Thursday, June 11, 2015

Nearly 5 Years Have Passed -- Let's Relive Dan Gilbert's Letter Regarding LeBron -- Annotated By HM

Note 1 -- I don't have the ridiculous font Gilbert used.


In July of 2010m Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert posted this letter on the team's website after LeBron James' announcement he was leaving for the Miami Heat.

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

Note 2 -- As of that moment there were a lot of "Cavaliers Supporters" outside NE Ohio, then by 4 years later there were very few; now there are a bunch again.

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

Note 3 -- Ouch

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Note 4 -- True.  If LeBron was going to leave, he should have just left.  The Decision, as an event, only made sense if he were staying.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.
The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

Note 5 -- We really have our eye on a young man named Anthony Bennett.


You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE"

Note 6 -- I wonder if fans ever collected on this alleged "guarantee."


You can take it to the bank.

Note 7 -- I tried, and no bank was willing to take Gilbert's word that the Cavs would win before the Heat.  I wonder if Cavs fans were able to obtain ticket refunds when James beat OKC in June of 2012?

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

Note 8 -- What the hell does that mean?  LeBron wanted to win a title but didn't want to die (i.e. stay in Cleveland) to do so?  Is that really a positive comment to your fans?  "Look, I know living in Cleveland fucking sucks, but LeBron should have to live here and pay that awful, awful, unthinkable price to win...."

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

Note 9 -- What is the quoted "who" supposed to mean?  "Grow up" isn't a hyphenated term.  Come on, Dan, think of other similar usages.  "If I had a party would you show-up?"  "That issue with him is really going to blow-up."  Come on.


But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.
The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south.

Note 10 -- Nope.

And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Just watch.

Note 11 -- I watched.  He and the town where he played won 2 titles and went to 4 Finals while the Cavs slid into obscurity.

Sleep well, Cleveland.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

Note 12 -- This "energy" resulted in having the #1 pick and selecting Anthony Bennett, resulting in having the #1 pick again.  I cannot figure out the importance of the capitalized  "Delivering you."  If it is that crucial, wouldn't the "you" after I PROMISE be capitalized?  Rich people, clearly, are not always smart people.

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers

Note 13 -- At least he put his name at the end.  He owns this pile of crap forever rather than just saying "The Cleveland Cavaliers Organization." 

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