Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Polls Show Voters Want a GOP Prez -- Just Not the Ones Who Are Running For President

Tuesday, August 30
President Obama vs. Republican Candidate

Rasmussen Reports

Obama 40, Republican 48

Republican +8

Wednesday August 31

Perry 24, Romney 18, Palin 11, Bachmann 10, Giuliani , Paul 9, Gingrich 3, Cain 5, Santorum 1, Huntsman 1

General Election: Perry vs. Obama
Obama 45, Perry 42

Obama +3

General Election: Romney vs. Obama

Obama 45, Romney 45


General Election: Bachmann vs. Obama


Obama 48, Bachmann 39

Obama +9

General Election: Palin vs. Obama


Obama 51, Palin 37

Obama +14

To use an analogy -- someone polls you and asks,"Would you rather marry some woman chosen at random out of a hat, or......Joan Rivers? Oh, the random woman.

Then they go on:
So, Chaz Bono or Joan Rivers -- whoa, Joan!
Nancy Grace or Joan Rivers -- probably Joan or tie.
Ugliest girl you know or Joan Rivers -- Joan
That bitchy chick who is stupid and who you despise or Joan Rivers -- Joan.

That is what we have going on here.

God -- "Rick Perry, Please Take Your Meds"

Rick Perry -- Worked For Al Gore, Loved Hillary Clinton's Healthcare Plan

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Police called to Bieber Accident -- Really!?!?

He was sitting in a parking garage and was tapped from behind by a Honda Civic. No damage was apparent. Why exactly were police called?

Dancing With the Stars -- Hope Solo, Two Other Babes, and a lot of .....Ewwww

David Arquette -- whacked out druggie

Ron Artest -- just whacked out

Chaz Bono -- will apparently dance with a girl. Congrats, girl.....

Elisabetta Canalis -- babe

Kristen Cavallari -- babe, but unduly cruel to diabetics

Nancy Grace -- wow, how awful will this be?

Robert Kardashian -- I guess he cannot be worse than Kim as a dancer

Carson Kressley -- he is dancing with a girl

Ricki Lake -- darkhorse to win

J.R. Martinez -- my talent is that I was badly burned as a soldier

Chynna Phillips -- super that Robert Urich 1990

Hope Solo -- babe

Hilaria Thomas -- Alec Baldwin's 28 Year Old Yoga Teacher

he was asked at the U.S. open the other night, "So how is your downward facing dog."

"Pretty good for a man of my age."

Per some people, my lookalike.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

This Is Where I Grew Up

Listen to that really flat "a" in all of her words! Even some "e"s get that treatment.

Mitt Romney -- The Jews Think Bachmann is Jewish -- It Costs Me Donors

Um, wow.

New Bachmann downing the weiner pic -- never noticed the male spectator before. Is that Steve Mariucci?

Sarah Palin Could Take a train From Russia To Her House

Talk about DESOLATE terrain. My lord, you are miles under a frozen ocean, going from nowhere to nowhere. At least it will provide more ideas for the sequel to Who's Naylin' Paylin?

Sebastian Bach -- Rocked Like a Hurricane

Unlike most Americans alive today, Sebastian, I Remember You:

Oh Javaris Crittenton -- Why?

Back when Phil Jackson traded Crittenton for Pau Gasol and said "I hate to lose him" did Phil have a hit he wanted put out on someone???

A Great Opportunity from Sinead O'Connor For My Friends Over 38....

Stewie said to The Bandit on "Family Guy," Good luck tapping some of that hot......Sally Field.....tail.......eww...."
I provide the same sort of half-hearted "go for it guys" note to the K -- you got a sure thing here, K. Just like that old 80's movie!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Um, OK.......

Not just a fad.

Rick Santorum -- He is No Gary Johnson

But he is a Thad McCotter.

CNN Poll
Rick Perry: 32
Mitt Romney: 18
Michele Bachmann: 12
Newt Gingrich: 7
Ron Paul: 6
Herman Cain: 3
Gary Johnson: 2
Jon Huntsman: 1
Rick Santorum: 1
Thad McCotter: 1

I am not making that up -- there is a guy named Thad McCotter running for President!

