Friday, July 29, 2011

Jeffrey Rosen -- Obama Would Win 14th Amendment Battle

The thing that is just so frustrating about Barack Obama is he just has no effing backbone whatsoever. I am put in mind of the episode of "Frasier" where Frasier hired a new agent (I believe named Ned) because he was a nice guy and ethical.
Ned did everything in a super crappy manner and nearly destroyed Frasier's entire career.
Barack Obama is Ned. But worse. Everybody LIKED Ned, they just walked all over him because they COULD. They took no joy in it. Barack Obama is despised by the very people out to fuck him over and take away his job, but every day he comes to work and tries to work out a way to "compromise" with these people. He is the kid you see in school who thinks he is friends with the guys who put his head in the toilet every day -- "Hey guys, wanna come over to my house and eat cookies my mom made?" No thanks, Barry, today we are stripping you maked and hanging you from the goalpost. "Well, hold on. What say we compromise and you let me wear a thong and hang upside down from the basketball hoop?" Hmmmm, let me think -- no, naked, goal post, and now that you fucked us over by making us look bad, it now is from the far top of the the dead of winter. "Gee guys, can we at least say March 15?" Sure, why not.
Obama then goes home and tells his mom that he had no choice but to be hung from the goal post naked, but he did get something --- the March 15 date -- so he would call it a fair compromise.
And who is advising Obama? Hopefully the answer is 'no one" because if they are advising him to do what he is doing, they should all be fired. Even the most milquetoast dad or wussiest mom would not allow their son to be constantly humiliated without demanding some serious re-direction in his behavior, right? "But mom, I really think Eric Cantor likes me!! You can't make me stop hanging around with him!!!!" Sorry, Barry, it is for your own good. Right?
An alternative analogy -- Obama is like a drug addict who desperately craves his drug -- the desire to be loved like Ronald the same people who loved Reagan. He is a poor black kid who badly wants white rich folk to love him. He is constantly sucking Reagan's dead schlong -- um, see, you are a DEMOCRAT, Barack. Our most successful President from an economic standpoint was Bill Clinton -- just don't cheat on your wife, but otherwise just copy Clinton. Alas, it is probably too late -- Clinton had his first Congress pass his budget bill by 1 or 2 votes. That set the stage for a tremendous run of economic success. Obama diddled and dithered and really did jack shit while he sought bipartisan support for........well, any economic plan that would have bipartisan support. Opportunity lost. See Barack, when you get in office with a big majority, you ram shit through, bring your 50th and 218th vote to chambers on a stretcher if need be, and then you hope you were right. Sometimes you are (Clinton) and sometimes you are not (GWB) but that is what you do. Again, too late now. Now you having the effing crazy ass teabaggers whose primary goal is to get rid of you -- you will never have an opportunity to pass anything meaningful ever again. Congrats.
14th Amendment --- reasonable analysis: Obama wins. Obama analysis: "Gosh, I might lose (and Ronald Reagan's ghost might be unhappy with me).
Pathetic. Barack -- grow a pair.

Alex Morgan Says thanks for Her Narrow Poll Victory over Hope Solo

Chris Christie -- Short of Breath

This article, somewhere around the middle, notes that Chris Christie "is overweight."
WHAT!?!?!? How do you bury the lead like that?

Bill Kristol -- Unhappy

Thursday, July 28, 2011

All You Need to Know About the Debt Negotiation

Despite his image as a button-down Republican, House Speaker John Boehner walked to the brink of a dramatic and historic agreement to change the government's spending habits.

But as he twice approached a $4 trillion deficit-reduction deal with President Barack Obama that would have rocked both parties' bases, Boehner was reeled back in by his caucus' conservative wing. The muscular, Tea Party-fueled group not only forced him to abandon a "grand bargain" with Obama, it made him scramble Wednesday to secure the votes for a far more modest deficit-ceiling plan, which in turn is all but doomed in the Senate.
So, Boehner and Obama wanted a $4T reduction, and the Teabaggers forced him to present a $1T plan. Um, whatever happened to the whole "we are going broke, it is an emergency" theme?
Oh, and Rush Limbaugh apparently just said that the GOP would be playing into Obama's hands by passing Boehner's current for mass GOP defections while they get in line to blow El Rushbo.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

For You Brooklyn Decker Fans.

