Friday, August 31, 2012

Gophers v. UNLV - All of My Tweets From Last Night/This Morning, In Reverse Order

5hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM @Skorzo60 both TDs were in OT sessions. He was terrible. 5hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Gophers win!!!! Can we play UNLV every year for a trophy? The golden bucket of shit? The stripper pole? The golden thong? 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Gopher DB allows himself to be pushed down. 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Same pass that Gray missed him on in the first quarter. 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM If UNLV wins it will be behind a QB whose QB rating cannot be 40. If the Gophs win it will be behind a QB who has missed 5 or 6 TD passes hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM *beat. 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM I know nothing about Northern Arizona, but I have 1,000 dollars on them to bet UNLV 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Announcers don't know the rules. Muffed punt into the end zone is touchback in college football. ops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM @Skorzo60 would either team score the first OT? 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM @Skorzo60 I could not have thrown that one. But I could have led Barker inside for the TD. 6hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM 2 straight guys open for TDs. 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Honest to God - Gopher punters cannot punt the ball over 30 yards. Surely there is a backup QB or wide receiver who can punt??? 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Uh, KJ. If you down it this year you get it at the 25. Ok - I volunteer to spend 18 minutes a week as special teams coach. 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM if u r Jerry Kill don't you have to be saying that with adequate QB and just OK special teams we are up 27-0?? 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Oh lord. 7hScott Korzenowski‏@Skorzo60 That's three TDs Gray has missed. This is a horror show Retweeted by Hoops Maven ps Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM 3rd touchdown pass that I would have had as QB. I am 48 and 40 pounds overweight. I can hit guys who are running open by 5 or 10 yards 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM @Skorzo60 back to my comment about no special team coach. The guy is rolling the ball down the field. Absolutely no way to stop it? 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM A full ride scholarship is available to a good college to ANYONE who can consistently punt a ball. Really, Jerry Kill, u can't find a punter 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Do the Gophers even have a special teams coach? Do they just send their players out and say "Well, do your best". ?!?!?! 7hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM @Skorzo60 Defensive backfield thus far has been adequate, not leaving guys 10 yards open. Gray is brutal. I would have thrown 2 TDs by now 8hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Gophers and UNLV setting college football back 40 years. You have the ball with 38 seconds to go and keep throwing 3 yard passes. Wow. 8hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Two runs directly into the back of the right guard and then a missed open receiver (again by 5 yards). That is Golden Gopher football. !! 9hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Gophers were last in the nation in punting last year, or as our current punter calls that "the Glory Days". 9hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Gophers offensive line unable to get any push against UNLV. Uh.....that is not a good sign. 9hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM @Skorzo60 you come out of a timeout with a play where the tight end is 5 yards open for a TD - misses it by 5 yards. hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Gopher d line non-existent again. 9hHoops Maven‏@HoopsMavenHM Well - at least it wasn't a pick 6. Marqueis Gray as a QB?? Still awful. en‏@HoopsMavenHM Minnesota Golden Gophers - mental mistake on opening kickoff return. Grey start guys. #minn_unlv

Thursday, August 30, 2012

More Paul Ryan

Paul Ryan - Liar

The GOP Playbook:

1) Shore up the wealthy vote with tax cuts and programs to benefit the ultra-wealthy.

1A) Throw out as many false statements as you can to see if any of them are popular with your idiot "base"  (i.e., the people who vote against their own best interest).

2) If ANY of the lies tests well, just keep repeating it/them.

3) If someone brings up the fact that you are lying repeatedly and that the facts just don't support what you claim, then:

a) Say the lie again;
b) Say, "No.  It is true."
c) Attack the source - "Sure I lied, but are you gonna listen to...."
d) Say you cannot believe how biased the media is against you

4) If all of the #3 stuff fails, go with, "Well, the other side lies all of the time, too!"  (Do not state any specific lies that they engage in, just say there are so many that you cannot POSSIBLY list them all).

I remember discussing Bill Clinton with my right-wing brother-in-law.  He HATED Clinton because Clinton, "Lies all of the time." It was rather apparent to me that the GOP hated Clinton so much because he did exactly what they did, yet he was better at it.  This, by the by, is why the liberal wing of the Dems hated Clinton so much - he played to win and win at all costs.  As a campaigner, he was basically a Republican.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Courtney Stodden Receiving Porn Offers.
As predicted.

TMZ obtained a copy of the script, which contains the following line for Courtney:

"I may be young but I can s*** a d*** like a much, MUCH more experienced s***. I’ll d*** t**** it, l*** his b****, do whatever I gotta do to get that m**** l*** all on my f***."

I think that the final three censored words rhyme with "silky toad" and "mace."  But I really cannot be sure.

Ann Romney Fell In Love With Mitt Because..........He Was Tall, And Awkward

So, she would have fallen 50% in love with me.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Mitt Romney - The Do Over

Christina Aguilera - the Good Old Days

There are some 8s and 9s out of 10 rated shots here.  My goodness have the years been unkind....

Gabe Kaplan Destroys Robert Conrad In a Foot Race

Go to a Strip Club - Help Rape Victims

Friday, August 24, 2012

Babysitter Picture

Do search for "babysitter" and you get this image:

My mom and dad never seemed to come up with THIS as an alternative!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Prince Harry Vegas Pic

Mitt Romney's Secret Investment

We have a few now - hidden in a dizzying array of off-shore accounts to avoid tax.

He loves America; he just doesn't think people should invest or pay taxes here.

Texas Judge Promises to Fight Invading United Nations Force Led By Obama


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

"The Office" In Its Final Season

As a huge fan of "The Office", I say, "Thank God!"

The show never got over the loss of Michael Scott, and it is time simply to close the branch, or allow it to just exist without us watching.

Ed Helms - solid, but no Steve Carrell.

Swingers Start Swinging!


Shaq's 61 Point and 23 Rebound Game

For a rundown, go to my Twitter at

Friday, August 17, 2012

Paul Ryan's Letters Begging for Stimulus Funds.
which he did not ever send, OK, he did, but merely as a constituent service, but not because he really wanted the constituent to get the money, or knew it came from stimulus funds.  And anyway, Obama was taking the country the wrong way on stimulus anyway, so what does it matter WHAT Paul Ryan did??

My former college mentor.

He never gave ME any free trips!!!

(I was recommended to him as a LinkedIn "connection" - um, glad I didn't make THAT one!

Evidence that Almost No One Photographs well in Yoga Pants

That said - Jordana Brewster, nice!  She makes guys think about using their own "Fast Five" on themselves.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Coach K and LeBron

I think the best quote is LeBron's when he was asked what would happen if USA basketball loses - "I am not allowed to lose."


If you KNEW at the beginning of the year that he would only throw 160-180 innings, and not one inning more, then why did you not figure out how to create a routine where he could make it through the whole season?

OK, Strasburg will only go 160-180, so assume he gets 6 a start, then we can use him for 30 starts.

He will pitch every 6 days starting May 1.  By October 5, he would have 26 starts, probably around 152 innings.  He then can pitch some in the playoffs....or if we do not make it, then he doesn't pitch.

My Summary of All Peter Kostis Interviews With Tiger Woods When He Loses

Peter Kostis - "You are so awesome, Tiger Woods, can I blow you?"

Tiger Woods - No.

PK -- "Well, OK then, I'm disappointed but.....Anyway, dude, how can it be that you are so effing great but then someone else wins?  WTF?"

Tiger - I was pretty effing great, wasn't I?  Circumstances outside my control.  Plus I let the other guy win.  That is a bad habit I have.  Too relaxed.

PK -- "Anything else, oh Great Calablasian overlord?"

Tiger - Yeah, I have been playing really, really good golf and I generally kick ass.

PK - "That you do, buddy.  Awesome, awesome play all week.  It is awful that they didn't give you the trophy.  I am still available for that thing I discussed earlier."

Tiger - Into girls still, Peter.  Still into girls.

PK - "Well, there you have it.  Tiger Woods, ladies and gentlemen!"

James Harden Dancing With Olympic mascot Mandeville

Fortunately he didn't bring out Wenlock, who looks just like a penis....

McKayla Not Impressed

Call me quirky, but I enjoy this meme.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Howard Trade

You should also make sure you go to the bottom to read the comments, as one guy points out that Harrington and Turkoglu have team buyout options.

Philly gets

Bynum and JRich


Iggy and Vucevic and Harkless

Grade:  Philly, if they can re-sign Bynum, gets an A.  They weren't going anywehere with Iggy, and they got a top 25 NBA player who is big and young for an aging star and a bunch of throw ins.

Denver Gets

for Picks, Al Harrington, and Aaron Afflalo

I am not really sure what the picks are, or how they are protected, but unless they are high unprotected #1s, Denver wins this trade.  Iggy is a top 30 player, and the guys they gave up are barely top 100.

Grade - A minus (Iggy isn't as great as he is looking at the Olympics, but they got an upgrade).

Lakers get:
Dwight Howard, Earl Clark, Chris Duhon


Bynum, I think that is it.

So, ya got a better player with a better upside to play on a better team. 

Grade:  B = since I do not know Howard's health situation, and the rumor is that he is unwilling to sign an extension as part of the trade.  But certainly worth a try, and they somehow kept Gasol.

Magic get:
Afflalo, Harrington, Vucevic, Moe Harkless, 3 #1s, and a 2nd rounder

Give up = Howard and JRich.

When you receive no one back in a trade who is as good as either guy you trade, that should be a huge red flag to you.  So, give me 3 guys ranked between 80-150 in the league, one unproven guy, and I would guess a bunch of protected #1s.  What would I honestly give you for that?  Probably like Nikola Pekovic.  There are teams (for example, the Lakers) who would not even WANT the 4 guys because they can get guys to come in off the street and play for them and better prices who are better (Nash, World Peace, Jamison).

Orlando Grade - F.  You traded a top 12 NBA player (some would argue as high as top 5) and you recieved basically everyone else's trash.  If they got unprotected #1s, I could up their grade to maybe D or D+.

(When the other three teams get A, A minus, and B, someone had to get taken - it was Orlando).

Dwight Howard to the Lakers

I am SOOOOOO glad that we had an NBA lockout so that large market clubs could no longer acquire all of the young free agent superstars that the league has to offer and take them away from smaller market clubs.

Thank goodness that all happened.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

U.S. Will Be Ahead of China at the End of August 8.

Of course i imagine we are gonna see a flood of rhythmic gymnastics and diving results some time soon where China hauls in 10 golds, but as of today, that is not happening.

Two beach volleyball medals assured tonight - so suck on that China.


Tim Allen - A Tribute

He was a Facebook friend and I followed him on Twitter.  He was a great Timberwolves fan.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

RIP Dan Roundfield - Drowns But Saves His Wife

Players like Dan Roundfield - Buck Williams, Larry Nance.  I am trying to think of a more modern example - Charles Oakley, Horace Grant.  Today?   I will need to look it up.  OK:

Kirilenko, and Gerald Wallace, maybe a young Kenyon Martin.  He was a poor man's Kevin Garnett.

Tanking In Badminton? Thrown Out of Games. Spain and Brazil Tanking in Basketball? That's OK.

Like the badminton match, both teams tried to lose, but only one could.

I am sure that FIBA will kick Spain and Brazil out of the tourney and replace them with England and Tunisia for the quarterfinals, right???  Right????

Monday, August 06, 2012

USA Soccer Wins 4-3 Behind Alex Morgan

Which, coincidentally, is where most virile hetero American males would want to be.

Miranda Kerr NSFW - "You Could Put an Eye Out With Those Things"

My goodness, I hope that it was like 20 degree in there, or I dread to imagine how pointy things could actually become.

The Moral of the Story - Always Buy Cocaine From the Guy Outside the Low-End Strip Club

If the guy had $1,000 on him, why in the world would he be at Dream Girls?  I guess maybe they are open the latest?  Maybe you spend the $5 on the cab?

The crook should at least maintain one consistent story.

Friday, August 03, 2012

Jenna Jameson - Loves Mitt Romney

I am sure she would be willing to do some Mormon-flavored porn to help the cause as a fund raiser....maybe she could remake "Hard Evidence" or "Convention Cuties" with a Mormon spin?


Since 3 women tied with a time of 25.28 seconds in separate heats, they held a qualification swim-off this morning in the Women's 50 freestyle - remarkably, all 3 women showed up and actually participated.

I guess it is possible to overcome the metal stress of a tie and actually participate in the tiebreaker after all.....

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

LeBron James - Shut Down....By Lauren Perdue

Badminton Tanking

It is really as bad as you would imagine.

Courtney Stodden Turns 18 This Month

Porn producers throughout the world are counting down the days.

Badminton Tanking Teams Disqualified

I really need to find and view this footage.  Players hitting serves intentionally into the rally longer than 4 strokes.  Wild, wild stuff. 

One player should have played hard for 10 points and then come down with an "injury" and defaulted - similar to how a golfer who shoots 85 in the first round always come down with a "wrist injury."