Most GOP voters appear to now understand that Herman Cain is black, so that drops him down to 3%. We can pretty much assume that the last 5 will go away soon, so their 8% is up for grabs. If Paul or Gingrich can grab that disaffected 8%, maybe they force a 4-way race?

Rick Perry -- a President who believes in secession! Could make it hard for him to take the Oath of Office.

Someone ought to tell Rick that the Articles of Confederation were actually called "The Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union." They had a specific statement that the Union of the states was, in fact, perpetual.

The United States Supreme Court ruled on the issue in the 1869 Texas v. White case.[6] In that case, the court ruled that the drafters intended the perpetuity of the Union to survive:

“By [the Articles of Confederation], the Union was solemnly declared to "be perpetual." And when these Articles were found to be inadequate to the exigencies of the country, the Constitution was ordained "to form a more perfect Union." It is difficult to convey the idea of indissoluble unity more clearly than by these words. What can be indissoluble if a perpetual Union, made more perfect, is not?"

Frozen In Time -- But Just Once

Almost 8 Years Ago

When you get to be over 45, you begin to think that nothing great happened in the past 10 years -- then you recall that even in these less awesome times some awesome things really have happened.

Courtesy of Adrianne Curry Twitter

I guess if you looked at yourself on the beach and saw this, you would be a bit hard to deal with also -- no wonder she likes to dabble in girls.

Kathy Ireland -- $150MM Net Worth

I watched "Necessary Roughness" this weekend, so I know at least half of that fortune was made there.
Let me tell you, if I had $150MM to spare to watch her do this green bikini shoot back in the day, she would have a $300MM net worth today.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Michele Bachmann -- Pal-ling Around With Terrorists

Arms dealing in Uganda -- well, if the crime is using weapons to allow black people to kill other black people, this will probably not phase Bachmann supporters one bit, and may actually imporve her status in their eyes.

More Rihanna -- To Boost Her Poll Numbers (and Your Pole Numbers)

Minka Kelly -- Dumped By Derek Jeter

I bet it was NOT while she was wearing this swimsuit.

Maybe 20 minutes after she took it off.......

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Diamond Underwear = Bruising...Down There

"Nobody wants a bruised vagina...."
Thoughts on that quote?

Rihanna Week Continues -- Possible Sex tape?

S-s-s-s M-m-m. ??? Could help or hurt her poll results.

Mike Flanagan -- Suicide?

No cause of death was given, but sources told WBAL-TV in Baltimore that Flanagan took his own life. WBAL-TV sports director Gerry Sandusky reports Flanagan was "despondent over what he considered a false perception from a community he loved of his role in the team's prolonged failure."
In 1988 or so, I heard someone describe Mike Flanagan as "a true Oriole." I guess this perception was, ultimately, his undoing. He so identified with the Orioles that their constant suckiness (except against the Twins) ruined his own self image.

RKG Photo of Rihanna

Brush with greatness.

Ri-ri not doing so great in our poll so far. Rihanna fans???

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pro-Illegal Immigrant Supporter Rick Perry Crushing GOP Rivals

Rick Perry: 33
Mitt Romney: 20
Michele Bachmann: 16
Newt Gingrich: 8
Herman Cain: 6
Ron Paul: 6
Rick Santorum: 4
Someone else/not sure: 5
Jon Huntsman: 3
(MoE: ±3.8%)

Folks, come on! Where is the vaunted GOP ability to rip one another to shreds? The bloodshed? The bitter invective? The guy (Perry) passed a state law favoring the education of illegal immigrants!?!?! Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck -- where art thou?
I guess someone forgot to tell voters how impressive Rick Santorum's 4th place finish in Iowa was.
Newt Gingrinch and Herman Cain are drawing 14% of the vote? Are there that many voters who just woke up from a 17 year coma or who love pizza that much?
Perry - trending higher. He moves one step closer to his goal of creating jobs nationwide by making every state take 4,000,000 illegal immigrants willing to do $40,000 jobs for $7 an hour.

