Thursday, June 30, 2011

Rank Your Favorite Wimbledon Female Tennis Players

I had two 9s, an 8, around five 7s, a 6, then a bunch of "lower than six"es.

Why I Won't Be Able to Go to the State Zoo Or the State-Regulated Racetrack This Weekend

Watch the video -- it is quite good.

Lessons From the 1998-99 NBA Lockout -- It Doesn't End Well for the Players

1) If there are 30 NBA clubs and 15 guys on a club, we have 450 NBA players. Of those 450 guys, the general public today gives a flying F about maybe 4 -- LeBron, Wade, Kobe, and Dirk. Only true basketball fans care about even great players like Durant, Melo, Chris Paul and Dwight Howard.

4 guys. Out of 450.

Everyone during the NBA Finals was talking about how much they loved the (white) Dirk Nowitzki instead of the (black) LeBron James. Prior to the NBA Finals, I would estimate that 95% of the United States public could not pick Dirk Nowitzki out of a random group of European concert goers, so long as in the pictures shown did not reveal Dirk's height.

Dirk has been a top 12 player in the league for 10 years. Prior to his stint as The Guy Who Might Beat LeBron, 95% of Americans had did not know or care who he was.

So, NBA players, recognize that fact. This is not NFL football and 99.9% of you don't have the cache of NFL players. Sorry. You will generally not be missed.

2) Now, how "fungible" are NBA players even from an on-the-court perspective? 452 guys played at least a minute in an NBA game last year.

"Young Star" minutes are 36+ minutes a game -- 26 guys

Very Good Starter/Old Star Minutes are 30+ a game -- 76 more guys (102 total)

Solid Starter Minutes are 24+ a game -- 75 more guys (177 total)

That means that of the 452 guys who played in the league last year, there are 452 - 177 = 275 "fungible" players. If tomorrow they left the league you would not really miss them and you could easily replace them through draft/free agency/etc. in 4 or 5 years.

How about Efficiency -- what sort of production are you getting that you could not get from someone else? Answer -- well, not much.....

The #201 player in the league last year in Efficiency had an Efficiency number of just under 9. So, 252 players in the league had a production of an Efficiency number under 9. That is not very good. Are you clamoring for your local club to get Jarrett Jack? Randy Foye? Someone who plays as well as Evan Turner played last year? Probably not, right -- but there are around 250 guys who produced LESS for their clubs last year than those guys!

My point? Well, the point is that there are a ton of guys who are current NBA players, who absolutely are damned lucky to be NBA players, who cannot make money anywhere else to the extent they can in the league, and who the owners really can piss off at their own whim and suffer no repurcussions.

If you are Jarrett Jack and Randy Foye and Austin Daye and Patrick Patterson and Gary Neal, you should know that you need the league a lot more than the league needs you. Once that realization comes about, and once you start missing paychecks so that LeBron and Wade and Bosh do not have to take pay cuts in the future, you start getting a little pissed, and you start asking WTF is my union doing to help ME!?!?

How do I know? Well, history teaches me:

On December 23, [1998] [Commissioner] Stern announced that he would recommend canceling the season if there was no deal by January 7, 1999.

As Stern's deadline approached, the NBPA showed signs of division from within.

Highly paid players were seen as the ones most affected by the disputed issues, rather than the union's membership as a whole. Agent David Falk, who was considered an influential voice for the players, represented NBPA president Patrick Ewing and nine players on the union's 19-person negotiating committee.

The NBPA scheduled a meeting in New York City on January 6, where players would vote on a proposal by the owners that the committee had recommended opposing. Several players, including Shaquille O'Neal and Hakeem Olajuwon, wanted the vote to be conducted by secret ballot, while others indicated a desire to return to competition regardless of how the vote went. Kevin Johnson stated that most players "were just ready to throw down [fight] Wednesday at our meeting if an agreement hadn't been reached."

Faced with a splintering union, Hunter moved to resume talks with Stern. On January 6, the day before Stern's deadline, he and Hunter reached an agreement, which was ratified by the NBPA later that day and by the NBA Board of Governors on January 7.

Widely viewed as a victory for Stern and the owners, the agreement was signed by both parties on January 20, officially ending the lockout after 204 days.

It capped players' salaries at between $9 million and $14 million, depending on how long they had played in the NBA. A rookie pay scale was introduced, with salary increases tied to how early a player was selected in the NBA Draft. The Larry Bird exception was retained, though maximum annual pay raises were capped. New "average" and "median" salary cap exemptions, which the NBPA had proposed, allowed teams to sign one player per category even if they were over the spending limit.

The league's minimum salary was increased to $287,500, a $15,000 raise from before the lockout.

If we know anything from the troubles of Antoine Walker and Randy Brown and Jason Caffey and LaTrell Sprewell and numerous other NBA players forced to file for bankruptcy protection, it is that once the money hose is shut off, many players simply have no way of making ends meet. One survey suggested that as many as 60% of players have no money 5 years after leaving the NBA. Derrick Coleman and Antoine Walker made a total of $200MM playing ball -- both basically penniless now.

The owners hold all of the cards, and they certainly know that. The best negotiating pitch for the players is this -- "Look, LeBron just gave you the best ever year for TV ratings since Jordan was in the finals. Why f that up by being too greedy and pissing off fans? Just give us a reasonable proposal and we will sign."

Is this great negotiating skill? No. Is it all you have when the deck is stacked so badly against your side and things will just get worse? Yes.

Krystyn Caddell Video -- The Gal the "To Catch a Predator" Guy Is allegedly Cheating on his wife with.......

Maybe he was trying to use her to get a chance to cheat with the hotter and more coordinated friend?