How this guy kept the camera from moving is anyone's guess.

Wall Street Journal to Tea Parties -- STFU and Just Vote With John Boehner

Brutal, brutal put-down by the #1 Icon of the "Rich Wing" to the entire "Poor Wing" of the GOP:

But what none of these [Tea Party] critics have is an alternative strategy for achieving anything nearly as fiscally or politically beneficial as Mr. Boehner's plan. The idea seems to be that if the House GOP refuses to raise the debt ceiling, a default crisis or gradual government shutdown will ensue, and the public will turn en masse against . . . Barack Obama. The Republican House that failed to raise the debt ceiling would somehow escape all blame. Then Democrats would have no choice but to pass a balanced-budget amendment and reform entitlements, and the tea-party Hobbits could return to Middle Earth having defeated Mordor.

This is the kind of crack political thinking that turned Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnell into GOP Senate nominees. The reality is that the debt limit will be raised one way or another, and the only issue now is with how much fiscal reform and what political fallout.
To re-phrase in upstate NY speak circa 1982 -- "Hey, idiots, shut the fuck up and do what we say. Jesus, when I want your opinion, I will give it to you."

Romney Narrowly Leads Poll of Possible GOP Candidates

Average of last 10 polls:

Romney 21.6

Bachmann 13.1

Palin 12.3

Perry 11.9

Giuliani 11.0

Paul 7.9

Cain 6.0

Gingrich 4.9

Pawlenty 2.7

Santorum 2.0

Bad news for T-Paw -- Gallup's latest poll (Sunday and Monday) has him at 2%, so he is actually backing up........if that is even possible.

Michele Bachmann -- $4,700 For Hair and Makeup?

On the plus side, some contingent fee lawyer out there has a slam-dunk fee of $1566.66 waiting if he wants to bring an "unjust enrichment" claim against the stylist....

Boehner Shows "The Town" Clip To Rally House GOP Support For His Plan

I mean, WTF is going on here?

I guess, in a way, it is a fitting analogy. Boehner, "Guys, we are professional thieves we are going to keep allof our ill-gotten money AND completely fuck up poor minority folk. Who is with me?"

Florida AG Pam Bondi -- Is She Hot?

You gotta watch the video -- I find it difficult to make a decision. Sometimes she looks busty and sexy, sometimes she looks boxy and dorky.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Spurrier Assistant Pisses All Over Greenville

G.D. Spradlin -- Dead at 90

I did not think it was appropriate for Robbie Benson to respond to this news by saying, "Up yours with a red hot poker" but I guess Robbie still holds a grudge from when Spradlin tried to make him lose his scholarship in "One on One."

Monday, July 25, 2011

Who Is Owed 70% of America's Debt? Americans

China owns only 8%.
So if we keep rasing the debt limit that means..........well..........more Americans will have to keep buying up U.S. debt.
(And we will keep borrowing from the Social Security Trust Fund -- an entity owed a lot more than China).
I guess if we just made Social Security "forgive" its debt we could solve a big chunk of the debt crisis today...........

Alex Morgan Goal

Top 20 Movies of the Past 365 days With My Entertainment Value Notes

1 Transformers: Dark of the Moon -- $325,789,000

72 out of 100 -- way too long and repetitive

2 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 -- $295,001,070

Did not see

3 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 -- $274,182,000

72 -- Not that great, steals liberally from Lord of the Rings

4 The Hangover Part II -- $252,160,717

79 -- would be higher if it hadn't been done before

5 Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides -- $238,010,000

did not see

6 Fast Five -- $209,441,000

95 -- best movie I have seen in a long time.