To Help You With the Rihanna Poll

As I type this, we have 1 vote in all 4 categories.

Rihanna -- Our New Poll Question

Justin Gatlin -- Frostbite

Good lord. Guys now use cryogenic chambers instead of ice or ice baths. I guess it makes sense, but when you get stories that say "he hasn't lost any toes yet..." that seems to indicate all of the kinks haven't been completely worked out.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Rick Perry -- Just Saying It Makes It So

Governor, we have the highest teen borth rate in the country and we teach only "no sex before marriage" -- is that a good use of our money.

1) Yes.


2) It works.

No it doesn't.

3) Well, it works.

Show me one stat that shows it works.

4) I know it does.

Any stats?

5) I know from my own personal experience that abstaining works [wow, really!?!?] so maybe we are not just teaching it well.

But why are all these teenagers having babies?

6) Hey look, I know it works.

So why do we spend money on stuff that does not work.

7) Hey, we spend money on steroid testing and only catch 15 kids a year.


6.0 Quake's Epicenter is Mineral, Virginia,_Virginia

Thank goodness that I left D.C. on Monday!

This Guy --!/duresport
obviously not real concerned.

Georgetown Basketball Gets Its Ass Kicked In China

Ok, so only one guy did, but watch 22 second in where the Chinese guy is just pulling a Will Hunting on the G'town player. So much for the old 1980s G'town image of toughness.

Jon Huntsman -- Speaks Reasonably -- Guarantees That He Will Lose GOP Nomination

Actual Audio: Jon Huntsman Likes Science from scottbateman on Vimeo.

What I have never understood -- the Bible says that all people come from Adam and Eve. So, OBVIOUSLY, if you believe the Bible is 100% literal and 100% the truth, then you believe that people can evolve to look differently throughout the world. You believe that in about 6,000 years that we went from two (I guess) white people to billions of Asians and Africans and Hispanics. So.......what is the whole hangup with evolution? That it claims we evolved from a species similar to apes. Well, THAT is impossible. My wife and I giving birth to 500 million future Chinese, Somali and Brazilian families -- completely plausible.

D.C. Vacation Photo

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Rush Limbaugh Calls Obama an "Oreo"

It wouldn't be an issue, except he is the de facto leader of an entire political party, so it is kinda disturbing when GOP leaders blindly follow such a clearly racist man.
I guess Andy Dick should lobby to be the de facto leader of the Democrats?

HM's Undateable Score

Talking only about my single days (pre- May 1992).

96.Tanks & Sleeveless Ts
92.Quoting Lines From Movies
89.Sports Cliches
76. Air Guitar
70. Listening To Lite FM
60. Going Shirtless In Public
55. Busting Out Porn Too Soon
54. Biker Shorts
47. Bad Table Manners
34.Baby Talk – the most embarrassing admission
18. Tighty Whities
2. Talking About your Ex

12 out of 100 undateables. I have added several more post-marriage, but I have eliminated 96, 76, 60, 55, 54 and 34. So I am probably only equally undateable now.

100 Things That Make a Man Undateable

I remember having about 7 of them (and that is self-evaluation, I am sure the women I dated would say 10+).

Below are the 100 things that make guys "undateable" according to VH1:

100. Man Shakes
99.Blue Tooth
98.Wrong Sheets
96.Tanks & Sleeveless Ts
95.Arm Wrestling In Public
94.“The Blank –STER”
93.Vanity Plates
92.Quoting Lines From Movies
91.Unfortunate Ties
90.Cell Phone On The Waist
89.Sports Cliches
88.The Flatulence Trifecta
87.Ordering Wine @ Stadium
86.Online TMI
85.Pleated Pants
84.Embellished Jeans
83.Rearranging Junk / Butt Picking
82.Sports Jerseys
81.Dirty Car
80. Aggressive Sport Fans
79. Murses
78. Whining
77. Jorts & Japris
76. Air Guitar
75. Boners
74. Fake Swearing
73. Hawaiian Shirts
72. Overly Creative Voice Mail
71. Names For Breasts
70. Listening To Lite FM
68.Speaking In Cartoon Voice
67.Can’t Throw Ball
66.Pet Names for Penis
64.Pitted Out Shirts
62.Tap That / Hit That
61.Playing Dungeons & Dragons
60. Going Shirtless In Public
59. Owning Nunchucks
58. Bling
57. Stupid Tees
56. Bad Dancing
55. Busting Out Porn Too Soon
54. Biker Shorts
53. Talking About Video Games
52. Bro-Code
51. “Moist”
50. Leather Pants
49. Crotch Grab
48. Holiday Sweaters
47. Bad Table Manners
46. Cut Off Shorts
45. Penis Enlargement
44. Frequenting Gun Range
43. Tacky Texting
42. Chain Wallet
41. Getting Drunk On a Plane
40.Disturbing Laugh
39.Lame Pick Lines
38.Open-Mouth Breathing
37.Excessive Ed Hardy
36.Burping Loudly & Proudly
35.Owning A Van
34.Baby Talk
33.Dad Jeans
32.Hairy Back, Neck & Nose
30.Wimpy Drinker
29.Double Demin
28.Bicep & Calf Implants
27.The Pregnant Man
25. Bad Driver (Sissy/Rage)
24.Attending Geek Conventions
23.Talking in Third Person
22.Riding A Contraption
20. Guy lights/ Dyeing Your Hair
19. Bringing Glove to A Game
18. Tighty Whities
17. Bad Facial Hair
16. Gross Nails
15. Not Paying On First Date
14. Dirty Hair
13. Fur Coats
12. Bald Denial
11. Steroids
10. Creepily Into Mom
9. Excessive Waxing
8. Hocking Loogies
7. Mandals with Socks
6. The V & Other Gestures
5. Bustin’ a Sag
4. Eye/ Face lift
3. Chewing Tobacco
2. Talking About your Ex
1. The C-Word

Andy Dick and Howard Stern

Andy Dick -- Amazing Anti-Jewish-People Rant!

I heard 90% of this yesterday. It is amazing! You would think that you are in a New England private club's bar in 1960 (or in a southern bar in 2011) when you here this.
Some highlights:
"Hook-nosed Jew.
Money-grubbing Jew.
He can wrap his big fat Jewish lips around my....."
It is really amazing.
Stern's offense? 1) He gave Andy a job and later fired him; 2) he lets Andy's calls go to voice mail; and 3) he hung up on Andy after about 3 minutes during a call Stern had with Charlie Sheen.
Andy, by the way -- "I have no problem with Jews..." He is, in fact, the son of a Jewish father.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Michelle Bachmann -- Celebrates Elvis's January 8 Birthday.........Today, The Anniversary of his death

I am sorry. Come the fuck on! Who are the handlers for this gaffe-tastic woman? "Hey, today was some important day in the life of Elvis, you should say something...."
Well, I should be really joyous and celebrate loudly, I guess. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELVIS!!!"
Um, it is the day he died.
[The Bachmann campaign chooses not to respond to media inquiries]
February 2013 -- "Now, Madame President, that is the button we need to use when we have a big World War and use nukes..."
You mean this one!?!?
Do we really need as a President a Minnesota version of SNL's Gilly saying "No I didn't. No I didn't. Sorry...."

Rick Perry -- Pro-Illegal Immigrant

Reflecting the close ties of his state to Mexico, Perry is to the left of the center of gravity of the rest of the party on the issue. Most significantly, he signed a Texas version of the DREAM Act back in 2001, allowing foreign-born children of illegal immigrants to pay in-state tuition for college if they have lived in the state for three years prior to graduating high school [...]

He also opposed the Arizona immigration law. He criticized it on grounds that it would “turn law-enforcement officers into immigration officials,” and said it wouldn’t be right for Texas.