A Computer-Suggested "Facebook" Friend

God bless you, Mark Z. Keep those suggestions coming!

Comic Book Nerds and Gun Kooks Celebrate Video Game Ruling!

Supreme Court Slaughter


The best line is "a rock falling on a coyote is the same as shooting up Columbine and Virginia Tech for a high score."

Baseball -- Cruel Game

My son, PM, has always hit .400 or better in every league he has ever played in.......until this summer. He has played probably half of his team's 16 games, averaging 2 at bats per game, so probably 16 at bats. He has a homer, a bunt hit and an infield single. 3 for 16 -- .188.

So last night he pinch hits with second and third, two outs -- hard line drive single up the middle, two RBI. Now around 4 for 17 -- .235. He told his mother (I was absent) after the game -- "I was so happy, I almost cried right there on the field."

It can be a tough, tough game. But the good thing is, if you could happen to get 2 straight hits, you are now hitting over .300, so I am crossing my fingers.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

6th Circuit Panel upholds ObamaCare

If you read the last two opinions, they will basically give you the argument from both sides.

I think that the opinion saying that the law is not FACIALLY defective is 100% correct. if a guy already has insurance, and you tell him he has to keep having insurance, that is almost certainly not constitutionally defective. I also agree with the statement that people in states with health care mandates obviously do not have a right to say that while they are already compelled to have insurance that the federal government cannot compel more.

I find it interesting that Idaho passed a law saying, "the people of Idaho may not be required to buy health insurance...." Perhaps someone should have read them Article VI of the Constitution (although their actions did convince one appeals court judge that the states prohibition on federal power was, therefore, correct).

Ultimately, here is what will happen -- the matter will go to the Supreme Court and Roberts, Alito, Thomas and Scalia will all vote to strike down the law. Kagen, Sotamayor, Ginsburg and Breyer will all vote to uphold it, and it will be all left up to poor Justice Kennedy.

He will, in effect, have to pick between the three opinions offered up by the 6th Circuit.

We shall see.

Bethune-Cookman Head Coach Out Due to Being Uncooperative With Police

The Daytona-Beach News Journal. has more:

The [Chief of Police Mike Chitwood] said Clifford Reed was rude to his detectives and would not allow them to enter the men's basketball locker room to swab a black leather couch for DNA. [...] "He met them (the detectives) outside the locker room, he was sitting on the steps," Chitwood said regarding Clifford Reed. "He was very rude to them and said, 'You're not coming inside.' "

The woman alleged that she had been raped in the back of Reed's car after drinking too much and awoke on the couch of the boys basketball locker room.

Well, at least he did not leave her in the car.....allegedly....

Anna Faris Decides to Give Up On Being Hot

Elizabeth Hasselback Running Away With My Current Poll

I guess guys just really are excited about sitting around and listening to their woman read stuff she pulled off the Internet. Currently around 50% of the total vote in a 5-way race!!!

Herman Cain -- A Man With No Answers

Here is my question for Mr. Cain that perhaps he could answer:

"65% or more of likely GOP primary voters would never, ever, vote for a black man for President. Among caucus goers that is more like 80%. In the South that number is more like 95%. In light of those facts, what is your strategy for getting the GOP nomination?"

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Jon Stewart Regarding Fox News

1) If you run a news story that does not favor Republicans -- liberal bias.

2) If you run a story that does favor Republicans -- needed to eliminate liberal bias.

3) If you criticize #2 -- liberal bias, thus creating the need for more of #2.

It really is a brilliant game.

My mother is among the poor folk who have long been convinced that the Democrats are trying to take everything away from her. Not "her type of people" -- her. That is the most powerful message that the wealthy Republicans convey to people who make and have almost no money -- "Don't let the Democrats take stuff away from YOU. They hate YOU."

Now, the problem with the GOP is that they have now gone SO far to the crazy side that they lose my mother because she always taught her kids to work hard, do well in (public) school and make something of themselves. The tea party agenda is to simply get a bunch of idiots to sit around with misspelled "Whitch Doctor" signs and try to elect folks like 5-schools-in-5-years Sarah Palin. At that point, you start to lose people, even those who have been taught for 75 years that they are being personally targeted and their lives would be way better if it weren't for the fact that Jimmy Carter hates them.

Monday, June 27, 2011

World's Best Golfer -- Not Rory

World's Best Golfer -- Not Rory

Kim Jung-Il Would Kick HIS ASS!!!

Blago Convicted Could Face Like 4,800,000 Years

Barring a won on appeal (unlikely) the point is -- he is going to the slam for the rest of his life.

I guess his initial victory dance over getting a hung jury on most counts was a tad premature....

Antonin Scalia -- "Sell All of the Violent Video Games You Want!"

Consistent with his belief that a 3 year old should be able to purchase an Uzi and blast away, Scalia (and 6 other judges) ruled today that California (and therefore every other state in the nation) may NOT require an adult to buy certain violent video games.

Scalia compares games in which you can rape Native American women and engage in ethnic cleansing to children's fairy tales where evil people get killed.

The two dissents -- Breyer and Thomas -- an Odd Couple pairing if ever there was one.

Alito and Roberts concur, stating basically that maybe some day we can ban sale of video games to minors if they become so bad we cannot take it (like if they started saying Obama was a nice guy or whatever).

This is a HUGE day for video game stores. HUGE!!! I am confused, however, at why this does not mean kids can buy Playboys.

Supreme Court to Decide Next Term Whether You Will See More Boobs on TV

Look, that is what is at stake here -- will we see two people doing it under the sheets with some nudity, or we see ABC/Disney showing us some red hot nudity? Imagine the opportunities opening up here for sexy but dumb actresses and body doubles.