7 Tangled -- $200,821,936

81 -- above average kids movie

8 Thor -- $180,128,000

Did not see

9 Cars 2 -- $176,445,000

Did not see

10 Tron Legacy -- $172,062,763

74 -- pretty decent

11 True Grit -- $171,050,328

91 -- even better had I been able to understand Jeff Bridges

12 Bridesmaids -- $163,853,000

75 -- Good not great

13 Kung Fu Panda -- $160,784,000

60 -- pretty mediocre family fare

14 Little Fockers -- $148,438,600

Did not see.

15 Megamind -- $148,415,853

74 -- pretty funny

16 X-Men: First Class -- $144,197,000

Did not see.

17 Rio -- $142,578,000

Did not see.

18 The King's Speech -- $135,453,143

82 -- very overrated movie, certainly not a "Best Movie Oscar" film.

19 Super 8 -- $124,235,000

Did not see.

20 Rango -- $123,257,581

Did not see.

Katy Perry Smurfette -- Man, I Would Smurf the Smurf Out of Her.

Michele Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty In Battle of Wits

Both, sadly, are unarmed.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The July Resurrection Of "The Baby Jesus" Joe Mauer

local sports radio guy Dan Barreiro is no fan of Joe Mauer, thinks he is an overrated and overpaid ballplayer, and refers to him as "The Baby Jesus" because locals worship him.

Well, things looked pretty awful for The Baby Jesus on June 24, 2011 when he was hitting .186 with an OPS of .454. Those are, almost exactly, Drew Butera numbers.

Today is July 20.

Joe Mauer -- Now batting .297101, giving him the best batting average of any healthy Twins regular. (Cuddyer is at .297059 by my calculations).

Joe Mauer's current OPS is around .710. (this despite the fact that Joe rarely hits anything but singles in 2011).

So, in less than a month, Mauer has raised his average 111 points and his OPS by 250 points.

It should be noted, also, that he is the Twins best fielding first baseman and best fielding catcher, and he is beginning to run the bases at over 65% efficiency.

Welcome back, Baby Jesus.

Hit Tracker -- Thome HR only 464 Feet

So, 24 feet shorter than Prince's shot.
I can live with the idea that Thome's shot was 24 feet shorter than Prince's, but I don't agree on the measurement of either.
Prince hit a ball almost off the back wall of a standard two-deck stadium. 48 rows over the left center wall. 500+
Thome's ball cleared an 18 foot wall, the lower deck, 8 rows of the upper deck and was actually knocked down by a fan reaching above his head to try to catch the ball. That ball would have landed only 80 feet beyond the outfield wall? So, if I put an 18 foot wall at home plate and threw a ball so it went 20+ feet over the wall traveling at a speed so fast that it could not be easily caught by someone say sitting 30 feet higher and 25 feet behind the wall, the ball would not even reach first base? I really, really doubt that.
My verdict -- Prince -- 510. Thome -- 490.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Rory McIlroy -- No More Holly Sweeney, Now Caroline Wozniacki

Rory definitely likes the blonde hair dark eye makeup look. "Just set me up with a taller wealthier version of my ex....OK mates???

Monday, July 18, 2011

What Is 19 Years Old and Looks Great In Slo Motion? That Would Be Kate Upton!

43 Poll Answers -- Hope Solo Only About a 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 10.

If you take the midpoint of each quartile and do the math, it is about 6 out of 10.

If, instead, you try to find the median answer, it is in the 51-75 quartile, the 4th highest vote out of 13, so about 17 points above 51 == 68.

So Hope, per my readers, is about a 6 or a 7.

I would say 7 to 8, but the people have spoken.

Herman Cain -- We Can Ban Mosques

On Fox News Sunday today, host Chris Wallace pursued Cain’s reasoning behind his rabid opposition to the Tennessee center. Cain explained that while the Constitution guarantees a separation of church and state, the Islamic faith “combines church and state. They’re using the church part of our First Amendment to infuse their morals in that community.” [...]

WALLACE: But couldn’t any community then say they don’t want a mosque in our community?