Tom Hanks Refunds Money for "Larry Crowne" Tickets

On the downside -- he is gonna meet a LOT of people who don't like the film.
On the upside -- almost no one saw it, so the pool of possible people seeking a refund is pretty small.
Family Guy line (they were referring to a different movie, but I will use Larry Crowne):
"Did you see Larry Crowne? Oh, of course you didn't. You are a person."

Rick Perry -- Texas Miracle

British Hacking Scandal -- Of Course Senior Leadership Knew

The problem for Murdoch's crew is that they didn't quite completely sew up complete control over one party of a two-party government in the U.K., so they actually are being asked to answer for what they have done. As Frankie Valli would say, "So close, but yet so far."

Michele Bachmann Mouthing a Foot Long

Noted Bachmann to hubbie Marcus Bachmann - "That is way more meat than I am used to. About 9 inches less." Careful with the teeth there, you have a long way to go yet.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Tim Pawlenty -- Quitter

I might also add "liar" since immediately after the poll Pawlenty called the result a victory and said he would continue the campaign....knowing, of course, that he intended to quit after getting his ass kicked so badly.

Some great Iowa Straw Poll factoids:

1) Michele Bachmann barely eked out a plurality of voters in an 18,000 person event, in her home state, when Mitt Romney and Rick Perry either did not appear or barely appeared. This was viewed by the media as an enormous "win."

Imagine if Rick Perry won a Texas non-binding poll by 150 out of 18,000 votes when Bachmann and Romney did not participate. Would that be hailed as a great "win" for him....or evidence that he should withdraw from the race?

2) Ron Paul almost won -- he got 27% of the vote, losing to Bachmann by 150 votes and absolutely killing Pawlenty who had outspent him by millions. The media's response? Complete and utter silence. Ron Paul has some of the most loyal hard-core libertarian followers in the world, yet because he has no appeal to the rich wing of the party (no wars and a return to the Gold Standard please) the media completely writes him off. But Bachmann? Oh, she is on her way to winning it all!

Yeah, right.

3) Rick Santorum finishes a very mediocre 4th as basically a "I am not completely insane and I sure ain't going to vote for Bachmann or crazy uncle Ronny" vote. His response? To basically declare victory.

"We are the little engine that one gave us a chance...." No one gave you a chance, Rick, had no chance. You finished a mediocre 4th.

HM, "No one ever gave me a chance when I was 25 of banging a super model. And there was a time once when a good looking girl spoke to me for no reason. She wasn't a super model, and maybe she was just being nice, but let me tell you -- no one ever gave me a chance of banging a super model, but I sure showed them!"


4) I saw the media crawl say the following, "Cain downplays talk of a Bachmann-Cain dream ticket." Uh, whose Dream Ticket is THAT!?!? This is the GOP primary folks -- do you think their completely white-male party leadership wants a 50+ year old woman and a black guy as their ticket? Their Dream Ticket is a non-Mormon Mitt Romey and an even more pliant Tim Pawlenty.

5) Will anyone ever mention that some people believe Rick Perry is gay??
Why did he used to be in favor of states rights on gay marriage?????

Friday, August 12, 2011

Indiana GOP Rep -- Same Sex Marriage, Bad; Gay Sex With 18 Year Old Male Hooker, Good.

Well, $100 and an iPad just doesn't buy silence like it used to.
At least gay hotel sex with an 18 year old didn't undo the sanctity of his marriage.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Tiger Woods -- Again Losing At the PGA to...........Rich Beem

Right now Rich only has to avoid a terrible blowup on 17 and 18 to outscore Tiger (+7) for the day and re-enact his victory over Tiger at the PGA at Hazeltine.

In Tiger's defense, Beem HAS made 4 of 17 cuts this year. So he has been pretty good.......223rd on the money list and all that.

Ryo Ishikawa -- In the Old Days, He Would Already Have Committed Hari-kari

Scorecard - Round 1

Out 4 5 6 5 5 4 3 4 4 40


4 6 5 4 4 6 5 5 6 45

85 shots

PlayercardPosition: 156 (+15)

That is damn good golf -- for me...........First Nishioka's play with the Twins and then THIS?!?!? How can Japan recover?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 top 60 ELO Rating

This is where fans can vote on the best players. There are obviously some good picks here and some bad picks here, but the list is interesting in and of itself, because it is so hard to figure out exactly where guys should be slotted exactly 1-50 or even 1-150.