If they do OK the whole "fuck" and "nudity" issues, I just wish they would go back to "Family Hour" where you cannot show it between 7 and 8. It would be nice to have SOME chance to see family-friendly broadcasting outside of Nick and Disney during that time.

If Iowa GOP Polls Are Correct -- The U.S. Is In a Lot of Trouble

2nd choice for President of the United States -- Michele Bachmann
3rd Choice -- Herman Cain


Then we move on -- a candidate who would support civil unions for gay people: 58% would not vote for (do they realize that Michele Bachmann says it is a state decision and conservative (fatty) icon Chris Christie says he fully SUPPORTS civil unions!?!?!? Do they realize Mitt Romney's primary religion (i.e. his religion last I knew it, unless he has changed) has a history of supporting polygamy!?!?

Cutting the defense budget to reduce the deficit -- no can do.
Cutting Medicare to reduce the deficit -- no problem with that.
Return to the gold standard? -- Hell yes!!

So..........are you a social conservative or fiscal conservative??? Oh fiscal! Then you want to......................return to the gold standard?!?!? Anything else? Elimination of electronic credit card payments perhaps -- we just hand out store credit slips?

Oh my effing God. These are the people who are one good "true believer" candidate away winning the White House.

Wolves Draft 26 Year Old Player -- Pick Invalidated


Wolves Unable to Woo Coach K

My efforts to get the 3 hottest girls on Maxim's Hot 100 to engage in a 4 way with me was also, surprisingly, rejected.

At least David Kahn was not hit with a restraining order........sigh

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Jan Vesely girlfriend - Eva Viteckova

Star of the Czech women's basketball team. Listed at 6 foot 3

Prediction -- Raptors Get Involved in a Trade

It seems everyone is really pumped up about three guys -- Jan Vesely, Bismarck Biyombo and Tristan Thompson. Now the Bobcats have gone up to #7 to leapfrog Detroit (who wanted Biyombo), so someone who really wants Biyombo or Thompson or Veseley is gonna have to go up to #5.

So look for the Raptors at #5 to make a deal to move down -- they want Brandon Knight, apparently, but no one else really does.

Sac Kings Trade With Bucks and Bobcats

Chad Ford: Corrected deal: Bucks get Beno, Stephen Jackson, Shaun Livingston & 19. Bobcats get pick 7 & Maggette. Kings get 10 & John Salmons. Twitter

Bucks get 2 good players and a pick that will be worthless.

Bobcats move up to #7 (they should cut Maggette, he is a cancer) and pick someone -- maybe Biyombo? Veseley? I doubt they are skyrocketing up to pick Kawhi Leonard.

Kings only drop 3 spots and get an OK player in John Salmons, so the Kings maybe get the same guy they would have at #7 and get Salmons for nothing.

Teams Pissed That Timberwolves Won't Just Give Away #2 Pick!/WojYahooNBA

I imagine it must be really frustrating. Girl in a bar is about a 5/5/8 on the HM facebook scale and in the past 5 years all 28 of your friends have banged her after buying her just one drink. You see she has lost 15 pounds and has a nice outfit on. You walk up to her and she says, "I want three nice dates and a fancy dinner..."

You are like, "WTF!?!?! Aren't you just supposed to be giving it away like mad?"

So you move on to a worse looking girl and try again????

Kings Move #7 pick

Word on Twitter is that the Kings have moved the #7 pick in the draft already -- not sure to whom and not sure as to for what, but it is always a good night when draft trades are made.

22 Sickest Point Guard Games; Plus All of the 15-15-15 Games on Record

You need to go 19-19-7 or better to qualify -- some awesome names here (Jamal Tinsley, Sherman Douglas, Negele Knight).

15-15-15: only three guys, Bird, Magic and Kidd.

Hell, I will toss in a bonus feature -- 40-10-10 games.

Bird, LeBron, MJ, sure........but.......Michael Adams? Wow. 40-10-10 with blocks instead of assists, Only David Robinson:

The Kurt Rambis Firing -- A Timberwolves Season Ticket Holder Perspective

I can't work. I can't sit still. I am positively giddy. I feel as if there is actually hope in the world, that a great black cloud has lifted and there is some shred of hope of watching decent basketball at Target Center this year.

Bernie Bickerstaff? OK, he is 1,000. But is it possible or even likely that he can recognize the need to play defense and the need to adjust his offense and defense to his personnel? Yes, it is possible. Was it possible with Rambis? No. So we have gone from hopeless to, say, a 20% chance of OK coaching. In most organizations, that is still pathetic, but as a guy who has watched complete incompetence for 2 years, it is a bright sunny day.

Analogy -- imagine you lived on the street for 2 years and ate out of the trash and drank water from the gutter when it rained. Then one day someone told you they were building a new homeless shelter nearby where you could sleep inside and get 1 free meal a day. Are things awesome for you? Objectively -- no. Subjectively -- God yes.

Kevin Durant -- Nothing to Do For Fun in OKC....

After all, why lie?

Why Are There All of These Kurt Rambis Defenders??

if you look on Twitter, you will find dozens of idiots saying, "Why fire Rambis, it isn't his fault?!?!?"

The guy went 32 and 132. That is 100 games below .500 in 2 seasons as a coach. He won only 1 out of 5 games he coached.................almost.

His teams played terrible defense.
His teams NEVER played hard for him.
He NEVER made any adjustments to the lineup to punish people for playing poorly or reward people for playing hard.

He NEVER made any adjustments to take advantage of mismatches.
He NEVER ran plays to take advantage of his players' strengths or hide their weaknesses.

The report I get is that he speaks so quietly that his players had to huddle closely around him during practice to hear anything he said -- when you are a young team, should you have a coach that you cannot hear?

