Three other highlights:
1) Opposing counsel is making some stupid cross-examination inquiry. Something like, "Hey, didn't that REALLY bother you?" It bothered me. "How about REALLY bothered you?" I wouldn't say that. "Well, how could it bother you and not REALLY bother you?" Judge looks over at me with the face of "I want you to object" I roll my eyes and give him the palms up shrug like "it will be over soon and he isn't getting anywhere."
2) Judge is mad that we are going to call their witnesses by deposition and then they are going to bring these same witnesses LATER in the case and call them in their own case. "Why can't you people work this out?" Me -- Judge, I asked them to produce these witnesses for my case, they refused, obviously hoping that I wouldn't read their depositions and hoping that would cause you to grant directed verdict. I cannot just not present them, but, your honor, this is not my fault."
Turns to opposing counsel -- "Is that true?" Reply -- I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM OF HM's FAILED LITIGATION STRATEGY. IF HE WANTS TO BORE THE JURY TO TEARS, HE MAY. HE WASN'T SMART ENOUGH TO VIDEOTAPE THEIR DEPOSITIONS!!!! AND YES, I INTEND TO WIN A DIRECTED VERDICT MOTION! (it was stated very angrily, as if typed in all caps).
Judge goes off. 1) You as an attorney are supposed to work things out; 2) now I have to read all of these depos, 3) I can assure you that you aren't going to win a directed verdict motion, so don't fool yourself.
I guess it wasn't me who engaged in failed litigation strategy.
3) Other side's obsession with deposition testimony was bizarre. They'd ask things of people in depo that they had no foundation for and then bring it up at trial. Example -- "do you bill to the 1/100th of an hour?" Yes. "Your depo says you don't." Redirect - "are these 400 invoices where you billed to the 1/100th of an hour? Yes."
It was like watching a robot conduct cross examination -- Mr. HM, are you overweight? "Yes." Here in your depo, you say you are not! "Well, you can just look at me and see that I am" BUT YOUR DEPO!! YOUR DEPO!!!!
Perhaps gear that back a little? Jurors are not morons.