I will try to keep the comments to a minimum.

1 Michael Jordan*
2 Magic Johnson*
3 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar*
4 Larry Bird*
5 Hakeem Olajuwon* -- really!?!? better player than Wilt or Russell???
6 Bill Russell*
7 Oscar Robertson*
8 Wilt Chamberlain*
9 Shaquille O'Neal
10 Tim Duncan
11.Karl Malone*
12 Jerry West*
13 David Robinson*
14 Charles Barkley*
15 John Stockton*
16 Julius Erving*
17 Elgin Baylor*
18 Kevin Garnett
19 Moses Malone*
20 Patrick Ewing*

21 LeBron James -- win in the finals and he would be top 10
22 Scottie Pippen* -- way too high, he was a better player than Kobe? Wade?
23 John Havlicek*
24 Steve Nash
25 Bob Pettit* -- look at his stats and 1st team all-NBAs, desrves to be top 12.
26 Dominique Wilkins*
27 Jason Kidd
28 Clyde Drexler*
29 Elvin Hayes*
30 Dirk Nowitzki
31 Kobe Bryant
32 Dwyane Wade
33 Chris Paul
34 Allen Iverson
35 Isiah Thomas*
36 Kevin McHale*
37 Walt Frazier*
38 Rick Barry*
39 Ray Allen
40 Paul Pierce

41 Bob Cousy*
42 Pete Maravich*
43 Dwight Howard
44 George Gervin*
45 Alex English*
46 Gary Payton
47 George Mikan* -- um, hmmm, he was a 5 time champion and the clear star of that team; they changed like 7 rules because of him- worse than Pete and Gervin?

48 Willis Reed*
49 Walt Bellamy*
50 Bob McAdoo*
51 Adrian Dantley*
52 Robert Parish*
53 Dave Cowens*
54 Grant Hill
55 Chris Webber
56 Reggie Miller
57 Tiny Archibald*
58 Jerry Lucas*
59 Artis Gilmore* -- HOF inductee 2011
60 Dennis Rodman* -- HOF inductee 2011

Other notables

61 Bob Lanier*

68 Vince Carter
79 Shawn Marion
80 Pau Gasol

81 Bill Walton*
82 Paul Arizin* old-timers always get screwed in fan votes
98 Dan Issel* -- I am extremely skeptical of the claim that Issel is a worse player than Gilmore
100 Spencer Haywood -- really!?!??
105 Manu Ginobili no Spencer Haywood
106 Jermaine O'Neal On what basis?
107 Rajon Rondo
111 Chris Bosh
112 Sam Jones* no Chris Bosh
138 Zach Randolph
139 Rasheed Wallace
148 Stephon Marbury

150 Neil Johnston* has like the 6th best PER for a career of any player -- but he is no Stephon Marbury

Shanna McLaughlin

Not sure why this pic' didn't come through on the last post. Try, try again!

Good, Good News About the Soon to Be Naked Hope Solo.

George Clooney Moves On to.......Stacy Kiebler!

Good work, George.

Shanna McLaughlin -- Gun Toting

Pippa Middelton -- Offered $6,000,000 For One Scene

It actually is $5MM for her, and they would toss in an extra $1MM for the brother.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Michele Bachmann and Marcus Bachmann Fight Migraines

"Not the Mormon, not the pussy, and certainly not the sex addict."

Pie Charts

Shakira -- Limbering Up For Golf?

God, I love Shakira! LPGA Tour -- come on, how about some sponsors' exemptions?

