Wednesday, July 31, 2013

NBA's first scorer dies at Age 94

As high school teammates, Steve Nash and Derek Fisher will be at the funeral.

Well, I Guess Almost Dying Is Worth $4.1M

Less attorneys' fees....

Tried to scratch, "Sorry Mom" in his arm with his eyeglasses....

Republican States and Their "Family Values" - Married Three or More Times? More Likely In A Red State

Mitt Romney won 24 states in the 2012 Election.  Of the top 25 states for "highest percentage married 3+ times," 19 are states voting for Romney, including 16 of the top 19 (84%)!!!

Extra credit is you can quickly identify the 5 Romney-voting states that are NOT in the top 25.

The list (with the Dem states in bold):
1         Arkansas t  7.55%
 2  Oklahoma t  7.33%   
3  Idaho t  6.28%    
4  Alabama t  6.00%   
5  Tennessee t  5.99% 
6  Wyoming t  5.85%    
7  Kentucky t  5.72%    
8  Nevada t  5.51%    
9  Oregon t  5.29%    
10  West Virginia t  5.03%    
11  Mississippi t  4.98%    
12  Missouri t  4.97%    
13  Indiana t  4.91%    
14  Kansas t  4.76%    
15  Florida t  4.69%    
16  Arizona t  4.61%   
17  Alaska t  4.56%    
18  Montana t  4.49%   
19  Georgia t  4.38%    
20  Washington t  4.29%    
21  Texas t  4.18%    
22  Maine t  4.17%   
23  New Mexico t  4.04%   
24  Utah t  4.02%    
25  South Carolina t  3.99%    


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Weiner Asked "Are You Currently Sexting Anyone"? Won't Answer.

Wow.  Sidney Leathers told Howard Stern this morning that Weiner would call her to jack off 5 or more times a day.  He has a wife who is pissed at him.  He hasn't stopped feeding that habit.

Another highlight of the Stern interview -- Weiner used to name his dick pictures (for example, one was "For Syd".

The guy needs some serious help.....or a career in porn....

Christina Aguilera July 2013

Sydney Leathers - Ewwww, NOT Hot...


Monday, July 29, 2013

Weiner Drooping, Falis to Measure Up

16% of Democratic primary voters would still vote for the guy.  Wow.

Corey Brewer - And the Other 5 Worst Long-Term Minnesota Timberwolves of all-time

Since I didn't want all of the work of sorting through 10-12-14 suckmeisters, I had the computer do my work and sorted only by the worst of the worst:

4000+ career Timberwolves minutes, PER under 13, less than 10 Win Shares, less than .08 Win Shares per 48.

6 Names.

6th Worst -- Randy Breuer.  Breuer was pretty bad by the time he reached the Wolves, so bad that he was traded for Brad Lohaus, but when you match him up against other suckwad Wolves, he is pretty clearly the best.
8 total points (3rd fewest games played, best PER, 2nd best WS and WS/48)

5th Worst - Marko Jaric
Again, no denying he was terrible, but of this list he was #1 in WS and WS/48 (10 total points)

4th Worst - Rashad McCants
Shaddy might have done even better but for the fact that he played 225 games for the Wolves, thus giving him 5 points in that category (I mark down for more games played - you had longer not to suck and still sucked)\
(13 total points)

3rd Worst - tie

2nd Worst -- Sebastian Telfair and Chuck Person
Wow.  How awful were these guys as Timberwolves?  Well, consider this:  the only major difference between them and the top guy is that they played far fewer games as Wolves, so they get a better score in that category.  But Person and Telfair are last and next to last in total Win Shares, and last and 3rd to last in WS/48.  They were truly awful.
(16 total points)

THE WORST - Corey Brewer
For those of you who wonder why I despise Corey Brewer since he is a nice guy and tries hard, here you go.
He played 232 games and 5954 minutes as a Wolf - the most of anyone on the list.  His PER was 10.5 - the worst of any guy on the list. 
Marko Jaric played 104 fewer minutes as a Wolf and had over 3 times as many Win Shares.  Randy Breuer and Rashad McCants played over 1,300 fewer minutes than CBrew.  McCants had 50% more Win Shares, Breuer more than doubled CBrew's Win Shares. 