If you are going 32 and 132, don't you lose your mind every once in a while and pick up some technicals? Nope.

Same premise -- don't you shake up the lineup just out of desperation? Nope.

When your #1 player is lying hurt on the floor and you have the ball, don't you get a time out? Nope.

When Andrew Bynum tries to kill your second best player, do you defend your player and go after Bynum or do you defend the Lakers? Well, of course, you defend the Lakers.

Rambis coached the 1999 Lakers for their final 37 games. He had Kobe and Shaq. He went 24 and 13 and the Lakers were swept in 4 games by San Antonio.

Exit Rambis, enter Phil Jackson -- 3 straight NBA titles.

He sucks as a coach. He deserves to be fired.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

New Mock Draft -- Wolves Back to Derrick Williams

So if you had the 12th pick in the draft today, would you pick a young Eddie House?!?!?

I like drafts like this that have NBA comparisons.

Chad Ford -- Wolves May Take Enes Kanter

If you look at Kanter's 6'9 3/4" height and 260 pounds and 7'1" wing span, you will not find many good positive comparisons. The best is Chris Kaman, but he is 6'11 1/4" in bare feet.

So, Wolves fans -- welcome to a shorter Chris Kaman. A man similar in size and wing span to..........Cherokee Parks.

Oh, Fox News.............

Sam Amick -- Mock Draft With Tristan Thompson #4

Here is a funny deal -- Thompson, great high school player, goes to Texas, not very good, tries out well.

So what do NBA folks say? "Well, he tries out well....." I guess so long as you don't have to play him in a game, he will be worth that #4 pick.

Valanciunas's non-buyout for 2011-12 has him plummeting. I would not mind if the Wolves moved up and picked him.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Twitter Reporting Nikola Pekovic Is Signing In Turkey

Does he hate Rubio that much?

TheHoopsMarket The Hoops Market
According to Turkish media "Vatan", Galatasaray and Nikola Pekovic (Minnesota Timberwolves) have agreed to a two-year contract
2 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Wolves Want Andrew Bynum

sam_amick Sam Amick
As Minnesota continues search for high-level player in exchange for No. 2 pick, source says T-Wolves made offer for Lakers C Andrew Bynum.

LeBron James' Terrible 2011 Playoff Stats

Similar efforts by other horrible NBA players:

Time for Miami to deal LeBron for Jonny Flynn......I will even toss in our #2 pick.

Ricky Rubio Timberwolves Workout Video -- Or Is It Singer Eric Turner?

NBA Mock Draft

If Burks slips to the Wolves, the locals would have to be happy.

Dilbert Guy -- Pro-Rape

I actually was gonna quote the guy directly, but his comments are so depressing that I just cannot.

If he is wrong, then he is just an idiot. And if he is right -- being a man really sucks. win situation.

Wolves #2 Rumors

Roy Hibbert and the #15 -- no thank you.

Jonny Flynn for Andre Iguodala? Um, OK, why not Jonny Flynn for LeBron?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Gasol for Kevin Love AND the #2???

Um, maybe straight up -- why would we throw in the #2? Because of Pau's heroic playoff efforts?

Good News For Enes Kanter

Chad Ford reporting that Jonas Valanciunas's Euro club won't let him play in U.S. next year.

YIKES!!!!!!!!!! I guess this draft really WILL blow.

If I am picking 7 or lower, I still pick Jonas.

#1 -- It Will Be Kyrie Irving

I think they should really trade up to 2 and get Derrick Williams also, but sadly they have nothing to give -- their entire roster completely blows.


Supreme Court -- States Cannot Sue Over Clean Air Problems

Talk about shooting fish in a barrel -- why can't i get cases to defend like this one!?!?

Hey conservative 5 judges -- look at the left-wing commie states that are suing our beloved government? Do we want to allow this?

Hey 4 liberal judges -- would it be OK if Georgia and Texas did things like this?

result -- 8 to 0 ass kicking.

More Miss USA

The New Miss USA -- Alyssa Campanella

Former Miss Teen New Jersey.

Really a blonde, dies her hair red.

Let's be blunt -- she is a girl who goes around chasing pageant titles, but she won Miss USA, so I guess her strategy has worked.

Clarence Clemmons -- RIP

Greatest concert I ever saw -- Born in the USA Tour.

As of 1988, I had every Springsteen album. Sadly, I saw the super wussy Tunnel of Love tour and stopped buying "softer Bruce" going forward. But word is that the boys still put on a great show. I don't know how you continue on with Bruce but not Clarence. It just does not seem right.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Twins No Longer Worst In American League

Had to get that in quickly while we lead KC.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Rory McIlroy's 11 Under Par Through 36 Will Create a Lot of Cut Players

Per this source:

the cut line for the U.S. Open is top 60 and ties, plus players within 10 shots of the lead.

Unless things change drastically and soon, 10 shots from the lead will be a top 10 score of minus 1. (of the players who are done playing today, Phil Mickelson is 12 shots off the lead -- he is 14th best of players in the clubhouse).

Therefore, it will be top 60 and ties. The cut line currently is +3, where 20 guys are tied for 48th. If the cut is +3, I would project that by the end of the day there will be only 60 or 61 guys at that figure. Makes for some quicker play over the weekend at least!

Life Is Hard for a Pimp

Isn't the primary defense here going to be, "I was just kidding. I had no idea she would take me seriously...."??? Right? If you are a girl and this is a friend of yours and he says, "Go down to the north side, blow a few guys, charge $50 a shot and then give me $40" and you have never done this for him ever before, do you say, "Well, OK"? Then you lose your nerve the cops?

So many missing pieces.

NBA Notes

Jonas Valanciunas -- getting a lot of love in ESPN stories. I like the kid, he plays hard and has the same sort of raw energy and will I saw from a young Garnett.

Dwane Casey -- looks like he will be the Raptors' new coach. Thus sticking the Wolves with............Rambis?!?!?

Every single person on ESPN asked to name the #1 pick -- Kyrie Irving.

While one guy noted that Derrick Williams will be a great player, having a guy with no solid position is a bad thing, so he needs to be a 95%+ player, while a true point guard like Irving can be a somewhat lesser player, but clearly fills a huge hole every team needs filled.

Ricky Rubio -- Quitter/Joiner

He is coming. So, now if the Wolves fire Rambis today they can make this a perfect day for me.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Ricky Rubio Similarity Scores Per Kevin Pelton's Analysis

At ESPN Insider, they predict Rubio in 30 minutes a game will go:

8.9 points, 4.6 rebounds, 7.3 assists, 1.8 steals.

Similar players:

6 Jason Kidds, 3 Nate McMillans and assorted scattered others. I would be ecstatic with that.

Weiner -- Quitter

Said his dick (which talks to and for Weiner), "Does this mean more or less exposure for me on the Web?"

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Um, Janice Hahn -- Stripper? Gang Ho? Gang Enabler?

are they saying I should NOT vote for Janice Hahn? Cuz for a 50+ year old lady, she looks OK as a stripper -- I might want to vote for her.

More DeShawn

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Hefner Wedding off

Why? Why? Don't they make a great looking couple? I would guess that he tried to negotiate too many sex requirements (ala "Cherry 2000) and she just freaked and said, "Uh, lord no! My counteroffer is you die in 3 days."

The lesson for Hef? Don't be playing around down at age 25. You can only keep them drunk for so long, then they realize that they have far better choices. At age 35 you can find hot chicks who have so completely given up on themselves that they will bang a tree branch nightly in return for a nice home and living expenses. 25 is just shooting too high for a marriage/sex commitment.

Top 13 Playoff Performers of All-Time, Based Upon PER

1 Michael Jordan* 1985 1998 CHI 28.6

2 George Mikan* 1949 1956 MNL 28.5

3 LeBron James 2006 2011 TOT 26.3

4 Shaquille O'Neal 1994 2011 TOT 26.1

5 Hakeem Olajuwon* 1985 2002 TOT 25.7

6 Tim Duncan 1998 2011 SAS NBA 25.4

7 Dirk Nowitzki 2001 2011 DAL NBA 24.7

8 Dwyane Wade 2004 2011 MIA NBA 24.6

9 Charles Barkley* 1985 1999 TOT 24.2

10 Dolph Schayes* 1950 1963 SYR 23.3

11 Jerry West* 1961 1974 LAL NBA 23.1

12 David Robinson* 1990 2003 SAS NBA 23.0

13 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar* 1970 1989 TOT 23.0

How Badly Has the Finals Loss Hurt LeBron's Image and Helped Dirk's Image? Look At the ELO Rating has an area where you can rate various players and say who you think is a better player. Before the finals, LeBron was pushing "top 10 all-time" and was slightly ahead of Dirk.

After the Finals, the fans now have him 33rd and Dirk 7th!!!!!!!!:

1 Michael Jordan* 2651
2 Magic Johnson* 2497
3 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar* 2493
4 Wilt Chamberlain* 2477
5 Larry Bird* 2412
6 Bill Russell* 2371
7 Dirk Nowitzki 2337
8 Oscar Robertson* 2295
9 Hakeem Olajuwon* 2293
10 Jerry West* 2264
11 Tim Duncan 2257
12 Karl Malone* 2256
13 Kobe Bryant 2251
14 Shaquille O'Neal 2251
15 John Stockton* 2229
16 David Robinson* 2227
17 Clyde Drexler* 2227
18 Scottie Pippen* 2216
19 Jason Kidd 2202
20 Charles Barkley* 2202
21 Julius Erving* 2186
22 Moses Malone* 2183
23 Kevin Garnett 2178
24 Steve Nash 2175
25 Elgin Baylor* 2170
26 John Havlicek* 2162
27 Patrick Ewing* 2161
28 Bob Pettit* 2151
29 Dominique Wilkins* 2145
30 Isiah Thomas* 2119
31 Bob Cousy* 2113
32 Chris Paul 2109
33 LeBron James 2104
34 Dwyane Wade 2095
35 Dwight Howard 2083

These rating are absurd in a number of ways (Moses Malone is a worse player than Clyde Drexler? Worse than Pippen? Dirk is a better player than Hakeem? Than Tim Duncan? Really. You want a one-dimensional gunner and you choose Dirk over.....The Devil!?!? By 6 spots?).

But the biggest concern for LeBron has to be that the very similar style player Oscar Robertson (1 title with Kareem at age 31) rates #8 and LeBron rates 25 spots lower. Dominique Wilkins is a better player than LeBron? Really?

Time, so they say, heals all wounds. Stockton and Malone played together for 1,000,000 years. They had a good coach in Jerry Sloan (i.e., not Erik Spoelstra). They won a total of............ZERO NBA titles. Yet they rank 12 and 15 while Wade and James (combined 1 title) are ranked 33 and 34.

In 10 years, you will see Wade move up, and hopefully the 6 bad games that LeBron just played will not forever tarnish the fact that he is a very similar player to Oscar Robertson and has put in at least 5 first-team all-NBA years, 2 MVPs and a career playoff PER of..........26.3.

Top Win Share Performer of 2011 Playoffs -- LeBron James, 3.8
Most defensive win shares 2011 Playoffs -- LeBron James, 1.5

GOP Debate -- More Puss Pawlenty

So who won the debate? Two people did. One was clearly Romney, who managed to stare down Pawlenty. Apart from a strong statement on Americans in uniform, inspired by a questioner who was a veteran, Pawlenty by contrast looked every bit the wimp he's been accused of being. If there was any hint of "fire in his belly", then Monday's group hug effectively extinguished it. And so Romney emerged as primus inter pares.

The other big winner was Michele Bachmann, who far exceeded everyone's low expectations for her – and her showing may well have knocked Palin out of the race (assuming she's still considering running).

Michelle Bachman is your second best candidate. This is like looking at your scorebook after a 90-24 AAU loss and seeing that your 8th best player got 3 late baskets and a free throw. Not much to build on.

Rick Santorum -- Was With a Gay Friend Just a Couple Days Ago!!!

And by "was with........"??????????????

Tim Pawlenty -- Pusses Out At the GOP Debate

So, T-Paw, you call Affordable Health Care law "Obamneycare" -- got anything to say to Mitt Romney while he is standing right here next to you?

T-Paw: "Um, not really. I was just quoting Barack Obama."\

You sure you got nothing to say?

T-Paw: "Nope. Just quoting Obama."

I am reminded of Buddy's comment to Jerry in "3 O'Clock High":

"You are pathetic. You are such a pussy. You didn't even try! How can you live with yourself..."

Monday, June 13, 2011

John Kasich -- Mavericks Show Integrity -- Oh Come On......

Look, folks in Cleveland, I know LeBron fucked you over and you can be happy that he played poorly and did not win the title, but having the Governor take time out from doing anything about 20% unemployment [or not] to take the time to honor the Mavericks for their "integrity"? Really.

Look through these reports and ask how much "integrity" Jason Kidd has --

Oh, I guess the "integrity" comment would be directed toward DeShawn Stevenson -- oh wait, maybe not:

Well, I suppose Kasich just wants to make sure a team doesn't buy a title by going, say $35MM over the salary cap: oh wait, that is Dallas also ($90MM payroll, second only to Miami (error - should say "The Lakers").

Well, but LeBron exercised his contract right not to play for Cleveland anymore, thus allowing Cleveland to get the ##1 and 4 picks in this year's yeah, he is a bad guy.

Tim Pawlenty -- Attacks "Obamneycare"

So, we can rest assured that that phrase will never catch on with the public!

Here in Minnesota, we reserve our federal money requests for when bridges on major Interstate highways fall into the river because Tim Pawlenty has made us a northern Mississippi.

Dan Gilbert and Mo Williams


Bismarck Biyombo -- um, Raw

Friday, June 10, 2011

Baby Monkey Riding a Pig

Don't Ask LeBron For change For a Dollar

Because all he has is 3 quarters............

Mavs lead 3 to 2.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Mad Libs Creator Dies

His Funeral annnouncement:

On a __{adjective}_____________ day during the _{number}th___ day of June, the

__{adverb} ______, _______{adjective}______ funeral will be

held at the __{adjective}_________ church. The ____{adjective} ____________ noise will be __{verb}_________ for Mr. Stern

__{adverb} ________ and all will have a ___{adjective}__________ time.


Oven Mitt Romney -- "Yes, I Believe in Global Warming."

Perhaps the more amazing part of the story is the unnamed Romney rep' who says that Romney is showing leadership by not changing his position.


Wow. That was a good one! Today is June 9, 2011. I will predict that by June 16, 2011, the Oven Mitt will have reversed himself and have stated unequivocally that he does NO believe in global warming.

Anthony Weiner's Virtual Harem

Only one more to, I mean, step forward.

Alabama -- Tough On Immigration

The new law "makes it a crime to knowingly give an illegal immigrant a ride...."

I would have to see the language in the actual statute, but can you really criminalize giving someone a ride? Guy asks you in a British accent if he can have a ride to the store to buy some milk -- are you a criminal? Little brown skinned kid is on the side of the road, doesn't speak English and appears hurt or abandoned -- sorry, Pablo, I would like to keep you from dying of exposure, but I am not going to jail.

Or, if the standard of "knowingly" is that you actually have to KNOW the guy is in the country in violation of federal law, do you have to actually read the law and confirm with the guy that he is not covered under any potential exclusion from the immigration laws???

Expect NYC cabbies to lobby hard for this bill to be enacted in New York -- they don't like to pick up people with dark skin anyway. "Hey, I thought he looked like an East African illegal -- couldn't risk it."

LeBron in 2011 Finals -- VERY Pippen-esque, Circa 1992

In the finals, LeBron about 17-7-6. Guys with similar stats over a full playoff effort:

1992 Pippen (22 games and title)
Young KG and young Grant Hill (first round losses)
34 year old Larry Bird (second round loss).

So, all the comments that LeBron went to Mimai so he could be Pippen to Wade's

Shania Twain Falls -- At Least She Didn't Blow Her ACL

Local baseball Club -- Headed to State

Imagine you are the senior on the losing club who, with the team down two runs and with two outs in the 6th, tried to advance from second to 3rd and was thrown out......probably not going to enjoy school today.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Wolves to Trade for JaVale McGee?!?!

Would you give up the #2 pick for Sam Dalembert? Tree Rollins? Benoit Benjamin?


Ed Rollins -- Republicans Will Vote For Bachmann Over Palin -- Both Are Hot, One Is Smart

And how does Rollins distinguish Bachmann from Palin?

“People are going to say, ‘I gotta make a choice and go with the intelligent woman who’s every bit as attractive.’”


There is no doubt that tax attorney Bachmann, while possibly insane, is far more intelligent than "5 schools to get a journalism degree" Palin. But how does she really stack up on a HM's Duke Law facebook style rating??? Well, wonder no more.