"Falling Skies" Finale -- Horrible

Since almost no one watches TNT's alien drama Falling Skies, I have to keep this short (b/c no one really cares) but let me just say this -- the finale was one of the worst TV shows I have ever seen.
You know how sometimes you watch a bad movie and you realize that entire huge sections of the movie have been taken out because they did not test well? Or how the plot just jumps wildly around hoping to find something people like? ("I generally hated it, but I liked how the one pretty blonde girl spoke for the aliens"). Or how it just, often mercifully, ends for no apparent reason? "Well, we got 93 minutes worth of stuff here, anyone want to write a 3 minute ending?"
Oh eff it, I guess I will have my 11 year old daughter tell me how it ends.
The Falling Skies finale had all of these things, plus (ala the really old Battlestar Galactica) a feeling that the producers simply ran out of money and couldn't make the show they wanted to make.
In the finale, our hero soldiers are supposed to join up with other groups soldiers and blow up an alien ship -- the other groups of soldiers never show up........cuz, I guess, they might be dead?
The hero soldiers continue forward in an effort to blow up the ship anyway (though they have only 1/4 of the required explosives and 3/4 of their forces are, maybe/probably, dead.
The hero soldiers assault the screen......and get blown up, sort of. 50% of the them die but the other 50% just get knocked One guy says, "I don't know why they didn't finish us off." Yeah, pretty good question.
Our non-soldier hero arrives and shoots an RPG into the alien ship, blowing up 25% of the ship.
He and an injured soldier laugh their asses off at what they just did........then drive a vehicle that was rendered inoperable by an alien attack that killed the driver....
On their way home, the head alien stops them and tells them (through the pretty blonde girl) that he admires their spunk (apparently he wasn't that impressed when the world's military lost 300,000,000 soldiers trying to fend off the initial invasion) and wants to take the non-soldier into his ship. "No thanks" -- well, if you don't do it, then we will come after your child and take him from you. "Oh, OK, I will come." So............if they could take away your son, they would have done it by now, or they would do it right now. don't want your son to be taken from you, so you leave him to go hang with aliens??????
Guy walks onto the alien ship, other guy left standing there with his dick in his hand saying, "Tom, WTF!?!?" and...........the screen goes black.
Lesson learned -- nothing.
Reality quotient -- minus 1,000,000
Logical consistency -- minus infinity.
Awful, awful, awful.

Shakira -- Good Golfer

She has a flat chest, muscular ass and great hip action -- she ought to be an awesome golfer.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Down Down 600

The markets are so concerned over U.S. debt and deficits that the markets have.........driven up the price of U.S. treasuries, thus decreasing their yield, thus making it easier and cheaper for the U.S. government to borrow money.

The idea that the U.S. has too much debt has allegedly "caused" a "flight to safety" which flight lands at.........U.S. treasury instruments, the, um, safest of all potential investments....???

The S&P downgrade is akin to me telling my brother, "Fuck you, I am only lending you 75% of the money I used to" and then my sister going out and telling her friends that I must be in financial trouble and that I am a major credit risk. What would her smart friends say? "Seems to me the person who we should be most worried about is HM's brother." In this example, I am the government, my brother is the economy and my sister is the S&P.

Obviously, as I mentioned earlier today, there is more going on here than is being reported.

One ironic note -- the Rich Wing of the GOP has used the Tea Party to stir up anti-Obama feelings and to basically flood the airwaves with resentment and hatred, so Rich Wing folks can avoid having their taxes raised from 36% to 39.6% Um, since the Tea Party brokered deficit reduction deal -- market has gone 10% -- so if I have $5,000,000 in the market, I am $500,000 poorer today. Worst use of a trained pit bull since Michael Vick.


Sinead O'Connor 2011 -- "Nothing Compares 2 Food"

It's been 7 hours and 15 days...........since she pushed her plate away....

Horrible Bosses -- Solid, Pretty Funny -- 7 3/4 out of 10.

Blake Lively........or Elizabeth Banks???

Like the eye exam -- Is 1 better, or 2? Tell me is is 3..........or 4? Or are they about the same?