Marko Jaric's WS/48 were THREE TIMES that of CBrew!!!!  Chuck Person and Sebastian Telfair, almost certainly, rolled up 0 defensive win shares as a Wolf (I saw them play, I don't need to look it up).  STILL they had almost the same WS/48 as CBrew!

So welcome back, CBrew, a year or two at even a mediocre rate of play may vault you above Person and Telfair and into becoming only the 3rd worst Wolf of all-time.  And for that effort, you will be paid $15,000,000.

Friday, July 26, 2013

The 10 Best Minnesota Timberwolves of All Time; a Statistical Analysis

I sorted by VERY minimal criteria.  4000 minutes played as a Wolf, a PER as a Wolf of at least 15 (league average), and total Timberwolf Win Shares of 10 career Win Shares or more.

I also looked at Win Shares Per 48.

Here you go:

Of the Guys Who Qualify,

Most Games Played:
Wally Szczerbiak
Kevin Love
Joe Smith
Pooh Richardson
Terry Porter
Tony Campbell
Craig Smith
Tom Gugliotta

Best PER
Al Jefferson
Sam Cassell
Terrell Brandon
Micheal Williams
Christian Laettner
Pooh Richardson

By Total Win Shares as a Wolf
Wally Szczerbiak
Kevin Love
Terrell Brandon
Tom Gugliotta
Joe Smith
Al Jefferson
Sam Cassell
Pooh Richardson

By Win Shares Per 48 as a Wolf
Joe Smith
Micheal Williams
Al Jefferson

Assign 10 points for a first-place finish, down to 1 point for a 10th place finish:

10th Best Wolf - Tie With 9th
9th Place Wolves - Tom Gugliotta and Nikola Pekovic (9 total points)

8th - tied with 7th
7th best Wolves - Christian Laettner and Al Jefferson (12 total points)

6th best Wolf - Joe Smith (14 total points)

5th best Wolf - Sam Cassell (18 total points)

4th best Wolf - Terrell Brandon (20 total points)

3rd best Wolf - Wally Szczerbiak (23 total points)

2nd best Wolf - Kevin Love (33 total points)

Best Ever Wolf - Kevin Garnett, with a perfect score of 40 points.

The saddest thing about the list is Joe Smith's high ranking, as well as the really minimal amount of time that most of these guys spent as Wolves, yet still are top 10 all-time.

11th through 15th (guys registering at least 1 appearance on one of the 4 lists):

11- Pooh Richardson
12 - Micheal Williams
13 - Terry Porter
14th and 15th - tie between Tony Campbell and Chauncey Billups.

There ya go.

It isn't exactly Magic, Wilt, Mikan, Kareem, Shaq, and Jerry West, is it?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Summer Movie Flops - Why They Failed

I do not know what sort of focus groups the movie industry does, but let me offer a real basic thought -- if I look at a trailer and say, "That looks ridiculously stupid" you should have never produced the movie.  I am willing to give basically anything the benefit of the doubt, but here are some real basic thoughts from watching trailers of these flops:

White House Down - how many times has this been done in the past 5 years?  You could even throw in Michael Scott's classic "Threat Level Midnight" where the President (played by Darrell Philbin) gets shot at.

Pacific Rim - fake Transformers, plus I don't see any hot chick in the trailer that I would like to watch.  Look, Transformers is a guilty pleasure.  I may enjoy Friends, but not any of the 15 fake Friends shows that followed.  I just need one.

After Earth -- so Jaden Smith is a little wussy kid and his dad is getting too old to do action films on his own?  Is that the actual plot of the movie?  Would that it were so - the actual plot is they crash land on Earth which was deserted 10,000 years prior because everything on earth ate with no humans for the past 10,000 years?  The Earth things still are programmed to eat humans.