CAIN: They could say that. Chris, lets go back to the fundamental issue that the people are basically saying they’re objecting to. They’re objecting to the fact Islam is both a religion and a set of laws, Sharia law. That’s the difference between any one of our other traditional religions where it’s just about religious purposes. The people in the community know best, and I happen to side with the people in Murfreesboro.

WALLACE: You’re saying any community, if they want to ban a mosque?

CAIN: Yes. They have a right to do that. That’s not discriminating based upon religion.

Strip searching Strippers -- $150,000 to the lawyers, $45,000 to the Strippers

The good thing for the strippers is, the lawyers will spend half that money on the strippers.

Prince Fielder 486 Feet == Jim Thome 490 Feet???

Friday, July 15, 2011

71 Guys Made the Cut At the British Open

One above the minimum. Every golfer in the tourney this weekend starts out within 7 shots of the lead. Every single one.
I think one of the coolest things in sports is the cut at major golf tourneys. Let's take Hunter Mahan -- excellent golfer, shot -1 today, had he made one more birdie, he is within striking range of a major tourney win with two good weekend rounds. Instead -- nope, cut.
J.B. Holmes, excellent golfer, tied for 18th after day one -- has one bad day, cut.
They should apply this rule in every major sport. Baseball -- at the all-star break if you are not within 10 games of the lead in your division -- cut. Football -- if you are below .500 with less than 4 games remaining -- cut. Basketball -- if you are not within 20 at half -- you forfeit.
I like it so much.

Poor Wing of the GOP Drawing Fire From......Bill O'Reilly!!?!??!

Young Barbara Eden -- NSFW

There were many beautiful women even before MTV began.

God bless sleazy photographers willing to sell outtakes.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Casey Anthony Porno Offer -- "Withdrawn", so to Speak

Steven Hirsch of Vivid Entertainm­ent made the offer yesterday, dropped it today and cited the “overwhelm­ingly negative response” from the public.

Hirsch released a statement: “We were ready to make an offer to Casey to star in one of our feature films. It’s clear to me now, however, that there has been an overwhelmi­ngly negative response to our offer and so we’ve decided to withdraw it.

“It has become obvious to us that Vivid fans, and people in general, want nothing to do with her and that includes a XXX movie.

“We want to make movies that people want to watch and we now believe that we underestim­ated the emotional response that people are having to the verdict. A movie starring Casey Anthony is not what people want to see.”

I would have to disagree -- it is almost exactly what I WOULD want to see!!!

Mark Dayton -- Quitter

You have to hand it to the GOP -- they always win. When we had a GOP Governor and a Dem' legislature, the GOP won. When we have a Dem' Governor and a GOP legislature, the GOP wins.
As Lisa Simpson once noted when asked why she would support Republican Kruty the Klown for office, "It WOULD be nice to win once...."
Effing wussy Dems. Drive me crazy.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Michele Bachmann's Pro-Slevery Pledge

Pro-slavery and anti-porn. I cannot imagine a worse combo.
In Michele's defense, she said she signed it without reading it........which as all good tax lawyers know is just a fantastic defense when raised by a person with a law degree.
Certainly no surprise -- Bachmann always throws shit up against the wall and then asked what the hell she is talking about says, "I don't know, somebody told me that...."
Still doing far better than Pawlenty (latest poll shows 3% support nationwide for TPaw).

Why Kurt Rambis Was Fired So Slowly

Basically, they wouldn't fire Rambis so they could sign Ricky Rubio.
Ricky Rubio better be the effing greatest player of all time, because Kahn has made himself a complete jackass for 2+ years pining over this guy who shoots 35% from the floor and 20% from 3 in an inferior league.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Kim Kardashian -- Twins Fan

Quin Snyder Twitter..........Not

May be the only person in the world willing to take the Minnesota job now that Kelvin Sampson and J.B. Bickerstaff have gone to Houston as assistants!!
It snows a lot in Minnesota, as it apparently does in this guy's apartment....