Bachmann -- face 6, body 8, doability 6

While doability is certainly subjective, it just is hard to really get into the thought of banging a chick with that wide-eyed crazy looking religious zealot stare. It just does not sit well. I recall an old gf who was ridiculously slutty, but very religious. She would return from religious retreats almost glowing with the holy spirit. I basically had to not be around her for a couple days until stress and Dr. Jack Daniels would bring her back to earth.

Palin -- face 7, body 9, doability 10

While her face is going quickly, the woman just oozes sex. She just looks like the girl who knows she is dumb and is willing to perform in another manner for your enjoyment. She is marginally athletic (meaning she can look trim but not haggard) and she has some really large assets to push up and forward.

Bachmann -- 20 (not bad for a 50 year old)
Palin -- 26

So it is really not close. And with Plain's idiocy being canceled out by Bachmann's insanity, you still gotta go Palin.

Unfortunately, Sarah would quit after 3 weeks as President once she figured out you make only $400K in the job, thus becoming the second President ever to resign, and the first to do so for no good reason.

By Way of Apology for the Weiner -- Some Brooklyn Decker

Sweet fancy Moses. Do you really ever wonder why Andy Roddick cannot play tennis at all well? My lord, it is a miracle he can ever gets out of bed.

If Brooklyn would just say "no Grand Slam wins, no monster tits for you" I think Federer's grand slam record would be in danger.

GM CEO -- "Screw Over The CONSUMERS, Not GM!!!"

$1 per gallon more per gas or making GM actually come up with vehicles that use less gas? GM's choice -- welcome to $5 per gallon gas.

Making more fuel efficient vehicles, "Will cost us jobs"?????????? Yeah, just like all of the Japanese auto makers lost jobs in 1975 by making smaller more fuel efficient cars....that was a terrible idea, they never regained any market share.

U.S. car manufacturers -- have they EVER taken the long-range view? No. If you told them you could have $1 today or $1,000,000 in 3 years, management would say "shit, I won't be around in 3 years, I will take the dollar."

Anthony Weiner's Weiner Pic

Good lord, I hope your eyes are not good and your computer has poor resolution -- like 1984 level resolution.

Here goes. DO NOT scroll down if you have just eaten

Don't do it,

Please don't...

Don't do it.

Anthony Weiner's Wife -- Muslim Babe

You can see in these pics, Weiner isn't real interested in actually snuggling up to a real live babe, he appears to be lost in thought -- more interested in getting home and whacking off to porn star Ginger Lee (pictured).

Now, yeah, I realize that option 2 was his primary choice for 45 years, but man, if you have the chance at the Indio-Pak babe, aren't you getting out the harem outfit and playing sheik?

Just saying.

I will say this in Weiner's "defense" -- the best looking woman I ever dated - other than my wife - (like a 9.5 out of 10) was terrible in bed. I just think she never really had to try very hard....and she really was pretty medicore when she did try. So maybe Weiner just wasn't getting any????

Isiah Thomas to Pistons!?!?!??!?

Even worse, 50% of voters in the poll seem to think and Isiah hiring is a good/not bad idea!?!?

This is a guy who cost his old team $10,000,000 in a sexual harassment suit -- yep, go ahead and hire him.

Terrible GM, terrible coach.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Anthony Weiner 1996 -- "I want to be Sucked Back Into the Throes of Love"

Click on the attached photo.

"I want to be sucked back into the throes of love" -- well under 140 characters and you can add two or three links to Twitpics!!!

I Just Noticed

Since I am not allowed to be anti-gay (not that I ever have been or would be -- my law school support for Bowers v. Hardwick notwithstanding), it really limits the insults I can heap upon men whom I hate and who do dickish things.

I mean, you can call a guy a dick, but how far can you really go with that very limited ammo? Not far. Fag -- nope. Homo -- nope. all outdated and improper.

I mean, even "you suck" is not very effective if it means "you suck eggs" (which is basically the derivation). I mean, "you suck cock" -- well, perfectly legal and acceptable. "Big cock" -- isn't that actually giving the person more sexual credit? I mean, being gay is fine, so sucking big cock, I would say, is actually a compliment. The person is not being insulted -- they have better choices and are more adept at what they do. That is a compliment.

My Day At Work

I posted some emails on a listserv that I am a member of (actually work-related).

The response by one jackass -- he quotes certain lines in my email and says "Come on folks, we are ALL better than this."

Then he adds, "I do not mean to single any particular person out through my quotes."

Not surprisingly -- guy has a girl's first name.

Um, I am Not Going Shopping Tonight

Monday, June 06, 2011

Anthony Weinet - Pathetic

Weiner's weiner - what a weiner.

Most pathetic aspect, Weiner's statement that he never met or touched any of the women. Um, if you are going to be sending out dick pics at least be trying to get some.

My lord.

Were LeBron and Wade 100% Correct???

When LeBron went to Miami to become Pippen to Wade's Jordan, everyone fell basically into one of three camps:

1) they will win 75 games and be the most dominant team of all-time (Jeff Van Gundy);

2) they still won't win anything (HM -- I doubted they would win the East, I thought Orlando was the team to beat)

3) they are 100% correct, they need each other to win.

I should add as an overriding category #4 -- "It is pathetic, neither man really should be cowering behind the other." So this category says they each could win 60 separately and takes no position on whether 1, 2, or 3 is correct.

Well, if the playoffs have taught us anything, it is either that I am correct (they still won't win) or that #3 is correct.

The fact is, the two most likely scenarios are that the Heat will either narrowly miss out on the title, or they will barely squeak by and win the title in 6 or 7 games. If they lose, the combined star power will have been insufficient, but if they win............