The Lone Ranger - who was calling for this?  People who watched TV in 1957?  I am almost 50, and I never watched The Lone Ranger.  And if you are going to have "The Lone Ranger starring Johnny Depp" shouldn't he be The Lone Ranger?   We need the guy from "Mirror Mirror?"  Who was clamoring for that?  ("You know, the Winklevoss Twins will make a great hero...)....There is talk of casting Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a movie version of Guys and Dolls.  Tatum to be cast as........Nathan Detroit???  The sort of bumbling affable doofus character who has strung his girlfriend along for 14 years?  A guy once played by Oliver Platt?  That is Channing Tatum?  And the "cool and hunky" character will be played by JGL - the guy from 500 Days of Summer?  Tommy from 3rd Rock From the Sun?  The cancer victim from 50-50?  The male Renee Zellweger (open your eyes son, open your eyes)? 

moving on.

RIPD -- um, so they die and then have to go back to earth in the bodies of an old Chinese guy and Marissa Miller?  To....what?  Catch ghosts?  Something like that?  If you have the power to reincarnate someone's dead energy and return it to earth looking like Marissa Miller, wouldn't you just toss down a thunderbolt and kill the ghosts yourself?

Men In Black meets that Albert Brooks movie where he is dead meets Ellen Barkin in "Switch" meets an all-white-colored death world that looks like a Progressive Insurance commercial.

Does no one ever do some basic focus groups showing the movie trailer?  Hey, folks, describe "Pacific Rim" in 2 words - "Fake Transformers".  What do you think of The Lone Ranger?  "Why isn't Depp the Ranger?  RIPD, "I don't follow the story arc here." (a little Family Guy reference).

After Earth, folks, thoughts?  "Yuck."

It isn't exactly brain surgery here - make a fake trailer, show the trailer to a few people and
say, "Thoughts?" 

Is Phil Mickelson a Top 10 All-time Golfer?

This article says yes.

I love me some Phil (despite his whining about his taxes, which may be justified if he played only in the UK -- ).

But I have to say that right now he needs either 55 PGA tour wins or 2 more majors to have a top 10 career.

There are 13 guys with more major wins than Phil:

Walter Hagen
Ben Hogan
Gary Player
Tom Watson
Gene Sarazen
Arnold Palmer
Sam Snead
Bobby Jones
Harry Vardon
Lee Trevino
Nick Faldo.

Phil's 42 total PGA victories does rank him 9th all-time (Snead, Tiger, Jack, Hogan, Palmer, Byron Nelson, Billy Casper, Walter Hagen, then Phil).

I don't think Phil has any claim whatsoever to be top 8, which I would say is:


That means Phil is clumped in with the next group of 8:
Watson, Palmer, Vardon, Trevino, Faldo, Phil, Byron Nelson, Billy Casper

Phil could be ranked as low as 16 or as high as 9.  While Phil certainly has Arnold Palmer-like characteristics, it seems unfair to say he is better since Arnold has both more total victories and total majors.  Tom Watson played a lot against Jack, and had only 3 fewer total victories and 3 more majors than Phil.  So I think he needs to be top 10.

My analysis leaves Phil fighting hard for 11th with Trevino and Byron Nelson.  I think Phil has had a better career than Faldo and I am unwilling to harken back to the dark days of golf and analyze Harry Vardon's greatness or lack thereof, so I will go with Phil there.  Billy Casper had only 3 majors.  I will go with Phil there, although I can see an argument the other way.

So how would I get Phil in the top 10 with 55 victories or 7 majors?  Well, 55 wins would put Phil in the top 6 all-time in wins.  7 majors would move him into the top 10 in both major wins and total wins - it would be hard to say that he was not a top 10 player.  Who would suffer the drop down to 11?  I would say Tom Watson.  He only had 39 total victories, so if Phil got to 55, he would dwarf Watson.  At 7 majors, Phil would be only 1 behind Watson and have more total wins and 5 of Watson's 8 came at one major (the British).

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Shrek Maple Grove

Shrek the Musical will be at Maple Grove High School June 25-28 and August 1-3. 

Friday, July 19, 2013


Play the music while reading the article.

