to win. USA hoops el jefe Jerry Colangelo has done an admirable job trying to establish continuity with the team. But in the three years he has run the team, only three players -- Anthony, Howard and James -- have played each year.


More than any other competition, Olympic basketball is won through continuity.

"Most of the Olympic teams," said Rautins, "have been playing together for a long time. Greece, Spain, Argentina, these teams have ostensibly been playing together since they got their first look at the '92 Dream Team and fell in love with basketball. It doesn't matter what level of talent the U.S. puts on the floor; until the day comes when 12 NBA stars elect to skip three years of their careers to focus exclusively on international competitions, the U.S. will struggle to compete.

(I believe this is Mannix here) -- That's not naysaying. That's just the harsh reality of a global game.


Not "the U.S. may lose." Not "If Argentina plays a perfect game then they could win." Nope. None of that. Mannix quotes Leo Rautins (Effing Leo Rautins! Canada's coach? Exactly why is he the Gospel of USA Basketball or international hoops?). Mannix ACTUALLY implies that there is a chance that the U.S. doesn't get out of POOL play, which would result in a total overhaul of the U.S. program!!
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/chris_mannix/07/25/usa.canada/index.html

Mannix adopts Rautins' position that the U.S. in these Olympics (and all other competitions) will "struggle to compete." (Making it all the more amazing that Mannix would state unequivocally that the 2008 Team is better than the 1992 Dream Team -- so, 1992 Team would finish....what?..LAST in pool play?)

So, show yourself, Chris Mannix. You went out on a limb and basically predicted disaster for Team USA. No, not disaster.......mediocrity. That is your right -- but now that the U.S. is in the finals, I think you must come out and accept your whipping. It is great to go out on a limb, but when the bough breaks the cradle will fall.

HM

LeBron -- Bad Game, Good Start of 4th Quarter

LeBron did not play well today, for him, but here is LeBron's work at the start of the fourth:


9:24
LeBron James made Three Point Jumper. Assisted by Jason Kidd.
83-64

8:54
LeBron James made Three Point Jumper.
86-66

7:34
LeBron James made Two Point Layup. Assisted by Kobe Bryant.
90-69


2 minutes, 26 seconds, 8 points, up 21, game over.

Manu Turns to Manu-re -- Americans Kick Argentine Ass, 101-81

Truth be told, the U.S. did not play well and they had trouble with Argentina's zone and allowed Argentina to go from down 30-11 to down 46-40.

But once Ginobili got hurt, the Gauchos really had no chance. When you get around 30 from Luis Scola and lose, you know something has gone wrong for you.

Ginobili's injury? Let's see if Wikipedia can pick it up for me.............................nope.


ESPN -- ankle injury


Next up -- Gold Medal Game with Spain -- they beat Lithuania by 5.

McCain -- Not Sure How Many Houses He Has

In his defense:
1) He is like 1,000 years old. If you asked him how many countries bordered the continental U.S. he would struggle with that as well. The brain connectors are frying out at an alarming rate every day; and

2) When you own $13MM worth of homes, you might think that one of your homes should count as two or three or four and you might be correct.


And The Old Guy was probably a little afraid to answer the question since then he might be asked where the houses were physically located, bringing into play some fear that he might begin his answer with, "The Lousiana Territory, Oregon Territory, that area Mr. Gadsen just purchased for us for $53,000,000, the Indian land we hold for them north of Texas...."

USA Softball Versus USA Beach Volleyball -- What Makes a Historically Great Winner?

We see contrasting results today from two tremendous teams who have generally won. We come to the most important stage for both of them -- the Olympics. One overcomes an excellent opponent, one shits the bed and loses in mortifying fashion to a team they had beaten regularly in the past.

So, what is the difference?



What is the difference between May-Walsh and the softball losers?

Between Tiger Woods (historically great winner) and Phil Mickelson (sometimes winner)?

Between Michael Jordan (always) and Kobe Bryant (sometimes)?

Joe Montana and Dan Marino(never)? Joe Montana and Jim Kelly(never)?

Between Michael Phelps (always) and Katie Hoff (never)?


Here are my ideas:

1) Mental toughness. Historically great winners are more mentally tough. This is the #1 factor. Montana, Phelps, Woods, Jordan all believed that they could not be beaten at the peak of their game and they never allowed themselves to be shaken from that position.


2) Understanding your talent. I think in the May-Walsh example, you see that May and Walsh both understand that they have tremendous upside in areas of the game that they can always rely upon at any time against any opponent. Same with Montana -- understood his ability to play the game better than anyone else. What exactly did USA softball know it could rely upon? They trailed Canada 1-0 going into the 6th inning of one game. That means the primary thing you need to rely upon in your sport (that you can score on your opponent) was missing, even against a mediocre opponent.


3) Excessive amounts of talent. Not just talent to do things better than most people or even being generally "the best of the lot", but instead talent to do things at a level that no one else can approach. Jeff Van Gundy once opined about Jordan that there were plenty of guys who wanted to win as much as Jordan -- they just weren't as good. Woods at his peak was 10-15 strokes better than the 2nd best player. Now that may have shrunk to 4 or 5 strokes, but still. The talent cushion often bails the true winners out. USA softball -- when you struggle to beat Japan in extra innings, you really don't have room for the luck to go the other way. It went the other way; they lost.
From 2000 to 2004, Kevin Garnett was maybe the best overall player in the NBA. But not by much. There was no room for error. He had to rely upon factors 1, 2, 4 and 5 -- certain of which were clearly lacking.

This may be the ultimate issue for the U.S. Americans in basketball -- how much cushion do they have? If everything goes sadly wrong on one specific day, is there significant reason to worry? If so, then you default to using factors 1, 2, 4 and 5.


4) A Guiding Voice -- Walsh has May and May has her dad and the memory of her mom, and Jordan had Jackson, and Phelps has his coach and Woods had/has his father's voice in his head. Montana had Walsh.

It seems the truly great winners have something to hold on to. Some place to turn to when things get sketchy.

5) Some help and some luck. -- Who knew CBA alumni Phil Jackson and small school forward Scottie Pippen would help Jordan? Who knew that Montana's average-strength arm would find an average-strength-arm offense? How could Phelps possibly win by .07 and .01? You lose either, you are a sometimes-winner. But you aren't. How does Woods' ball possibly make the extra roll into the hole at Augusta?


Just a thought.

HM

Becky Hammon -- Just Couldn't Do It???

In just about every dramatic political thriller that you ever see, there will be that one character -- you know the one. Generally either a hulking huge guy (think The Great Khali in "Get Smart") or the thoughtful woman being done wrong by the male establishment (think Joan Allen in the "Bourne" movies) who knows all along that what he or she is doing isn't really right.