Michele Bachmann v. 40 year Old Virgin Pics

What No One Wants to Say About the Debt Debate

Why would the stock market drop 1,000 points in a week after the government decided to cut its deficits by $2+trillion?
Because the government decided to spend $2 trillion+ less dollars.
Pretty easy calculus here.
Let's look at the "booming" economy of 2005-07 -- what did the average everyday person making $50K as a family do?
1) Spent $75,000 a year
2) Borrowed $25,0000 a year on the house
3) If things got tight, refinanced the house at a lower rate and took out more money.
I had people calling me at home wondering if I wanted to borrow $20,000 on my house so I could "build a deck or go on vacation..."
In 2008, people could no longer spend the $25K+ that they did not have. No one would lend it to them. That was a good idea, and it made a lot of sense not to make foolish loans, but it took 20,000,000 families and reduced their available spending by a total of $500 BILLION PER YEAR!!! They stopped buying $500B worth of shit. The economy as we know it -- collapsed.
So now the government has told us that over the next 10 years it will spend $230 billion less per year. In other words, the money available to buy shit -- gonna be reduced by about half of what was necessary to cause the last crash. And the market says............well shit, that isn't good. We were pretending that things were going to some day get back to 2005-07. They never will, will they? No effing way the Dow should be at 12,000.
So there you go. You wanted less government spending -- you got it.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Darius Miles -- Gun Toting

1) In his defense, he probably had just come from East St. Louis. This is like driving to the airport directly from your farm and not having boots on.
2) When asked for a comment, Quentin Richardson just took his fists and banged them twice against his head.

The "Unreality" of Pro Football Hall of Fame

This article appears to be written by a man far too intelligent to be a sportwriter. And I mean that as both a compliment and a rip.
The analysis is so philosophical and thought provoking that it is extremely interesting to read. The problem, of course, is that it is also meandering and really doesn't seem to have a clear premise or conclusion.
It also misses the point. The point is that Hall of Fame voting is suspect, but pro football HOF voting appears to have absolutely no legitimacy. Why is Cris Carter out and Shannon Sharpe in? Because the voters like him more. Why is Ray Guy out? Because one guy kept him out for years and years and years because the voter saw a punter in San Francisco in the 1970s who he thought was a better punter. These are the facts. Play on a great title team -- get voted in. Great player and win no titles -- minus 50 points, better hold some NFL records.
Is Roger Maris a Hall of Fame player? Obviously not. His best comparisons: Eric Davis, Dale Murphy and Darrell Strawberry. Hey, these guys were all great players and key cogs on very good teams. Davis and Murphy, it could be argued, were the best player in the game Maris.
I don't see any possible way Roger Maris had a HOF career. Should Zoilo Varsalles be in the Hall? Willie Hernandez? Eric Gagne? Orel Hershiser?
The argument made that baseball was "more important" in 1961 is an interesting claim -- certainly it wasn't to black and Hispanic players, judging by major league rosters. Baseball was "more important" could listen to it on the radio? Maybe see Maris hit 6 times during the regular season if you weren't living in New York?
Good effort on the article, but exactly where are we going with this?

Fox News -- "OK, We go Easy on Sarah Palin"

In other news:

Brooklyn Decker -- nice body
Character of Kurt on Glee -- gay
Water -- wet
Sun -- warms the earth
Chris Christie -- overweight (as previously reported)
Barack Obama -- sometimes gives in to pressure from GOP.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Can't Read A-Rod's Poker Face == He's gonna be suspended....

Can't read his, can't read his, no you can't read his poker face -- he's gonna be suspended.
A little gamblin' ain't fun when it's with he (I love it). Career Russian roulette is not the same without a gun.

Fat Boy Bryant McKinnie -- I Wanted to Be Cut!

"So there! And I am NOT fat! I weigh the morning......with one leg on the scale....resting on my other arm....which is on the sink."

Eat Your Heart Out, Jay Cutler

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Lingerie Basketball -- Where Is Jan Veseley's Girlfriend?

Randy Moss -- Quitter

If Moss is not a first ballot Hall of fame player, they need to disband the selection committee. Not voting for a guy in the top 5 in almost every receiving category because he is a prick is a personal vendetta and extremely inconsistent with the voters' obligations.
Of course, Cris Carter is still not in.