I have always thought that the best way to save Detroit and Buffalo would be to allow them to simply erase the international border between them and Canada.  Make one giant mega-city.  Sadly, it would be like carrying your drunken friend home when you are less drunk - either you end up helping him, or he ends up basically bringing you down to his level. 

As a Buffalo-area native, I am sad for Detroit, but happy Buffalo didn't beat them to the punch of bankruptcy.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Old Footage of Me Out At the College Bars

Michelle Jenneke

Michelle Jenneke Pic - Good God

Click for larger pic

The 2013 Emmy Nominees -- AKA "The Cable ACE Awards"

About 5 million people watch "Game of Thrones".  2.8 million people watched the finale of  "Breaking Bad."

How few people watch these "great" shows -- well, in summer rerun season, Game of Thrones' best numbers would equal "Masterchef" and come in about 15th.  Breaking Bad's numbers would get it immediately canceled.

Not to say that these are not good shows, but it hardly helps Emmy viewership when basically no one at home has ever seen the proposed winners.

Kelsey Grammer won for "Boss" - weekly viewership - around 900,000

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Rachel Bilson Temporary Tattoo

Or at least I hope that is the case.  Nothing says low-end stripper more than a bunch of brightly colored star tattoos!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Cory Monteith - Overdose


Giorgi Dieng's Summer League game stats - Historically Awful

11 minutes, minus 8, 0 points, 1 rebound, 4 fouls, 5 turnovers. go to and plug in those figures. There have been under 10 regular season games since 1985 that have featured 0 points, 1 or fewer rebounds, 4 fouls and 5 turnovers. Most have been by bad point guards. Congrats, Timberwolves! Rookies looking awesome.

Wilt Chamberlain Video - You will Need to Hit Full Screen Mode

Note to Black Teenagers - Um, Do Your Best Out There,33125/

Shabazz Muhammed's Work In a 2-Point Loss

22 minutes - played forward (when drafted, they claimed he was an off guard), Minus 13, 3 for 13 from the floor, 1 for 5 from 3, 1 for 5 from the line, 8 points.

Here is a more concerning note - I actually watched the game highlights.  He got open on a cut off a screen and got a dunk - he is 6'5" - he could barely clear the rim to dunk.  After dunking, he ran to the other end, looking like the current version of me in a pickup game.  Huffing, puffing, straining for air.

With the game tied and 7 seconds to play, the Wolves went to him in the corner.  Not only did he fail to get a shot off, he tried a "rip through" move and was stripped of the ball. 

So.........poor shooting, out of shape, cannot handle the ball, undersized for his position, and the Wolves were +11 when he was on the bench, -13 when he played.


Monday, July 15, 2013

Michele Bachmann - Time to Take Away Obama's "Magic Wand" By "Spanking" Him

Certain things are tough.  For example, it is difficult to be a woman married to a gay man.

Another (completely unrelated) example - it must be tough to dream about a powerful mixed-race Mandingo fantasy guy having sex with you with his magic wand.  Maybe you want to engage in some kinky behavior with said powerful man.  So you say - uh, we need to spank HIM (since he always spanks us.......well, not us........but those filthy slutty under-30 Latinas whom he just lets do whatever they want, including VOTE).

This is a whole bunch of crazy here, but there is SOOOOOOOOOOOO much sexual need here from Michele - so much need.  It is scary.  Someone get the woman a corn dog.

Well, At Least She Said "Foook"


Thought nothing of saying "We too low" was one of the flight crew.

April Rose Star of Grown Ups 2

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Say What You Will About Grown Ups 2 and I will reply

April Rose, Aly Michalka, Paulina Gretzsky, Salma Hayek.  

And again - April Rose.   Wow.

Friday, July 12, 2013

The Minnesota Timberwolves' Off Season - From a 24 Year Season Ticket Holder

               Grade “A” Move:

-          Sign Budinger – good idea.  He may never be a good defensive player, and he may always be hurt, but if he can find a way to play 20 minutes a night for 80 games he is a high-end shooter.  If healthy, he could be a JJ Redick type of player.


Grade “B” moves:

-          Re-sign Pek - $12.5 per, pretty much where I figured he would end up.  You have to keep your starting players, and a good NBA starter draws $10M, so slight overpay, but not awful

-          Get Kevin Martin for about $7M per year – he is a $10M player who is always hurt, so if he plays 70% of the games (about 60) and plays well, he is a good deal.  If he plays less or ceases to play well, he will be a big contract hit.

-          I liked the departure of Greg Stiemsma for $0.


Grade C Move:

Turiaf is a veteran and brings some toughness.  Maybe he can teach Love how to play some interior D?  Despite being roughly Love’s height, Turiaf in one season probably blocked more shots than Love has in his entire career.  10-12 minute a game bench guy and looks to be a guy who might bring toughness and attitude.


Grade D Move:

 Shabazz Muhammed – the Kings got the #1 talent in the draft at #7, the Wolves were sitting at #9, did nothing to move up, and ended up trading down to get a guy who their GM has stated he did not want.  Awesome work guys.


Grade F Moves:

Picking Dieng over Mason Plumlee.  As a Duke guy, I can tell you that I watch a TON of Duke basketball.  Mason Plumlee is one of the few guys I looked at as a Duke player and said, “yep, he will be an NBA player.”  Tremendous athlete, great ball handler, just a huge, huge upside as a player.  His brother Miles was a TERRIBLE player at Duke.  When he was selected in the first round I was astounded – he blows.  Mason, on the other hand, should have been a top 12 pick. 

Giorgi Dieng weighs about 220 pounds despite being almost 24 years old.  He is shorter, slower, weaker, and a lower-skilled basketball player than Mason Plumlee.  How you make that selection is truly baffling.  Do you sit around and say, “We need an skinny shotblocker who is a cipher offensively”?  If so, why not pick Tyrus Thomas up for nothing?

CBrew – I have no interest in reliving the CBrew glory days.  One of the horrible weaknesses of the Wolves as a franchise is that they try so hard to acquire “fan favorites” who are hard working guys who will bust their ass for the fan base.  I do not want “fan favorite” players; I would prefer good players.  I would suggest that the Wolves simply sign “fan favorite” guys like Flynn, Madsen, Brewer, etc. to personal services contracts where they can do appearances and never play or take up a roster spot.  I would HOPE that they would be able to get these guys for under $15M.    Please, please, please stop trying to acquire guys like CBrew.  If you are going to waste $15M, take a flyer on Al Farouq Aminu, who is young and who has at least exhibited some upside potential. 

Oh No! You Can Get Sued For Gaining Weight!

Time for me to start moving some money into exempt assets.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Wolves Summer League Early Report (Not mine)

On the court, the Wolves got up and down the floor scrimmaging at the end of Wednesday’s second practice. Of note:

John Holland—the Boston University product who played in Spain last year—hit a couple long jumpers and looked locked in during his offensive sets.

Shved impressed Muhammad with his passing ability, something that was definitely noted by his Wolves teammates during his rookie season.

And Luke Sikma, who showcased his energy a year ago during the 2012 Summer League, showed that same energy early on attacking the offensive glass.

My comment - Muhammed was not surprised with how WELL Shved passed, but rather simply by the fact that anyone would willingly pass the ball (Shabazz < 1 assist per game at UCLA).

My comment - this John Holland does not resemble the guy I know of the same name:

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

More Gandolfini

So the son got a non-taxable $7M life insurance payout, and the wife and son (the wife is not the son's mom) both got some non-taxable trust money.

The tax is payable BEFORE the wife gets the 20%.  So the tax is on the whole $70M minus the $5.5 exemption.  If that is $30, the wife then gets 20% of $40M, not 20% of $70M.
I REALLY enjoy the advice to the sisters that they should renounce their share of the money so it can all go to the wife tax-free.  Andy Dufresne, "Do you trust your [sister-in-law]?"  Cuz you will be giving her $56M and taking nothing, but it will keep the government from getting $30M.  I am sure she will gift you back the $32M you otherwise would have received.........Right....hello??

The Late James Gandolfini Helps Out Federal and State Budget Deficits!slide=41436

OK, so it cost his heirs around $30,000,000 (if he had a $70,000,000 estate and had his full $5.5M exemption and gave 20% to his wife, assuming the wife's comes after the exemption, that gives him a 55% tax bill on about $51M - so about $28.05M). 

You have to hand it to the guy for (accidentally) helping out the budget deficits of both the U.S. and (I would assume) New York state!!!

Patriotic taxpayers, my friends, are what makes this country great.

Serious question though -- as noted in the article, there are so many ways to avoid the estate tax (leave to your wife, leave in a QTIP trust, provide a multimillion dollar life insurance policy), how come the estate tax always comes up as a big Republican Party talking point?   Are there that many single people out there who are multimillionaires?  Are there that many married people who cannot obtain qualified estate planning attorneys?  Is it just that the rich GOP folk are tired of shelling out like $10,000 for a competent lawyer (my will and trust cost me $1,500, my parents' cost them like $900).  Isn't the whole estate tax war just an enormous waste of time?

Billionaire Steve Forbes once ran for President and suggested a flat tax (I don't recall the rate, let's say 14%).  When asked by the interviewer whether he was just proposing that 14% rate to lower his taxes, Forbes said, "I do just fine under the current system; don't worry about me."  In other words - I don't pay any taxes anyway, I have lawyers and accountants.

Gandolfini's advisors did not seem to have quite the same motivation or directive as Forbes' advisors.

Brandi Glanville Drunk Pic

Here is what I am trying to figure out -- sure you go out and you go to three bars and you weigh 105 pounds (10 of which is saline baggies) but....when she wasn't drunk, was she just walking around with a see-through bottom and a black thong?  I mean, it is not like on "The Office" where Meredith's outfit just fell down or rode up, this outfit would, seemingly, NEVER be appropriate in any venue.....
How drunk was she?  She tries to French kiss the guy in the pic, who rejects her, because he is gay....

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

12 Things That Annoy Logical People

I do #11.

I would say that both political parties are great at the one where you exaggerate your opponent's argument to make it look terrible:

GOP example -- Gay Marriage?  "Well, I guess when tomorrow your side says that your kids are allowed to marry your dog and each other then you will be sorry."

Dem example -- Cut $30/month off Social Security benefits?  "My God!  Well, I guess when tomorrow you are going to force every old person in the U.S. to eat only cat food, then you will finally be happy....."

Monday, July 01, 2013

Pelicans Offer Tyreke Evans 4 years and $44M

Here is the funny thing - player most similar to Tyreke Evans for Win Shares?  Jrue Holiday.

Player most similar to Eric Gordon for Win Shares?  Jrue Holiday.

Player top 5 similar to Tyreke Evans for Win Shares?  Eric Gordon.

I guess that Pelicans management REALLY loves that type of oft-injured guard!!

Will the Sac Kings match?  Probably.  When you are in an outpost like MN or Sacto, you really cannot afford to let your young starters leave for nothing.

NBA Free Agent Signing Board

If you wonder why teams shouldn't give up on players with at least SOME potential (cough, Derrick Williams, cough), then look at this board -- 19th best guy on the board:  Andrei Kirilenko.  31st best guy on the board - Corey Brewer.  33rd?  Al Farouq-Aminu.

Derrick Williams has a 14.5 PER and 3 Win Shares.  He slightly improved last year.  Will he EVER be worthy of the #2 pick in the draft?  Probably not, but should you just toss him away for nothing?  I would say no - because your other option is to go out and fight on the free agent market for guys who are pretty much the same guy as DWill.

Look at Jarrett Jack, Monta Ellis, JJ Redick - their advnace stats are not substantially better than DWill's and Ellis (for example) just opted OUT of a $11M guarantee for this year!!

How Good Is Tyus Jones? Damn Good, and Way Better Than Any Gopher

While the opponent here is not exactly playing San Antonio Spurs-like defense, one thing is for certain:  if you put Andre Hollins, Maverick Ahanmisi, Rodney Williams, Mo Walker and Tyus Jones on the floor together, who will be the best guy?  Oh - and I think Malik Smith is out there also.

Answer - Tyus.  More accurate answer - Tyus, and by a mile.