The whole idea LeBron and Wade had was that it sucked that they could go 27-7-7 with 3 steals + blocks every year and still win jack shit. Their review of the league told them that if they COMBINED their respective talents that they would have enough, ultimately, to beat Boston and win the East and then compete with the Lakers juggernaut out of the West. Listen to their old interviews, that is exactly what both guys say -- we have looked at the league and we have decided that it will take us both (plus Bosh) to win.

They might be 100% right. They beat Boston because of LeBron. They beat Chicago because of LeBron. They are beating Dallas mostly because Wade effing OWNS Dallas. So, when Wade is hurting, LeBron has just enough. When LeBron looks mediocre, Wade has just enough. And Bosh fills in with open jumpers and decent perimeter D here and there.

If these guys win in 6 or 7 games, they will have possibly estimated EXACTLY what was necessary to win a title, to within a hair of what exactly they needed. And if they are 100% correct, then really, how can we blame them for evaluating the league and their own talents so precisely???????

Just a thought.

Solar Powered Bikini and Pippa

Friday, June 03, 2011

Novak Djokovic -- Loser

Roger, too much.

It was nice while it lasted, Novak......

Donnie Walsh -- Fired

I guess if your boss constantly went to Isiah Thomas for advice rather than to you, you would be happy to be fired.

David Kahn's old boss....................maybe we can upgrade?

Does Anyone Remember This Epic Playoff Collapse?

It seems to me that getting your ass kicked by 20 or 30 in a playoff game really has little impact on a team, but losing 10-15-24 point leads is just too great a morale killer for teams to overcome.

I really do not see the Heat recovering from completely pissing away Game 2.

By the by, Dirk averages under 3 assists a game for his career -- why do teams refuse to double him in key situations? I am baffled by this indecision by NBA coaches.

Hmmm, double and force a mediocre passer to make a good pass, or allow him to shoot a left-handed layup against Chris Bosh?

Willard "Mitt" Romney Back In the Race -- Good to See a Pro-Abortion candidate on the GOP side

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Noah's Ark and Donna D'Errico

Guys, Noah's Ark is a bible story, it really did not actually happen. And even if it did, do you think rotten water-soaked wood would still be around 5,000 years later is sufficient shape to recognize on a mountaintop?

Some additional problems:

OK, first: if you are making "nods" to modern, why? It took you three freaking years to build this thing!!! 3 years! Do you think God came to Noah 3 years in advance and said, "hey man, three years from now....." and Noah started building? 3 years! Second, Noah obviously has no steel or modern tools, so how many years did it take him? 20? So.....guy was given 20 years notice of a flood? How nervous do you think he got around year 7 when it rained for like 4 days. "Oh man, I am only 1/3 done, I am screwed...."

Second -- Donna D'Errico, a 40 year old Kendra Wilkinson with (if it is possible) less talent. She is a thin blonde girl who stapled on some monster implants and looks great nude. Well, based upon this 2009 pic, that ladder is falling slowly backward. She may be working out and leaning forward at the ladder as hard as she can to avoid that point of no return where you know the ladder will fall, but make no mistake, it is falling.

When you are 23 and feature a rock hard body with 34D implants, it is cute that you believe in bible stories -- guys want to defile you anyway, so it is cute that you are crazy and overly religious. When the guy has Playboy model Donna bent over a chair in the living room and is banging her relentlessly, he gets a kick out of the fact that she is so religious. Once you turn 40, however, you have enough baggage honey, no need to be crazy and naive as well.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

More Shaq -- Players With 25 Points, 12 Rebounds, 2.5 Blocks and 2 Assists Per game In a Season

Kareem 5 (plus the 4 years where he played that the league did not chart blocks -- note that when Wilt played they never charted blocks, so my estimate on Wilt is also 9)

Shaq 4
David Robinson 2
Hakeem 1
Bob McAdoo 1

And that is the order I would rank them in.

Shaq v. Hakeem Career Stats --

I am sorry, I just think the Big Aristotle was better. Their overall stats are very, very similar, yet Shaq reached the finals, what? 6 times? Hakeem made it, I believe, twice?

Both, sadly, stayed too long at the dance (Hakeem as a Raptor, anyone? Enjoying that 14 PER and negative offensive win shares were we?)

Both had consistent dominance. Hakeem has a 5 year stretch where he was not outside the top 7 in MVP balloting and ranked 1st to 7th. Hakeem had another 5 year stretch where he ranked 4th to 7th. Shaq had an 8 year stretch where he finished between 1st and 6th. He also early in his career had a 2nd and a 4th.

Hakeem was a more productive and feared defender.

Ultimately Shaq won more titles, scored more points, had a higher PER, and had more win shares in both the regular season and playoff.

Shaq was a slightly better player than Hakeem. Not as good as Kareem, not as good as Wilt.

Goodbye Shaq -- Hard To Dispute He Is Top 10 All-Time

8 times first team all-NBA.

6 Times 2nd or 3rd team all-NBA

MVP Award Shares -- 6th of all-time

3 times NBA Finals MVP

4 times NBA champion

12th most career rebounds

7th most career blocks

5th most career points

3rd Best Career PER

7th most career win shares

Started at center in the NBA finals with 3 different teams.

Best Centers of all-time:

Sadly, 4 have been Lakers for long stretches!

Good bye, big fella. You should have left 3 years ago.

Shaq -- Quitter

6/1/11 1:47 PM
im retiring Video:

Since I Know My Readers Love Fashion........

How about Jenny McCarthy? Having escaped the beauty poison that is a Jim Carrey relationship, she has finally recovered back to her formerly-stunning form.

I saw a Lauren Holly movie the other day -- she is now back to 75% of her former beauty, up from approximately 11% when she was with Carrey.