In the movies this person continues to act on the side of evil (sometimes under duress) until a key moment arrives where the person must either kill the hero or change sides. 99% of the time, they change sides. 50% of the time they are killed and 25% of the time they go to jail anyway. This character accepts their fate because, well, they did something awful and continued to do it even after they realized it was wrong.

Now let's examine the traitorous Becky Hammon. Can't make the U.S. Olympic team, so she goes and plays for RUSSIA!!!!!!! This isn't Hakeem Olajuwon playing for the U.S. instead of Nigeria. When Hakeem was growing up in Lagos, the U.S. didn't have any nuclear missiles targeted about 500 miles away from his home. When Becky was growing up in South Dakota, Russia had thousands of long-range nuclear missiles targeted at Grand Forks, North Dakota. And they were ready and willing to use them. So, going to play for a country which was one itchy trigger finger away from obliterating you, your friends and family? Not the best idea.

Add to that the fact that she grew up in RAPID CITY!! Mount frigging Rushmore. So, everything that the USSR hated about the United States is exemplified by a giant monument right by your house!!!

But ultimately Becky decided that this did not matter. She had been done wrong by USA Basketball and she DESERVED (dammit!) to play in the Olympics. So she negotiated in her contract with her Russian team that if she continued to play for them they would help get her citizenship and get her on the Russian Olympic team.

Does this act sound familiar? From Anakin Skywalker in "Star Wars" to the tiger villain in "Kung Fu Panda," the movies are full of villains who felt they were not permitted their rightful place in the pecking order. Since they couldn't get what they wanted through regular channels, they would get it through joining with some evil force (The Emperor) or taking it themselves through violence (Kung Fu Panda guy). For goodness sake, this is one of the stories of "Lucifer"!

In any event. Becky Hammon threw away all ideas of patriotism and acted selfishly on her own behalf. She gave the finger to her homeland and went to play for Russia.

So, she is out on the court, playing to uphold the glory of a country that on the dawn of the Olympic Games decided to invade its neighbor (Georgia). A country who now obviously has a "head politician for life" who intends to re-live the days of the Cold War, fueling Russian expansion through charging enough for oil that SD ranchers will pay $4 a gallon for gasoline.

And today she played against Team USA in the final 4. She played like shit. The Russians lost by 15 in a game where if Hammon plays very well they win and if she plays average they have a chance to win.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...............................................................

There are a number of explanations:

1) she just isn't any good (i.e., as they say in rural NY and in rural SD -- she "sucks the big one") and that came out against the good American team

2) she had an off day

3) she realized what she was doing was horribly wrong and intentionally threw the game

4) she subconsciously was aware what she was doing was wrong and her mind and emotions would not allow her to play well

I leave it to you to decide, but I can tell you this -- when a WNBA all-star player shows up and shoots 17% from the floor, 0% from 3, 50% from the line, has an assist to turnover ratio of 1 to 2 and scores 3 points in 24 minutes of play.............ya gotta be asking yourself -- Is it possible that she looked in the mirror at that fancy Russian uniform and decided ------- she just couldn't do it?

HM

An Australia Loss That Was Fun to Watch

There was the basketball game this AM, and then there was...........this..........

Some Thoughts On Argentina....Basketball

They have a ton of NBA guys (Scola, Oberto, Nocioni, Ginobili, Delfino) so they are clearly the second most talented team in the tourney. They play excellent offense. Their defense against the Greeks? Um, not so good. One benefit they have against the Americans will be that they are good at holding the ball on offense and can convert 3s at the end of the shot clock.
They can win if they keep the score down around 75 apiece.

Nocioni tweaked his knee against Greece but returned to play the last minute.

Their on court celebration after their 2-point win in a quarterfinal was the gayest looking thing I have seen since "Will and Grace" went off the air. And maybe the gayest looking thing since The Indian from The Village People made MTV appearances covered in two inches of baby oil.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Some Thoughts On........Argentina

93% white, 70% plus Catholic, economy is heavily ag. 30 million people, 14 million of whom live in Buenos Aires.

We will basically be playing Massachusetts circa 1950.

Now if they can just naturalize all of those illegal immigrants from Bolivia and Paraguay, everything will be fine in Argentina.

HM

Song That Won't Be Played In Homes of Greek Basketball Fans

Because it IS over. Greeks miss a 3 with 4 seconds to go and can't come up with the ball in a "no holds barred" type scrum.

It's Not Over? No, Greeks, it is. Hold on to those special plays you were saving for Team USA. You can store them with the 2 timeouts Denny Green has left over from the 1998 NFC Championship Game.

Doing It Greek Style

Down 5, Greece banks in a 3 and calls time out with 30 seconds to go. Argentina ball.

Barnburner Game in Progress -- Argentina up 3, 1 minute to go, Greeks' Ball

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/player.html?assetid=1386431

Throw Aussie Basketball On The Barbie, Mate! U.S. Americans Skewer Pathetic Aussies

116-85 is an ass kicking any way you slice it. Not that the Aussies care (there was no swimming medal involved, so the country could really care less about the result in any other sport), but it was nice to watch the 14-0 run to start the second half given Team Australia's clever psychological ploy of calling the Americans by their number (not "I got LeBron" but "I have Player Number 6").

Well, for a long stretch no one seemed to "have" Player Number 10 as The Devil went on a tear (10 for 16, 25 points) and the game was over.

The Americans played about as poorly as they are capable of playing in the first half (20% from 3, 50% from the line, committed a ton of stupid fouls).........and they still led by 12.

Plus players: Kobe, LeBron, Melo
Tougher Day: Wade

We now have remaining the 5 best basketball teams in the tourney:

Spain v. Lithuania
US v. Greece/Argentina winner (Last I saw Greece was leading 40-39).

In light of recent comments by U.S. reporters, I sure as heck hope we don't play Greece again since they weren't showing us everything they had in pool play. I doubt that they will show Argentina everything they have today either, even if it leads to a loss. After all, per our sports reporters, this seems to be an acceptable strategy. Similar to when Cotton McKnight in "Dodgeball" mentioned that Average Joe's was going to forfeit and Pepper Brooks commented something like, "Whoa! Wild strategy, let's see how that works out for them!"

I am sorry to go on and on, but this whole, "sandbagging" claim makes absolutely no sense. It could only be effective if you had an offense or a defense that you used ONLY against the Americans. Right? You have to play several other games, so you would have to use your best offense or defense at SOME point, right? Right? And the U.S. will send a scout to your games, right? Or are foreign countries so wily that they are willing to absorb 1, 2, 3 losses and risk elimination just so they can MAYBE surprise the Americans in a future game with their best possibly defense/offense!?!?

Greece may be carrying this "all or nothing" strategy too far as they currently trail by 2.
http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/player.html?assetid=1386431



HM

Brooke Hogan Without Makeup

Vote on Brooke without makeup (left) versus with makeup (right):

1) Never thought she was much to look at anyway

2) Still looks good

3) Yeccchhhh

4) Huh? I was distracted.

HM

HM Take -- Obama Must Select.......Hillary Clinton

It has been mentioned and it has been dismissed, but in the Final Analysis, I think that Obama has no choice but to select Hillary Clinton.

Why?

1) His other choices are mediocre at best. From worst to best:

Worst -- Joe Biden -- Joe Biden? Mr. Comb-Over? How long will it take the GOP to rehash his speech-stealing ways from 1988 and attach it to Obama's plagaristic ways while facing Clinton? I would say 6 minutes.

Thomas Kaine? Well, he is from Virginia and....well, from Virginia....and maybe we could then win Virginia, but that would mean a black guy will win Virginia in a presidential election, so, hmmm. Maybe we win Virginia with him, huh?

Evan Bayh -- has there ever been a less charismatic figure mentioned so often in national politics? Even Dukakis was quirky and Gore was, at one time, kind of a strong good looking type. Bayh? And if you pick a guy from Indiana and get 42% of the vote in Indiana, where does that leave you overall? At least Bayh doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who will be a complete fiasco. (It does not say much when a guy is top 2 because he can probably equate to a "neutral" rating.)

Kathleen Sebelius -- well, she might encourage some Hillary voters and she might help him in Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri and Ohio (family ties). But other than Ohio, what are your real chances in any of those states? And she does not act like she really wants any part of the deal. Plus she isn't exactly what Hillary fans want. She is kinda sleepy and traditional (read "dull").


That leaves Clinton. But why Clinton?

Well, she is poison in the South, but I think you are fooling yourself if you think Obama can really win the South. He cannot hold a lead in Virginia or North Carolina in EARLY polls. How is he going to do once the Karl Rove brigade brands him as Willie Horton Part II and The Antichrist?

Clinton's strength is in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan. She helps Obama a lot there. She also may be of assistance in holding some female voters in Wisconsin and Minnesota and Iowa. And don't forget Arkansas.

The truth is, Obama lost a lot of 40-80 year old female voters by defeating Hillary. It reminds me of high school. Your best friend got dumped very rudely by a guy named Barack and now he wants to be homecoming king. Do you vote for him? Heck no. What if he says he is sorry? Nope. What if he actually gets back together with her and she starts telling you how great things are again? Well.............ya know..............

That is why Obama must select Hillary.

HM

Hugh Hefner -- Finally Senile?

Or does he just need a business loss for his taxes this year? Yeech!!!

SI.com's Chris Mannix -- Come On, Chris, Are You Even Trying?

There he is, in all of his spiky-haired glory. Perhaps if Chris spent less time on gel-related inquiries and more time thinking about what he says, well.....at least he is in awesome shape.

So why am I concerned about some 5th-level sports journalist whom I cannot even find a bio on? Well, on The Dan Patrick Show this morning Chris Mannix has said two things back-to-back that are just simply remarkable.

First -- the 2008 Olympic men's basketball team will lose in the semifinals to either Argentina, Greece or Spain and struggle to get bronze.

Second -- the 2008 Olympic men's basketball team is a better team than, and would defeat, the 1992 "Dream Team."

Mannix's excessive hair product is clearly dripping through his skull and destroying his brain. Analogies fail me here -- it is like saying that a building is the 3rd or 4th highest in its city but the highest in the history of the civilized world.

It is like saying that I dated the 4th best looking girl in my high school (graduating class 110) but she was far better looking than Marilyn Monroe or Raquel Welch or Pam Anderson or Shandi Finnessey or Kim Kardashian or someone everyone universally believes is the most stunning beauty of all-time.

You simply cannot take both positions. I actually admire Mannix for taking the first position. Unlike wishy-washy Chris Sheridan, this Chris is willing to go out on a limb and say he doesn't believe the U.S. will win. OK, I am more than fine with that.

BUT -- if you take the position that a "good Greek team who plays well together" was actually just sandbagging in pool play and will kick the U.S.'s ass in medal play (a position taken this morning by Mannix) then how can you POSSIBLY also say that the 2008 team is better than the 1992 team?

What you are effectively saying is that a team that featured David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, Clyde Drexler, Scottie Pippen, Chris Mullin and John Stockton all in the prime of their careers would.............what? Get beat by Greece by double digits?

Who were the players on the 1992 team who didn't quite hit the 1992 games at their peak? Magic (AIDS), Bird (back), Laettner (college pick).

So you have 10 of the 50 best players in the history of the game. Chris Mannix's analysis -- would lose badly to current Team Greece.

Mannix made the amazing statement that the 1992 was basically a team selected as a "marketing move" by USA Basketball. Clearly true -- I mean, only 9 of the 12 guys had been all-NBA first or second team in the 1991-92 season. Chris Mullin, for example, was only first-team all-NBA, had only led the league in minutes and finished 6th in the MVP balloting (going 25-5-4 while shooting 52%). They were clearly just picking guys out of a hat.

Let's look just at a few really basic problems with Mannix's claim:

1) Michael Jordan had reached the absolute zenith of his skills and had reached the point where he never lost. So you are telling me that a 2008 team that beat Australia by 11 in an exhibition would beat Michael Jordan in his prime (35/6/6 with 3 steals+blocks a game in the playoffs)? Not buying that one.

2) The 1992 team featured interior play of Robinson/Ewing/Malone and Barkley, plus Bird in the minutes he could provide given his bad back (and as I recall, he was one of our top rebounders in 1992). 2008 Team USA's power players -- Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer. If this were a fight, no boxing body would sanction it.

Robinson and Ewing would walk right through Howard and Bosh, leaving no one left who could guard Barkley inside or keep him off the offensive glass (Barkley would become the 1993 MVP).

3) 2008 Team USA's primary strength is its ability to turn the opponent over and run out on the break. So, is it Chris Mannix's position that John Stockton and Magic Johnson would just be overwhelmed by the pressure and turn the ball over wildly? OK. Never happened in their entire careers, but sure, whatever you say. And certainly the 1992 team could not turn to, say, Jordan or Pippen to bring the ball up.

4) Just break it down man per man:

Robinson -- Howard : 1992 edge

Ewing -- Bosh: 1992

Malone -- Boozer: 1992

Barkley-- Prince -- 1992

Bird -- Anthony -- slight edge 2008 given Bird's physical state

Drexler - Wade -- tie

Mullin-Redd -- 1992

Jordan-Kobe -- 1992

Pippen - James -- 2008

Stockton -- Paul -- tie

Magic -- Deron Williams -- 1992

Laettner -- Kidd -- 2008

So you have a 7-3-2 advantage player-by-player for 1992. So 1992 has a huge per player advantage and they have the best guy (Jordan) and they will get every single rebound and block a ton of shots.

OK, now let's try another means of analysis. We will go with a draft -- I get to pick a team of 12 guys and leave my opponent with the other 12, whom do I pick?

I Select:

Jordan (meaning I win already)

James

Robinson

Barkley

Kobe

Ewing

Malone

Wade

Drexler

Stockton

Pippen

Mullin

So 9 of the 12 guys I pick are 1992 guys. I only take LeBron, Kobe and Wade from 2008.

You end up with Howard, Bosh, Boozer, Anthony, Prince, Redd, Paul, Williams and Kidd on your second team, playing with Bird, Magic and Laettner.

Summary -- Chris Mannix = Idiot

More on the Chinese Gymnastics Cheating

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-flumenbaum/scandal-of-the-ages-docum_b_118842.html


Word is the International Olympic Committee has now taken the allegations seriously and has appointed a former baseball umpire to verify the ages of the Chinese gymnasts. Some of his former work is depicted in the video below at about the 2 minute mark:

US Americans v. Australia in the Round of 8

Chris Sheridan writes an article today of the sort that I really despise. He makes it even worse by actually stating his wishy-washy position -- "Do I think USA Basketball will lose -- no. So I think they could -- sure."

So........what exactly is your position here? "I have watched a lot of basketball; anything can happen." Wow. So have I. PM's squad beat a team in Fort Wayne who had 5 future D-1 players when that team shot 0 for 20 from 3. So.....is this "anything can happen" column at all a helpful analysis? Could the Royals crush the Angels 12-2 in a game? Sure. Is that the way to bet? Should I go to Vegas and get odds on Royals +10 over the Angels? THAT is what I want to know Mr. Sheridan.

Here is a basic truth: when you play a sport that is not subject to biased judging (e.g. figure skating, Beijing gymnastics), either team could win if one team plays very poorly and the other plays very well. So it is completely worthless to say, "Well, Team A COULD lose."

If what Sheridan intends to say is, "I think there is a 50-50 chance that Australia wins in the quarter-finals" then he ought to say that. I would even be satisfied if he said that he will place a bet that the Aussies keep it under 10 points.

But what he has actually said is nothing. We all know the Aussies played the Americans close for 3.5 quarters recently. So your job as a sportswriter is either just to report that and say nothing, or take that information and make a bold statement with it. Sheridan does neither.

HM

He - She Is 13, I Mean 14, I Mean 16

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summer08/gymnastics/news/story?id=3534544

What is amazing here is the IOC and the gymnastic federation's refusal to consider anything outside of the forged documents presented by the Chinese Government.

So, if the U.S. Government presented a passport stating that a 13 year old girl was really 16, and every U.S. media outlet knew she was 13, and there had been actual news reports in the country stating that she was 13, would the IOC simply say, "Yeah, whatever, passport says 16 -- gotta go with that."

What I see at the Olympics is a tacit fear of the Chinese. You can criticize....mildly.....if it is late at night and no one is watching.

That's "Miss Liukin" -- If You're Nasti

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summer08/gymnastics/news/story?id=3536224

I can honestly say that it is a miracle that the U.S. finished 1-2 given how badly jobbed they were in the scoring. So, the result is correct -- but how the judges got to the final scores is, quite frankly, anyone's guess.

A sign that perhaps gymnastics has lost its way with its new scoring system: Liukin perfoms an excellent vault: 15.025 total. Chinese girls, literally, falls on her ass: 14.825.

This is akin to someone in a dunk contest doing a nice reverse dunk perfectly and getting all 6s while another person gets a 5.75 while attempting a 360 and missing the rim entirely. I mean, come on. You don't actually get either foot firmly on the ground, you didn't complete the vault -- that should be a major, major deduction and you should have no chance of a top 10 finish.

And another thing -- if we are seeking an "all around" champion, shouldn't we arrange the contests so that the best gymnasts do the same degree of difficulty on each appartatus? You have girls scoring almost 17 on uneven bars and only 2 clearing 15 on floor exercise.

This is like having a competition to find the world's greatest "all around" athlete in hockey, basketball, baseball and football where the best football player can score 17 at football and the best hockey, baseball and basketball players can only score 15 at their events. Isn't this a pretty obvious problem? Hockey guy has a great day at all events and he goes 15/15/14/14 while the football guy goes 17/15/14/13 and wins.

What you are actually finding is the person who is the best at gymnastics.........considering the fact that you can get like 2 points more at uneven bars if you are good at them.....

I also get a kick out of the fact that the international judges don't care much for chunky American Shawn Johnson on the balance beam and prefer the longer more graceful performers. So, even if you are a GOOD chunky American, we really don't want to encourage that....

Grecian Formula? Turn the Ball Over, Get Your Ass Kicked. US Americans Win 92-69

We still can't make an outside shot, and we are afraid to even take a wide-open outside shot, and we are about 60% from the foul line.

But let me tell you this -- I watched the first three+ quarters of that game, and if Kobe, LeBron and Wade are willing to play that hard on defense and if Chris Bosh actually has a pulse and starts playing like an NBA all-star, ain't no one gonna beat Team USA.

Now, here is the issue -- how can you possibly play that hard for the rest of the tourney without suffering injuries? I mean, Wade is playing his stints to the point of absolute exhaustion. If you recall from my old George Gervin piece, Wade is one of the very few guards in NBA history who have ever averaged 3.0 steals+blocks in a season while having at least 1 steal and 1 block a game. So he has the ability to be a great defender (he is 6'6", has long arms, is strong as a bull, can jump out of the gym and is explosively fast). His defensive play against Greece was outright frightening. No pass or dribble was safe. James continues to bolster his blocks total and reached the point against Greece where guys were looking for him when they drove the lane. LBJ had a block where he reached his hand over the rim and blocked a finger roll of a Greek player who was about to drop the ball in the hoop.

Chris Bosh!?!? My lord, he looked like David Robinson out there! (Bosh and the guys have actually figured out the Euro rule that a ball that hits the rim is live -- we swatted 2 or 3 off the rim against Greece). Now will that Chris Bosh greatness continue? Certainly not the way to bet, but boy it was amazing to watch this morning.

By going 3-0 the U.S. Americans now advance to the medal round, regardless of whether they beat Spain or Germany. The Spain game should be interesting -- Gasol, Calderon, etc. They are pretty good. How they almost lost to China is anyone's guess, but hey. We shall see.

HM

Hypocrites All

You have your stories about John Edwards and his bringing morality back to politics (while banging a campaign vendor) and you have Al Gore's enormous carbon footprint and Teddy Kennedy's refusal to allow windmills out by the Kennedy Compound.

But the GOP? NOT THE GOP!!! Aren't they the party of The Heartland? They love REAL Americans and they want to avoid those pompous folks on the coast who have lost their way, right? Well........seems that the wealthy GOP folk don't much care for us lowlings out here on the prairie.............:

“I would definitely say that people aren’t as excited about going to Minneapolis as they were about going to New York City,” said Matthew Keelen, president of the Keelen Group, a D.C.-based lobbying firm. “Minneapolis is a nice city, but it doesn’t quite have the environment and reputation of a New York City, and I think 2004 was a unique convention and a lot of it had to do with where it was,” he said.

(note to the Matt Man -- convention is in St. Paul, not Minneapolis).

The lack of enthusiasm has been a source of frustration for venue owners close to the convention hall at the Xcel Center. Some of them were struggling until recently to meet their reservation expectations .“We certainly weren’t alone, a lot of venues hadn’t heard anything and were kind of wondering what might of happened,” said David Miller, general manager of the St. Paul Hotel.

(HM note -- I am pretty sure Dave would have said, "what might have happened" or "might've happened." He is in St. Paul, but I am pretty sure a general manager of a luxury hotel wouldn't say "might of happened."

HM

Stuart Scott Sings Edwin McCain

Not good.

I almost literally ran into Stu in Indianapolis one year. No way he is anywhere near his listed height of 6'1".

HM

Driving Miss Demaris

Morgan Freeman's "Bucket List" must have included running off the road with a woman not his wife.

I have had a case against the attorney mentioned in the Freeman article (who at the time went by W.O. Luckett). A very good attorney. So Freeman is in good hands (unlike anyone who rides in a car with Morgan, apparently).

A review of Freeman's Wikipedia entry leads one to believe that he has done his share of driving something home over the years, with a lot of women considering him "Johnny Handsome" and experiencing "The Power of One."

Barack Obama -- Clearly (At Least) Half White

R.I.P. -- Isaac Hayes

1) I narrowly lost out on my eBay bid for his chain shirt from this video.

2) Will Jesse Jackson EVER get off the stage in this video? For God's sake -- a little foreshadowing of his limelight seeking in future years...

My Father's Age, Plus a Year Or So....

I Am Left Speechless

It appears that this is a major celebrity whom I had no idea existed.

Moderately attractive.

Can we go with a broadcast team of her (news), Jillian Barberie (weather) and Erin Andrews (sports)? And if so, if they quadrupled your cable rates, would you even care?

Pickup Basketball

Pictured: Al Swearengen (shooting), K (white shirt with blue chest), PAR (tan long-sleeve look with red and white on the chest), GC Boy (red tank top), RKG (in gray shirt covered with sweat), TEG (gray shirt, black shorts), and Andy (white long-sleeve look, tiger-striped shorts). I am taking the picture.


I am off to Rockford, Illinois in the morning to watch PM tilt in another "national" (i.e. regional) basketball tournament. Last night they had 6 guys at practice:

Suburb #1 -- best two guys
Suburb #2 -- best guy
Suburb #3 -- best guy
Suburb #4 -- best guy
Suburb #5 -- PM (second best guy)

They played full court 3 on 3, first to 10, win by 2. Final score -- 29-27, PM lost. But I gotta tell you, it was an awesome game. The dads sat there and chatted about other things until it got to be 13-12. I think after that no one said anything and just watched what became a wonderful game of pickup basketball.

I was so energized by the game that I am sure that I could have donned the uniform and played a similar game thereafter. Rules: first to 4, win by 1.

Amazing how I was able to get a pic of all my regular readers.

HM

NBC -- Hoping To Increase Your Knowledge of Beach Volleyball

http://www.nbcolympics.com/beachvolleyball/photos/galleryid=122861.html

So, beach volleyball players use hand signals. So, what exactly do they mean? Um, never mind. I will just look at the photos.

ESPN Writer -- Packers Entirely To Blame in Favre Debacle

Read it here. Note to Packers' management -- ouch!

As Hitler noted in the video in my previous item, this leaves Green Bay with Aaron Rodgers (per Hitler, "our own Rex Grossman......OK, no one is that bad") as their QB. This is a team who could have easily made the Super Bowl last year and (as you saw from the Giants' upset) possibly won.

So, the Pack decided that they would trade their starting QB from a high-end playoff team for a 4th to 2nd (depending on success) round pick. So let's assume they get a #3 pick.

From 2000 to 2007, the Packers' 3rd rounders have been (not in order):
Abdul Hodge, James Jones, Aaron Rouse, Jason Spitz, Joey Thomas, Donnell Washington, B.J. Sander, Bhawoh Jue, Steve Warren, Kenny Patterson, Marques Anderson.

Now, I concede that I haven't followed the NFL as closely as I might since 2000, but I don't remember any of these guys competing for a Pro Bowl spot. I would venture a guess that a majority are not even Packers any more.

So, you trade the best QB you have for.............................a good possibility that you get nothing.......???

There are only two possible reasons for that decision:

1) You are fed up with Favre's antics and you are just giving him a big "Eff you, backpack is a bitch, isn't it redneck boy!" and/or

2) You really think Aaron Rodgers is a high level playoff QB.

You don't trade Favre because you hope a rookie beats out Rodgers for the job. Cuz if you think Brian Brohm or Matt Flynn is the best QB, then you want Favre around for a year while the best guy develops.

Can you really honestly believe #2? I mean, I guess you can. After all, the Vikings have loaded their team with new talent (Berrian, Allen) yet they somehow still believe that a guy who couldn't beat out Matt Jones to QB the Arkansas Razorbacks is a high level playoff QB. But is that the way to bet if you are either the Packers or the Vikings? Well, certainly not. But then look up the definition of the word "hubris" in the dictionary and you will see the pictures of various NFL coaches and player personnel directors.

Since Option #2 is a really stupid reason, then I have to go with Option #1. So what are you telling your fans there? "This guy is such a pain in the ass that I would rather take a real good chance of getting nothing for him instead of having him around."

The Red Sox made this decision with Manny, but at least they got a very good player in Jason Bay. And Manny literally DID NOT TRY WHILE HE WAS ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAMES!!!! Favre was not in trouble with the law, he was not caught fathering illegitimate kids or making gangsta rap songs. He just was a prima donna who needed to be loved and had trouble making up his mind.

Analogies are hard for me to come up with. But let me try:

You are a 65 year old CEO guy with a 38 year old trophy wife. She is wife #4. The other three have been terrible. This one has given you 16 good years and a wonderful child, but she is always saying, "Love me, treat me nice, give me flowers, love me. Aren't I great?"
You agree that she is great (not what she was at 27, but still great) but you are tired of having to tell her that. And some large breasted 26 year old has been hinting that she would like to be wife #5, plus there are a couple 22 year old gold diggers that your firm just hired as receptionists who have potential.
Your decision -- dump the only good wife you have ever had and go with the 26 year old as #5.

Um, OK. Explain that one to your family.

HM

The Packers' #1 Fan Reacts to the Brett Favre Saga

Filmed just before the announcement of Favre being traded to the Jets:





At least now he can watch all the "Girls Next Door" he wants, in peace....

Jenna Jameson -- Pregnant

http://sports.aol.com/fighting/story/_a/bbdp/jameson-ortiz-expecting-a-child/122571?icid=200100397x1207196396x1200368378

I would guess that labor should be very brief in this case.

HM

The Change You Deserve

See more Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay videos at Funny or Die

Paris Hilton Presidential Ad

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

The Dark Knight -- Can It Pass "Titanic"?

After this weekend, The Dark Knight will be a top 3 or top 4 all-time highest grossing box office movie, possibly trailing only Star Wars and Titanic.

Assuming that we are looking at The Dark Knight going up to $444MM at the end of this weekend, what are the chances of it getting to $601MM and dethroning Titanic?

While I think you are seeing TBK starting to slow some, it still did $43MM this weekend. Let's give it $444MM total through this Sunday. Then we will slow its growth as follows:

-- through the 17th -- $35MM more
-- through the 24th -- $30MM more
-- through the 31st -- $25MM
-- through September 2 (labor day weekend over) -- $25MM
-- thereafter -- $10MM a week for 7 weeks.

So, 479, 509, 534, 559, 569, 579, 589, 599, 609......by end of September we should have a new champion.

Titanic fans are now all pissed, saying "Well, we had cheaper ticket prices." Not sure you want to go there, because inflation adjusted numbers put Titanic at 6th -- behind Gone With the Wind and 4 others. So Titanic fans would be better served by not mentioning the issue of ticket inflation -- just try to hold on to #1 or accept a strong #2, either is better than screaming "we are #6!"

John McCain -- Senile?

I don't blame the guy for being 72; heck, he is older than my dad (whose 5 hour operation is over and who is home now).

But come on, you are supposed to be running for President. You cannot remember a question asked to you 5 seconds ago? I suggest medical treatment in the Czechoslovakia or Persia or Burma or Prussia or The Confederate States of America wherever you can get it, John.

Sad. I wonder how ex-Hindu exorcist Bobby Jindal will be as President in 2010?

HM

Lest We Forget...

When GWB took office, oil was under $30 a barrel. I can remember having conversations with my children about how I was upset that soon I would have to pay $2 a gallon for gas. That was...........................2005:

Gas prices have almost tripled since 2002.

Never Have 168 Days Seemed So Endless

http://www.bushslastday.com/

The Power of Playing Multiple Sports

My eldest daughter (Daddy's Girl Maven -- DGM) had her soccer team finish second in the state tourney last week, losing 1-0 in the final. (So, The Mavens are repeat "silver medalists" this year. 2nd in baseball, second in soccer.)

DGM is a great kid. Wonderful girl. Very bright, very funny. She is not, however, a "second in the state" level soccer athlete. So how does it come to pass that she plays 50% of the time on the highest level state championship team at her age group?

Well, here is the deal: the soccer organization decided that they wanted to have 2 teams at the "C1" level for DGM's grade. So they appointed two coaches -- a C1A coach and a C1B coach and asked them to figure out how to split up the girls. Well, the C1B coach's daughter is a high level athlete, so he got her. The C1A coach's daughter......is a nice girl. Then the C1B guy asked the other guy if he wanted to pick "5 and 5" meaning the C1A guy would get the best 5 and then the C1B guy would pick, etc.

To everyone's surprise, the C1A guy said no. He, instead, sent out an e-mail to all of the top girls' parents stating that you couldn't be on his team unless you agreed to play only soccer. So, you want to be C1A and be GOOD you play only soccer. You want to basically SUCK then you play C1B and play your cutesy other sports. Please reply to this e-mail.

Well, this was a huge error. Two top 10 girls agreed to play only soccer. All the other top 8 played basketball or hockey and were not willing to give those sports up at age 14 (if ever). So C1B had 8 of the top 10 soccer players, including the best goalie, the best striker, and the two best midfielders. Ooops. Well, this created a huge problem, so C1A got to pick the next best 8 girls, eventually leading to DGM being one of the final picks onto C1B (barely squeaking on to C1 for that matter).

Lesson -- if you are picking teams, you want the true jocks. As my dad always says, you need the horses. If you have the horses, you can teach them to pull the plow. As the season went on, the better athletes got used to playing soccer and the cream rose to the top, leaving poor C1A 5th in their league and out of the state tourney completely.

HM

My Dad Gets Operated On Today

He has had a pinched nerve in his neck radiating pain to his left arm for 3 years. He had a quack doctor in Florida operate on his neck and it did nothing for him. Some doctors in NY say that THEY can do a better job, so he has decided to undergo a 6 hour operation today (I would guess starting around noon).

This, of course, is a terrible idea. he has tried very little by way of pain management techniques, and there is the inconvenient fact that major surgery at age 71 can easily kill you. But he is my dad. He will do whatever he wants to do.

Ten Things You Need to Know About My Dad:

10. My dad grew up in a house in upstate New York that I can only describe as a "hole." I mean, wow. Maybe 1,200 square feet (probably less), uneven foundation, linoleum floors slanted harshly to one side, big tears in the linoleum. A really, really bad house.

9. My dad was the oldest of a bunch of kids. Let's see -- F, H, C, Ri, Ro, J -- so I guess only six.

8. As the oldest, he was not allowed to play high school sports because he had to help out on --------

7. The dairy farm, he grew up on a 300 acre dairy farm in upstate New York.

6. He had several dogs growing up -- all were black and white dogs, all were named by his father, all were named.....Charlie.

5. Although denied the chance to play high school sports, when my dad was 22 he and his four brothers in the summer (which I guess must have been 1959) played on a team with some other local guys and drove 100 miles to play a game against the defending state softball champions and defeated them. The story they always tell is that in that summer they were something like 27-1, losing only because their best player, my uncle Howard, picked something like 400 quarts of blueberries the morning and early afternoon of the loss and could barely stand up to play the late afternoon game.
(I was actually asked twice in my life if I was related to Howard Maven -- when I said yes, I was told by two different people that he was the best hitter they ever saw play baseball, hitting .500 in Division III baseball. My uncle Richard pitched two years of Division I baseball before blowing out his arm, and I played catch with him at age 50 and he still had an absolute cannon -- so I guess I can believe the softball stories.)

4. My father is very proud of his rural upbringing and the working class economic status of his family, yet......

3. He is a graduate of Cornell University, an Ivy League school (as he always notes, he was an Ag school grad and the Ag school is subsidized by the state -- he is not a wealthy liberal arts Cornell kid).

2. When my father decided to get an advanced degree he went to the University of Illinois, taking his pregnant wife and two kids with him. While there, Hoops Maven was born, making me an honorary Illinois citizen of some sort I guess.

1A. My father is incredibly cheap and can be very provincial. He will drive 15 miles to get cheap gasoline and he once said that "I have seen the ocean, I don't know why I would go to Hawaii." Once gained 15 pounds on a 10 day cruise because it was "all you can eat" for every meal and he wanted his money's worth. He is a life long Democrat. He has made out a document stating that if he dies in this operation he wants $50,000 to go as follows: 1/2 to the mental health facility that treats my younger brother and 1/2 to the facility where my older mentally-retarded brother lives. He once broke his ankle jumping off a tractor to help me lift a barn door back onto the track. He helped me fix that door and then walked 300 yards back to the house without help, asking me to park and turn off the tractor and then walk up behind him because he turned his ankle some. He currently watches CNN at a decibel level approaching airplane take-off levels. He has the most ridiculous array of stocks and mutual funds imaginable, but he won't change them because monitoring 40 stocks and 18 mutual funds gives him something to do. He always wanted me to bunt more as a baseball player, but other than that he is a great dad. And he wants his left arm to feel better. And I worry about him because he is old and does dumb stuff here and there.

So anyway, you religious folk, try to put in a good word for my dad today. I will try to rely upon the fact that anyone who used to "pick rock" with me for 13 hours a day somehow developed enough physical toughness to get through a multiple hour neck surgery.

1B. Oh, and he thinks worrying about stuff you can't control is really, really stupid; so he would be appalled to read this blog item.

HM

What Can I Give You?

Since I have been working hard the past week or so, I know I have left you guys who read this blog out in the cold. I know that you generally like my old stories, so I will give you one here: Title -- The Disco Fink.

In the winter of 1979-80, I was a 15 year old kid sitting in a room waiting for Social Studies class to begin. There was a young lady in the room named Krista -- she was new to the school; the sort of girl that Sir Mixalot would later approve of in verse. I was busy trying to catch a glimpse of her tan courduroy pants as she walked in behind her friends this day when a young man's life would be forever changed (and she wasn't involved, and for once, it wasn't me).

As everyone in class is about to sit down, in comes the 6' 210 pound kid who up to this point had been known only by his name. I will call him KF. He enjoyed the military, WWII, WWII aircraft, um, talking about the military, and little else. (He later would be discharged honorably from the service after failing his physical fitness requirement at the end of a 6-week boot camp). In December of 1979 or January of 1980, however, KF's parents had decided that he needed some new pants.

I am unsure what Space Age fabric these pants were made from, but they certainly contained no cotton. They were almost a neon version of Carolina blue and they appeared to be the thickness of the padding you put under carpet. Given KF's less than stellar build, they were slung low, basically across his hips. It literally hurt your eyes to look his way.

Now I had a typically uncool striped shirt of some sort on, and KF decided to be funny. Geez, Maven, do you ever wear anything other than a striped shirt. This was too much to bear -- "Come ON!!! You wear those PANTS and you have the guts to come in and rip me!" What is your beef with my pants? "Nothing Deny Terrio. They look great."

Now I would have let it go at that, but my friend (whom I will call The Big JW) could find a wounded psyche from a mile away, and he started in -- "OH MY GOD, KF!! WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE? Is that foam rubber? I mean, Saturday Night Fever all the way, buddy." And then the fateful line -- "Geez, KF, what are those? Your DISCO PANTS!?!?"

With this KF knew he was beat and tried to escape, but the beating just continued as the teacher for some reason was late to class. (JW starts imitating disco drum beat) "Disco Fink, Disco Fink, Disco Fink." Then he starts in with a song, "Who's that coming round the bend? It's a disco train and his name is ___. Who's that that gets down below my heels? Is it Disco Finky and his Boogie Wheels? Finky, stinky, rinky, blinky, dinky, twinkie, minky, binky, crinky -- you boogie-child. You get me down, you boogie me down to the ground!!" Amazingly, The Big JW had created the "Disco Train" song out of whole cloth (or foam rubber) and quickly humiliated KF. KF's response was to fight back. F you JW boy, you fag. Now just as he says this the teacher walks in and everyone is silent. You can hear KF's rip loud and clear. Everyone finds their seat and the teacher addresses KF -- "You can't say that Mr. F." But they were making fun of me, first! OK, what did they say? They said I was wearing "disco Pants" and they called me "Disco Fink." So what? Sticks and stone, Mr. F. And those really honestly ARE disco pants, so you know what your punishment is going to be? I am going to go over to the window and scratch in the words "Disco Fink" into the frost on the windows and those words are going to stay their until Spring.

So, poor KF became "The Disco Fink" or, often times, just "Disco." He literally burned his Disco Pants ("I took them off and put them in the burning barrel in the back yard that day and burned them. I stood there in my underwear watching them burn." Me -- Did they burn quickly? "No. They sort of just melted into a ball.")

But fire could not cleanse the Disco Fink nickname. The next day KF made the mistake of insulting the big JW to avenge the previous day (he had obviously thought up his insult all night and it was pretty solid -- 7 out of 10). This led JW to run over to the classroom lights before Science class and flicker the lights on and off in a strobe effect while singing "Disco Train" in a high-pitched Bee Gees voice. In what could only be described as a bizarre turn of events, the Science teacher came in, JW ran to his seat and briefly continues the rapid disco drum beat of "shicka-ticka, shicka-ticka, shicka-ticka" toward KF's direction (they sat across from one another). The teacher was angry at this and took out the class fire extinguisher and fired it at the legs of both JW AND KF "to cool you down from your love of disco so we can have class."

After class I tried to express my interest in a tall thin girl whom an idiot friend had told I liked her -- she just suddenly walked up to my desk and announced that she was dating about the dumbest guy in the whole school and would continue to do so if her choices were him or me. As I walked out more than a tad embarrassed, I saw the shortest guy in class giving KF the whole JW treatment: disco beat, attempt to sing the song, resorting to only chanting "Disco Fink, Disco Fink-y, YEAH!!."

Now this situation favored KF. The guy was 14 inches and 130 pounds smaller. KF picked him up by his collar and slammed him into the lockers. Just then a large teacher turned the corner, saw the scene, grabbed KF and tossed HIM into the lockers saying, "You think it is fun to pick on small folks, K? Isn't so much fun NOW is it!?!?"

For the next three school years, KF was known to most people simply as Disco Fink or Disco. His later efforts to overcome the name proved as ill-fated as the early ones:

1) He wore a shirt saying "Disco Sucks. I sold my soul for Rock and Roll!!!" He was sent to the principal's office for having the word "sucks" on his shirt. Had to wear the white undershirt as his primary shirt all day, giving him sort of a 1950s greaser look.

2) Carried around rock music everywhere he went and brought rock magazines to school.

3) Attempted to call me "Disco Maven-y" and JW "Disco J." While this concerned me a great deal for the first two hours, it never caught on.

4) Enlisted the help of three popular good-looking girls to get his name cleared. Very moderate success, as they really were unwilling to date or talk to any guys who agreed to drop the name, so there was really no benefit to doing what they asked. Good idea, but poorly executed.

5) As a senior we were waiting for school to start and a little guy in our group called KF "Disco" in a demeaning tone. KF took out a ruler and declared that his new policy for senior year was that anyone calling him such a name would be smacked with a ruler. He hit the little guy pretty hard across the arm. This tactic concerned me -- it was not worth physical pain to maintain the name. But the biggest guy in our group (6'5", 275 pounds) who never called him "Disco" before then began calling him Disco just on principle, stating that he thought the ruler rule was a bullying tactic that hurt his smaller friends and he would not allow it to succeed.

So what ever happened? My info is KF got a job, married a girl who already had a couple kids and was doing OK as of 20 years ago. I hear he told everyone he met that "everyone calls me Moose" (a nickname he apparently adopted when the woman's kids first saw him and called him Moose -- ergo, the two kids under 6 were "everyone").

But anyway, I don't think I have ever blogged the story of The Disco Fink. So there you go.

(And for those of you who were very concerned for me -- I went on to get my first good kiss
from my sister's friend during basketball season in early 1980, so I know you folks were worried, but don't be, I eventually overcame my multiple failures.....though I never did date either of the two girls mentioned in the story...and they basically continued their stated position that I was unworthy of their attention throughout high school.)

HM

Franciso Liriano Returns - Twins Kicking White Sox Ass, Way Ahead In the AL Central

I watched Francisco Liriano pitch on TV on Sunday. He is far from his 2006 self, but to say that he is an improvement on Livan Hernandez is like saying that I would rather date Shania Twain instead of Joan Rivers. True statement, but it hardly conveys the feeling adequately.

Liriano is 6'5" and left handed. With that profile, if you clear 85 on the radar gun you are going to be a MLB starter. He is now throwing 89 to 92 with a 81 mile an hour slider. Not exactly 2006 when he was throwing 95 to 98 with a 90 mile an hour slider, but more than enough still to get out decent major league hitters.

The White Sox are done and may as well forfeit the remainder of their games. The Twins' lead is insurmountable.

Side note -- A.J. Pierzinski's current hair makes Ric Flair's hair circa 1978 look as natural as a young child's.

HM

Another Skip Caray-Related Story

In the spring and summer of 1985, I worked in the New York State Assembly as an intern. My friend Tim lived in Albany, so on July 4, 1985, I convinced him to come downtown for a fireworks display and then out to the bar for a few drinks. He brought his girlfriend and future wife. I, being between opportunities, was flying solo.

Now I lived in my Assemblyman's apartment since he lived elsewhere. The fireworks started at about 10, so we met downtown and watched a great fireworks show and then headed out to a bar (may have been the Washington Tavern) to see a very mediocre entertainer named Ed S. (I do remember his last name, but for defamation purposes will not reveal it). He performed by himself with his acoustic guitar and a backing synthesizer, calling himself "The Ed S(full name here) show." He had great song selection, but poor execution. In short, he wasn't bad to go see if you had a lot to drink and sang along.

So we go out and we close down the bar. We actually helped Ed put his gear away in his van at the end of the night. It was 2AM+ when I left the bar, so it was darn close to 3 when I got home. So, I plopped down in my chair, head spinning, and turned on my first-ever cable-box equipped TV. The frigging Braves game is still on!?!?!? How is this possible? Well, it is the bottom of the 18th and the Braves are down one, two outs. They have no position players left, so they are forced to allow .070 career hitting pitcher Rick Camp to hit for himself. I am thinking, game over. Camp takes a wicked cut and hits one out. Game continues. Unbelievable. Now, I would like to tell you that I watched what little remained of the game. But I was awful drunk, and I fell asleep. I later learned that Camp had a chance at further stardom in the 19th, but his bat cooled off and he struck out to end the game.


In an odd twist of fate, Camp (see above link) was later sentenced to prison, as was entertainer Ed S., who it seems later pilfered around $1,000 of electronics from a music store to upgrade his act, only to run afoul of the hypersensitive local law enforcement community.

In 1985, Ed S. did a somewhat serviceable version of a Dave Mason song. The song's title describes how Ed and the music store's owner felt about the need for Ed to pay for the items at issue -- We Just Disagree.






HM


What others were doing earlier that day:

Skip Caray -- RIP

When I was in Law School 2nd year, I used to spend a lot of time either playing ball or watching sports with my friend Mike.

For example: One Saturday (a day I will always remember) I showed up at Mike's apartment early in the day (maybe 10AM) to watch wrestling (may have been the UWF) and stayed at his apartment watching a combo of wrestling, wrestling, baseball, college football, baseball, wrestling and wrestling, leaving the living room only to go to McDonald's -- returning back to my apartment around midnight. In light of the fact that the day featured Mike offering up food options such as fried balogna, cinnamon rolls (2 days old), sour cream and onion chips, some sort of fried snack (may have been Funions or Pork Rinds), home made french fries (from the deep (Jeff) Fryer) and various ice cream desserts, the McDonald's run may have been the low-calorie alternative that day.

I decided that day that Mike and I should be roommates for our 3rd year.

While we tried to somewhat cut back on 14 hour viewing parties, we often would spend 2-6 hours together watching Atlanta Braves baseball. I simply could not stand the nasally voice of Harry Caray, Jr. (aka "Skip" Caray). But as the games rolled by in the fall of 1988, I have to tell you, I grew to enjoy Skip's extremely sarcastic brand of humor, as detailed here. By the day I graduated in the spring of 1989, I had a much higher opinion of Skip.

So, farewell Skip. RIP.

HM