Tiger Woods -- Drug Man

From Twitter:

sportsguy33Bill Simmons

This story continues to smell like an aquarium.
1 hour ago
Come on, Bill Simmons!! When you want therapy that is completely unrelated to steroid use, you would, of course, select a doctor who is well known as a steroid dispenser. Right? I mean, that is the smart thing to do, right?
Next up for Tiger's defense -- "Flaxseed Oil" commentary.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Hope Solo -- Maxim Chick in Waiting

I predict Maxim pics on the Internet by August 1.

I Wish There Was a Way I Could Get Erin Andrews and Kate Upton Together In a Photo

oh wait, never mind.......

Ryann O'Toole Finishes 9th at U.S. Open -- Wins $82,000

Um, congrats.

When Asked If They Really Believe in Deficit Reduction -- Republicans Admit They Aren't

Obama Plan -- $4Trillion reduction.
John Boehner -- "Nope, that is too much, how about $2 Trillion."
Really, it is as simple as that. All the whining and bitching about "we are going broke" is just political theatre. When asked to DOUBLE the amount of deficit reduction, the GOP says, "UM, no thanks."

Friday, July 08, 2011

Best #2 Picks in the Past 35 Years

5. Terry Cummings
4. Alonzo Mourning
3. Gary Payton
2. and 1. (tie) Isiah Thomas and Jason Kidd (neither real good to the female population)
So, Derrick Williams, there is some hope for you.

Yao Ming -- Quitter

8th Circuit -- Tom Brady and Drew Brees are Losers

The basic point:
1) When you end your union after a labor dispute has arisen, there is still a "labor dispute" for purposes of the Norris-LaGiardia Act; and
2) The NL Act (designed to prevent courts from forcing striking workers back to work) also can be read as prohibiting a court from forcing employers to let workers come back to work.
So there ya go.
One wonders whether the "labor dispute" ever ends. If the players are locked out for, say, 3 years, are they still involved in a labor dispute? If so, wouldn't it be a good idea for all employers to have a union for a few years, then force a dispute, then hire scabs? Right?

Josh Hamilton -- Wrongful Death Causer, Or Author of Darwin's Cruelest Play?

Talk About A Victimless Crime!

Wait now, there was a place where women would expose their breasts for money? How could that possibly be? I have never heard of such an establishment. I will now put my hands together and make some noise -- next up gentlemen, Savannah...............

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Sandcastles In The Sand Video

Armen Gilliam -- RIP

2nd pick in 1987 NBA Draft, died playing pickup basketball at an L.A. Fitness. -- many, many, many similar NBA players.
Best Armen Gilliam story -- once told Barkley, "Sure, you score a lot. We go to you every time down." Barkley replied, "OK, to start this game we will go to you every time down. Post up and we will get you the ball." Aft6er 10 straight times down, Gilliam reportedly went to Barkley and begged out of the deal, stating that he just couldn't handle the stress of having the ball that many times in a row down the court (plus he had a ton of turnovers).

Rambis to Front Office? Good Lord.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Tim Pawlenty _ Courage to Suck

He just isn't a very bright guy, he really isn't a compelling personality, he couldn't get 50% of the vote in Minnesota, and now he wants to be Mitt Romney-lite.
He sucks. Why didn't he rip Romney? Because even Timmy knows that his best hope of ever advancing is to be the bland VP candidate eventually. Why screw that up by having any balls?

Born this Way -- That Is, With a Disease

Friday, July 01, 2011

Nikola Pekovic's Agent -- He Doesn't Want to Go to Turkey

Tweets ·Top TopAllWith links»

L'agent de Nikola Pekovic a démenti que le Monténégrin pourrait rejoindre le Galatasaray. Il souhaite rester en NBA.

Translating based upon my 3 years of high school French:

The agent for Nikola Pekovic is denying that the Montenegran will be rejoining [Turkish squad] Galatasaray. He wants to stay in the NBA.

Randy Savage -- Enlarged Heart

A guy on the Internet asked a doctor: Do anabolic steroids cause an enlarged heart?

Answer -- well, kinda, maybe, hard to say, who knows, but maybe.....

Today's Answer -- almost certainly yes: