Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Bill Simmons On Meeting Isiah Thomas

You want to talk about irony? How about Simmons and Isiah agreeing that NBA players are now too nicey-nicey with one the same time they are meeting in a swank Vegas pool to be all nicey-nicey with each other?

Simmons, as he admits, has just killed Isiah in print and he has absolutely no respect for Isiah, yet when he meets Isiah he sucks up to him and nods along at Isiah's ridiculous statements (he didn't kill the CBA? Um, before Isiah owned it, it existed; after he owned it, it was bankrupt).

This is why I have such a hard time being around people I hate. It is very difficult for me to even be civil to them. If you truly do not like someone, there is a reason. Why should you have to pretend that you get along?

Anyway -- good reading.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Baby Boomer Death Counter

Um, Yikes! In Canada, they start counting at 1966 (not 1964), so I am going to claim that my recent trip to Toronto makes me a Canadian.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Rumeal Robinson -- Homeless

Of course, the best part of the story is Rumeal's spending $20,000 a night on strippers. Rumeal -- if you are spending $20,000 a night, it better be on HOOKERS!!! He would invite them home to clean his house? Shouldn't that be thrown in with the $20,000 lap dance bill.

Learn your negotiation skills, fellas. Learn your negotiation skills.


Thursday, October 08, 2009

Miguel Cabrera -- Playing Drunk

If Cabrera was 0.26 BAC and he started playing 11.5 hours later, and he processes alcohol at .015 per hour.

.015 times 11.5 = .165

0.26 minus .165 = .095 -- over the legal limit in most states.

The good thing, I guess, is he would not be hung over....since he would still be drunk. And by like the 5th inning he might be under the legal limit!

The Tigers decision to allow him to play after the Tigers' GM personally had to drive him home from the police station is a giant black mark on the Tigers organization. Can you imagine ANY situation where a guy shows up drunk, the GM knows he is drunk and probably hit his wife, and everyone in the entire nation will know that he was drunk (there was a police report) and YOU PLAY HIM ANYWAY!!!!????!!!

And that doesn't even scratch the surface. The guy is like 6'4" and 250 pounds and he is getting into a physical confrontation with his wife??? The GM's reply -- "Well, we have player treatment programs for this...." Great, uh huh. Just come out and say it Dave, "We needed the win. I had every incentive to look the other way, and I did."

Tigers' New Motto -- "Drunk? Wife Beater? Who Cares. Just Win Baby!!!"

TBS Baseball Coverage -- Awful

Chip Carey in Twins v. Tigers: "There is a single to left, caught, the throw home....he is out, double play." I was at the game, so I have that one second hand.

Here are my complaints from last night:

1) Chip early in the game: "There is a single to left [ball is caught easily]......or I should say, caught by Delmon Young."

Chip -- any ball lined to the outfield is not automatically a hit. Teams have three outfielders out there trying to catch the ball.

2) The stupid pitch box. They are charting Francisco Liriano's pitches. #1 -- 2 feet outside; #2 -- a foot high; #3 low and inside; #4 -- a foot high. Thanks for the graphics taking up 20% of my screen. If I wanted to watch something that reminded me of Halo or Call of Duty, I would go sit with PM for 3 hours.

3) Ron Darling -- He seems to vary between a) "nearly comatose," b) "VERY understated" and c) "excited for no reason."

His general state is "a" -- I know you are Hawaiian, Ron, but my goodness, cut back on whatever you are smoking to relax yourself pre-game.

Mauer commits two base-running errors and barely scores -- Ron: "you see there when the catcher took his eye off Mauer, he went home." You are missing the entire point of the play, Ron, plus Mauer actually STOPPED after Posado looked away from him the first time.

Example of "b" -- Joe Mauer doubles -- "That is Joe Mauer. One of the better hitters in the league." One of the better hitters? 3 time batting champ? Led the league in average, OBS, slugging %, and OPS. When Ron was at his wedding, did he tell his wife, "You look as good or better than most brides"?

Ron as a CNN commentator -- "The United States -- one of the better militaries in the world."

Example of "c" -- Denard Span hits a hard one-hopper to A-Rod to start a double play. Ron goes on and on and on about how great A-Rod is for knowing exactly where to play Denard Span.
He must have spent 3 minutes praising A-Rod's awesome positioning.

Um, Ron, it was a bunting situation. He was in and near the line. Even IF it was his idea, it wasn't exactly a brilliant play.
Second, I would imagine that the Yankees don't just tell their fielders, "Go stand wherever you think he might hit the ball." I would suspect that the bench coach and manager know exactly where guys should be played and they tell A-Rod to stand in the appropriate spot.

Ron was extremely disappointed when Michael Cuddyer singled softly to right off Sabathia -- "That was unlucky for Sabathia." I have seen that ball hit 200 times in playoff baseball and the announcers 98% of the time will say, "Good piece of hitting there." Ron -- can't get over how unlucky C.C. was.

But when Span spanks a ball very hard right at A-Rod, is Span "unlucky" or C.C. "lucky" -- nope, that just goes to show how brilliant A-Rod is.

I turned the sound off in about the 5th inning.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

This Almost Happened......

If that fact doesn't scare the shit out of you as an American citizen, I don't know what will. They should have given the main character much larger breasts and a worse (more accurate) voice.

Tribute to The Last Few Days As a Minnesota Sports Fan

Look at the pictures, listen to the music video (or look at Tina Turner in 1990).

Monday, October 05, 2009

My Favorite Office Quotes from "The Deposition"

Just saw it again a couple weeks ago. Great episode in which Michael is trying (and not succeeding) to help his girlfriend Jan's case by giving a deposition:

Jan's lawyer: How long have you known the plantiff?
Michael Scott: I haven't actually seen it. But I have seen The Firm and I am planning on renting The Pelican Brief.

Jan's lawyer: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael Scott: Six years and two months.
Jan's lawyer: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Jan's lawyer: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: [slowly] That's what she said.

Jan's lawyer: Now Mr. Scott, what did you say Ms. Levinson said, regarding your employment status, with respect to her corporate position?

Jan: If I may, he was just telling a joke before, so can we move on to a different question?
Jan's lawyer: Are you sure?
Jan: Uh, yes.
Jan's lawyer: Can you go back to where this digression began?
Court reporter: [reading] Mr. Schneider. And you were directly under her the entire time? Mr. Scott. That's what she said.
Michael Scott: Well. Delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.

Jan's lawyer: [reading from Michael's journal] I quote from an entry dated January four of this past year. 'Just got back from Jamaica. Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee. Oh diary, what a week. I had sex with my boss. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere, that it was a one-time mistake. But we had sex six times so you tell me.

Michael Scott (to Jan's lawyer): Hey, Schneider, real quick. What do you call a buttload of lawyers driving off a cliff.
Jan's lawyer: A good start. And I think it's busload.
Michael Scott: Yeah. A bunch of rich lawyers took the bus. [to Jan] Where'd you find this guy?

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Temptations -- I Wish It Would Rain

Although the song is about wishing it WOULD rain (sunshine, blue skies, please go away), I have always enjoyed it more on rainy days like today:

Raindrops will hide my teardrops......